I wanted to write a review of 2021 and tell you all the exciting things I had done, this was as far as I got……
…it. was. shite.
I mean if I left it there, this could be one of the shortest posts I have ever written, and believe me, in 2021, that is a thing there was a lack of, posts. I wrote a grand total of 5 posts, granted, that was one more than the year before and I could argue that I went for quality over quantity, but I think that is more of a case of me trying to convince myself than you.
So what did I do in 2021 then, because clearly I was not busy updating my blog. I got sick, that was a thing. At the start of the year my gall bladder problems got worse. Middle of the year I ended up in hospital because the gallstones hated me so much they gave me pancreatitis. I spent 5 months recovering, going to scans and appointments and worrying, I did a lot of worrying, sometimes I shared it with others, but most of the main ones I carried myself. Being sick is very lonely, it’s not something that anyone can really help you with and you just have to go with the flow and let time sort things out, which is something that someone with anxiety finds very difficult, because the weight of it never goes away until the problem does.
At the end of October I was able to go back to work, I was nervous because I had been away for so long and also as I did not know how going back would affect my illness. I lasted a week and a half until following another gallbladder attack I was again hospitalised with pancreatitis, this time my gallbladder was removed.
Thankfully in the middle of all this my large mass that I had mentioned in a previous produced a clear biopsy, however it is effecting my bladder and bowel so I am now on an urgent list for a second surgery to have to it removed. It never rains but it pours it would seem, but at least things are moving forward.
I didn’t write about any of this between July and now because there were too many unknowns, too many results still to come. I didn’t want to write about it and say all is well and then a result comes in and knocks the wind from my sails. Yesterday I saw my surgeon regarding the gallbladder side of things. Stomach biopsies have returned as normal and the pancreatitis, while it will not go away, should settle now the gallbladder is out as long as I am careful. The gallbladder removal itself will not cure the pancreatitis attacks, but it should hopefully lessen the amount of them. He has signed me off.
So 2022 starts a new chapter in my life where I learn to adjust my diet to having no gallbladder, where I run to the loo when I eat something I shouldn’t and where I also try not to eat too many sweets and put back on all the weight I lost when I was sick. I dread the next op, but I know it is something that has to happen, so as above, I am trying to go with the flow.
2021 was the year when COVID still didn’t go away. We lost some family friends and by and large kept to ourselves. The Fathership was diagnosed with Emphysema but with his new inhaler he’s doing ok.
In each of my hospital visits I met the most lovely ladies who touched my heart. In May it was someone who reminded me of my Mum and in November, it was perhaps one of the bravest ladies I have ever met as she gracefully battled cancer. Sadly neither of them are with us any more, but I hope the Mothership was there to greet them when they were called home. I can guarantee she probably said to them, isn’t that daughter of mine a right pain in the arse!
So here’s the thing, 2021 was honestly, a bag of shite, but there were still good bits in it. There always are good bits among the bad. I might have lost friends throughout the year, but I also made new ones. Some I thought had gone, returned, I guess that’s the circle of life.
I am proud of myself. I have mental health issues, and despite what I faced last year I walked out the other side of 2021.
I have no plans for 2022, what would be the point. Last year showed me that we have no idea what is around the corner, so perhaps it’s just better to keep putting one foot in front of the other and take things one day at a time.
Ok, maybe one plan for 2022….to perhaps write 6 posts???
Happy New Year to you all.