Tag: Blogging

It’s a New Year!

The Indecisive Eejit47 Comments

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Happy New Year to you Eejits, 2016 is here. For some strange reason I could not find any New Year cartoons on Bitstrips, so I picked the one above, mainly because I liked it, but also because it reminded me of the Sound of Music which I was belting out at the top of my voice yesterday. Yep, you know that rain, it was probably my fault.

You might be fooled into thinking this is me merrily skipping though meadows, technically I am, but it’s more like a running away kinda thing than merrily skipping. Please note my invisible suitcases, one carries my Xbox and the other all the stationary I got for Christmas, and no before you ask, I didn’t forget about the penguins, they are all in the imaginary rucksack or should that be knapsack on my back.

If the last two weeks are anything to go by, then there is going to be very little ‘happy’ about this new year.

Normally I’ll write a post on New Years Eve, this year I just couldn’t do it, my mind was occupied with other things and being trampled with anxiety. I tried again yesterday, nope, nothing, same as they day before, so I did housework instead.

I’d love to sit here and tell you about all the amazing and wonderful things I would like to achieve in 2016, but you know what, it’s pointless, I need to start being realistic and stop living with my head in the clouds, because no matter what I think, life is just not the same anymore. Somewhere along the line I’ve lost myself, because I’ve become bogged down in all the things I need to do for everyone else.

In 2016 I will be happy enough to exist. I hope there are more good days than bad and that I can still find reasons to smile. I hope to be able to continue blogging, despite the fact that when my head is mush I find it hard to formulate sentences. I hope to meet more new people and some of the old ones face to face. I hope to shed a few pounds, but then again I say that every year and it’s usually only achievable by throwing some butter out the back door. Perhaps if I aim small, I will achieve the impossible.

2015 wasn’t a bad year, there was much to be grateful for, but it’s doubtful I could have got through it at all if it had not been for all of you and this platform. Writing really is good for the soul.

Thank you for being here and sticking with me even though I have not been around much. I hope to rectify that in 2016, but I’m making no promises. I have no idea what I will write about, but hopefully, somewhere along the line there will be laughter. If nothing else, that’s one thing we are good at!

Much love to you all and here’s to 2016, the year of achieving the impossible :)

A rant about reading!

The Indecisive Eejit51 Comments

Burning Sun

This post will probably be quite short, there’s also more than a slight possibility that it’s going to be a rant. Brace yourselves.

For a long time now and in many posts I have lamented the fact that it is almost impossible sometimes to keep up with reading on WordPress. The sheer volume of amazing content and posts is astounding sometimes, blogs I follow can between them export up to 30 posts a day. This last two weeks I’ve found work extremely difficult due to a whole host of changes taking place. At night by the time everyone was fed and all the dishes done I had no energy left for anything other than plonking myself in front of the TV and there I stayed until I dragged my sorry arse up to go to bed.

The train WiFi was also being an arse most likely due to the fact that schools and technical colleges have returned for the new term and the passenger levels on the train have tripled.  There was a few times I nearly lost my phone, mainly because I wanted to heft it out the window.

I got behind on my reading.

There are two main ways I try to keep up, one would be the WordPress reader and the other Bloglovin. The former used to be great and then it was updated and started skipping and missing huge chunks of posts for no reason, at that point I moved most of the blogs I follow into Bloglovin. It was great, it easily filled in the chunks that I was missing. Then they updated it too and now neither of the two work that well. Don’t get me wrong, I can still read posts in both, WP reader will allow me to do all the things I need to, it just seems to be selective about which posts it shows. Bloglovin on the other hand seems to show all posts, but will not allow me to either like or comment, instead it just hangs on a white page. It is extremely frustrating.

Moral of the story and a note to the creators of both readers – If it’s not broke, don’t feckin fix it!

Which way now?

The Indecisive Eejit50 Comments

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I think I’m at a bit of a crossroads and I am not sure what direction to take.

Every day this week I have plonked myself in front of my computer with the intention of writing something, anything. Instead, I have nothing, not a damn thing. That makes me question why I am here and why I continue to do this. Even now as I sit here trying to put everything down it’s twisting and turning in my head.

I never thought I would last this long to be honest, I rarely stick at anything. If I don’t feel it’s working then I let it go. I set standards for myself that are usually unachievable and berate myself when I fail. What I don’t realise at the time is that I am usually setting myself up to fail.

