Category: Life in General!

Feeling Sarcastic for Summer!

The Indecisive Eejit30 Comments

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It’s probably not the warmest day ever, but seriously, it feels like it is! I am melting and by 3 o’clock this afternoon there is a very strong possibility I will have been reduced to nothing more than a puddle on the floor! If there is one thing I don’t do very well, it’s sunshine!

I’m the person that comes to work everyday with a coat,  as with our weather and the fact that I travel by public transport, you have to be prepared for every eventuality. In the old days on the train the heating used to be on 24/7 in the summer, but not in the winter. There were no windows to open, so it was like crowding a hundred people into a cardboard box and setting them beside a radiator. Thankfully these days the new trains have air conditioning, meaning conditions are a little more comfortable.

Warm weather isn’t really conducive to working either. I am sure that my employers would be reluctant to pay me for lying in a heap on the floor, suffering from the effects of heat exhaustion. The new office motto would fast become ‘Keep er cool and Keep er lit!’.

The worst thing about warm weather, without a doubt, would have to be heat rash! For the months between June to September, and sometimes longer I am speckled on certain parts of my body with little red dots, usually from hand to elbow and ankle to knee. It makes me feel a little self conscious about wearing anything with a shorter leg, imagine if someone were to sit down, pull out a pen and start to join the dots, would certainly save me ever having to get a tattoo, although I doubt it would be as artistic.

Hay fever is another one, although I appear to be blessed with it all year round. I am luckier than some however, as I don’t yet seem to suffer from the streaming eyes and runny nose. For me it’s nausea, itching eyes and a feeling like someone syringed cotton wool into my ears during the night, effectively filling my head full of fuzz. I never had hay fever until I was in my 30’s. They say that your blood changes every 7years, some ailments go or change, and some new ones appear. I’m hoping that one of these days the hay fever leaves as quickly as it arrived.

Apart from all that, isn’t summer a glorious time of the year. The long days, birds singing, the smell of fresh cut grass in the air, sand between your toes and the smell of the sea as the nights turn cooler.

Schools will finish soon, and no doubt there will be rain, there usually is when the kids finish for summer break, so instead of complaining perhaps I should suck it up and continue to make hay while the sun shines, so to speak! Assuming I don’t actually melt before then.

For those of you who liver in warmer climes, how the hell do you stick it!

Why I Blog…

The Indecisive Eejit39 Comments

Tim from the Hillybilly Blogger wrote yesterday about why he blogs, you can read his post HERE. It started me thinking and I foolishly told him that one day I would write a post about why I blog. He challenged me, and that’s a sure fire way to get me to do something.

Why I blog, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

I had a blog before, around 10 years ago. I remained anonymous and it was a place where I could record the thoughts that were rumbling around in my head, in an effort to try and make sense of them. I was going through a difficult time, lots of things had happened at once and my house of cards came crashing down around me. It was a relief when the Doctor diagnosed my chest pains as stress / depression and not a heart attack. That was the start of a mental healing process, part of which included writing on my blog.

It was popular enough, I had comments from people who were going through the same kind of things. I also had comments from others who told me to get a grip on myself. Those were not helpful, and only served to increase my anxiety. Did these people think I liked having depression, did they think it was a choice, because believe me, there are very few people who would choose to travel that path given the option.

I chose not to start on a course of anti depressants, but that, according to the Doctor was the next step. Over the next few months I walked for miles, thought, got angry, but eventually was lucky enough to be able to pull myself out of the pit I had fallen into. Others are not so lucky and still fight their demons on a daily basis, my heart goes out to them.

As my mental state started to shift, my need for the blog lessened, until eventually I made the decision to close it down completely. I wanted to start looking forward, instead of constantly looking back.

Fast forward 10 years and I am in a similar situation. Sustaining a leg injury and the 6 month process of healing took it’s tole on me. Mentally, although not as bad as the time before, I was fragile.

When I first started I had no expectations of what was going to happen. This time I wanted to write to cheer myself up, and if in the process I did that for others also, then that was a bonus. The constant nagging from one of my best friends Paul every 5 minutes didn’t help either, and in fact my very first post was written purely to shut him up and get him off my case. I wasn’t even sure after that if I would write any more.

I’ve told this before in many posts, so my apologies if you are having to read it again, call it old age, it makes me repeat myself.

