I like the idea that my 300th post on this blog is going to be one for the Cartoon Craziness Challenge, it has given myself and others a lot of fun and helped to prise out the inner artist in us all.
This weeks theme was kids and pets. Now when it was first suggested I was a little perturbed to say the least owing to the fact that I have neither kids or pets, so I had to get creative and think of ways to make it fit, so here goes.
The first of my pets would be ‘The Punk Penguin’. I have no idea why he / she is a punk, I just like the addition of a little bad ass and a more colourful body than the normal black and white. I’m thinking tartan for the chest area and the little lock of hair is of course pink!
The second pet would be ‘The Cheeky Monkey’ because I can be cheeky at times and I like monkeying around. Ignore the fact that his wee face looks like every animal under the sun except a monkey, I had nothing for reference!
Last but not least I figured that as I run this competition along with the Mental one, it seems only fitting that I give 100% participation, so please meet my imaginary child, ‘The Ginger Whinger’. Seriously dude, look at the picture, no other explanation is required!
There is still one day left if you would like to join in with this weeks challenge. All the information along with all the current entries for this week can be seen on the Cartoon Craziness Challenge page at the top, or if you are lazy it’s HERE!
Welcome to Week 4 of 7 weeks of Weird hosted by the fabulous Mental Mama herself. You can find all the information you require HERE!
I’m late this week, but I’ve been late on everything. It’s a good job the Mental one is relaxed about the whole thing or I could have been on the receiving end of a kick up the arse all the way from the United States of America.
Weirdest Habit / Routine You Have
Until I started thinking about this I was pretty sure I didn’t have any weird habits or routines. I read Sheena’s post and found myself nodding when she said she swore too much, because I too resemble that remark.
On giving it further consideration I realised there are a few weird things that I do. Are they habits, routines or good old OCD, who knows.
I’ll check to make sure the doors are locked at least twice before I go to bed. I’m not however as picky about this as I used to be, owing to the fact going up and down the stairs now requires more effort due to my wonky leg.
For some strange reason I count when I chop or shred vegetables.
I hate sitting down at night to do anything (tv or blogging) unless all the dishes have been washed and put away.
I carry a cigarette behind my ear. I don’t do this as much now that I have changed jobs, but I used to do it a lot. When it was behind my ear I didn’t want to smoke it.
When I telephone doodle I either write my name over and over again, or draw eyes and weird faces.
I hate answering the door to strangers so I usually hide :)
I try to sit in the same seat on the train in the morning. I get a little territorial if someone has made it there before me, although I have not yet got to the stage of pulling them out of it. In my defense the one I like has more let room and is perfect when your knee will not bend as far as it used to.
I nearly always put milk in my coffee before the water goes in, unless of course it’s really strong coffee!
Woohoo, perhaps I am weird after all….what about you?
As with all things this week I am pretty much late to my own party! My business partner in Cartoon Craziness has even got there before me, but better late than never, here is my entry for Cartoon Craziness Challenge – Superhero!
Sue me, I find all things bottom burp related kinda funny, so my Superhero is called the Phantom Farter! She has a utility belt to help her out in all kinds of situations as well as wings that can waft as well as fly! My character in GTA has a black bob style haircut and no one gives her shit, so I figured PF should have the same.
Who would you be as a Superhero, or who is your favorite Superhero, tell us in a doodle and join the fun. For more information, click HERE!
It’s almost the end of the week, which means you only have one day left to submit your pictures for the weirdness and wackiness that is ‘The Cartoon Craziness Challenge’.
Mental Mama and I have both created pages on our blogs dedicated to the challenge as we each have our own sets of followers, although some are shared.
My page currently has information about the challenge and the information for this weeks along with entries so far. Mama’s is pretty much the same, however for this week and the purposes of this post, hers is WAY more important than mine.
She’s devised a great little feedback form, because while we know you are enjoying things so far, we would still value your input with regard to future challenges etc. If you’ve liked the idea, but not yet been brave enough to join us, then please let us know what you would like to see that might just make you change your mind.
