Category: Life in General!

Keeping you in the loop!

The Indecisive Eejit42 Comments

 

It looks like there will be no more breaking wind! Well not with the right hair colour anyway, it would seem that Bitstrips on Facebook is no more.

I am devastated, I loved using their little cartoons to brighten up my blog. You’ll have to bear with me until I get used to the newer version which is only available on the phone, Breaking news is most likely to become ‘Guess What’

I perhaps do not look as deathly pale in the newer one as I did in the old, although I still look a bit gormless which is good.

Gormless (British Informal) – Lacking sense or initiative; foolish

Kinda fits right!?

So what’s been happening I hear you ask, well actually quite a lot and then again not a lot at the same time. It’s been busy, but my days have been filled with work and then all the other crap at home, there has been little time for either blogging or merry making.

This past weekend was a tough one emotionally, two mornings in a row I was woken up before even the birds had given their first chirp with Mothership issues. We got them sorted, but being yanked out of sleep like that has a knock on effect for the whole day. I tend to regress into myself when things like that happen, a side effect of the anxiety perhaps. No matter how calmly or cleverly we deal with the situation, the guilt always comes knocking, even after everything has calmed down.

I was thinking a lot about my blog over the weekend too, seems to be that thinking is all I do at the minute because I am getting very little time to write. I’m not sure how I keep writing for what I effectively want to be known as a ‘Humour’ blog when all I actually want to do most nights is either bang my head repeatedly against a wall or hide under the duvet. So if things seem a little up and down at the minute it’s because I am currently teetering in the middle of a see-saw trying to find the correct balance between everything and trying not to lose either myself or my sense of humour in the process. It’s not feckin easy sometimes.

For those of you who are wondering, the tooth removal went ok thank you very much, despite the fact it took three injections before there was any numbness. I like my Dentist, she seemed to just go with the flow as I sat in the chair and rambled on…and on….and on. Scale and polish done and dusted and it was time for the grand finale. Through half closed eyes I saw her advance towards me with a pair of what looked suspiciously like BBQ tongs, at that point I shut my eyes completely. After a bit of hauling and twisting she tells her assistant she will need a bigger pair and I’m thinking I need a bigger pair too…of pants, cos I’m a fart away from filling the ones I am wearing, I’m that scared.

A few more hauls, yanks and twists and turns and out comes the tooth. I was a little disappointed there was no audible pop, just a ripping noise….*shudders* I asked the assistant if I could take the tooth home, she looked a little curious as to why I might want to do this, so I told her I was going to smash it with a hammer. Seemed kinda therapeutic to me considering that it was anxiety that caused me to lose the tooth in the fist place. In the end I didn’t do anything other than toss it in the trash. I’ve a huge hole…oo er mrs!!

I’m sure I probably had more to tell you, but to be honest I’ve run out of steam and it’s time to go and feed the Ships.

Hope everything is fine and dandy with the rest of you. Be sure to let me know about any REALLY exciting things in the comments.

Till next time eejits!

 

Listening…

The Indecisive Eejit28 Comments

For me, music is a little like blogging, I forget how much I miss it until I start to participate again.

I don’t have a soundtrack for my life, just a selection of random tunes, some of which have meaning and others which don’t.

I adore the feelings that music can invoke, and the fact that technology has moved on sufficiently enough that we can carry a whole library in our pockets, something for every minute of every day should we desire.

I’ve been listening to my various play lists in Spotify on the journeys home. I find myself getting lost in the music, for a short time imagining I am somewhere else. Easing myself over the bridge between work and home.

This morning I didn’t notice the crowds around me as I completed my usual train change, only the sunshine and the warmth upon my face as I was serenaded every step I took.

The problem is the moment I hit work or home the music stops and there is only silence, which can sometimes be deafening.

I wish that there could be music all the time, automatically selected to suit either your mood or the situation you find yourself in. Now that would be an awesome playlist.

For now I’ll just keep listening and tapping out my post, enjoying the calm before the storm.

~

This post also applies to the Daily Prompt – Music

It’s going to be one of those days…

The Indecisive Eejit

 

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No matter how tired I am this weather I can never seem to get enough sleep. Granted, part of that is my own fault, I’m a bit of a night owl, but when I have the opportunity to sleep a little longer in the mornings it never happens and it’s extremely frustrating!

So here I sit with a banging headache, the next door neighbours dog is having a noisy showdown with the cockerel, as in one is chasing the shadows of birds and the other is trying to call for them. There is housework to be done and people to be fed and I just can’t be arsed doing any of it, no point in sugar coating how I feel, lack of sleep clearly makes me a cow.