When I started blogging I wanted to get the word out there, I wanted people to read, while I didn’t want to be famous, I did want some interaction. I have written many posts before detailing how what I thought would happen and what did happen were two different things and I still stand by those sentiments as expressed in this post:

When you sit down, cup of coffee in hand and look back, because someone has challenged you as to the reasons why you blog, you will realise it is because you have become part of a family. You will begin to appreciate the love that surrounds you, the support that is offered to you and help you receive. You will realise that it is these people, along with your family and friends who have provided light in the darkness and a reason to smile when you thought there was none

Giving up is not an option. While I still feel like I do not measure up, I finally feel like I fit somewhere. I’m a very small part, but I am a part none the less.

I think I am changing, perhaps I am even starting to grow up. I still want to be the happy person I used to be, but most days life has a habit of suppressing it, there is too much other shit to deal with and it’s constant. By the time I deal with all the responsibilities I am too tired to deal with anything else.

I feel restricted in some ways, again, no ones fault but my own. In going back to my statement earlier about wanting to get the word out there I told people I knew, from real life when I started blogging and now I wish I hadn’t because in doing so I feel that I can’t be as open or as honest as I would like to be. That’s something I have to figure out a solution for own my own.

I don’t want to be the kind of person who throws posts out just to fill empty spaces or get blog views, I no longer care about stats, but I do care about this community. I wish I could go back to my younger days were words flowed, they just were and I did not have to give thought or consideration to what anyone else might think.

Sometime in the future I might decide that writing and blogging is no longer for me, but today is not that day.

Perhaps it is more about finding a balance than choosing a path.

The Future Challenge

The Indecisive Eejit28 Comments

Loopy Future]

Ok so the fact that I have done a few challenges does not mean I am fair game for offers of more. I am still not a fan, half times I don’t even get time to do my own. Occasionally though I will complete one and this one placed before me by Edwina from Edwina’s Episodes is one I shall attempt because she’s lovely and always very supportive of me. It’s the start of the post and I have not yet decided if I will inflict the pain on anyone else yet. Probably not, I am scared of repercussions.

The Rules: 

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  • Link back to the challenge creator, Dreams and Movie Screens so she can track your progress – Done.
  • Share 5 things about your future (jobs, kids, marriage, travel etc). Then one day you can look back and find out how psychic you really are.
  • Tag 5 bloggers and put them up to the challenge.

Thank you Edwina, mumble mumble groan groan and all that malarky, you probably thought I hadn’t read the post, but I had, it’s just taken me this long to get around to it. It’s a good job I like you young lady! :)

My Future

When I first read this nearly two weeks ago I had no idea how I was going to answer. Present life these days is not so great, the ups and downs of looking after someone with dementia can prove challenging, so when I think of the future I am quite honestly filled with dread. To wish for easier days is pretty much pointless as there is no cure as yet for this horrible disease. so what do I write, let me see:

  • To feel confident in my job – One day, I would like to be able to deal with the challenges that work throws at me without fluttering towards the ceiling every time the shit hits the fan. A year on and I still feel like the new girl, but I suppose in part that is because the job itself is always changing. Every time I turn around they are giving me something else to do.
  • To wean myself off peanut M&M’s so that hopefully one day I will lose some weight and take much needed pressure of my poor knees. Getting a new bra might help with that too, you have no idea how much things sag when you get older :)
  • To perhaps get a tattoo – I have no idea what, where or when or even if ever, but it’s something I keep mulling over. It will be interesting to find out if my future self grows a set of balls.
  • To keep entertaining people. I’ve struggled with blogging this last while and spoke to someone with similar feelings yesterday. I’ve wondered at times over the last few weeks if this is even something I want to continue, but it is, so I hope that The Indecisive Eejit or something similar exists in my future.
  • To be financially stable. If only I had told myself that many years ago :)

I hate passing on challenges as I know everyone is as busy as me, however on this occasion I am going to pass it on to one person, because over the last couple of months she has already made changes and I am genuinely interested to see what she thinks might be in her future, don’t hate me Bipolar Calico, over to you!

I drank your Cappuccino!