You can find Mental Mama’s page HERE and we would be really grateful if you could spare us just 5 minutes of your time to let us know your thoughts.
There have been some amazing entires this week, and in case you are to lazy to go searching for the original post, (hence the reason why they are now on the page), here is a list of the entries so far:
When I saw the description, it was the lying ill and helpless bit that I focused on, you see I have not been here for a while because I myself was in that situation. Something terrible happened. I broke a nail!
Now I don’t expect guys to understand the importance of having beautifully manicured digits, but ladies, come on, you get it, right?! It’s like walking out of the house with your skirt stuck in your knickers, mor-ti-fying!!
Owing to the fact that it happened on a Saturday night there was not a lot I could do until the Monday. I phoned into work sick, and unable to think of another excuse I used RSI or Repetitive Strain Injury as it’s also known. Well I mean I wasn’t really telling any lies, because my hand was in agony as a result of the furious filing required to make my poor nail look somewhat decent.
My next call brought nothing but more pain. I had completely forgotten that Monday was my beauticians day off, which left me speaking to Marina, the bitch of the brows. After the previous incident with her and the leggings, there was just no way I was going to sit down and let her work on any part of me. So I asked if there was any chance of an emergency appointment on the Tuesday.
Marina: Broken a nail or something? (said in an extremely sarcastic tone)
Me: I’ll break your face if you don’t put me in the diary for tomorrow (smiling sweetly, even though she couldn’t see me).
Appointment made, it was then back onto the phone with work. Peppering ‘ouch’ throughout the conversation had the desired effect of gaining me another day off, however I was reminded of a meeting I was to attend that afternoon. That’s why I hate Mondays! Horrified at the fact I might have to leave the house in such a state, or worse still attend a meeting in the middle of summer wearing gloves, I started to get a little flustered. My boss, who I have to say is rather good at picking up on my anxiety suggested it might be possible to complete the meeting via conference call, or Skype. Without thinking things through, I readily accepted, I was just glad I did not have to actually go into work.
I spent the rest of the day tidying up a little, I certainly didn’t want my big boss seeing the mess that had accumulated over the weekend, and could not be tidied owing to the broken nail!
I hate waiting for a Skype call, it means you have to walk everywhere with the required device at a short enough distance to ensure the call is not missed. At about 2 minutes to 3pm, the time allocated for the call, my lunch time Tuna sandwich decided to make a surprise reappearance, typical right! But it was better to pay a visit to the loo than have someone hear the gurgling and rumbling of my poor stomach.
Trying to keep myself calm I left the tablet on the dresser and headed for the toilet. I had only just sat myself down, when the bloody thing started to ring. FFS, I’ve heard of getting caught with your pants down, but this was ridiculous! Imagine a rabbit caught in headlights, hovering over a toilet…that was me!
I cannot stress how important this meeting was, and how vital it was that I make some kind of appearance. I certainly did not envisage being naked from the waist down, and was beginning to realise that I might have been safer just going into work.
The device continued to ring and was in the process of vibrating itself off the edge of the dresser onto the the tiled floor below. Holding onto my knickers which were at this point round my ankles I made an awkward dive and somehow managed to catch the kamikaze tablet mid fall.
Me: Oh thank feck!
The Big Boss: Good afternoon Miss Dupp, have we called at an inconvenient time, I hear you are a little indisposed.
Oh balls, balls, balls, I’d only gone and answered the call at the critical point of rescue.
Me: More than you know Sir, more than you know.
The Big Boss: Shall we begin.
My mind was going ten to the dozen with the statement ‘ah feck’ seemingly stuck on repeat. What the hell was I going to do. Here I was back on the toilet, naked from the waist down, trying to hold a tablet at a modest distance, with a broken nail and alleged repetitive strain injury. W T absolute F!!
Me: Ah Sir, I might need a few moments just to compose myself and get organised.
The Big Boss: (there was most certainly laughter in the background) Yes Miss Dupp, I think you might indeed need a few moments. I certainly hope however that you will not ‘pee’ long, umm forgive me, I do of course mean be long. (at this point hysterical laughter could be heard from the Head office of the Captain Cosmetic Company).
