Movies on a Monday!

October 20, 2014 The Indecisive Eejit6 Comments

I got the loveliest message this morning, that’s always a good way to start the day right?! Am I going to tell you what it said, no I’m not cos it’s private you nosey feckers, but suffice as to say it made me smile!

My sincere apologies to those of you who fought the good fight for the penguins, I am sorry, but as much as I loved the little blue articles they had to go, they made my page look too busy, and me dizzy in the process. That said, I kinda miss them, the plain blue border is downright dull by comparison. I shall just have to keep tweaking, either that or revert to the cats.

Maleficent_poster — Image courtesy of Wikipedia

I finally got to see Maleficent today, it was one that I was genuinely sorry to miss out on in the cinema. I like these kind of films, the combination of visual artistry and musical scores that accompany them. Long before I knew of the films existence I heard ‘Once Upon a Dream’ being sung by Lana Del Ray and fell in love. Only after a little investigation did I find out it was for a forthcoming film.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t blown away, but I was captivated, so much so that I did not see the time pass. Parts of it reminded me of Avatar, especially the bioluminescence in the world in which the young Maleficent lived. It’s a retelling of an old story, with a twist. Unfortunately I do not know the original very well, because while I am sure I read the book, I do not believe I watched Sleeping Beauty from start to finish. It’s a keeper though, so it will be added to the DVD collection at some stage.

I also finally cracked under the strain of yet again having to listen to the extremely loud buzzing noise on my parents phone line and rang BT to report it as a fault. I’m guessing it must have been bad when at least two of their operatives asked was I ringing with regards to the buzz on the line. No shit sherlock eh? Only thing is they have no idea what it is, so they are going to have to carry out line testing. I shall hear in approximately 24 – 48 hours. I just hope they remember to ring me back and not the faulty number, which sounds like it’s on it’s way out with the pathetic little half rings it is giving.

A bit like me really, tis bed time, I am not as young as I used to be!

Good night eejits :)

Shhh it’s Sunday!

October 19, 2014 The Indecisive Eejit22 Comments

Again it’s Sunday, is this becoming a little bit of a habit for me? Compared to last weekend it’s been relatively quiet, thank goodness, I don’t think I could have survived another one.

I’m feeling a little lack lustre this weekend, some things that were meant to happen didn’t and I feel a little meh. Perhaps I suffer from SAD syndrome and need to remember to shine a torch in my face for about 3 hours a day, as owing to the fact I am a sort of red head, exposure to the sun has pretty much the same effect on me as it does a Vampire.

Burning Sun

This is pretty much what I look like when the lady hormones are having their monthly conference as well!

I don’t know why, but this last few day I have been giving a lot of consideration to my blogs, that’s a very long winded way of saying I was having a good old think about where my life is going. I tweaked the theme on here, and also on May’s but then reverted her to how she was and am I still humming and hawing over this one.

I though about wrapping May up and no longer writing as her, it’s harder than I initially thought it was going to be. I enjoy being someone else, but I still worry that people will see similarities either with me or themselves in the things I write, which is not the case. The purpose of May is to be the person I am not, and to live the life I do not. I feel a pressure to write sometimes that weighs me down. I think of millions of things a day I want to record, but life gets in the way and by the time it has finished I have forgotten, or sometimes my mindset depending on how things are at home has the effect of a mental block.

Some good news however is that I am mostly caught up on my reading. You may have seen likes and very few comments. I had around 77 posts to catch up on, and that was only on Bloglovin, which I have to say has been a godsend.

Future plans – I have none, I’m just going to see how it goes. I would like to keep writing both here and on The Misadventures of May Dupp and for the most part this is what I will try to do, given the limited amount of free time I have. I’m open to ideas of prompts if anyone has any, I have found the Daily Prompt unappealing of late, it leaves me more confused than inspired.

I also wanted to do a piece for Jed’s blog, ‘Okay, What If?’ so if you have any suggestions for a topic I will be glad to give them consideration.

Till next time – keep smiling :)

The Woes of Winter

October 16, 2014February 25, 2015 May Dupp9 Comments

funny-pictures-duck-ice-they-see-me-slipping-laughing

It has to be said, I look amazing in a onsie. I am pretty sure the person who invented them had me in mind when doing so. Only that it would not be considered acceptable fashion for the work place, I would wear mine all the time.

They are not the most flattering outfit, but there is something cute about the soft fur and the little ears that adorn the hood of mine. I feel like a marshmallow being gently toasted by the light of the fire..well it’s more a gas heater, I mean who wants to be bother with the hassle of coal and sticks these days, certainly not me, I have the general well being of my nails to consider.

