Things you should know

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I did’t stop for coffee this week, so having no other way to update you I am going to do it now, very quickly and most likely in the form of a listing type thing. Seriously, I have become a lady of the lists since I started my new job, it’s the only way I can cope.

Training the top box

Once upon a time, while bored and surfing the Internet I came across an App for brain training called Elevate. When you have no idea whether or not Dementia is going to come knocking at your door,  trust me, you do all you can to assist the old grey matter. I wish I hadn’t bothered, because it just proved what I have known for a long time…..I’m fecking stupid.

It’s a good App and I am enjoying the challenges, however sometimes it speaks to me in a language I do not understand. I don’t mean a foreign language, it uses words like alliteration, which to me sounds like a rave at a rubbish tip, or algorithm, a dancing plank? cos in my head when I see that I hear a – log – o – rhythm.

What however did surprise me was that I aced the estimations for the Maths test, strange considering I passed both my English ‘O’ Levels, but never my maths. Apparently since I have aged my brain has gone all arse about face (back to front, for those not in the know).

I have no doubt that as I progress the tests will get harder causing either one of two things to happen, a) my brain will explode or b) my phone will as I bounce it against the wall in frustration.

Social Media

I am, by my own admission, pretty rubbish at the whole social media thing. I know (because Google says so) that in order for Facebook pages etc to work they must be regularly updated. What I didn’t know (thanks Google), is that telling a rubbish joke once a month is not classed as a regular update. Note to self, improve networking technique.

What I was amazed about however is how far a post can go just from a few likes. A FB page will give you insights into how well a post has done. One with no ‘likes’ will perhaps only be viewed say 5 times. One with 4 ‘Likes’ can lead to views of 100 people. It’s fascinating yet scary, and shows that my friends are very popular…damn them!

On the strength of this, I decided to host a little experiment and see how far a post of mine would go. It made it to the end of the street, that’s a result right?!

Wanna like my page on Facebook? – You can HERE . I regularly update with one joke a month :)

That’s all I’ve got you’ll be glad to hear. Till next time eejits :)

Unsociable Interaction!

Photograph by Jason Howie (click for more info)

Whilst traveling home on the train tonight a friend remarked about how the simple art of conversation has died out and everyone seems to be on some kind of mobile device or other. I could only hang my head in shame, as I am one of those people!

What on earth did we do before mobile phones and technology? How did we amuse ourselves? It seems like such a long time ago, it’s hard to imagine a life without gadgets.Read More »

Well hello there 2014!

Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!


It’s 363 Days till Christmas!

Santa Sprouts
Santa Sprouts!

It’s kind of hard to believe that it’s all over for another year. The build up seems to take forever. We begin planning from the start of December, or for some even before and then it arrives and if you blink you miss it.

My Sister and I managed just fine with the cooking, well no one died, so thats got to be a result right? I had my brussel sprouts (thank you for asking Audrey Dawn lol) The effects were not too catastrophic, well until later in the evening that is, when I donned the penguin onesie given to me by Udders. After a brief spell of high winds I pretty much looked like this:

Fart in a Wetsuit
Never fart in a Onsie!

I did get lots of  lovely goodies though, including some other penguin things. I was delighted with everything. Hey as long as there are sweets and stationary I am a happy camper. Add in a Geek fleece blanket and some new sketch pads and it’s a match made in heaven!

I’m not however loving the weather we are having just now. Tonight has been high winds and heavy rain. I keep thinking at any moment the roof is going to blow off leaving me seeing stars, quite literally! I suppose it’s to be expected. Think about the sheer volume of sprouts consumed over the festive period, all that extra gas has to go somewhere. Thing is though, we’ve had these high winds for a while now, so could you all try and point your arses in a different direction to see if it makes any difference.

Oooo that reminds me, there was more good news as well…..wait for it…..I reached 200 followers!! I would show you the little badge only WordPress hasn’t given me one yet, perhaps I have to get 201 for that to happen. I know it’s a little confusing because my side bar says 280, but that’s the figure including Facebook and Twitter.

Thank you to those who pushed me into the path of their followers (yeah that means you Strawberry Quick Sand), reblogged me, bigged me up, and in a nut shell got me the additional followers I needed to reach my goal! It’s possibly the first time I have ever reached a personal target in my life, well apart from trying to make myself float in a penguin onesie that is.

I hope you all had an enjoyable and Happy Christmas. There are only a few days left until the start of 2014, and I very much look forward to seeing you all on the other side!

Bollox to Bakebook!

It took Lee 30 seconds to make up a new cartoon for me!

I’m beginning to dislike Facebook. My use of the word ‘beginning’ would of course imply that I liked it in the first place, however that’s not strictly true.

I’ve tolerated it, it does after all have uses, like keeping in touch with friends and family overseas.