I’ve missed not writing and reading blogs, but there has just been no time. It’s something I am going to have to rectify, because honestly, sometimes in the middle of everything that goes on I think it is the only thing that keeps me sane.

This last couple of weeks have been challenging, and it’s a stark reminder that things are going to get worse instead of better. Don’t get me wrong, the Fathership and I face each situation we come across, usually successfully, but it’s mentally and physically draining sometimes. It would be nice to think that in the midst of everything life would stop and give you a break when the shit hits the fan, but it doesn’t, so you have to deal with all these things whilst dealing with life too, which can be complicated enough on its own sometimes.

I’m sick of trying to explain to people what it’s like, or make excuses for the way I live my life or do things the way I do. I appreciate that most people mean well when they say, you just have to get up and do it (when referring to going out), but real life just doesn’t work that way and perhaps if they walked a couple of weeks in my shoes they would realise that. I mean would you get up and leave a two year old child and go to dinner without putting any preparation in place, because that’s what dealing with someone with dementia is like. Any deviations from the normal routine or changes to schedules can have disastrous effects and invoke meltdowns of epic proportions. Sometimes you have to weigh up the pros and cons and ask yourself is it worth having one night of fun to endure 6 nights of torture. When you’re already at the end of your rope and trying to hang on, then answer to that is no.

I’ve wanted to write so many times over these past couple of weeks, but on the rare chances I had to sit down I had nothing to say, because all of this was rattling around in my head and I couldn’t figure out if here was the platform for it, this is after all meant to be a humour blog. Although I suppose I do try to put my usual slight comedic spin on things. Both the Fathership and I agree on one thing, if we didn’t laugh we’d cry.

I suppose in the end, the conclusion I came to was this, it’s my blog, I can write what I want, and it is definitely better writing about these things to get them off my chest rather than keeping them bottled up. I have however (if I can figure it out) turned off the comments on this post. I don’t want sympathy, that’s not why I write, there are people in the world dealing with much worse things. I just need to expel my ramblings into the ether.

Trust me, it’s good to talk – even if it is just to yourself!

Love you all :)

 

 

Why did I ever……….

The Indecisive Eejit43 Comments

….think it was a good idea to take a week off work! Seriously, WHY!

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While not this overjoyed at the prospect of a week away from my desk, I was a little excited all the same. I’d put in a lot of hours and they were all mounting up so I felt it was time, well that and I have to fit leave around everyone else’s schedules too.

I had plans, catch up on jobs I had to do for other people and also on things I needed to do around the blog. I factored time in for some writing also, perhaps some gaming and a little relaxation. Guess what? It’s already Thursday and very little of that has actually happened, in fact this is turning out to be the week from hell!

There have been tears, tantrums, toilet disasters (not mine thank you very much!) and basically a whole heap of running around doing things for other people. In fact Tuesday was pretty much the only day or normality where I got to visit friends and stroke a few things off the list.

I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps the Fathership had a clever plan in making appointments for this week, although I am sure he would deny it. Today however, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, one of my teeth broke, I have to say my eyes leaked in despair, I was at the end of my tether!

I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow, which I dread for two reasons, fear of the dentist and fear of the cost of the dentist. I will openly admit I am a big ginny ann with regards to all things dental. I did however know this day was coming, it was only a matter of time before my back tooth caved in, too many years of clenching due to anxiety. Why I couldn’t just have been like everyone else and used the butt cheeks instead, I’ll never know.

Tomorrow will be Friday, so along with the anxiety of having to attend the dentist, the fact that I have to return to work on Monday will also start to prey on my mind too, seriously brain, give a girl a break would you!

If you have any going spare I would be grateful if you could send a few lucky vibes my way, I have a feeling I am going to need them!

Magpies!

The Indecisive Eejit25 Comments

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I wouldn’t have said I was a superstitious person. I knew the rhyme about magpies, well bits of it anyway. One for Sorrow, two for  Joy, three for a Girl and four for a Boy. There is more, but I have to be honest and say that this is where my knowledge surrounding the rhyme ends. Here it is in it’s entirety, thank you Google:

One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.

There are other various versions but this one suits my purpose just fine.

I remember hearing other things as a child (funny how the scary stories seem to stick) that magpies were bullies, ate other birds eggs and stole silver / shiny things from your house if you let them have access. I have no idea how much of that is myth and how much is fact, but now I am older it no longer seems as scary.

The superstition comes from the rhyme as it would lead you to believe that seeing a single Magpie is bad luck. However calling a greeting to the Magpie is supposed to reverse this / cancel out the bad luck.

