Life in General!

Weekend Wonderings

The Indecisive Eejit46 Comments

I seem to go through little periods of thinking. I shouldn’t think, it’s bad for me.

Every now and then I will question my need for this blog or where I fit into the so called blogsphere. I don’t have a niche as such, I’m more a bits and pieces of everything.

When starting I suppose my intention was to be a humour blog, but then life changed and all the humour kinda got sucked out of it and me. I’d still like to think I am marginally funny, or at least working my way back to that point. But as a wise man once said, self praise is no recommendation.

I think I have changed since I started writing way back in 2013, I’m not sure if it is for the better. Somewhere along the line while looking for someone to adult I realised that it was actually me, I was supposed to be the adult, well that was a steep learning curve I tell ya. Someone needs to write one of those yellow books entitled ‘The Idiots Guide to Adulting’. I could certainly have made use of it.

I did grow up, I dealt with seriously injuring my leg, which led to my first ever surgery, followed by becoming  a carer, followed by perhaps a little depression and a whole host of anxiety from these past events. Through counselling I realised I was an introvert and that I more than likely have mild social anxiety issues. People keep telling me I need to push through and force myself to do more, but for me that’s like standing at the edge of a boiling cauldron with everyone urging me to jump. Why can it not be enough for people that I am trying!

What does that mean for this blog, does it mean that I have outgrown it and is it time to give up and move on, or does it mean that I just let it evolve with me and see where the journey takes us both.

I want people to read what I write because they are genuinely interested in what I have to say. But I also want them to understand that I am geeky and awkward and not always sure of how to reply to the awesome comments that are left.  I want to write whatever my wonky little brain desires without people worrying I am going to fall off the edge of the earth.

I’ve been enjoying doing some of the fiction challenges, they make me think, but in a good way. They challenge me to hone my writing skills and they give me something else to focus on other than the inside of this rut I seem to find myself in.

When do you realise that enough is enough? When do you realise that it is time to move on, or when do you stop building barriers for yourself and just get on with the job at hand. I tell myself that likes and follows don’t matter and I mean that, but the interaction does. I love this community and I would miss it.

So I stay, but I don’t really evolve. I wonder if six months down the line people would even remember who I was. Perhaps they would say, you must remember her, you know, the weird girl from Ireland with the ginger hair. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t find that offensive, I quite like being weird :)

Perhaps one day I will eventually figure out who I am. Then I can figure out what here is. And we can all live happily ever after.

Until then I guess I just continue to be happy, be weird and be an eejit!

46 thoughts on “Weekend Wonderings”

  1. I don’t have a niche either! Early on, I decided not to box myself in anyway. I don’t do that in real life, why do it with my corner of the Internet? Keep on writing. I enjoy your words. I don’t always have time to comment or like but I’m here.

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    • Aww thank you. Likewise. I think sometimes that gets to me too, there are just not enough hours in the day to keep up with everyone all the time.
      I punish myself for that sometimes, but the reality is, we all understand.

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  2. I love your posts too! There are absolutely not enough hours in the day, it’s a darn shame! But keep writing if you still enjoy it, and don’t worry about evolving or fitting in – you are you, and we love that ❤

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  3. You know, I quit blogging once. It was after my surgery and my head was swirling from going through so much and I just didn’t have it in me anymore. Now that things are settled down and I’m healthier, I’m back. I feel like even if I go, I will always end up coming back. Writing is my entertainment, my therapy, my connection. I suspect the same goes for you. Also, you’re pretty damn good at it. So, there’s that. If you left, some sucky blogger would take up your space and we’d have to put up with that. Do you want that kind of guilt on your shoulders? Think of the children!!!!!!!!!

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    • You’re right, I probably would keep coming back, like a yoyo!
      The children, sure they could run rings round me in the blogging world and probably teach me a thing or tow about computers as well lol

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  6. I think you answer your question Juls: “”I want to write whatever my wonky little brain desires without people worrying I am going to fall off the edge of the earth.””
    I think if we all look back on where we started in the blog and to where we are now there has been change. It would be nice to think we are better for the experience, we have met some amazing people along the way, and in my case come to a conclusion that as long as I write for ME no evil will I fear.
    When I started a friend said to me that my blog was mine and I should write what I want in it…and so I do…I explore ideas, some is based on ‘truth’ a lot is just as i say, explorations of ideas because I think that is what writing is about, that is how we evolve our skills. I pick and choose what I write because I feel for me with some prompts the same questio is being asked and how many ways can I answer it so I opt out and wait for a prompt I find challenging and then I have a go. An example wpould be yesterday’s MMLM writing prompt:
    https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/05/21/writing-prompt-sunday-may-21st-peculiar/
    I’m not sure I addressed the task but I did find the notion of writing something peculiar well worth spending some time on as I like the absurd side of things.
    So my comment is do what you feel comfortable with. Its your blog, do what you like with it.
    I hope you do as I do enjoy reading what you have to say as well as I did enjoy listening to your music response the other day.
    Have agood day.

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    • Thank you. I do try and write for myself, but I suppose the underlying anxieties always have a way of needling themselves into my brain. I’m always s worrying that I might offend someone who reads. Crazy isn’t it when the logical part of my brain knows the have the freedom of choice whether to read or not.

      I’m always in awe of how much fiction you write, but yet two stories are never alike, unless intended. It takes me all my time to think of 100 words, but as I said I anjoy the challenge. I’ll have to have a read of the MLM one.

