Virtual Blog Tour

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A while back KiwiBee from Snap Thoughts kindly nominated me for the Virtual Blog Tour. I’m not normally a lover of awards or of nominating others for them because as a rule they are very time consuming and once the first flush of excitement passes, quite frankly sometimes they can be a pain in the ass. The fact that people visit here and oftentimes comment is reward enough for me. I read this one though and it’s something different, so I decided to give it a try. The hardest part, as with all these awards is knowing who to nominate, because I follow so many brilliant people. My hope would be, that as we all in someway interlock with each other, this will eventually make it’s way around us all.

The three rules of this tour are as follows:

1. Compose a one-time post which is posted on Monday (date will be given to you from whoever passes on the tour)

2. Answer four questions about your creative process which lets other bloggers and visitors know what inspires you to do what you do.

  • What am I working on?
  • How does my work differ from others of its genre?
  • Why do I write/create what I do?
  • How does your writing/creating process work?

3. Pass the tour on to up to four other bloggers. Get their permission first, give them rules and a specific Monday to post.

So here goes:

What am I working on?

Right now I’m working on keeping my blogs afloat. I want to try and get back to the fun posts from before, because of late life has become quite intense and manic and somewhere in the middle of it all I lost myself.

Mental Mama from Mental in the Midwest and I also run the Cartoon Craziness Challenge, where each week people submit doodles / cartoons based around a given theme.

I have two blogs, this one and also The Misadventures of May Dupp. May is all the things that I am not, fabulous, fashionable, fiesty and confident. She is also totally fictional, which gives me another level of creativity that I don’t always have here. She also has her own Twitter account, where I can portray a level of confidence I wish I had, I mean I would never in a million years say something like this, not even in jest:

As easy as it sounds, though, assuming the identity of someone else and writing as them is harder than I thought, essentially I am a story teller, but I would have to say, not a very good one. With time I hope I can improve.

How does my work differ from others of it’s genre?

I’m not all together sure that it does. My intention would be to make people laugh, which would be the end goal for anyone who writes in that genre. Whether I succeed or not is a matter for those who read me, but I would like to think I have made each person laugh at least once. It’s hard though to be funny all the time, so seriousness has to creep in sometimes, but if a little humour can be injected into that as well, then that’s no bad thing.

Why do I write / create what I do?

I could say for others, but the truth is, it is every bit as much for me too. If I am going to be this stupid and ridiculous I might as well share it out, it would be nothing short of a crime to keep it all to myself. How will I ever know how many more eejits there are in this world of ours if I do not reach out to them. In just over a year I have found quite a few already and I love each and every one of them.

How does your writing / creating process work?

Occasionally I will take notes, but when I look back on them, they usually make no sense. Usually my process works like this:

  • I think of something.
  • I forget to write it down.
  • I’m all excited because I feel it is the best idea I have EVER had!
  • I get distracted.
  • I forget my idea.
  • I write about something completely different.
  • Repeat cycle.

I’m pretty sure I am not alone in that creative process and up until now the ‘Haphazard Method’ as it will now become affectionately known has served me quite well!

Over to you

I would like to nominate the following bloggers for a virtual blog tour on the 13th October 2014, I have not however asked their permission, because although I had this set in my calendar to give me plenty of warning to get things done, I forgot to check my calender….Doh!!

Like I said before I follow many blogs all of which are amazing in their own right, however my nominations are for people I feel are a different class of writer to me, as in I am coach, they are first, and I am genuinely interested in their thought processes:

Rob’s Surf Report

Write Up the Spine

A Prompt Reply

Jed’s Playhouse

Please also check out the blogs of the other eejits who comment here, there are many hidden gems among them you have yet to discover.

Thank you KiwiBee for your nomination, I actually enjoyed writing this post, but don’t tell anyone in case I get more nominations :)

The write stuff…

Blog

In the week or so when I didn’t feel like writing, or felt I had nothing to write about, I went wandering through blogsphere looking for inspiration. I came across the Daily Post writing challenge and thought, oh ello, I’ll have a bit of that. It’s been a long time since I have written any fiction, excluding May Dupp that is, she’s a law onto herself.