The Indecisive Eejit47 Comments

If I was having coffee

I’ve seen the If we were having coffee posts going on for a while now, I had a look back, but I can’t find a recent one to link back to, so thank you to the person who’s idea this is. I’ve never before done one of these, but I have a few bits and bobs to share so figured that now was  as good a time as any, hide your cappuccino’s people, here I come!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that it is exactly three years ago today since I hurt my leg. It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed, most days it still feels like yesterday. While swapping things over on my mobile phone, I came across notes I had made on Evernote regarding my progress, how far my leg was bending, how physio was going and some pictures of Alien leg. At the time I thought I would never be the same, in some ways I was right, I’m not the same, I can’t do a lot of the things I used to and I have to live with pain, but I am walking and as normal as I will ever be. It goes to show that the things that knock you off your feet are just steps that need negotiated. Even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time, we get up and we get on, and we adapt to the new situation.

If we were having coffee I’d probably be on my second cup by now and half way through a caramel square, because that’s how I roll. I’d have my phone out and I’d be showing you the stats on my blog, completely amazed at the fact I have reached 900 followers. You’d probably tell me that clearly those people lead very boring lives if they find me interesting and I’d totally agree, but I’d tell you that I love them all, and they have made life more livable on more than one occasion.

You’d also notice and point out the fact that I had now moved on to a piece of cake and I’d tell you that’s because I am hungry. I had amazing plans to make some nice stewed steak with carrots and gravy but it didn’t quite work out. Being polite you’d ask me why and I would tell you that my crock pot was broken so I had to order a new one which arrived on Friday. I was quite excited and eagerly opened the box, which was rather large for a slow cooker, only to find a suitcase. I actually had to ask the Fathership if my eyes were deceiving me because I couldn’t quite believe it myself, but sadly they were not, it was most definitely a bright blue suitcase. W T absolute F! I can’t cook in that says I and gets straight on the phone. Needless to say it’s going back and I am going hungry!

Last but not least I’d tell you that I saw the RAF Red Arrows for the first time (that I can remember) in my life. Quite a sight. The Mothership may forget many things, but never the men in the red planes. Even though she hated us (the Fathership and I) because we took her out of her normal routine and could hardly see them, because they were quite small and hard to follow from where we were, when she saw the signature smoke trails she cried and waved. She was never going to let on she enjoyed it though or was happy we took her, she was way to pissed off for that. Sometimes you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t, so all you can do it try and hide from the aftermath!

It’s at this point I’d pay my bill and ask you same time next week?

I’ve said it before, but…

The Indecisive Eejit47 Comments

This last week I returned to some kind of normality with regards to blogging, both reading and writing. It felt good. It reminded me how much I miss it.

Whilst reading this week I came across a lot of posts from writers thanking their followers or giving us, the reader an insight as to why they started blogging in the first place.

One such post was the wonderful I Am A Thief by J T Carlton, and it was while leaving a comment that I got thinking about the wonder that is the world of the blog.

We all start for various reasons, be it a form of therapy, entertainment, a break from boredom or the sheer relief of expelling the thoughts from our heads into a different type of receptacle. No one knows what to expect, especially in the early days when things are a little slow to start and tentative alliances are being formed.

I know for me, there were days when I wanted to give up because I really did feel like a small fish in a big pond. Even though I started writing for myself, I cannot deny that those little notifications were a delight, pushing me towards wanting to be more than I had originally thought.

If we tried to explain to outsiders, those who do not blog, the relationships that we forge as a result of writing and being part of a community, they would find it hard to understand. They would perhaps berate us for talking to strangers, because after all as children, that is what we are taught not to do.

The internet is a scary place and as such, it should be treated with caution. It’s OK to put yourself out there, but first and foremost, never lose sight of who you are and always trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. Gut feeling is a remarkable addition to this so called life.

Still though, despite all the barriers, we start to gain followers and form friendships and the art of blogging soon becomes more than we ever imagined it could. I have become a square in the patchwork quilt that is WordPress, not overly important, but essential all the same, because all our little squares, well we keep the whole thing together.

I’m never going to be an amazing writer, I am under no illusions, but that doesn’t matter because for me, it’s all about the community.

Life is hard, more so for some than others. I often wonder when I read the posts of some I follow how they can even carry on, yet still they do, with a strength and spirit that is nothing short of superhuman, even if they do not realise it themselves.

I can’t always interact, sometimes I become so emotionally invested in my own life that I have nothing left to give but on those days I still read and ‘like’ where I can. Slowly but surely the craft that is the words of others pulls me to the surface, have you met my followers, seriously, what’s not to love. I am extremely blessed.