One Saturday I was washing the dishes and looking out the window at the bird table and there perched on it was a large magpie that seemed to be staring straight at me waiting. So I started back and eventually it flew off to who knows where. It came back a short while later, same thing. I can’t remember if the Rhyme even crossed my mind, because up until that point I don’t believe I’d ever uttered it. although I was aware of it.

Later on that night while I was at work I heard my Mum had been in a car accident. For some reason the Magpie came back into my head.  That night I became Magpie suspicious…..errrm I mean superstitious

I’m concious of the fact that I look like an Eejit when I am saluting a Magpie and reciting “Good Morning Mr Magpie, how’s your family”, I mean lets face it I have no idea whether said Magpie is male or female and I could in fact be insulting it. But I now say it, after I have scanned in the vain hope of finding a second one.

One day while standing at the train station I glanced up to see a Magpie in a nearby tree staring my direction. I checked to make sure no one was watching, saluted and mouthed the greeting and what do you know, the Magpie flew away. I then started thinking back and can remember other times when this happened too……makes you think!

Out of interest I then decided to search superstition and came up with some of the common ones, from this neck of the woods anyway. It now appears I am a little more superstitious than I thought as I frequently touch wood, hate an umbrella being put up in a house, have palpitations if I drop a mirror, never put new shoes on a table and try to avoid walking under a ladder!

Wikipedia states “Superstition is a pejorative term for belief in supernatural causality: that one event leads to the cause of another without any physical process linking the two events, such as astrology, omens, witchcraft, etc., that contradicts natural science.”

So perhaps I am superstitious because generally my cup is half empty as opposed to half full! Or it could all just be a load of shite!

I think I’ll keep saying my wee rhyme just in case!

References

Thank you to Twins72-Stocks for the Magpie Image.

Wikepedia on Superstition

 (Originally written in 2003 but re-jigged and reposted for the Daily Prompt – Superstition)

I am three!

The Indecisive Eejit86 Comments

It’s true, I am three, well not me, my blog, but you knew that anyway right!?

On each of my previous birthdays, namely my first and second I commented on how amazed I was that I had made it this far and yet here I am still, that is remarkable indeed, because in the grand scheme of things I usually give up on things that I consider to be a fad, and back in the early days I foolishly thought that was what this was. How wrong was I.

In the course of three years I have amassed 1004 followers, most of whom I hope are real, written 465 posts which have been viewed 34, 428 times and there have been over 18, 000 visitors who have commented over 8000 times. Not bad for a lass from the back of beyond with pretty much nothing between her ears. Clearly you people don’t get out enough.

Just this week during a conversation someone asked me what my blog was about, I gave that some thought, in fact I gave it quite a lot of thought and still could not come up with an answer. I don’t believe there is one thing that defines my little place here, but I hope if there is, it’s laughter. Even in the midst of all the crap that goes on around me I try to laugh, because honestly if I didn’t I’d cry.

Even though I don’t have the same amount of time now that I did when I first started the blog, it remains something I want to try and keep making time for. I feel truly blessed because I have gained so many things, new friends, who I believe will be friends for a life, a larger and more diverse music collection, people who understand just how difficult life can be sometimes and forgive you when you’re not around. There’s also Steve’s radio show which has fast become the highlight of my Saturday night. It’s all the small things that help me make it through.

Sometimes I think about giving up, because words fail me. I want to write, but on certain days there is just nothing to say. On those days I read and I remember that if I were not here I would no longer be part of this community that I have grown to love and consider myself very fortunate to be a part of.

When I was two I finished my post on the following line, and as it is still apt today I want to use it again. Simply put it was a comment on the the fact that I am still here is nothing to do with me, but everything to do with you, my lovely eejits, I would be lost without you all!

My week summed up!

The Indecisive Eejit44 Comments

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Full of problems that were just to difficult for my poor little brain to solve.

Uncontrollable emotions – by Friday I lost my shit and had a mini meltdown.

Celebrating the fact that it was the weekend only to wake up on Saturday at 5.30am and feel like shit that just slid off a shovel.

Kicking ass in work on Friday night for the 2 hours it took to wait for the next train to arrive after I missed the first one. Cleaner inbox = slight smile on face, until I go back on Monday and it’s just as bad as ever.

Superior people who tell you to let them finish while not letting you get your point across at all!

Assholes – see above.

Keeping myself from slamming down the phone and walking out, which believe me was what I really wanted to do. Previous 2 points refer.

Exciting – The thought of going back to work on Monday and yes, that is sarcasm!