The challenge involved picking both a photograph and a first line, before letting your imagination take over and for some reason I wanted to use my character Polly Carmichael again.

It’s a big world out there. Those were the words engraved on the back of the compass.

Polly Carmichael sat on a wooden seat. The wooden seat was in front of a tall building that gave poor Polly a crick in her neck as she tried to count the floors for the umpteenth time.

Teddy sat beside Polly Carmichael on the wooden seat. He too had a crick in his neck from looking up at Polly, who was looking up at the building counting the floors for the umpteenth time.

Passers by looked at the strange combination of the young girl and her Teddy bear sitting on the wooden bench.

“Why are we here Polly?” asked Teddy.

“Because this is where the compass brought me” said Polly holding it towards Teddy so he could see.

That was as far as I got. For two days I wracked my brain trying to think of a punchline around which I could build my little story, but nothing came and I was disappointed, because although I am not too good at it, I quite enjoy penning some fiction.

That’s why I like the May Dupp site, I can craft a life around her that is infinitely more exciting than my own and make her do things that I would never dream of, although to be fair I would be afraid of making her bungee jump lest she broke a nail.

I used to like the Daily Prompt’s, but more often than not these days, I look at them and think what the feck is that all about. I used to love the ‘Okay What If’ weekly challenge, but time was a factor and it was difficult to enter every week.

Perhaps one day out of the blue I will just start to write little works of fiction again and we can all find out what happened to Polly and Teddy and the mysterious compass!

Why I Blog…

Tim from the Hillybilly Blogger wrote yesterday about why he blogs, you can read his post HERE. It started me thinking and I foolishly told him that one day I would write a post about why I blog. He challenged me, and that’s a sure fire way to get me to do something.

Why I blog, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

I had a blog before, around 10 years ago. I remained anonymous and it was a place where I could record the thoughts that were rumbling around in my head, in an effort to try and make sense of them. I was going through a difficult time, lots of things had happened at once and my house of cards came crashing down around me. It was a relief when the Doctor diagnosed my chest pains as stress / depression and not a heart attack. That was the start of a mental healing process, part of which included writing on my blog.

It was popular enough, I had comments from people who were going through the same kind of things. I also had comments from others who told me to get a grip on myself. Those were not helpful, and only served to increase my anxiety. Did these people think I liked having depression, did they think it was a choice, because believe me, there are very few people who would choose to travel that path given the option.

I chose not to start on a course of anti depressants, but that, according to the Doctor was the next step. Over the next few months I walked for miles, thought, got angry, but eventually was lucky enough to be able to pull myself out of the pit I had fallen into. Others are not so lucky and still fight their demons on a daily basis, my heart goes out to them.

As my mental state started to shift, my need for the blog lessened, until eventually I made the decision to close it down completely. I wanted to start looking forward, instead of constantly looking back.

Fast forward 10 years and I am in a similar situation. Sustaining a leg injury and the 6 month process of healing took it’s tole on me. Mentally, although not as bad as the time before, I was fragile.

When I first started I had no expectations of what was going to happen. This time I wanted to write to cheer myself up, and if in the process I did that for others also, then that was a bonus. The constant nagging from one of my best friends Paul every 5 minutes didn’t help either, and in fact my very first post was written purely to shut him up and get him off my case. I wasn’t even sure after that if I would write any more.

I’ve told this before in many posts, so my apologies if you are having to read it again, call it old age, it makes me repeat myself.

I used to look at blogs that had a couple of hundred followers and loads of comments and think ‘I wish that was me’. Even though we ‘write for ourselves’, I think we all hope, just a little that we will gain followers and create something that people actually want to read and discuss. We are human after all.

Now that is me, I have followers and people who comment on a regular basis, and blogging has become so much more than I originally thought it could be. I like to think I have not forgotten anyone, there are people who have been with me from day one. I feel sad when someone leaves or takes a break, I feel guilty when I have not spoken to someone for a week and I feel pain when I read what some of my friends are going through.

