I’m thinking of changing the tag line on my blog, that’s if I even have one. It’s going to say ‘The blog of Updates’ because of late that is pretty much all I have managed. I want to change that, that said, what I want and what I do are usually very different things.
Thanks to everyone who has enquired about my Mum, it’s been a very weird time. Two weeks ago give or take a few days, she got sectioned, primarily we think because of her refusal to eat and drink. She’s now in a dedicated Dementia ward where they are trying to work through her issues and use medication to try and give her some sort of peace. She is not being compliant and is starting to kick off with them they way she did in the house and basically not eating or drinking very much at all. It’s really hard to watch and emotionally I have to be honest and say I am finding it very difficult. There are endless processes and procedures to be followed and a steady supply of forms that need completed and all I want to do is crawl into bed and not surface again until everything has been sorted out.
I’m very lucky that work have been understanding and I am hoping that my first session of counselling comes through soon because I feel I really need it. My anxiety has been really bad and despite using some of the techniques I have had success with before, it is not easing any. I need someone else to pick me apart and then tell my how to rebuild myself, installing coping mechanisms as I go.
I know the Fathership has been finding all of this hard too. I worry about him and I have no doubt he worries about me and my Sister. All three of us worry about the Mothership. There have been tears, very many tears, usually mine it has to be said.
I think going forward I probably might not write about this any more, not here anyway. I need a distraction and something else to focus on. I used to say that time was my enemy and when the Mothership was here that was certainly the case as there was not enough of it. Now however, even though I still need to cook and clean and do all the things I did before, I do have more time and yet still I have not been able to write, so perhaps the problem was me all along. I’m like a fence, I need to get over myself.
The intention would be to write more, I just have no idea what it is I am going to write about, but then again do I ever. Waffling seems to be one of my better traits.
I hope you have all been well, feel free to let me know what’s been happening! :)