So I too am going to thank my friends here, even though I know I can never convey in words just how they all make me feel.

Thank you for making me feel accepted and a part of something amazing. Thank you for loving me just exactly as I am, flaws and all. Thank you for being there and bringing me sunshine on the darker days, laughter on the sad ones and virtual hugs just when I needed them most. You have been an inspiration and my life is better because you chose to weave your way in.

I’ve said it before, but…..thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Is Summer coming?

The Indecisive Eejit45 Comments

Everyone is all a dither, there have been strange sightings in the sky, some say it is sunshine, but others disbelieve due to the fact that it has not been seen on the Emerald Isle for some time. I’m warm and itchy and generally uncomfortable in my clothing, so I think for me, that signals it’s at least getting warmer. Don’t worry though, I have no intention of stripping off and running through the bluebells. Poor, poor bluebells.

Last night I put my phone on to charge, which would have been great if only I had remembered to turn on the plug…..doh!! I went to work and due to the fact that it was busy all day, I never even got to plug it in. Fast forward a few hours and I am sitting on the train at the start of my journey home, ready to have a few hands of Yahtzee and catch up on blog reading and bam, there’s only a slither of battery power left. When travelling by NIR, you always need to think ahead, at any time there could be a train failure, or leaves on the line, and without a mobile phone, how would I ever be able to inform the Fathership of my late arrival.

Weighing up all these options in my head, I decided it best not to use the phone and instead opted for the Ipod Touch. Whilst virtually redundant now for most things, it still plays music, and plays it rather well might I add.  I listen to tunes sometimes whilst working on my computer, rarely however when I am blogging as I find it distracts my thoughts, but today, between the music and the sunshine, the thoughts were coming thick and fast. Snippets of poems like the old days, adventures for May and perhaps even for Polly Carmichael who I have not written about in a while.

I had no paper.

I had a pen, but no paper.

I had no phone, the mere slither of battery power left rendering it almost useless to write a post with.

I had a redundant Ipod touch, great music, no WordPress.

Bollocks.

I came home and I’ve got nothing. All my great ideas disappeared like the sun!

Eye, Eye!

The Indecisive Eejit36 Comments

It’s been a very surreal week, even by my standards. I spent most of it feeling like I was playing hooky from work, constantly waiting for the knock at the door and the person behind it telling me to get back to my desk.  Now before anyone judges me, ya buggers, I was actually on leave, albeit it was very short notice.

Last Saturday the Fathership got a letter to tell him he had to go for the minor eye op he was waiting for, the problem was it was set for Monday, not the Monday a week or two weeks away, more like the Monday, two days away, I thought, holy crap that’s quick, I better get him clean undercrackers!

Work were very good, I went in for a short while on Monday to get everything organised, ask for leave and then head to the hospital. I had some days booked for next week, but as I was still having to clean the ships eye and put in drops I swopped them and took all last week instead. It wasn’t the relaxing few days I wanted, but that’s life. Two ships and myself under one roof for more than two days creates a little bit of a pressure pot.

I’m sad I had to cancel the days for next week, I had been looking for a couple of days to kick back and chill, sadly this week was anything but and here we are in the middle of the weekend and it will soon be time to go back to work, can’t fecking wait…..not!

I’ve been giving a lot of though to this blog over the last week or so as well, wondering if it is something I should continue. It annoys me that I no longer have the time I need, which in turn saddens me because I cannot get the time to keep up on the reading of all the blogs I love. It is unfair of me to expect people to read and interact when I am not doing the same. I don’t want to give it up though, this is my little space and I feel like I need it sometimes to keep me sane. I’m not going to make any sudden decisions, I still hope that I will be able to get myself into a routine. So stick with me just a little bit longer please.

Sorry for the short update, but it’s 1.35 am and I think it’s time for bed!

I shall be in touch soon :)

Thank you for the award but………

The Indecisive Eejit55 Comments

……..there’s always a but isn’t there.

I’ve been asked a lot this week why I do not accept awards, I have also this week, been the recipient of a couple from fellow bloggers, so what better time to address the situation.

Break Out

I was incarcerated once, there I said it. Phew, I’m glad that’s off my chest. Now before you panic, not in a real prison, but I was put in a detention centre by Akismet – The Spam Killers, it was a cold, dark and lonely place called ‘The Spam Folder’.