We start out as bloggers, we write, we strive to amuse, we entertain and for the most part we lay ourselves bare on blank spaces for all the world to plunder. From that first keystroke on that first entry, unbeknown to us, we start a journey.  It’s a journey of discovery, not only of all that the world has to offer, but also of ourselves. I know I have changed, as has my writing style, but I hope it is a change for the better.

One day you will write a post and realise that you are there, that you have become the person that you strived to be at the start, with regards to your followers and comments. You will be thankful for all that you have been able to achieve, but you will also realise that it is no longer the most important thing.

When you sit down, cup of coffee in hand and look back, because someone has challenged you as to the reasons why you blog, you will realise it is because you have become part of a family. You will begin to appreciate the love that surrounds you, the support that is offered to you and help you receive. You will realise that it is these people, along with your family and friends who have provided light in the darkness and a reason to smile when you thought there was none.

That is the reason why I blog. I could never have made it through this last year on my own.

What about you?

Totally Random!

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Image by twilightfan1997

Sometimes it’s all just going on in the top box, round and round in the empty space between the ears and the only thing left to do is get it out there into the open. Be forewarned of the randomness of this post, leave now and forever preserve your sanity!

Reading

I’m behind on my reading of other blogs. I keep being interrupted by annoying things like work, housework, cooking and cleaning. Ok so there might also be a little bit of Candy Crush and Cookie Crunch or whatever it’s called, but it’s pretty much the first four!

Aside from the above there is also the issue of the WordPress reader. I like it, alot, however because I follow so many blogs, posts tend to get lost. I’ll start it up in the morning and regardless of how many new posts there are, it will always say 20. When I hit load and read those 20, it automatically takes me back to the ones from the day before, meaning I miss out on all the beautific blogginess inbetween.

It’s not a life endangering problem or anything, but it is annoying. I’m really nosey, I don’t want to miss anything. So my question is, do any of you have suggestions for other readers for say the Android platform into which I could load all the blogs I love and then see them as a feed perhaps, never again missing an important post?

Wow, reading back on that I almost sound like I know what I am talking about. The truth is however that I am clueless and in need of assistance…bats eyelids!

How do you read yours? (said in my best Creme Egg voice)

Girls on GTA

Anyone who follows my blog will remember the post I did in relation to Grand Theft Auto and my likes and dislikes regarding it.

I still find the reaction I get from guys really funny. Some of them still cannot believe that girls actually game, and on hearing your voice either become tongue tied and shy, or morph into a total asshole, telling you that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and should have all your attention.

Luckily my friends just treat me exactly the same, and offer no preferential treatment just because I am of the female persuasion. They do however make allowances for the fact I am stupid and offer a fair amount of help to compensate for that.

The funniest thing to date though has to be someone joining the party chat and GTA game session I was in and on realising I was a female drove as fast as their little CGI car could travel to check me out. For badness I turned around and asked him if he thought my bum looked big in the jeans I was wearing. I mean come on, it’s a game and I built a character, I’m not going to make it a likeness now am I. I’m going to take great care to get the boobs, belly and butt I always wanted, not the ones I have!!

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Does my bum look big?

Random Game Recommendations

As if being shamefully addicted to Candy Crush was not enough, Paul, yep the twat who owns, but never writes over at Nugs321 thought it would be fun to issue me a challenge for Cookie Jam. He always knows that the best way to get me to do something is to start a sentence with “I bet you can’t….”. In this case, the challenge was to beat his current level which at the time was 35. So of course in order to prove him wrong I did just that, and became addicted at the same time.

It’s pretty similar to Candy Crush only you have to make cakes. It’s good mindless, time wasting fun, but it’s starting to interfere with my journeys to and from work as by the time I play those 5 lives and the 5 for Candy Crush and then switch back, there is precious little time to do anything else!

Quick, help me find a reader! (See Random fact No 1)

Here endeth the randomness, you may resume what you were doing :)

 

Am I feeling Guilty?

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So I think I finally figured out what it is that has been bugging me and stalling my activity on the blog just a little. I feel guilty, go figure!