I dread the cold weather coming in, especially walking in the ice and snow, it ‘s always the day you decide to go commando that you go arse over tit while walking to the bus stop. It’s hard to keep your modesty in check whilst trying to save your handbag at the same time. Worse still is when a child decides to help you and hands back your tampon informing you that you dropped your sweet. Damn you and your fancy wrappers anyway. The look on his poor little face when he realised I was not going to give it back to him as a thank you, what was I to do? I handed him 20p and told him to run along, my face redder than Santa’s suit at Christmas.

Falling leaves, now there’s another curse. Forget what you see in the films, a cute couple kissing as the leaves cascade around them, that’s all bullshit, because what you don’t know is that someone lifted them both and carried them to that spot. The normal people, like you and I, well we’d be lucky to get to there without causing ourselves serious injury. Never mind the ’leaves on the line’ saga, have you ever experienced leaves on the bottom of your Louis Buttons…yes I know, everything about me is just fake, fake,fake. I have heard them described as ‘Killer heels’ in the past, but I didn’t realise that meant they were actually going to kill me. One step in the wrong direction onto a soggy leaf and you might as well say cheerio to any shred of street cred you had.

Ice is the same. With it’s help over the years I have perfected the art of the comedy run, where your feet move but you don’t actually go anywhere. Imagine Bambi on ice, only a little less classy!

So yeah, I can’t wait for Winter…..yay! I wish there was a way to convey sarcasm via text ffs.

Dating Do’s and Dating Don’ts

October 9, 2014February 25, 2015 May Dupp4 Comments

Periodically I will get fed up either being single, or of the talent in the Wicky Digit and find myself drifting back to the dangerous world of online dating. I say dangerous, because in some instances it would be of great benefit to have a full suit of body armour stashed at the back of your wardrobe.

I have already written about some of my experiences of Internet dating, and I seriously question my sanity every time I go to re-join, it is certainly not for the faint hearted, but in among the many, no, very very many, eejits, there are a few gems.

It would seem that the most popular way of starting a conversation is with the word ‘Hi’, every time I see it, I have to physically stop myself from replying with ‘ho, hi ho, it’s off internet dating we go’.Some people can even make it to two words, ‘Hi sexy’, how the hell do they know I am sexy, I don’t display a picture, I offer very little by way of a description and you will not find pictures of any bits of my booty on the world wide web…I hope, although there was this one time…..oh never mind.

When you first join there are several options you have to choose from when creating your online profile. I chose the option for Friendship but in the next set the only one available to me was “Not looking to date / Casual dating” or words to that effect. Gentlemen viewing my profile somehow managed to translate this to “Keep it simple boys and give us a buck at ye!”. You’ve read my blog, do I sound shy to you, if that’s what I wanted I certainly would not be signing up to a dating site now would I.

I was however talking to a chauffeur the other day, now he’s a grand fella, unlike the bicycle repair man who wanted to take me for a ‘ride’ and the Fireman who seemed to be rather keen to show me his hose.

Conversation was flowing and the craic was mighty and we were getting along famously when he decided it was time to show me a picture of his cock, and to be fair to him, it is rather impressive.

I in turn, liking his sense of humour thought it only fair that I show him one of my breasts.

chicken-breast-279848_640

Its early days but I might stick around for a while this time…there are so many more people I want to show my breasts too!

Knock Knock!

October 8, 2014 The Indecisive Eejit22 Comments

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There was this stupid game we used to play when we were younger, it was called Belfast Knock. I have no idea of it’s origins, or even if I am thinking of the right thing, but this was what it meant to us:

Run up to a random front door
Knock loudly
Run like f*ck!

It’s pretty easy right, and if you wanted to be very particular about the whole thing you could change the name to that of the town in which you reside. I quite like the way Cloud Nine Knock runs off my tongue.

I remember one Halloween playing Belfast Knock whether I wanted to or not, as a failed attempt at trick or treating at the local youth hostel saw us staring down the barrel of a shotgun with the Northern Ireland version of “Ger orf my land” being bellowed. My knees knocked, there is a fair chance I left skid marks and I never went Trick or Treating ever again!

Belfast Knock is the kind of game you play up until a certain age. Once you reach your peak, you’ll slide into one of the following categories:

“Oh lets play something else, I can’t be bothered to run anymore.”
“You want me to leave my games console??”
“Wise up, what feckin age are you anyway”

I can assure you, this story has a point, although not a very exciting one.

There are times when the working day can seem quite long. I’d been looking at spreadsheets all afternoon and my eyes were starting to turn in and blend all the boxes into a foreign language that no one on this planet was ever going to understand. Deciding to stretch my legs I delivered some post and on the way back decided to play Belfast Knock on the door of my work mates office. His doorway is the first inside a corridor, and to get to it you have to go through a door frame.

I faced the door and prepared to knock. There were no signs of life inside, but still I rapped on the door with all my might. I stood for a minute or too thinking there was no one inside and then heard footsteps, panicked and thought, right, this is the run part, so I turned and ran straight into the other doorway almost knocking myself out in the process.