      I think what I need to do it just relax, chill and go with the flow, which for someone like me is not an easy task!! lol

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      • If your attitude is to chill, relax and go with the flow after a while you will feel more confident…..I wouldn’t worry about upsetting anyone, think of it as literary challenge…lol

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  7. I am probably the wrong person to give advice here, so I will just say that I get it and for you to do what you want, we’ll love ya still <3

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  8. I go through phases (am actually in one right now), where I just don’t feel like writing. Then something epically funny or devastating will happen, or I’ll just get a hair up my ass, and I’ll jump back in it. Take the pressure off of yourself. When you feel like writing, write. When you don’t, don’t. And screw having a niche. It’s like having self-imposed rules that take the fun out of it all. Keep on being weird, girl.

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  9. I get what you mean about worrying how people might wonder where you went to when you don’t post. Or, how to phrase comments. It’s all tricky. But, since you aren’t concerned with follows and likes, but in building genuine community, as long as everyone is aware that you might take breaks from blogging here and there, that little bit of anxiety might be quelled. You are who you are and your readers will love you for it, comment back or not.

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  10. If you don’t pop up on my WP Reader I come looking for you Juls (not in the creepy stalking kinda way, but just because I miss your posts) because I have made a point of connecting with a few bloggers and engaging with them. From the comments above others share my sentiments which are to keep blogging, connecting and cutting yourself lots of slack. And I love there is another introvert out there doing it in her special way making this corner all about her unique contribution to the voice of on-line writers. Chin up. I think niche this or that is cliche and quite honestly who the hell cares. When I started blogging I did a 101 class that was all about finding my voice (big, loud and hiding behind this screen) and identifying my niche. Well, so many years later I still haven’t figured out what my pompous niche is and hope I never do. I’m not marketing myself and if I were I’d be as rich as Baldrick after his night working the docks (Black Addder, I think he made threepence, a wondrous achievement given his facial hair). Take a break and come back when you’re ready. You’ll know, and we’ll be here. 🙂 Cyber hugs Linda

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    • Thanks Linda. Us introverts, well, we rule!
      I wish I’d realised years ago that’s what I was, so many things would have made much more sense.
      I’m glad of people like you who i have been fortunate enough to meet. Sometimes we think we’re alone, but we’re not and we never are, there are so many other like minded people.

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  11. I like your posts. Lots of my favourite blogs don’t seem to fit into a niche, you’re just fun to read, and funny!
    I remember a while ago you wrote (maybe on the big up your blog facebook group) that you never know how to respond to comments. It really surprised me becauase you always seem so natural and fun with your responses- it’s like chatting to a mate. I am always really chuffed if you do respond, but I don’t expect you to.
    You are an excellent eejit. If you decide to keep writing, i’ll keep reading. 😀

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    • Aww thanks, sometimes it’s like I’ll write something and then wonder if anyone else will get my sense of humour, or I worry I’ve said the wrong thing.
      It’s good to know I’m not as bad as I think and these comments are good for anxiety ridden little old me because I can refer to them and try a different teach myself that I’m actually an ok person :)

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      • You should totally keep coming back to read these comments whenever you feel anxious about blogging!! 😀

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  13. Juls, I get this. I find mine is not niche either. But if you’re enjoying it, keep it up! I love reading your posts :)

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  15. I found myself agreeing with most of the comments here, you answered your own question through the act of writing. As long as you keep getting something positive out of writing, you should keep going. Our lives evolve in ways we don’t understand until that familiar friend of hindsight provides an explanation. I don’t act like I did in my 20’s now and certainly don’t expect to act like I do now in my 80’s. Our lives are forever evolving and as such, anything we put our stamp on will evolve with us. A blog is a fantastic way to see that evolution happen over time when you go back and read some of your past posts. If you keep writing, I’ll keep reading and commenting :-)

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  16. Oi! It’s me – your sister is serious silliness. I’ve had an averted ( I hope) computer crisis and internet operating platform co-conspiracy thingy which means I’ve had to switch out and re-cast myself – again. (I think Chrome and Google are in bed smoking pack after pack with Microsoft because, er … the inter-discourse is so damn good, but I digress.)
    Right, listen, I’ve tried all kinds of nutsy fey since LLF (you remember LemonLimeFollies? the good old days?) and some of it has been “niche” blogging, some of it a whole mess of I have no clue – and I’ve bounced back and forth and “walked the dog” with my yo-yo, which only results in my having whomping headaches and black-eyed bruises – I was never good with a yo-yo. And I’m just saying, first of all – this is your space, and the more you try to define it? the more boxed in you’ll feel – so stop worrying and just let you be you – which is more than awesome, even if you wear penguin pyjamas (which I actually think is great) –
    As for “who you is?” – How about “you are you” and I am me and we all “just are” …. and that’s more than enough.
    As for content? – How about write whatever you want, in whatever form it take stylistically, subject matter as you wish, whether it’s personal or a prompted creative pen dip and doodle …. it’s ALL more than good – what’s important?
    WeLoveYou ❤💜❤ (hey those hearts are supposed to be red – at least 2 out of 3, as recommended by dentists) – and that you just show up – when you can – and stop worrying about “end products and results” …. so yeah, “as you were/are” my ginger-haired Irish friend – didn’t you write, not too long ago “buckle up bitches, we’re in for a ride”?? 😲
    [Pat the scribbling dipsh*t]

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    • Ah my long lost Sister in silliness, I am very glad to hear from you :) I’m glad the crisis is over and you have returned once more :)
      Thank you, I think I’m going to spend some time learning to love myself and that in time everything else will follow.
      With people like you in my corner how could I fail :) xx

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      • Glad to hear that you’re doing good – one step at a time, and watch out for dog poo 😉
        Always happy to share in your triumphs and turnips too …. cause that’s what friends are for 💚💜❤

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  19. So can relate to this. Having been writing for a living for almost a decade now, it’s only recently that I finally started with my blog so I can write for myself and not for others. Still finding my own voice at the moment (www.weeknightly.wordpress.com). Hope I can find it soon like you have! Good lookin’ out, Indecisive Eejit! 🙂

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