Blog Pitch Party 2: Pitch Your Blog And Attract New Followers

Folks Austin is offering an amazing way to meet new people. I think everyone would benefit from meeting you all, so throw your two pence in!

Austin's avatarThe Return of the Modern Philosopher

invitedSince Spring Training has started, I’ve certainly got pitching on my mind, Modern Philosophers.

However, not all pitching is limited to the type that takes place on a baseball field.

I’ve been thinking about the wildly successful Blog Pitch Party I threw back in July, and I thought it was time to host another.

As you know, I’m also a screenwriter.  When I was lived in California, I’d get invited by producers to a pitch meeting.  Basically, they’d ask about my scripts, and then based on a few sentences from me, they’d decide if they were interested in reading any of them.

keep wrtingI thought that same progress would work perfectly with blogs.  Why not bring a little Hollywood to the blogging world, Modern Philosophers?

In the comment section, pitch your blog.  Give us the name, a link, and up to three sentences describing your blog.

If you choose to participate…

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Looking around…

I have itchy feet..or perhaps that should be hands. Every so often I will get the idea into my head that I would like a little blog change, and before you start to panic, I don’t mean the name, I’m quite content with being an Indecisive Eejit, well for now anyway. I do however mean a fresh look, a little interior design so to speak.

For the last couple of weeks I have trawled through the numerous themes on WordPress, but I can’t seem to find anything that jumps out and slaps me round the face as well as a wet kipper (don’t ask). There are a few I like, unfortunately they are the ones that require me to part with cash, which I am not prepared to do right now, mainly cos I have none spare. So in the meantime in order to try and pacify myself I changed my background colour, go me, that’s creativity for you all right!

I still need to make the changes to ensure that May Dupp is incorporated back into the blog, but short of having her jump out of a box in the middle of your screen I’m not sure how I can do that. I’d also like a new banner, I did try to sketch one, or doodle one, or whatever, but it was, for want of a better word, shit and relegated to the trash can. So back to the drawing board.

That said, while doing all this thinking and pondering, I went into my media library on here and decided to clean out some of the pictures that had never actually made it onto posts. In doing so I viewed others that had been linked, and decided to check out the posts. The result, I’ve written some really random shit over the last two years, but I have a smile on my face.

I decided to share, look at it this way, it’s something to do for five minutes if you’re bored. Without further ado, here are my top five posts from tonights browsing:

Hanging by a Sliver…

What do you wanna do?

The Geeky G4mer Gallery

Ha Ha Ha!

What if?…wait….did someone say dragon!!

I need to get back to writing like this, my mind is not as weird and wonderful as it used to be!

Settle Down

Unicorn

If you read the tips pages on WordPress, they advise that you should never apologise for an absence, so I won’t, I shall simply start with hello again. That said, those of you who have followed me for a while are well used to my absences.

I didn’t write last week, I didn’t even read much. As far as weeks go, it was the worst one in a long time. There was so much going on and things were continually piling in on top of each other. The Mothership was stressed and seeing things under the table, and I was stressed wondering how I was going to extract a urine sample from her, whilst worrying about the fact she was seeing things under the table. I end up walking around with constant nausea because worry turns my stomach into a washing machine.

Imagine a day where you have a shadow and that shadow is constantly talking at you and getting irritated when you don’t understand. Imagine finishing all the housework and finally sitting down only for the door to open and the shadow to appear asking yet another question which means you have to get up cos you need to be shown what it relates to. To finally get to sleep at 4am to be woken the next morning to start the routine of dressing the shadow. I may turn to alcohol!

Work was just as bad, I’m finding it really stressful. I get up in the morning and feel nauseous because I have no idea what I am going in to. I leave work and feel nauseous because I have no idea what I am coming home to. I’m not sleeping which of course makes everything seem ten times worse than it actually is.

I broke down in work the other day and told my boss I was not cut out for the job and that I couldn’t do it. I hate to admit failure, but, that’s genuinely how I feel, my job is making me feel stupid, which in turn is giving my already low confidence a good boot in the balls. He was very nice about it, but he more than likely thinks I am a fruit loop. Ah well if the cap fits.

Phew, I feel better after writing all that and now I’ve left myself with nowhere to go. I really don’t want hugs or kind words or commiserations, I just needed to get that off my chest. With a few nights good sleep (hopefully) I’ll be dead on. Tell me a joke instead or something random that will make me smile!

Missed you lot.

(I deliberated about posting this, because I really do not want sympathy, if it’s this hard for me, imagine what it must me like for the Mothership, but I promised myself a while ago I would write the good and the bad and that’s what I need to do. Better out than in as the man says!)