I’ve had many a fun post or three with my good friends Udders and Monkey, silliness that kept us laughing into the wee small hours. We have also shared many a photograph that has kept others laughing into the wee small hours. It hasn’t all been bad.

Perhaps it’s me, or the mood I have found myself in lately, but these days I find I have no inclination to check news feeds, unless it’s Udders showing us all her new chest and drawers, oops I mean chest of drawers!

My news feed is littered with game requests, farm animals, what the world and his wife are having for dinner, memes about wine and people whining!
I mean for feck sake give me a break, the world is full of enough doom and gloom without me having to read all about it on Facebook as well.

When I was off with alien leg, I used to put updates on regarding the current status of my recovery. What can I say, I’m lazy, and it was the easiest ways to reach a lot of people in one swift smack of the return key, but unbeknownst to me I turned into one of those people and all it took was an off the cuff, unintentional comment from someone to make me realise. I stopped posting publically about my leg and just answered personal messages instead. I know I should not let something someone says affect me or stop me from adding a status, but I don’t want to become one of the Facebook people I myself try to avoid.

In the few times since, when I have had a lapse and posted an ‘oh poor me post’, I’ve caught myself on, slapped myself repeatedly about the face and then deleted the comment. If I really need to vent, then I have a blog for that! If I need to talk about how crap my life is, then I’ll start a new blog for that too.

So why do people do it? Why do they feel that they need to inform their followers of every bad turn they ever take in their lives. Boredom, sympathy, support, help? I have no idea, but there are very few people in the world living the lives they wished for, or hoped for, but they seem to get by just fine without having to publish it for all and sundry to see.

So, this leaves me with a conundrum, do I leave Facebook again, for like the 9 millionth time, or do I just stop reading. There are pros and cons for both.

I’d miss Udders and the fun we have, even though neither of us are feeling too funny right now. I’d miss Monkey and the pictures of her niece who is a cute as a button. I’d miss updates from friends and family overseas as they journey forth in their new lives. I’d miss all Lee’s hilarious and geeky little memes, that do actually make me laugh. I’d also miss my Indecisive Eejit page on which I share all Lee’s hilarious and geeky little memes. See told you I was lazy!

I won’t however miss:

Join us in Farmville! You’ve got ginger hair, you can be a carrot!
Join us in Farmville 2! It’s better than Farmville 1.
Join us in Farmville 3! We know where you live!
Join us in Far……..ah just feck off Farmville.
30 second updates over the course of an hour regarding the preparation of your dinner, which then turns into a chew by chew account of your consumption of it. Seriously, I’ve just stood for an hour cooking my own. I’m at my dinner limit, get over it!
Updates on how crap your life is. I know it sucks, honest I do, sometimes mine does as well, but telling us about it and hash tagging it with FML is not going to miraculously make it better.
Competitions, share and like, blah blah blah! It’s all a con, they just want more likes for their page, although I did succumb once and enter a competition for the most amazing chair on the planet! If I win it, I will retract this statement. Prove me wrong Facebook, go on, I dare ya!
Miscellaneous game requests! Do you see my name on it, do I have a high score? No? Then take the feckin hint, I don’t want to play it.
I could go on, but I can’t be bothered, I’ve worn myself out!

I think for the sake of my sanity it’s time to disappear again for a little while and just use my Indecisive Eejit page, which you can feel free to like, if unlike me you are still feeling the love for Facebook!

My Udderly Amazing Mucker!

So whilst traveling home on the train this evening, I figured that same as I had started to tell you about my work colleagues, it was only fair that I offered a little light on some of my other friendships. So having mentioned her before I figured that the logical place to start is with “Udders.”

Udders and I have known each other for a long time, however it was only in the last 10 years or so that a friendship started to form.

Throughout my working life, Udders has been the best source of entertainment ever. In fact in the days when Monkey worked with us as well, there was never a dull moment.

How do you describe Udders, well for one thing she is no lady, but then I guess none of us really are. We are brash, a little crude and swear like troopers sometimes…actually a lot of the time. I know it’s not something to be proud of, but hey, people told me I have to be honest on here and it is MY blog after all! We can however do refinement, if the occasion calls for it.

Udders doesn’t do quiet to well. Although I live miles away from her, we can have a perfectly clear telephone call without the need for a telephone. Ok, so perhaps that is a slight exaggeration, but my chum is the Duchess of the Decibels. We were on a shopping trip one day and whilst in the chemist I had to ring My Dad, who is called Jack to ask if he needed anything. Realising it was my Father on the phone Udders proceeds to run riot up and down the aisles shouting “Hi Jack” at the top of her voice. To this day I still don’t think she understands why we were escorted from the shop!

Grape Dink
An Udderly Ridiculous Grape Statue of Udders!

Once when Udders was on holiday and I was missing her terribly I decided to make her a little welcome back present. I made a statue of her from grapes. By the time I had made the head and her ummm assets, there was nothing left for any other limbs! Remarkably everyone knew who it was!