When my colleague opened the door he was a little bemused to see me standing there rubbing my arm babbling about playing Belfast Knock, and who can blame him. Next time I decide to re visit stupid games from my childhood I’m just going to slap myself and cut out all the crap in the middle!

What games did you like as a kid?

Cosmic Musicology Test – Comin at ya early!

October 5, 2014 The Indecisive Eejit13 Comments

Woo hoo, it’s all very exciting, the Cosmic Captain himself, Steve from Steve Says, is for one week only letting me host his brilliant quiz the Cosmic Musicology Test. Why, I hear you ask yourselves, well because he ~~can’t be bothered~~ thinks I am brilliant is the answer. He’s set the bar high, I have to prove my worth and meet targets, so you’re more than welcome to join in any week, but especially this week to prove to him I am worth my shot in the spot light.

For anyone who has not played the challenge before, here is a refresher of the instructions:

For each test the host will post 3 new questions so…

(1) Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle
(2) Say the questions aloud and press play
(3) Use the song title as your answers
(4) NO CHEATING

Title your post “Cosmic Musicology Test:…” and link back to that week’s page.

Post your response in the comment section of that week’s page.

Any suggestions for future questions welcomed! Just make sure you leave them on Steve’s page, not this one.

Take a look at all the previous weeks in the Archives or by clicking “Cosmic Musicology” in the category cloud on Steve’s page.

If you’d like to host one in the future, get in tough with Steve and beg, he’ll give in eventually :)

On to this weeks questions and my answers:

1. I think I am? – Team by Lorde – I do think I am a team, especially here. It’s like a family and I would have nothing if it were not for my followers, many of whom have become friends. Team Eejit, I like that, you in?

2. You think I am? – Freedom by the Housemartins – Do you think I’m freedom from the housework and the chores, from the nagging voice of your boss, from the laundry and anything else that ties you up. Am I 5 minutes of putting your feet up and reading a load of oul tripe? If I am, that’s fine by me :)

3. We should be? – Ticks & Leeches by Tool – Ah ffs, there is always one isn’t there. Hmmm ok, we’re ticks because for some people we tick all the right boxes and for others not so many. Do what you do, you will never please everyone. We’re leeches because every day we learn and suck in the knowledge of our friends and fellow bloggers and you know what, that’s fine, as long as it makes us more Ticks than Leeches!

Go on, give the quiz a try, you know you want to!!

Some days…

October 2, 2014February 25, 2015 May Dupp12 Comments

Sometimes

Hormones, yes, lets talk about hormones. For those not in the know, they are the thing that women seem to have in abundance, but men, by their own admission have very few of, although we women would beg to differ.

Hormones are like a light switch, flipping you effortlessly between wanting to murder anyone within a 10 ft radius and wanting to cry your eyes out at pretty much anything, including adverts for toilet cleaner, wtf!?

Hormones also make us eat, forget Mr Will Power, he has no chance when going head to head with Mr Hor Mone, who pretty much trumps any one at any thing.

Thankfully I have a few years years yet before the lady hormones invade my body and seek world domination, that said, I am already prone to crying at random adverts, which can be pretty embarrassing when they are on billboards in the middle of a busy street. Worse still when you read on and realise that when they were telling her to ‘Be free’ and ‘be light’ they were talking about a fecking sanitary towel. Oh the shame!

My office however is a hive of hormonal activity, that would be a dream for any starter HRT company looking for guinea pigs. In my pod of 4 alone, there are two who are clutching with just fingernails to the brink and two (of which I am one) who are hanging on with everything they have got to the notion that they are still in their twenties.

There are very few men in our office workspace, which is probably just as well, because they would be eaten alive on any given day that ends with a Y! The few that there are tend to travel in packs and seem to have extremely good hormonometers that tell them when to steer clear. They have learnt the hard way that asking the question “Ooo is it your time of the month?” is just about the stupidest fecking question you can ask a woman who has just thrown her faulty stapler against the wall in ~~a fit of temper~~ an attempt to make it work, and no before you ask, that was NOT me!

So to summarize, hormones are sneaky rotten little feckers…beware!

Greetings Stranger…..

September 8, 2014January 5, 2015 May Dupp5 Comments

You’re sitting at a café when a stranger approaches you. This person asks what your name is, and, for some reason, you reply. The stranger nods, “I’ve been looking for you.” What happens next?

Well that’s a no brainer, I’d be up the street as fast as my fake Louis Buttons could carry me. In my experience a stranger, who knows you by name and who just happens to be in the same cafe, is not going to be after anything good.

Now don’t get me wrong I know he’s not Dr Death or anything, I mean come on, everyone knows that geezer wears a big black cape, but still, it’s not going to end well.

Stranger: Are you the Indecisive Eejit?

Me: No!