If We Were Having Coffee – Sitting Down With 18-year-old Me

Love this post! Well worth a read. Please make sure you like Norm’s post and not my reblog if you like it :)

Norm 3.0's avatarNorm 3.0

Image courtesy of amenic181 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net Image courtesy of amenic181 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dude if we were having coffee I would tell you that you’re a fine young man but you’re also a bit of an idiot.

You’re at what I call the age of infinite wisdom. You think you know everything and no one can tell you a damn thing. Well Norm, I’m here from your future to tell you that right now: You. Don’t. Know. Shit.

It’s not your fault. You’re only 18 and there’s still so much you have to learn.

You can wipe that stunned look off your face too. Yes this is what you’re going to look like 32 years, 150,000 cigarettes, too many 60-hour work weeks, one major surgery, and 40 pounds from now.

Oh yeah that’s right, you haven’t even started smoking yet. Hey, maybe it’s not too late…

Okay so listen up. In about a year you’re going to meet this girl see. Yeah I know, it’s always about…

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Moving on

Moving On

At some point I am going to have to make the conscious decision to sell all my CD’s. I no longer have a stereo in my room, it had to be removed to make room for the Xbox One. Something new comes in, something old goes out.

When I started work 23 years ago, my Kenwood stacking system was the first thing I bought with my very first monthly wage packet. Since then it has served me faithfully and been with me through every heartbreak, happiness and general hassle. It’s played the CD’s that have provided the soundtrack for my life so far.

Life however has moved on and technology has evolved. I would never have guessed then that I would one day carry in my pocket a little machine that could house my entire music collection, never mind shuffle it at the touch of a button.

I’ve been wracking my brains to try and remember what the very first CD I bought was and I am not 100% sure, but I believe it might have been a little 3″ effort containing Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith. More than likely I had no money left after purchasing the stereo.

Over the years I have amassed quite a collection of CD’s, which for the last couple of years since I purchased an Ipod have been gathering dust. It’s time to consider passing them on to someone who actually wants them, but somehow it feels like you are giving away little pieces of your memory, little pieces of a life lived. While they are not gone forever, because they can be imported to digital, they are no longer there to look at, open and peruse. At the end of the day though does that really matter, as long as I can listen to the music.

What started this train of thought, well the need for extra shelf space and the importation of the amazing album ‘Graceland’ by Paul Simon. I was bopping through every word of this post! Enjoy :)

To Comment or Not to Comment..

After a conversation last night, I went looking for this post. The subject matter of the discussion centered around comments and my explanations as to why I do not always leave one.

Although this post was originally written in July 2013, most of it still applies, except the one about the blog gods, I figured out eventually there is no such thing. I was new and foolish, don’t judge me. 

A new one to add to the reasons, is time, as in not having enough of it.

Regardless, rather then reblog,  I though I would just re publish the post. 


To comment or not to comment, that is the question…..

I won’t like a post, unless I actually like a post. I’m not in the habit of just scrolling down my reader merrily clicking as I go, not reading anything.  Quite the opposite, I try to read everything. However unless you knew my strategy, you would perhaps assume I am a serial liker as I seldom back up my choices with a comment.

Comments scare me.

There are a few reasons for this, and you will most likely laugh when you read them and in your head reaffirm my status as an eejit, but here they are none the less. It may even help me to become more proactive on the commenting front and you to understand why you don’t always see one.

Firstly we have the blog gods, you know the ones, always on Freshly Pressed and quite rightly so. Super slick blogs and superior content that makes you want to cry because you know no matter how long you blog, or how well you blog, you will just never be in that league. Every time you see one of their posts in your reader you leave it until last because you know it’s going to be the best.

All their posts get over 100 likes and probably around the same amount of comments, each one a beautifully crafted little nugget of wisdom or humour. I can’t compete with that. In I’d wade with my big clod hoppers and muddy the clear waters, by posting something that made me laugh out loud but everyone else would look at and go, what the f……..!

The blog gods would look at little old me and assume I am a serial liker, trying to piggy back off their success to gain views for my own humble offerings.

Secondly you have the posts that make you heart sore. You read it and just want to reach into the screen, pull out the writer and hug them like there is no tomorrow. You want to comment so badly, even if it is just to let them know you understand, but words fail. There is nothing you can say that is going to make any difference, and any offerings you can think of just seem insignificant to the words of wisdom from others. I like these posts and leave, because I never know what to say.

Then we have the gaming posts and movie reviews. If I don’t know enough about the subject matter then I choose not to comment, because to do so would just show my ignorance and lack of knowledge about the post. I love reading them to gain the knowledge and to entertain the possibility of perhaps giving them a try, but usually any comments I make will be questions.

Then I have the circle of blogs I usually do comment on. These people for whatever reason have accepted me, embraced my stupidity and in some cases even encouraged it. Without them I would be lost, because each gives me the courage to carry on and face my commenting fears, by replying and letting me know it’s ok if sometimes I am not the brightest fairy in the forest.

