Tag: writing

Sleep typing…

The Indecisive Eejit53 Comments

The past few days have been weird around blogsphere what with everything going on. I wanted to write yesterday, but the post was in pieces and I couldn’t quite manage to pull it together, so in the end I gave up and watched a few episodes of ‘Life Unexpected’ instead.

I also wanted to start work on a new What If? piece for Jed and his blog, but again I couldn’t get anything to stick. Any suggestions for me?

I’m sure it has not escaped your notice that despite my big girl bragging about changing my page and forcing it to grow up, there are little or no differences at all. Now, before you get all judgmental on me, it has NOTHING to do with me being lazy and EVERYTHING to do with me not being able to find a theme that I like as much as my current one. I tried each and every one in WordPress, on Saturday night, cos I’ve no social life thats just how I roll! In the end I gave up. I need more time to make an informed decision so that when I start the begging process with Paul regarding a new banner I know exactly what I am asking for! That said I have help on tap with regards to CSS cos my good friend from No Blog Intended passed her exam with flying colours! Well done young lady :)

This is only going to be a short post, I managed a 10 hours shift in work today, the first since I had my accident and do you know what, it felt good. The Diamond Dancer and I didn’t stop and I was amazed at how quickly the time went and the amount we were able to achieve in it.

I’d left dinner out for the olds with instructions on what to do. It seems they managed ok, apart from one phone call from the Fathership asking what number on the cooker the spuds had to be turned on to. It would appear however that unless something is able to go in the dishwasher neither of the ‘ships’ will touch it, meaning after arriving home at 9.45pm I had to start and wash the pots and pans and then prepare tomorrow nights dinner. Next time I go out, they can order in and I will leave out paper plates and cups. Problem solved!

That’s about all I can manage, I really don’t want to wake up in the morning with ‘qwerty’ embedded on my forehead because I fell asleep at the keyboard!

One last thing tho before I go, can I please (if I have not already) draw your attention to my new page entitled ‘Challenges’. On it you can find the most recent ones from Okay, What if?, Robs Surf  Report and also Steve’s Monday Music Challenge. Check them out and put in an entry, go on I dare ya!

Night night now :)

P.s The video at the top is The Crooked Kind by Radical Face. It’s my song of choice for this week. It’s been on repeat since I first heard it!

Feeling Humbled!

The Indecisive Eejit26 Comments

-Dear-Followers

I’ve had a few new followers of late, thank you very much and you are more than welcome. My apologies for the fact that I have not been along personally to thank you, but you see I never did that with any of the old hands and I don’t want to hear any cries of discrimination. People seem to just happen along and hang around, adding bits and pieces every now and again and that’s just the way I like it. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay. There’s a great bunch of folks who visit, I’m sure you’ll get to know them soon enough.

The addition of new followers to my blog has also meant the addition of new material to my reader. I love it when people introduce themselves, because the chances are I would never have found them otherwise. For some reason, my ‘You May Like’ section usually throws up the same 4 blogs, even though I have previously indicated they were not my type of thing. If you think about it, there are over a million people on WordPress, but yet it still recommends the same ones. Perhaps I have found the best ones already, most days it certainly feels like I have, because you lot rock!

I always did pretty much live on the Internet, right from the first time my sister let me have a go on her laptop and introduced me to ICQ. I spoke to people all over the world and nothing would do but I had to get a computer of my very own to explore this new world I had previously known nothing about. Over the years I have made some amazing friends, met some complete wankers, learned new skills, honed old ones and many other things that I would never have managed were it not for easy access to the World Wide Web.

Despite how I come across I am actually quite a shy person, most likely due to low self esteem, so hiding behind the screen of a computer suits me just fine. I do love going out with my friends and if I feel comfortable with you I will open up, but I hate that moment of having to meet someone for the first time, or walking into a crowded room. People who know me would tell you that they find this weird. They say I am the life and soul of the party and strangely, they find me funny. I love that, but it bemuses me at the same time.