I used to look at blogs that had a couple of hundred followers and loads of comments and think ‘I wish that was me’. Even though we ‘write for ourselves’, I think we all hope, just a little that we will gain followers and create something that people actually want to read and discuss. We are human after all.

Now that is me, I have followers and people who comment on a regular basis, and blogging has become so much more than I originally thought it could be. I like to think I have not forgotten anyone, there are people who have been with me from day one. I feel sad when someone leaves or takes a break, I feel guilty when I have not spoken to someone for a week and I feel pain when I read what some of my friends are going through.

We start out as bloggers, we write, we strive to amuse, we entertain and for the most part we lay ourselves bare on blank spaces for all the world to plunder. From that first keystroke on that first entry, unbeknown to us, we start a journey.  It’s a journey of discovery, not only of all that the world has to offer, but also of ourselves. I know I have changed, as has my writing style, but I hope it is a change for the better.

One day you will write a post and realise that you are there, that you have become the person that you strived to be at the start, with regards to your followers and comments. You will be thankful for all that you have been able to achieve, but you will also realise that it is no longer the most important thing.

When you sit down, cup of coffee in hand and look back, because someone has challenged you as to the reasons why you blog, you will realise it is because you have become part of a family. You will begin to appreciate the love that surrounds you, the support that is offered to you and help you receive. You will realise that it is these people, along with your family and friends who have provided light in the darkness and a reason to smile when you thought there was none.

That is the reason why I blog. I could never have made it through this last year on my own.

What about you?

Life is a rollercoaster!

The Indecisive Eejit24 Comments

It’s been a very stressful couple of days. It seems to be that nothing happens for ages and then all at once it starts to crowd in around me. We’re only 3 days into the week, assuming it starts on a Monday and already it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster!

My Mum attended hospital for her check up and they are finally going to try her on Alzheimer’s tablets and refer her to a Dementia Care Team. Although the tablets will not stop whatever is going on, there is a chance it might help her get back a little time. I think my poor Sister wanted to give the Doctor a good slap when she heard he had mentioned the note she put in regarding Mums symptoms, despite the fact that she had put in capital letters a request that he didn’t do so.

The great clean up still continues for the impending visit from the relatives. It’s a little bit daunting when I look into rooms and see that some have got worse rather than better, but I just have to plod on and hope that it all comes good in the end.

On top of that there is paperwork to be done for Dad and others and yesterday I was told that I have to start to shadow the lady who currently does the job I have been ear marked for.

Today I am having brain overload. I want to sidle into a corner and hide until everything has been taken care of. Imagine being able to go to sleep and wake up the next morning knowing everything you need to know without having to go through a learning process. If only!

We’ve also been having some freaky weather of late. Bearing in mind it is almost the start of the summer, the giant hailstones that rained down on us last night were a bit of a shock. My Dad and I were imprisoned in the car for a good 10 minutes while the rain, hailstones, thunder and lightening raged around us. Then it stopped and the sun came out like nothing had happened.

Well that resounding thumping on the door serves to prove that lunchtime is officially over and it’s time to get back to work. But hopefully that little vent has done me the world of good and no one else will loose their heads this afternoon.

Happy Hump Day Eejits, I think I am qualified to say that now that I actually know what it means.

Birth Anniversaries

The Indecisive Eejit75 Comments
Birthday2014
Julie was not amused that the candles had just singed her nose hair!

I’m not a big fan of birthdays, I mean why would I be, every year it’s just a reminder that I am getting older.

For years my folks used to forget the big day, not because they were evil, but because it was close to the date of their anniversary and therefore easy to mix up. My sister though never forgot and always made up for it. As you get older the novelty wears off and it becomes like any other day. My friend was horrified that I said I was going to be doing housework on the night of my birthday, but it’s just like a normal day for me. Despite having offers of having a ‘carry-out’ tea I opted to stay home and cook, I’d already been out once this week and had a chippy lunch, so I fancied something simple and quick.

I don’t like fuss, it makes me feel uncomfortable, run in, wish me Happy Birthday and run out, that’s the best kind of greeting there is. The Tinsel Twit has been teasing me all week about having a party and I have to say I was starting to sweat a little. Worse than that though was the fact that she told everyone who came into the office it was my 50th, and not one person was nice enough to question her. Clearly I need to spend some of my birthday money on anti wrinkle cream!