So rest assured, if I follow your blog it is because I find it interesting and would like to revisit, not because I want to use your kudos to move up the ladder. If I comment and you think its nonsense give me the benefit of the doubt, I mean well. If I don’t comment, I probably wanted to, more than you know, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

This blogging malarkey is a learning curve and I am just heading into the bend…..

Mondays Suck!

I’ve decided I dislike Mondays, the start to the long week and the mop up for all that happened at the weekend.

Today was my first Monday morning of train travel in a while. Shelling out £150 was painful on the purse and navigating hoards of teenagers was painful on the leg, but in order to earn a crust it has to be done. I considered another ‘Joys of Modern Travel’ post, something I haven’t done in a while, but I quickly ran out of steam and by the time I sat down at my desk I could no longer be arsed.

On a happier note, I’m typing this on my phone as trees whiz past on my journey home. Another first for a long time. I should be reading, but I’m giving my tired brain a chance to relax from the information overload that some call Monday.

My legs been bothering me, it keeps giving way. I’m hoping its a direct result of navigating stairs and being on my feet more as opposed to something more sinister. I even contacted my physio, but she’s not available to reply until the start of March. It must be bad if I’m actively seeking assistance. Time to ramp up the straight leg raises and hope for the best.

I do have to say however that I am enjoying  the stretch to both mornings and evening. It’s nice journeying to and from work in something other than pitch black.

I’ve just noticed a poster in the carriage that states ‘Life’s better by train’, I’d agree if I didn’t have to change every 5 minutes.

Note to self, must stop moaning!

Happy information overload day people!

This could be a long one….

Shirt N Tie

I’ve a lot to say, so bear with me, this could be a long one.

Ben Howard is playing in the background as I type. I’m attempting to sort out new playlists for my journeys as I am back to train travel as from tomorrow morning. It’s time to get ruthless, some music is going to have to go to make room for more. You’d wonder how with an Ipod which has about 15GB of music I can still be bored.

I’ll miss my traveling companion. At the start, being a bit of a loner at times, I lamented the loss of my blog reading time, but I quickly came to love the chat and banter. While I will again be able to read all the things you guys write, I am really going to miss the company. It made the start and the end of the working day so much more bearable.

Periodically over the last month or so the changes to the WordPress platform have really been getting on my wick, but I refrained from saying anything as it’s a great platform, for which I am very grateful. Now though, I miss the Stats page, my notifications go a little awry, I have to multiple click to get to the old WP Dashboard and is there even any point in me voting that I prefer the older stuff if they are not going to change it. I know I am not the only one who feels like this though, so for once it’s good to be in a majority.

I’ve been having a bit of a clean up with regards to the blogs I follow. I finally got around to removing the ones that were no longer active. Periodically WordPress will still do it’s own cull for me, which is a pain in the arse as it’s usually blogs I want to keep following. I never was the kind of person to just follow someone because they followed me, I will only add if it’s something I actually want to read. It’s hard enough trying to keep up without just following people for the sake of it. Everyday I am being introduced to new ones, keep em coming.

Finally, Wee Blue Birdie, who is well worth a follow if you have not already. kindly put me forward for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award. Those who have followed for a while, will know that I long since stopped doing these kind of awards, however by way of compromise, I did agree to answer WBB’s questions. After finally sitting down to take a good look at them, I was all WTF have I let myself in for, but never one to back down from a challenge, here goes.

The Weird and Wonderful Questions of a Wee Blue Birdie

1. What kind of bird would you be and why? – Well that would have to be a Penguin. Why? just because. They are penguins ffs, they need no justification.

2. Which people of history had the best clothing? – It’s questions like this that make me wish I had studied History a little harder at school. I do have to say though, I liked the 80’s. I used to think I was all that with my white shirt, my pink tie and black beret. If I could go back in time, I’d slap myself senseless! Had I the figure for it, it would be the dresses from the Tudor period, all heaving bosoms and tight corsets. I mean who needs to breathe when your waist is the same size as your thigh.

3. In which film do you wish you had played the lead? What would you have brought to the role? – To be honest I wouldn’t want the lead. I’m more a behind the scenes kind of person. There are no specific roles I would have liked, anything in the Lord of The Rings trilogy would have been fine. I could probably have been an orc, without the use of any make up! What would I bring? Probably chaos.

4. What was your favourite toy when you were a child? – Again there is no one toy that I can remember being overly attached to. I was a lover of cuddly toys and I could have told you where every one came from. I have a Snoopy somewhere in the attic that I was quite fond of, will that do?

5. If you could be in the Olympics, what would your sport be? – Chasing men and trying to get them to kiss me, in a very non stalkerish way of course. Only joking, it would be the javelin, because 4 days out of 7 I already feel like spearing the shit out of things *smiles sweetly*.