So you see this little space of mine on the Internet, has given me a lot to be thankful for. I have been fortunate enough to meet amazing people, with more coming along every day. I’ve shared their stories, their journeys, their happiness and heartache. I’ve been in total awe of the strength people show in the most dire of circumstances and how despite everything they continue to write, offering those who follow hope and a lifeline. I’ve giggled at the sexploits of others, yes Sean, this time I do mean you, take a bow! and I’ve even been educated, probably more than I ever was at school.

I don’t get time to comment on every post I read and the ‘Like’ button along with Translink’s free Wifi have been a tad temperamental of late, but I try and read as often as I can to keep up to date with everyone’s goings on. So don’t think that just because I have not liked or commented on a post that I have not read it. Even after all this time I still get stuck for things to say, so I choose not to comment. Sometimes nothing else needs to be said.

There has been so much going on here too, what with working full time, being later home at night and the cooking every day now, that I don’t have the same amount of time I used to. I want to be writing all the time and my mind is a hive of activity with ideas for this site and also for posts on Okay, What if?, where I now guest post, it’s just that when I finally get everything done my brain goes, ‘seriously you want me to remember all those things you were thinking about? How about a big slice of feck away off” and the great ideas I had vanish into the ether.

thinking-please-be-patient-thecuriousbrain.com_
Image from simplelifestrategies.com

In fact it’s doing that right now, reminding me it’s bed time and that I’ve not been sleeping the best. Funny things brains, ingenious inventions, you can be as thick as shit, but the old top box still rules the roost!

Anyway all I wanted to say was, thank you for following me, for putting up with me and for sticking around. I am so glad to have met you all!

 

Well hello there 2014!

The Indecisive Eejit11 Comments
Designs-for-Kids.-Happy-New-Year-2014-n-4-780x780
Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!

 

The Idea Machine!

The Indecisive Eejit27 Comments
Salazar-Install-500x333
Picture: Souther Salazar, Alejandro and the Idea Machine, 2010

I need a contraption that can suck the thoughts out of my head and e-mail them to me!

That’s strange I hear you mutter to yourself, and why yes, you are correct, it is indeed very strange, but it is also very much needed!

It’s been a busy couple of weeks what with people being off in work and things to be done at home. My free time was pretty much slashed to nothing. I usually blog on the train or at lunch time in work, but lunch times were few and far between, peaceful ones anyway, and tables were lacking on the trains. The blog gods were against me! The weekend was designated to housework. I started early so that I would have the rest of Saturday afternoon free to sort things out on here, but then the Father ship decided I needed to clean out his paperwork drawer and get stuff ready for the accountant. 3 hours later, oh yes, 3 hours, and it was time to make the tea!

Sunday I could have blogged, in fact I could have blogged for most of the day, but you know what, I was just too darn tired and my two remaining brain cells were rattling round the empty space between my ears road testing their Halloween costumes, which just happened to be Teflon frying pans, nothing was sticking!

In the midst of all this however I did have some ideas for posts, I would even go as far as to say some of them were great ideas for posts. But then I forgot them. I have this uncanny knack of coming up with ideas when I have nothing on which to write them down. I tell myself I won’t forget, I repeat them to myself in an effort to increase the likelihood, and then nothing, zilch, nada….all gone!

I come in at night when everything has been done, I’m showered, clothes are laid out and I am free to enjoy the little bit of time I have left before bed. I am like a master pianist, I flick out my pajama top tails and seat myself at my instrument, crick my neck from side to side, flex  my fingers, limbering them up, preparing them, and then move them to hover above the keys, and there I sit.

To an outsider I probably look like I am in pain as I try to recall the ideas from the various nooks and crannies in my head, I guess it’s a little like brain constipation, I push but nothing happens. The ideas have all gone, they are lost somewhere in space and time, never to return.

Enter the idea machine. It would store all my little bits and bobs and then replay them to me whilst I limber up, allowing those beautiful and ‘Freshly (yeah right) Pressed’ deserving ideas to filter back into my consciousness, meaning I will no longer have to endure writers block!