I finished the meeting on the toilet and I also learned a valuable lesson, find a beautician who opens on a Sunday!
I love my weekends, two days of fun and laughter that stretch ahead of the working week to tantalise and tease us. I had high hopes of a glamorous and girly extravaganza that involved hair, nails and make up but sadly the weekend that was, turned into something completely different.
I should have known to say no when Onda asked me to go to the ‘The Wicky Digit’, the pub at the end of her street on Friday night. Myself, Onda and alcohol are never a good mix, you’d really think I would have learned my lesson by now, but oh no, there is no show without punch!
The Wicky Digit is a funny wee pub, a fusion between ye olde worlde and the brand spanking new. The furnishings are up to date and the decor like something out of ‘My Pub’s Lush Monthly’, the old is supplied by the liberal scattering of sawdust on the floor that the elderly men spit onto, even though that particular pastime was banned in 2005.
A diverse clientèle frequent this particular establishment, a veritable mix of the good, the bad and the ugly. On the rare occasions that Onda and I attend, we are of course the good. Friday nights can be a little hit and miss for eye candy, but sure if you don’t go, you never know.
Dolled to the nines and tottering up the street on heels that would have raised than the dead, we reached the door of the bar around 9pm. ‘Knuckles’, as the doorman is affectionately known greeted us with his usual lopsided smile and a cheeky wink for Onda.
Knuckles: Have you yer big pants on the night Onda for I’ll be looking into them before the night’s out.
Onda: Feck off Knuckles, the only place you’ll be in is hospital if you keep that up.
His laugh could be heard all the way down the street, and Onda for all her bumph and bluster had a wee blush, I think she has a crush on him, but doesn’t like to admit it.
The place was packed, unusual for so early on a Friday, but we never thought anything of it. Spotting Billy and Seamus in the corner we headed over, eager to avail of the two spare seats at their table. After the cursory greetings Onda headed to the bar to get us both a drink;
Me: Seamus, what’s wrong with Billy’s face?
Seamus: What do you mean what’s wrong with it?
Me: Well it’s more limp than a week old lettuce leaf from the vegetable man.
Seamus: Ach he’s mooning over some girl on the Internet.
Me: A real life one or a computer generated one?
Seamus: Oh no real life, he met her on his bog.
Me: WTF!? His bog???
Seamus: Yeah you know, one of those things you write on and people read it.
Me: Oh you mean a blog? What the hell does Seamus keep a blog about?
Seamus: Ferrets, he puts up pictures and everything.
Me: Heaven help us. So if he’s met someone what’s he so sad about.
Seamus: She’s from Belgium.
Me: Is that where they make chocolate?
Seamus: I don’t fecking know.
Me: Right sorry, what else?
Seamus: She has red eyes.
Me: Umm ok, and what else?
Seamus: That’s all he knows, but it’s love for sure, I’ve never seen him this way before.
Me: Billy, are you ok sunshine?
Billy: Aye.
Me: You sure now Billy?
Billy: Aye.
Me: That’s dead on then. Seamus, there’s feck all wrong with him.
At that moment Onda returned with the drinks and I was just filling her in with the gen surrounding Billy and the red eyed love of his life, when a crowd of firemen walked into the bar. I stopped mid sentence, and if it hadn’t been for Seamus putting his hand under my chin and closing my mouth I swear I would have forgotten to breathe. I kid you not, these dudes looked like they just walked straight out of a calendar and into my life.
What if you let your dark side take over?
An unfortunate event has allowed the Devil to own your soul. He has decided to give you a chance to get it back but to win it you must bring a smile to the Devil’s face with your actions. He allows you to have one full day in which you can do anything your heart desires without fear of consequences, retaliation, retribution or prosecution.
An unusual turn of events indeed. I have been pondering this one for a few days, well since Sunday, when the challenge went up. No one willingly wishes to court the Devil, so the conundrum is, how best to tackle this unfortunate event and in fact turn it to your advantage.