I went in this morning to banners and balloons and it made me smile, because I realised that was why my co worker had been so keen for me to leave the night before. Once everyone had arrived I received a goody bag which contained stationary (swoon), age resistant moisturiser (fair enough) and a gift voucher. There was also a mini slinky, a little skateboard and a stress baseball. My colleagues know me so well.

Just when I though the day could not get any better, one of my other colleagues asked if I wanted to go for a ‘scoot’ which over here means a drive in the car. I was a little perturbed as my chips (fries) had been ordered and were on their way from shop to my greedy and open gob. My colleague however was very insistent saying he was not going to ask again, and then the penny dropped, and I clapped like a seal, bouncing up and down while repeating ‘You brought your convertible didn’t you’. I’ve never been in a car with no roof before and it’s been on my wish / bucket list for a while, so you can imagine I was as happy as a bee. The wind whipping though my hair, a big smile on my face and flies stuck between my teeth, well come on, this is real life, nothing is ever perfect.

Home time comes and after the tea has been made for ‘The ships’ and the floors mopped it’s up the stairs to yet another voucher from Monkey and a couple of goody boxes from Lee.

Little geek cup
I can drink tea while admiring my ‘oogly boogly’ face as Rob calls it!

I’m in love with the cup with my website name on it and also the little key ring. He’d got me one before when the site was called The Geeky G4mer and I had considered getting myself a new one, now I don’t have too. Udders also got me a Starbucks mug for my collection, so I will be spending the weekend sipping in style.

All in all as birthday’s go, this has been a good one, so no complaints here. My intention would be to finish the night with some GTA with Nugs, assuming he has not fallen asleep in front of his TV.

Happy Friday one and all, as it’s my birthday I request that you hug  stranger in celebration of the fact, however should they look in anyway dangerous, just move on and hug a lamp post or a tree!

Clean Sweep!

The Indecisive Eejit25 Comments

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What a weekend! I feel like I have been away for weeks, but in reality it was only a couple of days, but it was a couple of days without reading blogs, writing on blogs, or in fact getting a sniff of any blogs. I am having blog withdrawal symptoms, and that’s the reason why I carried my laptop into work and am currently blogging on my lunch hour.

I got lost at the weekend. I’m a little bit lost all the time, but this time I mean I actually got physically lost, in the spare room, which over the last 5 years my mother has been using as a dumping ground.

I remember having to do this once before. The year was 2007 and also the one of my Sisters wedding, I went in like a whirlwind, tooled up with rubber gloves, tongs, black bin liners and a flare, just in case I needed to call for assistance. I got everything shipshape and begged my Mum not to ever let it get into that state again.

Fast forward 7 years, we have visitors coming and it’s back to square one, in fact I think it’s worse. It looks like the carnage I leave behind when I miss throw a grenade and blow my car to bits in GTA. After 1 hour I was able to see a little bit of floor, after 2 and a half hours I realised there was a bed in the room, who knew.

It’s amazing the stuff we amass over the years, and the stuff we actually hold onto. I had to be ruthless, while at the same time not throwing out anything of sentimental value. There were plastic bags of plastic bags, other plastic bags with junk and rubbish in them, old magazines, books that I am sure were never read and newspapers from 2009. I threw out 6 black bags full to the gills with absolute shite. You can imagine I was less than happy when the arse burst clean out of at least two of them and I had to pick the stuff up all over again!

I hurt, oh boy did I hurt, my leg a reminder that I am not fit for standing long periods at a time any more. But when I looked at my handiwork, although not yet finished, I felt good. My fear now though is that when she starts to clean the room downstairs, the junk it contains will be carried up into the room I have just cleaned. The reality is it will probably end up being me who cleans it was well, oh the joy!

There is something good to come out of all this though, I think I am turning into a minimalist, it’s just a shame the Mothership does not share my values.

Say a little prayer for me that the ‘Tidyness Angels’ protect my handiwork Smile

Did you mean to click follow?

The Indecisive Eejit47 Comments
Eejits Rule
Ah the power of the Brussel Sprout!

I have almost 500 followers, that’s pretty awesome, thank you to each and every one of you, even those who follow everybody, you’re still welcome.

When I first started blogging, was still at the stage of silently reading posts, and didn’t know any better I used to look at blogs who had that amount of followers and think, WOW they must be awesome. To be fair, most of them were, but they appeared to stick to their own circle of friends, not bothering with outsiders.