I did start out tonight with the intention of writing my piece for this weeks Okay, What If? challenge, but after 30 minutes of screen staring, nothing was stirring so to speak, I can only apologise!

Happy Halloween my most favourite eejits in the whole wide world!

Happy-Halloween-logo

What to write?

The Indecisive Eejit6 Comments

In a world full of incidents and information, you would think that finding a subject to write about would be an easy enough ask for a lowly little blogger like myself. Not so the case. It would appear that unless my brain has an affinity for my chosen subject matter it refuses to function.
 
There is nothing particularly unusual about that to be honest, the functionality of my brain has always been something that confused and frustrated me.
 
I wanted to be a genius, honestly I did, I was just too lazy / stubborn / undisciplined to study. I preferred the ‘drift into it’ method. When the time came and I looked at the slip of paper that bore my results I’m sure I uttered a sentence that started with “if only…”.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, this was to become a regular saying in my life.  Another favourite would become, “I have no one to blame but myself”. At least I have enough balls to admit when I am wrong, well most of the time anyway.
 
The trouble is, when I do something I like to do it well. I would feel uncomfortable writing about a subject that I have very little knowledge of. Sure I have an opinion and can offer it to anyone prepared to listen, but it won’t necessarily be right or correct.
 
Most people seem to think that you need to pick a subject matter and stick to it. Essentially this means that there is a theme running through your blog, but doesn’t this pigeon hole you a little? In later months you might feel a little uncomfortable about hitting your readers with a different subject matter than usual and perhaps losing some of the street cred you have spent months, even years building.
 
Personally I love people who write little bits of anything and everything. It keeps me interested and engaged. But each to his own.
 
If there are indeed different categories in the blogging world, then I fall squarely into the ‘mongrel’ one, because I am not a defined breed. I am a sum total of many different parts of anything and everything that comes to mind. Kinda makes sense now that I have been called ‘barking’ mad right?
 
I don’t have an exciting life. I don’t have time for hobbies, well except blogging and the Xbox and…ok so maybe I do have hobbies. I don’t travel the world. I don’t have an interesting job that I can regale you with stories of, however I do have very entertaining work colleagues and friends.
 
So you see even though I am, in my own way unique and individual, I am also the same.
 
I sleep, get up, work, come home, make dinner, do dishes, wash, iron, sleep and then rise the next morning to repeat the whole cycle again. The only difference between myself and some other folks is that instead of doing all of this for a partner and children I do it for aging parents, one of whom is regressing back to childhood.
 
Where’s the subject matter in that? Most times I am too tired to think.
 
So the moral of this story? Well that’s easy. Just write whatever the feck you want, there are eejits everywhere, if you build the blog they will come!

Who am I?

The Indecisive Eejit20 Comments

Lee and Paul are irked with me, I know they are, but it’s not my fault. I’m still having a blog identity crisis!

I know when I asked this question before, most of you said that it does not matter what the name of your blog is, if the content is good.  Lee made a comment on the last post saying that it did not matter what I did because I would never be happy, and in all honestly he is probably right, I’m never happy with what I write and can’t really see how people get enjoyment from it. I am assuming however, that most bloggers feel the same, if not all the time then at least at some point.

I started this blog for a laugh, I didn’t in all honesty think I would stick at it, my track record is pretty rubbish where blogs are concerned. I had no clear idea of what I wanted to write, in fact I still don’t, but I know now from reading other blogs from people I would class as proper gamers, not casual ones like myself that I don’t feel I deserve to have the word gamer in my title. Now I am back to work full time after the ‘Alien Leg’ incident I don’t get the same time for gaming that I used to, in fact blogging has probably now filled that space.

So do I pigeon hole  myself by being called ‘The Geeky G4mer’? I have no idea, but I’ve already had to clarify the fact that I am a woman, so there could be some slight issues there. :)

Coming up with a new name however is a nightmare, I’d thought about Operation Eejit and that’s pretty much where it ended, after 5 minutes I had worn myself out.