Stranger: You are her, you look just like her avatar thing.

Me: Look pal I have no idea who you are, but I am May Dupp.

Stranger: I know, made up by The Indecisive Eejit.

Me: I don’t know what you mean and besides, I look nothing like her avatar, according to that guy Rob she’s all oogly boogly and shit.

Stranger: So you do know her!

Me: Ye…nope!

Stranger: You sound a little unsure.

Me: Totally sure. As sure as a big sure thing schooled at the school of sureness.

Stranger: 50/50…phone a friend….

Me: Listen here sunshine is there some part of no you’re not understanding.

Stranger: I understand perfectly Miss Dupp. Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes.

Me: It won’t work………

Stranger: and that long silky blond hair, it’s just beautiful.

Me: Really, you thi………..it won’t work. What do you want anyway?

Stranger: I was looking for your May Dupp.

Me: So why did you ask if I was the Indecisve Eejit?

Stranger: The girl at the counter said it would wind you up, she said you’re not good with your fate being in someone else’s hands.

Me: She’s right, so are you going to tell me who you are?

Stranger: I’m a tarot card reader.

Me: Ah feck aff, that’s 20 minutes of my life I’m never going to get back!

Inspired by todays Daily Prompt!

Who knew!

August 23, 2014January 5, 2015 May Dupp5 Comments

So it appears I have been approaching this blogging malarkey in completely the wrong way. My lack of posts while not really causing me any great concern, has been a niggle at the back of my mind.

I was chatting to Big Bertha from work about it the other day whilst having a cup of tea and a soggy jammy dodger. It took a while for it to sink in with her what I was actually referring to as for the first 15 minutes of the conversation she though I was telling her I was boggin. For those of you who have no idea what this actually means, wonder no more:

Boggin

putrid; grotesquely ugly or disturbing; vile smelling

You can understand, can you not, why I was a little bit annoyed at her believing I would ever refer to myself like this. I may not be perfection, but I spend a lot of money at the beauticians to ensure I am far from boggin..ffs! You will just have to believe me when I tell you there is not a spiders leg in sight!!

I happened to mention to Bertha about my lack of posts and she asked how often I do write, to which I replied only when something momentous happens. It was then that I started to think about it and realised that if I sit around waiting for something momentous to happen then I may in fact never write again. In the grand scheme of momentous, my life is a little more mmmm and most certainly lacking in entous!

Bertha said I can write about whatever I want, whenever I want, stressing that there was bound to be some eejit on the world wide wotsit who would be willing to listen. I never thought of it that way before, that I could write about the normal day to day, I thought I had to wait for the days when I was exceptionally fabulous!

Who knew eh!

Cartoon Craziness Challenge – Week 5

August 4, 2014 The Indecisive Eejit19 Comments

I almost forgot what week we were on there, I mean come on, it’s been over a month already….feels like only yesterday!

Last week finished on a high, Rob finally managed to put in his Superhero Entry which was pretty awesome, and also managed to tag in an entry to this weeks as well! We even managed to get Jed on board, so adding him to all the other adorable eejits who played the week before it was all in all a great week for the theme Kids and Pets. I will add a list to all of last weeks entries at the bottom of this post, they are well worth a look!

This weeks theme is….drum roll……”Happiness” as suggested by the lovely Somber Scribbler. What makes you happy, or what does happiness look like to you? It could be something as simple as your favourite food, where this week is concerned you pretty much have a blank canvas. I’m kinda half expecting a picture drawn in nail polish….you know who you are!

We’re open to suggestions for theme ideas if you have any, so please feel free to let us know via any of the usual channels….although perhaps not carrier pigeon, we have found them to be flighty and unreliable in the past!

As always you have until Sunday to complete this challenge. For more information check out the Cartoon Craziness Challenge page from the links at the top of my blog. There, if you would like to check back periodically is where you will also find a list of the current entries for the week.

Happy drawing eejits, Mama and I cannot wait to see your endeavors :)

Last Weeks Awesome Entries

Complete pet craziness – Cartoon style! | JED’s Playhouse

Cartoon Craziness challenge – My Kids | trying to make things right

Cartoon Craziness Challenge – A girl and her pet | Green Embers

Several Sides of Smooshy | Somber Scribbler

CCC.4: Pets | Dean’z Doodlez

Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #118 — 7/31/14 | Evil Squirrel’s Nest

SCARY CAT: Cartoon Craziness Challenge | Container Chronicles

A Tale of Two Creatures | Not a Punk Rocker

Cartoon Craziness Challenge: Kids and Pets — Klag’s School Picture | Rob’s Surf Report

Cartoon Craziness Challenge – Kids and Pets | The Indecisive Eejit

Mental Mama | Just under the wire

If you do not see your name listed and you submitted a Cartoon, please let me know and I will add you to the list. It would appear your ping pissed off!