The Devil dislikes my body, he has no option but to use it as a host, so will spend endless hours fashioning it into a more visually pleasing and competent, super human vessel. Even without the option of choice, I will secretly marvel at my new svelte frame and flowing strawberry blond (gingerish) locks, some things it seems just cannot be amended. From the array of clothes that my new figure opens the opportunity of, I will select a black all in one jumpsuit, that clings to every curve and makes both womens and men’s heads turn. “Who are you?” they will say, awed by my presence and I shall reply, “I am the Ginga Ninja, remember my name, for it will be the ruination of many.”
The Ginga Ninja looks a little like this!
The Devil turns his gaze from me, just for a few minutes. It seems his addiction to Starbucks coffee is just the same as any mortals. His lapse in concentration affords me the chance to substitute the list of victims he has provided, with my own.
He bids me farewell, a wry smile on his face. It would appear he does indeed derive great pleasure from a soul in torment. I have 3 hours in which to perform 3 kills, if I am to make the Devil smile and regain my soul.
11.59 am
I slip into an apartment block just west of Sudsly Avenue. It is run down and dingy. Rats scuttle at my feet as I read the names on the mail boxes. Smiling, I mentally note the number and proceed to climb the stairs, mumbling about the fact that his nibs did not consider flying as an option, when it could have been so helpful. Stubborn bloody man.
Two henchmen guard the door, but they are no match for the Ginga Ninja and I quickly dispense of them and hide their bodies in the broom cupboard, giggling to myself about the cliché of it all.
True to his form, Bubbles the Beast McGinn is in the bath. It takes him a minute to realise I am there. “My boss sent me” I say. I am instantly recognizable as soulless, so I am not surprised by the look of shock on his face as I push his head below the water, holding it there until the beast bubbles no more.
12.45 pm
Lunchtime – Kentucky Fried Chicken for a Boneless Banquet for One – Gravy as the side. What ffs??? A girls gotta eat. This assassination lark is not easy and besides my feet are killing me in these high heeled boots!
2.30 pm
Destination downtown Dumpsville. A laundromat on the corner of Persil Place. The sign in the window asks for young female workers, promising good benefits and competitive rates of pay. Rita the Rinser has been using the same ploy for years to lull young girls into her lair. She promises them the earth before she drugs them and sells them on as either prostitutes or slaves. I spy her loading washing into a huge clanking machine and quick as lightening I am behind her. Again she can sense I am soulless and visibly relaxes, that is until I whisper in her ear, “My boss sent me” and push her headlong into the machine, setting it for boil wash.
3.05 pm
A quick call into Manicures for the Mighty. I need to look in pristine condition for my next job, the last on my list.
3.45 pm
A prestigious fashion house. In full stealth mode I hitch a ride to the top floor hidden in a rack of clothes. I see my prey hunched over, pencil in hand, sketching out the new seasons trends. Saying not a single word I snap his neck like a twig.
4.15 pm
Grabbing a Starbucks I head back to ‘Satan’s Shack’ a prestigious gambling establishment I know he with the horns frequents. Sure enough, there he is surrounded by women and being fawned over by men. I step forward and offer the Starbucks.
Me: “I’m all finished, can I have my soul back please?”
Devil: “Why would you even ask such a stupid question, you have just killed two of my most loyal staff members, how could you ever imagine this would please me.”
Me: “I thought you knew everything ffs. Every night those two pray to God to forgive them for theirs sins. Every night their excuse is the same, ‘the devil made me do it’. In the end they were going to be detrimental to your business, and besides you’re going to save a fecking fortune on bubbles and soap powder.”
Devil: (sniggers) “Dam, you made me laugh, and by the terms of our agreement I must give you back your soul. Get out of my sight, I never wish to lay eyes on you again.”
Me: “Suits me. Any chance I can keep the body till the morning though?”
Devil: “GET OUT!!”
I figure my svelte figure could disappear at any second, so I decide to make as much as I can of the little time I have left and head to my local pub ‘The Pearly Gates’. Peter my favourite barman is on and after greeting me with a smile he pushes a pint of water across the bar to me.