I think what has surprised me the most is how much I am actually enjoying blogging, I love to entertain, I like to at least try and make people laugh, but in reality that is only a small part of the big picture. I’ve really enjoyed the interaction with others and meeting new people, blogging really does make it a small world. It’s made me smile on days when I thought there was no hope of turning the frown upside down.

So maybe that’s the point. I want to try and stick at this and see how it goes, so is my head telling me I need a more permanent name, or am I just being an arse like Paul and Lee say.

I’ve put on a poll. I really appreciate your opinions, so if you could spare two seconds to vote I would be eternally grateful :)

On a happier note, I reached 500 likes today. Thank you so much to all of you for reading and liking my posts, I could not have done it without you!! You lot are awesome and I’m really lucky to have met you all :)

Blogging to beat the blues…

The Indecisive Eejit12 Comments
Blog
Image by Joel Montes

The Geeky G4mer was not my first foray into the blogging world. Oh no. There were many many others.

Over the years I have had various little bits and pieces about my life on the World Wide Web. Scraps of this and that, scattered over random names that I have long since forgotten.

To date though, this has been the one I have updated the most, but it‘s hard to think of new content when your life is just run of the mill and compared to some, downright boring.

Everyone has something to offer. Everyone has something to give. Everyone will touch someone regardless of whether they realise it or not.

A blog for all intents and purposes it usually an outlet for something. Somewhere to be honest, somewhere to be humorous, somewhere to vent, the list is endless. Most of us do it for fun. There are some though,  who have crafted their art so skillfully they can now live off the proceeds, or so they would have us believe. I feel under pressure to think of new things now, imagine what it would be like if I was getting paid and had deadlines. Pressure cooker springs to mind.

Despite the fact I do it for fun and to keep my aging brain active, there is no denying the little buzz you experience when you get a notification of a new like or follow. If I write and post something on my morning train journey, one person liking the post has me squealing with delight, usually at the expense of the eardrums of everyone within a 100m radius.

It makes me want to better myself, but in doing so, do I set the bar to high.

Years ago I realised I was never going to be an amazing writer or poet and I’m ok with that. I’m content to be mediocre or even something close to it. I’m enjoying the company of the people I have around me here, and getting to know them via the details they choose to share.

I’m learning things about myself, like the fact that I don’t have to be perfect or amazing or even all that intellectual. It’s perfectly fine to just be me, a little bit thick and occasionally funny. I’ve made people smile and I’ve made people laugh, and that in turn has made everything worthwhile.

Every time there is a little tinkle of a notification or someone leaves me a comment it’s a little pat on the back, someone is saying, you know what, you’re no Whilimena Shakespear but that wasn’t a bad attempt. That beats back the blues just a little.

So to sign out I am going to leave you with one of my poems, Lee who is much more organised than me kept a back log of all my old posts and poems from the site I used to have called “The Trouble With Me”. Now bear in mind this was written around 2002, so a little like my mental age, it’s around 11 years old.

Being Late

The birds didn’t sing and the sun didn’t shine,
as I snored in my bed unaware of the time.
And the next thing I know it’s a quarter to 8,
and my Mum’s screaming up, “you’re going to be late”.

But even at that time all hope was lost,
I’d missed the damn train and my parents were cross.
My bed was calling but my mind said “Make haste”
So I tossed off the covers and to the bathroom I raced!

A quick sprinkling of water, and a brush round my jaws,
and a luke warm face cloth around my face and my paws,
locating clean clothes amid all the clutter,
running around like a bit of a nutter.

Down the stairs slowly it feels like a mile,
But “Good afternoon” she says with a sarcastic wee smile,
into the car for a 5 mile journey of silence,
mind it could have been worse there might have been violence.

So here I am on a later train,
I shall never trust my alarm clock again,
but you know what it’s worth all the trouble and strife,
to get another shot at this thing they call life.

Inspire, amuse and educate me…

The Indecisive Eejit14 Comments

I love WordPress, love, love, love it!!

I’ve learnt so much in the short time I have been here, just from reading other people’s blogs. In fact the “Reader” has become my newest travel companion.

I’ve read posts that have made me laugh, think, question and quite a few that have  made me emotional, even cry on occasion.

