My Udderly Amazing Mucker!

So whilst traveling home on the train this evening, I figured that same as I had started to tell you about my work colleagues, it was only fair that I offered a little light on some of my other friendships. So having mentioned her before I figured that the logical place to start is with “Udders.”

Udders and I have known each other for a long time, however it was only in the last 10 years or so that a friendship started to form.

Throughout my working life, Udders has been the best source of entertainment ever. In fact in the days when Monkey worked with us as well, there was never a dull moment.

How do you describe Udders, well for one thing she is no lady, but then I guess none of us really are. We are brash, a little crude and swear like troopers sometimes…actually a lot of the time. I know it’s not something to be proud of, but hey, people told me I have to be honest on here and it is MY blog after all! We can however do refinement, if the occasion calls for it.

Udders doesn’t do quiet to well. Although I live miles away from her, we can have a perfectly clear telephone call without the need for a telephone. Ok, so perhaps that is a slight exaggeration, but my chum is the Duchess of the Decibels. We were on a shopping trip one day and whilst in the chemist I had to ring My Dad, who is called Jack to ask if he needed anything. Realising it was my Father on the phone Udders proceeds to run riot up and down the aisles shouting “Hi Jack” at the top of her voice. To this day I still don’t think she understands why we were escorted from the shop!

Grape Dink
An Udderly Ridiculous Grape Statue of Udders!

Once when Udders was on holiday and I was missing her terribly I decided to make her a little welcome back present. I made a statue of her from grapes. By the time I had made the head and her ummm assets, there was nothing left for any other limbs! Remarkably everyone knew who it was!

Udders is also the type of person you want to have with you on a photoshoot, especially one for Facebook. She will do pretty much anything you ask her to, from hanging upside down from trees, riding The Mad Mouse ( a big dipper in Bangor), planking, and many many other things. You name it she has done it. If she’s refuses to do it, she’s usually photo shopped in whether she likes it or not.

It was the cow print pj’s that did the trick!

A night out is never a dull affair, especially if she has had a glass of wine or three. Take the classic night in Spur for example, when the waiter who must have been all of about 20, comes to the table to take our order. Udders says to him, “I’ll have the Steak,” to which the waiter replies, “Which Size?” “7 inches” says Udders totally unabashed. The whole table burst out laughing, but it took a little while for the penny to drop that she should have in fact said ounces!

Sure she can be udderly annoying sometimes, udderly stupid (in a bimbo kinda way) and sometimes downright udderly ridiculous (pretty much all the time actually lol), but on top of those great things she is also funny, entertaining, loving and udderly amazing. I mean come on, who’s perfect, life would be boring if we were.

She’s my Udderly Amazing Mucker! and I love her to bits!

Entertain the Eejit!

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