Anyone who knows me in real life can vouch for the fact I am a worrier. In fact it is one of the things I am well known for. At Christmas even the Fathership turned traitor and wrote in my card that he wished me a worry free 2014, we laughed about it afterwards because he realised that statement was a stupid as I did.

I worry about everything, and I mean e v e r y t h i n g. I am though,  getting better at trying to use coping strategies. They don’t always work, but for the 10 minutes I try,  it at least focuses my mind on something else.

I care a lot about what people think of me, I know I shouldn’t, because I don’t need approval from anyone else, but for some reason I still do. I would guess that deep down most of us are the same.

Throughout my time here, I have been amazed at the support I have received from others. There have been people who have been with me every step of the way, commenting on almost every post I have written. Of late, for one reason or another I have not had the same time to read, comment on and write posts. I have still been reading, but it’s usually a quick 5 minutes here or there when I can grab the time, meaning comments fall by the wayside. I still try to like everything I have read and erm liked, assuming WP is working correctly, the like button has been a little temperamental of late.

Commenting, when I do have the time, still causes me issues. I know you might find it hard to believe, but,  sometimes I am at a complete loss for words, so rather than make an ass of myself I say nothing at all. It does’t mean I like you or your post any less, it’s usually just that I am dumbstruck / awestruck or have nothing further to add to what you or your commenter’s have already said. The other reason is that I consider you to be smarter than the average bear, well this one anyway. In fact that accounts for pretty much 100% of the blogs I follow. Damn all you smart people!

So in an effort to help myself feel a little less guilty and to ease some of the worry I am writing this post by way of explanation and apology.

I am very grateful to every follower I have, and to every blog I follow for keeping me entertained. I am sorry that right now I can’t get to like and comment on everything, but you have to believe that I really wish I could. I don’t want anyone to ever think I am just not bothering, because that’s not the case. The truth is, I would be lost without all of you. You’re like my very own Newspaper, providing gossip, drama, comedy, cartoons, fortune telling via a Music Quiz and something far better than Dear Dierdre ever was in the shape of Mr Smithson. Anyone want to volunteer for Mr Page 3??

There are so many challenges I would also like to do, but time just gets away from me. I try to squeeze in as many as I can.

My worrying self knows realistically that no one probably notices or cares whether or not I do challenges, comment, like or read and that right now you are probably shaking your head and thinking what on earth is that stupid cow on about now, and you’d be right, but it was worrying me, so I had to get it out there, to get over it.

All these things are important to me, as are all of you, and I just needed to remind you of that!

Pertaining to thought!

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If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done. – Bruce Lee 

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and I have come to the conclusion that I do a lot of thinking. There is a chance that I might in fact, do a little too much thinking.  All thought and no play makes Julie a dull girl!

Thinking in itself would not be a problem, especially if there was some reason behind it, or perhaps a few light bulb moments, but no, I kind of just stare off into space and think about….well that’s the thing I have no idea what I think about.

I’d love to say it’s because I over use my obviously highly intelligent brain cells, which then need to shut down to regenerate, but you and I both know that’s not true. I have and always will be a member of the Not The Brightest Pixie In The Forest Brigade. Out of interest I decided to Google that very phrase and surprisingly I am the second entry, being pipped to the post by Wikipedia, who being much more knowledgeable than I, could probably tell you who the brightest pixie in the forest actually is.

I’ve decided to curtail my thinking activities in the hope that it will make me more productive. All those moments when I blank out and transcend to Thinksville could be used for things like drawing and writing. I was going to say cooking and housework and then I ‘thought’ wise up. That one I listened to.

There are times though when the practice of thinking will still be permitted:

  • I shall still continue to think before I speak, as I have been told that a smack in the mouth can be a quite painful.
  • I shall continue to think before I cross the road, because I need to get to the other side safely to ask the Chicken a question.
  • I shall continue to think about what to wear each day. I made a New Years resolution that I would never go shopping in my Onesie, and so far, despite a few wobbles, I have remained true to my word.
  • I shall continue to think about what I make the ‘Ships’ (Mothership and Fathership)for dinner. Too much spice might have them reaching for the cooling bog roll in the secret compartment of the fridge.
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Keep in fridge for Spice Nights!