Whilst I have no idea who the majority of people on here are, there is something very personal about someone opening their thoughts to you and letting you browse.

I love it when someone is able to draw you into their story, so much so, that you feel that you are right there with them in that exact moment in time.

Of course no two people are going to react to a post the exact same way. So what is amazing for me, may be mediocre for you.

So whilst I love the Reader, I am experiencing a little frustration at the fact there are over a million blogs floating around out there that I might never get to see. That’s a million emotions I will not experience, a million people I will never meet, albeit virtually.

My “You may like” section, within the reader, seems to constantly give me the same options, even though I have X’d them after reading and finding they were just not for me. I’ve trawled the Blog’s I follow lists of the blogs I follow, if you catch my drift, but that just feels like stalking.

So here’s what I need. If you stop by and read this, please don’t pass on by. Take 2 minutes and let me know about your favourite post or blog. Something that made you laugh, think and even cry. It can be your own or someone else’s. Hopefully that way I can perhaps find a few more good reads to add to my morning routine!

Here’s a couple of my favourites that I think deserve a read:

Made me Laugh out Loud: Conversations with Cats

Made me Think: Hypocrisy

Made me hungry: Prawn pate, and other things.

Made me emotional: Making it so

Made me Smile: Animal Chaos 

Made me worry for those who date online, oh and laugh: Will you be my matey?

Made me cry and STILL my most favourite post ever: Nickle Lauritzen and the Afterlife

These are just a few of the many amazing posts I have read, please try and help me find some more…..

I might be Ham!!

The Indecisive Eejit3 Comments

I think, I hope, well I seem to be Ham again.

(If you’re  confused please read my previous post Turning Spam into Ham)

I was able to comment this morning, and better still it actually showed up.

I haven’t however had an email from Akismet, so this may only be temporary. Fair play, it’s put a smile on my face this morning anyway.

Many thanks to those of you who battled the Spam Spectre on my behalf and rescued me from the Losers folder. It is much appreciated.

The rest of you, well you may still find some of my comments festering in the underworld, so there remains a little time to do your bit with regards to the preservation of my sanity!

I quite like being ham again, as long as I can get through the day without anyone trying to turn me into a sandwich!

Freshly Pressed, Freshly Stressed but I am Impressed!

The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

I am in awe, total awe, of a lot of the posts I read on Freshly Pressed, so despite how it might first appear when you read the post title I am indeed glad it exists.

By far the best post I have read so far was Nickle Lauritzen and the Afterlife on One Boy’s Way of Knowing, it actually brought tears to my eyes. I made Paul read it too and all he could say was “Wow”. Other people will be able to tell you in big fancy words how fantastic it was, I wish I could, but that is just not me. I can simply tell you from the heart it was wonderful and urge you to read it. I am certainly grateful to Freshly Pressed because it allowed me to find and read it.

So I’m in awe! Everyday I read things that make me laugh, make me sad, make me think, make me confused, make me ask questions and last but not least make me jealous.

I want to be able to write like that. I want to be able to make people feel all the different emotions I do and leave it so they want to come back and see if I can do it all again. Sadly I can’t, and I am just going to have to put up with that fact, but secretly it bothers me. I always joke that I want  NGE on my gravestone, which stands for Not Good Enough. I’m not putting myself down when I say that, despite what you might think. What I mean is, I am great at lots of different little bits and pieces of things but I don’t excel at anything.

So I started a blog which guess what, yep it’s all little different bits and pieces, just like the cluttered workings of my brain.

I did have a debate with myself about this, and also about the blog title, because not everything will be about gaming, but I decided I like the name, it sums me up and I can write whatever weird and wonderful stuff I want on here. It’s not going to appeal to everyone, it may not even appeal to anyone but it’s a good way to store my memories, a veritable patchwork quilt of my madness.

So I shall let the content of Freshly Pressed stress me no more, I don’t have to be brilliant like the amazing people featured there. For all the thousands of brilliant writers out there,  are hundreds like me who are happy to be the blanket behind the stars!