Feeling Meh-ry, not Merry!

I don’t know what it is, but now Christmas has departed I am feeling a little on the meh side. Instead of revelling in the post Christmas delights of over eating and the Wizard of Oz, I am instead nursing a rather grand case of post Christmas blues.

In some ways this was not the relaxing break I had hoped for. I forgot that although I had a few days off work, things at home would be the same meaning the cooking and  the cleaning would carry on. So sadly do Mums mood swings. I try to stay calm, but sometimes it proves really difficult. I also remind myself daily to not take it personally, but that can also prove difficult.

Perhaps that’s the cause of some of the mehness. Most people look forward to the New Year and the chance to hypothetically start over with a clean sheet, while making promises to not make the same mistakes as the previous year. I’m a little bummed out because in the near future  it looks like the only thing in my future is more of the same. We’re sort of at a crossroads, where the situation is getting worse, but not to the stage where we can seek outside help. My Dad says not to worry and that things have a strange way of working out, but asking me not to worry is like asking me not to breathe, That is something else I intend to address in the New Year.

I still find it uncomfortable to write things like this on my blog, and despite how many times I tell myself I can write what I want, it’s a hurdle I stumble, not leap over. Couple that with yesterday having a crisis of confidence (yes again) and bemoaning the fact that I don’t feel like I write like an adult I was ready to throw in the towel and admit defeat. Unfortunately, for you that is, it only lasted a short period of time, so I’m not going anywhere any time soon, sorry to disappoint!

In the mean time I am going to do the housework and give myself a serious talking to. I would do it in a dark room but the daytime scuppered that idea.

Merry Meh-ness people, tomorrow (or even later on) is another day!

27 thoughts on “Feeling Meh-ry, not Merry!

  1. Hang in there. For me when I get the blues being productive helps, so writing or drawing. I think you write like an adult….. I’m glad you’re not throwing in the towel! Keep up the hard work! :D

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  2. New Year is overrated. A new year means just more of the same thing. What do you expect to change anyway, if you still live in the same house and still see the same people…
    But this doesn’t mean things can’t get better! I’ll wish you a calmer and better year already :).

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  3. Don’t u go nowheres, I need u and your juvenile style. Your my blog bud. And there’s nothing wrong with the way you write. I’ve got a feeling that it won’t get much easier but I’m certain that you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for, and I get this sense that there’s something as inherently stoic to the Irish as there is to the Scots. The Brythonic peoples are toughies, and I got your back.

    From halfway ’round the world.

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  4. Sorry you’re having to deal with this.
    Know that, even when people with mental problems are seemingly ungrateful, they are really grateful underneath, they just think that they dont deserve any help so they often say hurtful things to push people away. I’ve done that before I took medication. Is there any other help you can get to help you out? Doctors or something?
    Dont feel bad for feeling bad, I fully understand that it is hard for people to have to deal with what I go through, it’s horrible to feel so helpless and worried, it’s no wonder that you feel the way you do. Unfortunately there never seems to be any end point, or finish line, other than to wait it out. That’s probably the most frustrating part of it all.
    Don’t forget to live your own life, caring for someone absorbs your life, and you forget that you need a life too. Be nice to yourself.
    I used to find it difficult to blog everything, so I created a different blog where I could vent, unrelated to this one, and not shared anywhere. I met amazing people going through exactly the same thing as I was, and that helped me more than my doctors did! You’ll find blogs of carers too, it might be helpful to read those to know that you’re not alone, and that you’re doing a damn fine job even though sometimes it doesnt feel like it because you cannot fix anything.
    It will get better at some point, things do work out eventually, but its hard work getting there. Chin up lovely, you’re awesome x

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    • Thank you, that means a lot. I think the main problem for us just now is getting a diagnosis. One time they will say Dementia, the next it will be stroke damage. For a long time she stayed around the same level, but the pace is quickening a little bit now.
      It is really hard sometimes. I get tired, working full time and cooking and cleaning. I think this wee though I haven’t been sleeping great which hasn’t helped either, so getting back to work on Monday might slap me back into reality, hopefully.
      Nice idea about the blogs of the carers tho, will check that out.
      You’re pretty damn awesome yourself you know :)

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  5. Dealing with the Meh days is tough, you just can’t let them take over and you definitely can’t be going anywhere. What would we do without your writings entertaining us? And yes they do entertain us and bring enjoyment. Hope you feel better very soon.

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  6. Always special thoughts for you – it’s hard when you’re a care giver to someone who has an illness – especially when it robs one of the mind. So hang in there – and if need be, seek help or whatever, in a support group perhaps?

    And hey …. you very much like write like an adult! Besides, what the feck does that mean???

    I love the way you write – regardless of subject matter – and obviously you strike chords with lots of people – so keep on being you – and stop being a royal pain in my arse – my lower back hurts enough damnit!

    Love ya Juls (((((hugs)))))

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    • Lol, I dunno I just got this idea in my head that I wrote like a teenager, don’t ask me why.
      I was reading other blogs and they just seemed to be much better and I had a little attack of the wobblies. I’m all good now though :) I shall stop bing a pain in your posterior!

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      • Ach no! Please – don’t stop being a pain in my butt – I rather quite *enjoy* it ;)

        Ach —- in the *cleanest* sense of the word – and tell May to stop laughing in her little corner, over there!

        Sheesh – the people I let into my life ….. as she wanders off, muttering ….

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