Look carefully – can you crack the code :)

 

 

What’s Up-date

The Indecisive Eejit31 Comments

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Apparently time also flies when you’re not having fun too!

This last two weeks in work have been unbelievably stressful. I really need a day off, but two courses and a new boss next week mean it’s not going to happen. I’m actually worn out, despite the fact that after purchasing new pillows I’m sleeping slightly better.

That said, there are good things about being so busy. I’m hardly smoking these days mainly because I never leave my desk. I can’t tell you if I feel any better for it, but I know that when I reach a certain time scale withdrawal rage kicks in. The second thing is time, it flies.

I’m putting in 9 hour days, but they pass in the blink of an eye, sadly the mountain of post it notes is threatening to consume me if I don’t manage to make my way through them. I used to be quite organised… before I started this job. I need to get back to that and start using my to do book again, I can’t be arsed with the 20 million paper scraps!

It’s looking highly likely that this will be another weekend of working, that stresses me out too because I have jobs to do for both myself and other people, but there are just not enough hours in the day. Thankfully I have Steve’s radio show to look forward to on Saturday night.

I finally started playing Tomb Raider and I’m enjoying it immensely. I’ve had it since Christmas but just haven’t had the time to play. The only downfall is it’s giving me motion sickness which means I can only play for 30 – 60 minutes in one go. That’s ok though, because I usually only have that amount of time spare between getting everything done and going to bed anyway.

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Thanks to all my new followers, you’re all more than welcome. I have a new goal, I’d like to reach a thousand before 2020, I’m keeping a realistic time scale here, I don’t need any additional stress, or disappointment for that matter :)

Well that’s about it for today, my train journey is almost over meaning it’s time for job number two, management of the Ships.

Enjoy your day and till next time eejits :)

What’s sleep?

The Indecisive Eejit47 Comments

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I’m tired. So tired in fact that if the Mothership asks me what the trousers I have left out are for one more time, I might possibly use them to strangle her. Not her fault I know, but she is part of the reason why I am so tired.

I resolved the weekend before last that it would be the final one I worked, but somehow I still found myself in on Saturday. I’m doing 9 hour days and throwing an extra one in at the weekend too and it’s not making a dent on the mountain of things that need done. I really wish I was the kind of person who could just say ‘fuck it’ and dander off.

I’m not sleeping either and that sucks. It’s like I have this little voice in my head going ‘hey you, yes you, it’s been an hour since you last looked at the clock……WAKE UP!’ and damn it I comply. When I do finally manage to fall over to sleep one of two things happen, either the alarm goes off and it’s time to get up for work, or the Mothership wakes me with her screaming at the Fathership. She can never understand why I bark like a dog whose just been stung like a bee, but ffs I just woke up thinking someone’s being murdered, not having their bloody hands washed.

Go to work. Drink coffee. Work……really need a power nap, but there’s no time…..work.

By the time I travel home, stand on trains, stand while waiting for trains, stand while making the dinner and doing the dishes my poor knees feel like they can no longer hold my weight and I can’t wait to collapse into a chair, and then I remember I need to leave out the tablets for tomorrow, wash spuds for tomorrow nights dinner and put on a load of washing, because lets face it if the Motherships ration of knickers falls below 15 you would think the world was going to end.

Back up the stairs, clothes laid out for work, and then a quick shower and  finally I get to sit down, god bless my recliner. The feeling of my feet being lifted off the floor is almost orgasmic and as I settle back to enjoy my 15 minutes of freedom I hear the pitter patter of tiny feet up the corridor.

FUCK!! is what I think, but I don’t voice it, I surprise myself sometimes with how calm I am. There’s no privacy in this house. I’m trying to write a post, maybe read a blog.

Then proceeds a 15 minute to and fro about which nightdress she will wear. When that’s settled, there will be perhaps another 5 trips into my room to confirm the decision that we made not five minutes before.

I don’t attempt to sit down again, there is no point. I just stand and wait.

10 minutes later there is the pitter patter of feet up the corridor once again and it’s time to do the teeth. It’ll take a good five minutes to convince her to give me the gnashers in the first place. Then I have to brush the ones that still remain in place, before confirming at least 10 times that the others are safe in the cup for the night and will be there in the morning.

Finally she goes to put the nightdress on. This whole process from start to finish can take about an hour, and meanwhile time is ticking away and my dreams of an early night are shattered.

I used to hate getting into bed before 12.30 am, it felt like such a waste of a night, now I love my bed, I can’t wait to crawl into it. My legs love me when I lie down.

I was so tired…………..but now I’m wide awake.

FUCK!!

Dementia…..if you didn’t laugh you’d cry!