There is however one thing I do intend to do a little more of, and that’s thinking positively. I don’t seem to have been doing very much of that lately, which goes a little way to explaining my lack of posts. From now on when I get stuck for things to blog about, I will politely remind myself that I can write whatever I want, even if it is a random post about thinking.

For now though, I think it’s bedtime.  Another late night, the Thin King has a lot to answer for!

Be Yourself!

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Image from http://www.zazzle.co.nz

Being an eejit I decided to read up on the ‘How to Blog’ sections of WordPress after I had already signed up and posted a couple of times. I’ve said it before and I will say it a million more times, I am not the brightest pixie in the forest!

My approach to learning is rather lazy. I’ll find as much reading material as I can about my chosen subject matter, and then proceed to skim the pages until I locate the information I require. If it’s something that matters to me it will stick in my brain, meaning the papers get discarded and I ultimately become bored because I achieved my original goal.

Had I read all the information with regards to blogging before hand, the chances are I would never have started, and even though I already had a few followers, I still felt I was doomed for failure. I was just not ordered and disciplined enough to follow all the guidelines.

Everyone advised me that in order to succeed I had to pick a subject and stick to it ensuring I had a consistent theme running throughout. That was a huge problem for me. You see I am good at little bits and pieces of many things but I am not a master of any. I knew myself that if I chose this path then I would stumble at the first hurdle.

It takes a while initially to find your feet, and it takes even longer to become truly comfortable in your surroundings. Do I feel comfortable yet? The honest answer to that would have to be, probably not. I still worry each time I publish a post. I practically had a mini meltdown the first time I posted on Okay, What If?, just ask Jed.

I had this idea at the start that I was going to be fine and post anything I wanted as I was essentially posting to strangers, but over time I got to know the strangers and they became friends and then like a second family and I realised that I cared what they thought.

I write about anything and everything that comes to mind. Sometimes I don’t write anything at all, especially on the days when the Mothership is experiencing turbulence. On those days anxiety cripples me and I find it hard to function, never mind string together a legible sentence.

I’ve been lucky, everyone who has clicked the follow button either likes my haphazard style of writing, or has been too polite to mention anything. One sure thing is, none of them have ever told me I need to pick a subject and stick to it. I’m still amazed I have any followers at all. 10 months on and I still experience a little rush of delight from every like, comment and follow.

So the point of this post is, never mind what the guidelines advise you to do. Just do what you want to do. I have a very strong belief now, after being lucky enough to find all the people that I have, that those who are meant to be around, and with you will find you, we’re all here for a reason.

I don’t want to be rich or famous, I just want to make people smile :)

Sleep typing…

The past few days have been weird around blogsphere what with everything going on. I wanted to write yesterday, but the post was in pieces and I couldn’t quite manage to pull it together, so in the end I gave up and watched a few episodes of ‘Life Unexpected’ instead.

I also wanted to start work on a new What If? piece for Jed and his blog, but again I couldn’t get anything to stick. Any suggestions for me?

I’m sure it has not escaped your notice that despite my big girl bragging about changing my page and forcing it to grow up, there are little or no differences at all. Now, before you get all judgmental on me, it has NOTHING to do with me being lazy and EVERYTHING to do with me not being able to find a theme that I like as much as my current one. I tried each and every one in WordPress, on Saturday night, cos I’ve no social life thats just how I roll! In the end I gave up. I need more time to make an informed decision so that when I start the begging process with Paul regarding a new banner I know exactly what I am asking for! That said I have help on tap with regards to CSS cos my good friend from No Blog Intended passed her exam with flying colours! Well done young lady :)

This is only going to be a short post, I managed a 10 hours shift in work today, the first since I had my accident and do you know what, it felt good. The Diamond Dancer and I didn’t stop and I was amazed at how quickly the time went and the amount we were able to achieve in it.