Back in the day before any of you knew me, in fact before anyone really knew me I used to get awards and would dutifully do all that was asked of me before passing them on, usually via a link on my intended recipients blog. Before long I started to run out of answers for the questions that were posed, and I also noticed that my comments were no longer showing on other peoples blogs when I stopped by. I figured at first that like me,  people had comment moderation turned on, but time passed and the comment was still no where to be seen. After a lot of head scratching I wondered if I had perhaps annoyed the entire blogging community and was being collectively shunned for my crime, hard for you to imagine I know, but yes I CAN be that irritating. I headed to the blogs of my two best friends knowing they would never desert me, ok hoping they never would, but even they had too. D I S A S T E R!

Eventually, with the help of Mr Google I was able to figure out that I had fallen foul of the filters on Akismet and due to the link posting for the awards, I had been banned for my crimes and branded as Spam. After about a month of pleading and begging people to release me I was finally freed and able to feel the sun on my face, or on my pages…..ahh whatever….I was free, and there I wish to remain.

I have not done awards since, I cherish being able to leave comments and interact with everyone. That however does not mean I am ungrateful, far from it, there is nothing better than knowing that someone liked you enough to put you on their list, it is praise indeed. In the act of doing so, they then introduce you to some of their friends and your little community grows, as far as networking goes, it is a useful tool, just be careful with the links.

Another thing about awards is the fact that you usually have to nominate a certain amount of people to pass the torch too. This used to cause me terrible problems, I hated leaving anyone out as each person who follows and interacts here is unique with different endearing qualities. When you love everyone equally it’s hard to make choices.

I know I’m not here as often as I would like, I’m trying to make changes to rectify this, but hang around, read the comments and interact, not just with me but with everyone who comments here, that’s what this blog is all about, community and hopefully it’s funny too. I have the best bunch of people that can be found on WordPress and there is always room for more, make yourself at home.

To the people who nominated me this week, thank you very much, please know that it is appreciated. Janey from Cupid or Cats is pretty famous in blogging circles so I am humbled indeed and the lovely Ritu from But I Smile Anyway labelled my blog as funny, you have no idea how ridiculously pleased that made me, because after all, that’s the name of the game.

All in all a good end to a pretty up and down week. Whilst looking particularly stressed after a meeting this week, my very nice boss asked if he could make me a cup of tea to which I replied, “I’m away for a smoke, I need nicotine, we’re well past the tea stage!

And on that happy note, till next time eejits!

Lacking Inspiration

The Indecisive Eejit57 Comments

Blog Tidy

I’m having one of those days. I have so much to do, but I have no idea where to start. Thankfully the Ships (for newbies I mean my parents, the Mothership and the Fathership) have been fed and the chores are all done, everything that’s fuzzy is blog related.

I need to clean up, tidy up, read and write, but I find myself sitting here looking at a blank screen. My current favourite song of choice Hunger of the Pine plays in the background and my mind is drifting to other places. Anywhere other than where I actually need it to be, which is in the here and now.

This last few days May Dupp has also been rapping at the front of my brain reminding me she is still here and needs to be attended to as well. Sometimes I wish she was more like a ventriloquists dummy so I could just put her in a suitcase and wheel her out when needed. Unfortunately as she is free to wander the vast blank spaces between my ears, she can make her presence felt whenever she so chooses. Damn me and my imaginary characters.

I still can’t find a theme, there are bits and pieces I like about a lot of them, but very few where I like everything. My attempts for a banner have also stalled, I have decided I am no graphic designer. I still like what I have though so I’ll stick with it for a while longer.

I’ve not been writing much, what do you mean you didn’t notice *cue shocked face*. I don’t want this space to become somewhere I just moan about the rigors of caring for someone with dementia so on weeks like last week when it was prevalent, I decided to say very little. I try as much as possible to keep this a fun place,  of course I will have the occasional rant, who doesn’t, but I don’t want to drag myself, you and the kitchen sink into the mire. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try you just can’t summon the funny. Thank goodness the rest of you can and there is always something to read.

At this point Itunes randomly throws up and starts to play Paul Simon ‘I know what I know’, it’s fast becoming my man the feck up song and it works.

I’m still loving Twitter and have been playing the Hash Tag games, I personally thought my entry of ‘The Peelers’ was outstanding for the tag #IrishA Band, but what do I know. If you want to follow along and join in the link is over there somewhere ———–>

How’s your Sunday going?