Udders is also the type of person you want to have with you on a photoshoot, especially one for Facebook. She will do pretty much anything you ask her to, from hanging upside down from trees, riding The Mad Mouse ( a big dipper in Bangor), planking, and many many other things. You name it she has done it. If she’s refuses to do it, she’s usually photo shopped in whether she likes it or not.

It was the cow print pj’s that did the trick!

A night out is never a dull affair, especially if she has had a glass of wine or three. Take the classic night in Spur for example, when the waiter who must have been all of about 20, comes to the table to take our order. Udders says to him, “I’ll have the Steak,” to which the waiter replies, “Which Size?” “7 inches” says Udders totally unabashed. The whole table burst out laughing, but it took a little while for the penny to drop that she should have in fact said ounces!

Sure she can be udderly annoying sometimes, udderly stupid (in a bimbo kinda way) and sometimes downright udderly ridiculous (pretty much all the time actually lol), but on top of those great things she is also funny, entertaining, loving and udderly amazing. I mean come on, who’s perfect, life would be boring if we were.

She’s my Udderly Amazing Mucker! and I love her to bits!

Candy Crush Catastrophe!

img004I’m beginning to think that Candy Crush is a bigger epidemic than bird flu!

The number of hits I have had has been staggering, the wording of search terms amusing.

I have had hits from all over the world all asking the same thing, Candy Crush quests, why am I addicted to Candy Crush, more lives, new sweets…..its never ending! I’m starting to worry for the world as a whole, that we are being sucked into a huge sweetie coated vortex!

What if they start to send out subliminal messages via the game. Unwittingly we will be cast under a blanket spell, at the mercy of the kings at Candy Crush Zombies will start to appear in multi coloured clothing, chomping their way through everything in sight,  excreting striped, wrapped and spotted candies.

People will re name their houses things like, Chocolate Barn, Caramel Cove and Gingerbread Glade.

Tofette will become the most popular girls name ever.

Seriously people, it’s a game! Admittedly it is a very amusing and addictive one, but it is a game none the less.

People have racked up huge bills buying lives, boarding tickets and other candy crunching accessories. If you have Facebook you DO NOT have to pay for anything, you just need to have patience. One of the charms on my app costs £27.99. I was so horrified I removed my details from Play just in case I would accidentally hit the button and purchase one, I certainly would never intentionally pay that amount of money, I couldn’t afford to pay that amount of money!

It’s also made us very antisocial. We don’t sit around and talk anymore. We tap, sigh, point and poke away the hours. I’ve known couples to converse via text or even worse via Facebook.

Am I a Candy Crush addict? I’d say no, but isn’t that what all addicts say. I like to play to pass time, but not to waste time. My removal of mysself from Facebook and subsquetly out of my CC family has not caused  me any anxiety or extra grey hairs. I play my 5 lives and am quite content to wait until they refresh. I do however refuse to pay to board the mode of transport required to take me to the next level, for that I may indeed have to swallow my pride and return to Facebook.

My point, I don’t want to be a Candy Crush Zombie, I can take it or leave it, can you say the same?

Farewell for now Facebook!

6637390653_08fd4611fb_nI deactivated Facebook today. I make it seem like it was such a hard thing to do. Really it wasn’t. I have no cold sweats.

With me it was a bit of a love / hate relationship. I have to hold my hand up and say I have been one of those people who when we’ve taken a funny picture has said, hurry up, get that posted. Some of our posts have been legendary, the kind of laughing that ends in tears, I have some extremely witty friends!

But on the other side I hate all the inane status posts. “I’m putting the dinner on”,  “Nom Nom my dinner was lovely”, “Doing the dishes”. I mean seriously come on, who cares.

Anyone who has read my blog previously will know I play Candy Crush. It gives me something to do on my long train journeys to and from work.That said I am very conscious about not forwarding requests to the non Candy Crushers on my list as I myself know how frustrating it can be to get literally thousands of requests for games you don’t play. BEWARE Bakebook buddies, if I come back  any more Farmville requests and it’ll be a mow down and not a hoedown!

It’s been about 10 hours since the big delete and I have to be honest and say I miss it, but not for the reasons you might think. I miss that I no longer have  pictures for my contacts in my phone and for the fact that I will either have to rejoin or pay for plane tickets in Candy Crush if I want to progress. I’ll miss it for keeping in touch with friends and family overseas, but there is always Skype.

I won’t miss all the little behind the scenes privacy changes that you didn’t find out about until after your details have been plastered all over the net. I won’t miss my location being tagged.  I won’t miss having to dodge people that I just don’t want to add because I know they will be offended by some of our unbelievable stupidity (we forget what age we are sometimes).

How long will I last? Who cares!

Image courtesy of Harco Rutgers