Peter: “Busy day huh?”
Me: “Sure was. Is the boss happy?”
Peter: “Delighted, he’s been after those two for a while, however he did mention the fact that you deviated from the original plan and added in an extra assassination. There were only meant to be two.”
Me: “Yeah I know,”
Peter: “So enlighten me. The first two I can understand, but the third one has left me a little confused as well.”
Me: (shrugs shoulders) It was just for fun, and pretty simple really, the devil wears Prada.
Trying to get a lunch break today has proved quite difficult. Everytime I bring out my little tablet and sit down to type the door goes and it’s someone looking me for something.
There is a noted difference in the days, they are getting colder. The Tinsel Twit is talking about snow and we’ve not even hit October yet. Strangely she seems to have forgotten all about the Christmas dinner, I may have to consider renaming her.
I’m tired, so tired in fact that I am scared to lay my head down, even for 5 minutes as there is the strong possibility it would result in a major conking out.
The reason behind my tiredness is the fact that I foolishly decided to change my blog name at stupid o’clock last night. I thought I was smart and started with Facebook (Like me, please!!) changing the name to The Indecisive Eejit. Next I headed on over to WordPress and tried to find the settings for changing the blog name. To my horror I couldn’t find them and in full mini meltdown mode thought I had made a humungous error and was going to have to contend with two different names. Lee noticing the name change on Facebook, commented and I replied “I’ve fecked up”, only being that I was in the midst of said mini meltdown, I forgot to substitute the ‘u’ with the ‘e’, laying the word on Facebook with the full force!
With his help we trawled the inner brain cells of WordPress, otherwise known as the support forums and managed to figure out the steps I needed to take.
Plan in motion, idea half formed, only a little bit sure, I gnashed my teeth, fretted, hovered my finger over the enter key, read some more, fretted some more and in the end annoyed myself so much that I stabbed the enter key out of sheer badness. The deed was one. In 2 seconds flat, The Geeky G4mer was erased The Indecisive Eejit was born.
[Insert 2 minute silence here for the daily departed]
For a few moments I was unable to type. Even though I have wanted to change the name, and have only had it a short while, there is still a little sadness about getting rid of something that has provided so much fun.
You have all come to know me as The Geeky G4mer, and in fact some of you have never known me as anything else. You have all, in your own ways helped me on my journey and nurtured me. There is that moment of panic where you think, what if people stop reading, what if they don’t recognise me, so many what ifs. Count to ten, breathe, smile and carry on, whatever will be will be.
I refreshed the page and there was nothing. I shut down my browser and opened it again, still nothing…..oh for feck sake! I thought I had lost everything, all my posts, pictures the whole heap. I closed down all the windows, opened them again. Still nothing. Lee was able to see it, but I couldn’t.
Eventually it started to work. I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
There are still a few problems, old comments remain as The Geeky G4mer, places where you linked to me will not redirect and I am not sure if I even show in your readers anymore, can someone let me know if I do?
There are going to be teething problems, but the bulk of the move is now complete and hopefully now that I am happy (well for the meantime anyway), I can concentrate my writing and hopefully providing you with some laughs!
When you’re young, don’t know any better and in fact couldn’t care less about the effects that both age and gravity are going to have on your body, you do the Baywatch run.
You imagine you look like Pamela Anderson. Everything goes in slow motion, as you gracefully sprint from A to B all tanned and goddess like, smiling at your adoring fans with your pearly white teeth.
As you get older, you do the Mummy run, regardless of whether you are actually a mother or not.
You imagine everyone is looking at you, but nit for the right reasons. You can’t get from A to B fast enough and you need to have the arms of an octopus to hold down all the bits of your body that used to be pert and gravity defying. All this and trying to hang on to your handbag as well, not an easy task!
My work colleague (mother) and I (not a mother) discussed this the other night on the way home and almost wet ourselves laughing, another side effect as we get older!
The Indecisive Eejit 