I don’t know what it is, but now Christmas has departed I am feeling a little on the meh side. Instead of revelling in the post Christmas delights of over eating and the Wizard of Oz, I am instead nursing a rather grand case of post Christmas blues.
In some ways this was not the relaxing break I had hoped for. I forgot that although I had a few days off work, things at home would be the same meaning the cooking and the cleaning would carry on. So sadly do Mums mood swings. I try to stay calm, but sometimes it proves really difficult. I also remind myself daily to not take it personally, but that can also prove difficult.
Perhaps that’s the cause of some of the mehness. Most people look forward to the New Year and the chance to hypothetically start over with a clean sheet, while making promises to not make the same mistakes as the previous year. I’m a little bummed out because in the near future it looks like the only thing in my future is more of the same. We’re sort of at a crossroads, where the situation is getting worse, but not to the stage where we can seek outside help. My Dad says not to worry and that things have a strange way of working out, but asking me not to worry is like asking me not to breathe, That is something else I intend to address in the New Year.
I still find it uncomfortable to write things like this on my blog, and despite how many times I tell myself I can write what I want, it’s a hurdle I stumble, not leap over. Couple that with yesterday having a crisis of confidence (yes again) and bemoaning the fact that I don’t feel like I write like an adult I was ready to throw in the towel and admit defeat. Unfortunately, for you that is, it only lasted a short period of time, so I’m not going anywhere any time soon, sorry to disappoint!
In the mean time I am going to do the housework and give myself a serious talking to. I would do it in a dark room but the daytime scuppered that idea.
Merry Meh-ness people, tomorrow (or even later on) is another day!