6. If you could cure one human illness or disease, what would it be and why? – Aww that’s a hard one, there are so many horrible things out there, but I guess for me personally, it would have to be Cancer and Dementia, I think everyone knows the answer why without me having to explain.

7. What is your favourite urban myth, and why do you want it to be true? – Fairies. Can you imagine being able to go to the bottom of your garden to have a cup of magical tea with a fairy. One I would not want to be true is Banshee’s. One night while slightly tipsy, I stumbled into the house with an urgent need to use the bathroom. Feeling I would be unable to make it up the stairs in time, I used the downstairs one. Whilst in the act of lowering my underwear in order to sit, I heard this high pitch kind of wail. I raised the underwear and sort of stood mesmerized. Silence. Repeat process, and again, the same thing. I was petrified and thought a Banshee was coming for me. When sense set in, I realised it was the whirly washing line twirling in the wind. It’s true what they say, when the drinks in the wits out.

8. What is your favourite unusual word? – Oxter – which means armpits. There is something refreshingly satisfying about saying ‘feck aff, I’m up to me oxters!’. ‘Feck’, now that would be my absolute favourite.

9. How would you like your writing to influence the world, or affect those who read it? – That’s easy, I’d like it to make them smile. Simples.

10. What is the best thing about being you? – That’s a hard question to ask someone with low self confidence who always thinks their glass is half empty. My Family and friends, both in real life and online. They are without a doubt the best thing about being me.

There you go Wee Blue Birdie, just for you. I’m away to lie down, I’m worn out now!

WTF!

Hump Day

I actually don’t have it in me to write a full post tonight. My brain is in tatters. This is all I’ve got:

  1. Today was the day from hell. There were flames licking at my arse and everything. Coming straight after the morning from hell with the Mothership yesterday, I think my head is possibly going to explode.
  2. I thought Katy Perry was amazing at the Superbowl. I have a whole new appreciation of her now after watching her documentary or is it a rockumentary.
  3. Before anyone questions me about the Superbowl, let me stop you, I don’t understand it, I just enjoyed the 12 minutes in the middle. If it makes you feel any better I don’t understand football or rugby either.
  4. I want to support all my friends who are Blogging for Mental Health. They rock!
  5. I can’t even make it to five points, so waffle waffle la la dum de dum etc.

I promise normal service will resume as soon as I recharge my batteries, change jobs, run away and win the lottery :)

Happy Places!

Happy Places

A Prompt Reply mentioned me in her post in relation to Happy Places and issued forth a challenge of sorts by passing on this idea. I don’t normally accept challenges, but this one, well I liked the idea of it, so here goes.

A Prompt Reply herself,  and a host of others provide happy places for me with their own blogs and writings. I have met so many great people through this endeavor and even almost 2 years on, it continues to be a place of enjoyment. I wish I had been writing at the time of my accident, because I believe it would have been very good for my mental health, but hindsight as they say, is a wonderful thing.

House sitting for my Sister and brother in law used to be one of my happy places. The current situation at home means I wouldn’t be able to leave now for more than a few days, but then, I used to love cooking for myself, pottering about and having no one to look after but myself and the cat.

Spending time with my friends is a happy place. It provides much needed laughter and relief from the worries if only for a short time. It’s good to catch up, be goofy and talk shit….yes, my friends are eejits too!

Another happy place is spending time with my other friend and her family. She always manages to make me see sense when my anxiety is in overdrive and provides much needed love and hugs on bad days. A smile from her youngest child never fails to cheer me up. Likewise with her other two.

Another place would be the beach, but I like it when it’s windy and the waves crash against the shore, none of this tits out tanning malarky!

Believe it or not work for me is generally a happy place. I’m not scared to admit I like working, I like being useful and feeling like I can achieve things. I’m never going to be a mover and a shaker, I’m just happy being a me and getting the job done. I hope people regard me as a hard worker and someone who is dependable.

Finally, let us not forget music and gaming, both of which take me to a happy places when the real one is anything but. It’s nice to be able to listen to music and feel transported to somewhere else. Likewise, gaming with friends is another release from stressful days

Granted most of these things are not actual places, but when you work and are a carer, there is little time for anything else and you have to make the most of what you are left with.

Thank you to all of you who read this blog and to whom I follow for allowing me to have a peek inside your happy place and for giving me much needed support over the last two years!

Part of taking up this challenge is to pass it on and see if it continues. I am not going to mention anyone specific, there are too many people who’s responses I would wish to see. Instead I am going to ask, that if you are so inclined, you write your own post about your happy places, because I would be very interested to hear what they are. You are or course, more than welcome to link back to this post if you wish.

So, that begs the question, what is your happy place?