I now have 500 followers, and while I am no where near awesome (I am so much better at being a f*ck up lol), I have the best bunch of mad crazy fools anyone could ask for. I only wish that I had not spent so much of my early blogging days fawning over those I perceived to be blogging gods.

At the end of the day, we are all the same, human beings living our lives as best we can, we just choose to write about it. A blog starts with a name, empty pages, and a head full of ideas. Along the way an audience builds, friendships are formed and before we know it figures and stats don’t matter so much anymore, it’s all about the community and interaction.

I miss posts, I know I do, and I’m sorry, but my reader only loads 20 at a time, usually the newest ones, missing out some in the middle. I try to go back, but it’s not always possible. Following by e-mail has helped, but I follow so many it’s hard to do them all this way. Forgive me if I don’t get along to thank you personally for following me, but if I like what I read, you’ll no doubt hear from me at some stage.

Don’t be like me in the early days, don’t read silently. Never be afraid to comment on my blog, because that’s what makes it all worthwhile.

Looking back the best advice I can give you is, be true to yourself and don’t give up, good things come to those who wait.

Good people certainly found me :)

I miss mornings!

The Indecisive Eejit36 Comments

Anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact that I am not a morning person. In order for me to make it out in time, preferably fully dressed, I need to have my clothes laid out the night before, bag packed and lunch chilling in the fridge.

This morning though I was up and out earlier. The Father ship had to go to the Doctors so I went with him and decided to walk to the train station, good exercise for alien legs thinks I.

It’s been such a long time since I’ve been down town before the hustle and bustle of the working day has started. I realised I missed walking the empty streets, the air cleaner because it has not yet been tainted with everyday fumes.

Delivery drivers jostling for prime position in front of the shops which are open, but not yet for business. The shop assistants looking a little aghast at the size of the workload being set before them on the footpath.

The smell of fresh bread and brewing coffee permeates the air, cafes opening their doors and preparing their wares, waiting for the world to wake up and make an appearance.

Men with dogs and papers under their arms head home, oblivious to the surroundings, while others rush to work, lost in thoughts of the day to come.

I want to sit down on a bench and watch the world unfold around me, but sadly I have a train to catch and life moves on as usual.

Smiling despite it all…

The Indecisive Eejit20 Comments

dog smiling

Writing my post last night, and all the funny comments that followed really made my night. I went to bed with a smile on my face, the first in a long time.

It reminded me how I used to be, I felt a spark of my old self.

I wish you had all known me before my accident and the birth of Alien leg. In essence I was, and always will be the same person, but I was a little more carefree and a lot more fun.

There have been a lot of changes over the last couple of years, and the stresses of everyday life sometimes takes it’s toal. Both physically and mentally I am no longer the same person. I’ve had to grow up, while learning to adjust to my hopefully temporary disability.

There are some things I will always be stuck with, like anxiety and worry, they are now ingrained in me, perhaps they always were, because looking back I cannot remember a time when I did not worry. That said, these days I seem more able to put things into perspective and employ coping mechanisms. There are other more important things to deal with.

Home life has been the biggest change, even since the time of starting this blog. It is also the main reason why sometimes I do not blog. We have to approach life one day at a time, as the mood of the Mothership determines the mood of everyone else in the household. Sometimes I am mentally drained and incapable of sensible thought never mind writing.

Someday I will write about these things, I need to, it’s not healthy to keep it bottled up, but for now it is not something I feel comfortable doing, even though this is my space.

There are days I resent the fact that I have become a carer, yet other days I just get on with it. Lately I have become resigned to the fact that this is now my life and I am trying to deal with it as best I can. Perhaps this is what has been mapped out for me.

You may not have liked the person I was before, but I loved to laugh and make people laugh. I was always a thinker, but I chose to write my thoughts rather then speak them. I was relatively funny, but better when I had someone to spark off, a partner in crime so to speak.

Last night the interaction and laughter gave me hope that perhaps someday I will be able to return to the person I was pre injury.

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Image from notable-quotes.com

I like the fact that I can write this post and still be smiling and feel positive, despite everything. Perhaps the fog of depression that has hung above me since my accident is now starting to clear and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you to each and every person who has helped to guide me towards it. You kept on pushing me forwards. In the words of Owl City, it certainly does feel like every day like I get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightening bugs!

Keep smiling eejits! :)