The Voice of the Weekend!

December 14, 2013December 14, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit17 Comments

Pre accident, I was never a fan of ‘the weekend’, in fact all those cheery voices saying ‘Thank feck it’s Friday’ would drive me absolutely banana’s. The reason, well I worked a part time job, so there really wasn’t a weekend to get excited about. Post accident me however, is a whole different ball game, come 5 o’clock and I am jumping up and down and clapping like a seal. I have morphed into the very object of one of my own pet hates!

Sometimes I miss my part time job, but at the moment leg recovery and the situation at home are the main things stopping me from returning, that and I don’t miss the stress one little bit.

I’ve worked as a phone operator for taxi firms since I was 18 years of age. I’ve had 3 marriage proposals, all from drunk men might I add, countless offers of meaningless sex, date requests, flowers, oh and I’ve been threatened twice.

A vast majority of the town in which I live know me, or at least know of me, however only a small handful of them would be able to pick me out in an identity parade, due to the fact they have never actually seen me. They are, for all intents and purposes in love with the voice on the other end of the phone. The funniest thing of all has to be when you are in a bar and realise the group of guys standing beside you are actually discussing you, remarking on what a hot voice you have…..I tend to find things like that quite embarrassing because I personally can’t see the attraction. It’s fun though when they ring the next week and you casually ask them to stop discussing you in public and they are gutted beyond belief that you did not introduce yourself. You can never make them understand that the real life version does not match up to the ‘Jessica Rabbit’ version they have in their heads.

There is no doubt though, that the Irish accent does have it’s advantages, take this simple call with one of BT’s foreign offices for example:

Me: Hi, I have a problem with my modem.

BT Staff member (female might I add): And what seems to be the problem?

Me: It keeps turning itself off.

BT Staff member: M’aam may I ask you a question?

Me: Sure, what is it?

BT Staff Member: Are you a jockey disc?

Me: A what?

Bt Staff Member: A jockey disc.

Me: I’m sorry I don’t know what that is?

BT Staff Member: On the radio, a person on the radio.

Me: Ohh a Disc Jockey (I’m laughing at this point and so is she), no I’m not a jockey disc.

BT Staff Member: Well M’aam I hope you don’t mind me telling you but you have a nice voice, a voice for radio.

Me: Mumbles something incoherent to hide embarrassment.

BT Staff Member: I’ll send you a new modem and it won’t cost you a penny.

Me: Ummm thanks very much, you have a nice day I say as I hang up the phone, bemused and confused but getting a new modem!

By far however the strangest request I have ever had, and believe me there have been many, was a gentleman one night asking me had I ever though about branching out on my phone operator career. What do you mean I asked all ears, thinking he was opening a new firm and trying to poach me. When he told me I had the perfect voice to be a phone sex line operator, there was a stunned silence from my end of the phone. Sensing I was not too keen on his idea, he proceeded to tell me it paid £10 an hour, which in those days was really good money. At that point I might have given a small ‘Hmm’, and seizing what he perceived to be an opening he continued by telling me I would be able to work from home….wait….WHAT!!?? I had a quick mind flash of how this would pan out:

“Oh yes baby, it’s getting really hot and steamy now.” – He doesn’t need to know I am doing the ironing.

“Mmmm honey that’s right, my lust is boiling over, oh actually wait, I’ll brb it’s the feckin spuds.”

I started to laugh at that point and told him I didn’t think that I was suited for the job, but thanked him for considering me.

So if you need anyone cajoled or you want to bargain with someone, I’m your woman, for a small fee I’ll ring them up and mesmerize them with my ‘allegedly” magic voice! I wouldn’t get too excited about it working though, because I am pretty sure that beer not only affects the goggles but hearing as well and in sober reality my voice is decidedly average!

I’m half left!

December 11, 2013December 11, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit12 Comments

Everyone has off days, of course they do. It’s like that old joke when someone asks you if you are alright, and you reply, no I’m half left because if I was all right I’d fall over.

My day was actually fine, the problems started when I got home. Sometimes I just want to go to my room, close the door, climb under the duvet and hide, however the insistent knocking on the door, followed by ‘it’s me again’ makes me want to bang my head repeatedly against the wall instead.

Christmas Card gate is a disaster! My Father remarked he was amazed that I had remained so calm. I didn’t say a word, in fact I kept my mouth tightly shut, because I was scared that if I opened it the shattered remains of my teeth would spill onto the floor. What can I say, in times of great stress I clench and grind!

I’m only beginning to realise how stressful it is to look after a person with a mental illness, and how time consuming it is. It’s also extremely sad to watch someone who you know was a smart, articulate and outgoing individual disappear in front of your very eyes, while trying to convince them that you are not the enemy.

It’s also very hard to remain calm. I think I am getting better, I am certainly trying to. Sometimes it’s just better to walk away, perhaps shed a few tears, have a think and then approach the problem from a different angle. But there is the guilt, always the worry and the guilt.

I fight it a lot. I fight with my own feelings. I didn’t ask for this, but then I guess neither did she. I don’t think I can do it, and then I realise that I have been and I am amazed at the way I have stepped up to the plate and can now sort out tomorrow nights dinner as I cook tonight’s. Simple things I know, but I was used to cooking for one, not running a house for three.