I’d left dinner out for the olds with instructions on what to do. It seems they managed ok, apart from one phone call from the Fathership asking what number on the cooker the spuds had to be turned on to. It would appear however that unless something is able to go in the dishwasher neither of the ‘ships’ will touch it, meaning after arriving home at 9.45pm I had to start and wash the pots and pans and then prepare tomorrow nights dinner. Next time I go out, they can order in and I will leave out paper plates and cups. Problem solved!

That’s about all I can manage, I really don’t want to wake up in the morning with ‘qwerty’ embedded on my forehead because I fell asleep at the keyboard!

One last thing tho before I go, can I please (if I have not already) draw your attention to my new page entitled ‘Challenges’. On it you can find the most recent ones from Okay, What if?, Robs Surf  Report and also Steve’s Monday Music Challenge. Check them out and put in an entry, go on I dare ya!

Night night now :)

P.s The video at the top is The Crooked Kind by Radical Face. It’s my song of choice for this week. It’s been on repeat since I first heard it!

Feeling Humbled!

-Dear-Followers

I’ve had a few new followers of late, thank you very much and you are more than welcome. My apologies for the fact that I have not been along personally to thank you, but you see I never did that with any of the old hands and I don’t want to hear any cries of discrimination. People seem to just happen along and hang around, adding bits and pieces every now and again and that’s just the way I like it. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay. There’s a great bunch of folks who visit, I’m sure you’ll get to know them soon enough.

The addition of new followers to my blog has also meant the addition of new material to my reader. I love it when people introduce themselves, because the chances are I would never have found them otherwise. For some reason, my ‘You May Like’ section usually throws up the same 4 blogs, even though I have previously indicated they were not my type of thing. If you think about it, there are over a million people on WordPress, but yet it still recommends the same ones. Perhaps I have found the best ones already, most days it certainly feels like I have, because you lot rock!

I always did pretty much live on the Internet, right from the first time my sister let me have a go on her laptop and introduced me to ICQ. I spoke to people all over the world and nothing would do but I had to get a computer of my very own to explore this new world I had previously known nothing about. Over the years I have made some amazing friends, met some complete wankers, learned new skills, honed old ones and many other things that I would never have managed were it not for easy access to the World Wide Web.

Despite how I come across I am actually quite a shy person, most likely due to low self esteem, so hiding behind the screen of a computer suits me just fine. I do love going out with my friends and if I feel comfortable with you I will open up, but I hate that moment of having to meet someone for the first time, or walking into a crowded room. People who know me would tell you that they find this weird. They say I am the life and soul of the party and strangely, they find me funny. I love that, but it bemuses me at the same time.

So you see this little space of mine on the Internet, has given me a lot to be thankful for. I have been fortunate enough to meet amazing people, with more coming along every day. I’ve shared their stories, their journeys, their happiness and heartache. I’ve been in total awe of the strength people show in the most dire of circumstances and how despite everything they continue to write, offering those who follow hope and a lifeline. I’ve giggled at the sexploits of others, yes Sean, this time I do mean you, take a bow! and I’ve even been educated, probably more than I ever was at school.

I don’t get time to comment on every post I read and the ‘Like’ button along with Translink’s free Wifi have been a tad temperamental of late, but I try and read as often as I can to keep up to date with everyone’s goings on. So don’t think that just because I have not liked or commented on a post that I have not read it. Even after all this time I still get stuck for things to say, so I choose not to comment. Sometimes nothing else needs to be said.

There has been so much going on here too, what with working full time, being later home at night and the cooking every day now, that I don’t have the same amount of time I used to. I want to be writing all the time and my mind is a hive of activity with ideas for this site and also for posts on Okay, What if?, where I now guest post, it’s just that when I finally get everything done my brain goes, ‘seriously you want me to remember all those things you were thinking about? How about a big slice of feck away off” and the great ideas I had vanish into the ether.

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Image from simplelifestrategies.com

In fact it’s doing that right now, reminding me it’s bed time and that I’ve not been sleeping the best. Funny things brains, ingenious inventions, you can be as thick as shit, but the old top box still rules the roost!

Anyway all I wanted to say was, thank you for following me, for putting up with me and for sticking around. I am so glad to have met you all!

 

Well hello there 2014!

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Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!