I miss my free time though. I miss being able to ring Udders and say lets go for tea. These days there would have to be a 20 step, 3 day multi action plan before I could consider it. Although the other week I did show my Dad how to fry left over potatoes, so there is progress.

It’s all part of life though isn’t it and these things have to run their course, but sometimes you just need to let off a little steam.

No one said I was always going to be smiley and happy, I am after all half left.

P.s I made a New Year’s resolution I was going to write everything, not just the good stuff on this blog. So just in case the Zombie apocalypse comes before I make it to 2014 I’ve started early!

You know you’ve been watching too much Sci-Fi when…

December 8, 2013December 8, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit13 Comments

Driverless cars — Driverless Pods to be introduced to Milton Keynes.

I’m not a big lover of the news, in fact I usually try to avoid it if at all possible. I have one of those brains that convinces itself that everything bad I hear is going to happen to it, or more importantly us. However, once in a while a story pops up that piques my interest and this was one of them.

UK government paves way for driverless cars

The government has announced that it wants to make the UK a world centre for the development of driverless cars.

There is nothing particularly unusual about that, I am sure the UK was not the first place to think of the idea. For some people there would be certain benefits and it all seems quite space age if you ask me.

Then came this:

By mid-2017 it is planned that 100 fully autonomous vehicles will run on the town’s pathways along with pedestrians, using sensors to avoid collisions.

It was at this point that all my recent Sci Fi watching in Lovefilm caught up with me, and slapped me repeatedly about the face. I read the article but all I could see in my head was a vision of these little cars going mad and driving at people, scattering them like skittles at a bowling alley. What had previously been cute and futuristic became horror film freaky!

In all seriousness though, I am not sure that I would like to sit in a vehicle over which I had no control, although technically that’s what you do when you are a passenger, but you know what I mean. What if it took a turn up a dark alley and that was the last you were ever heard of. Never mind Colonel Mustard in the kitchen, it was the driverless car up the dark alley.

It reminds me of a film I once watched when I was younger called ‘La Cabina‘ about a man who became trapped in a phone box. At the time (I was extremely young) it scared me witless and I didn’t set foot inside a phone box for months. Eventually they brought out ones that had no doors, which I believe (in my head anyway) was a direct result of lots of people being scared witless by this short Spanish cult horror.

So the moral of this story is, well there really isn’t one to be honest, but remember, don’t put your arse in either a driverless car or a phone box unless you’re prepared for the consequences!

Steve’s Monday (that I’m doing on a Sunday) Mix – Week 7

December 8, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

I know I’m late, but at least I’m not so late that the next weeks has been published and as someone obviously extremely smart and talented once said, ‘It’s better late than never!’

Ok, lets have a little refresher of the rules:

Each week Steve will post 3 new questions so…

(1) Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle
(2) Say the questions aloud and press play
(3) Use the song title as your answers
(4) NO CHEATING

Title your post “Steve’s Monday Music Mix – Week…” and link back to that week’s page.

Now for this weeks questions:

Is the grass greener on the other side? – Walkie Talkie – Lady in the Water Soundtrack – If I’m on the other side of a 10ft wall then me thinks a walkie talkie is going to come in rather handy. If I’m on the other side after I have shuffled off this mortal coil, I’m going to wait till it’s pitch black, shout boo and scare the shit clean out of you all!

What will your famous last words be? – Intro – Gorillaz – That would be just my luck, uttering my last words at the introduction to my fame.

What is your theme song? – Pax Deorum – Enya – Had to Google this, so according to Wikipedia Pax Deorum means ‘Peace of the Gods’, go figure I thought there was only one and to be fair he has helped give me peace on several occasions.

If you would like to play, then click on Steve’s picture above, but wait until tomorrow, because there will be a new one!

Thank feck it’s Friday!

December 7, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit18 Comments

So my apologies for being AWOL most of this week, it’s been very up and down to say the least.

Work was hectic, a real blast, and by blast I mean that for most of the week I thought my head was going to explode. For two days straight I looked at nothing but Excel spreadsheets, to the point that when I walked anywhere I saw grid lines in my field of vision. Thank goodness for Princess Leia (named so because of her love for all things Star Wars), who shall from now on be known as Pri-Lei, she ferried me home every night in her spaceship and prepared me for the following day with her many words of wisdom and healthy doses of laughter.

Home was fraught too, I had already been dreading the Christmas Cards, but after writing just one and the trouble it caused, the fear scale has rocketed clean off the chart, which appeared on the gridlines in my field of vision from the accursed Excel. There were other problems too, but for the sake of both your sanity and mine, I will refrain from sharing.

I’m so behind on my blog reading, liking and commenting, apologies one and all. Time has not been something I have had a lot of spare this week and I am worried that this will be the way it is right up until Christmas. I miss my blogging though so will try to make more of an effort.

Now though is the time for sleep, because I am completely done in!

Night night all :) x

Haiku: The Arrival

December 1, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit5 Comments

Ok so my good friend Rob, over at Rob’s Surf Report has started a Haiku challenge.

I have to be honest and say I had no idea what a Haiku was and I have to be even more honest and say that after reading the instructions, I am still at a bit of a loss. For regular readers of my blog, you will already know I am not the most learned when it comes to grammar and all things writing in general, I tend to err more towards the fly by the seat of my pants approach!

So never one to pass up a challenge, or a gentle nudge via a comment (damn you Rob!!) Here’s my attempt. If it’s wrong don’t judge me, I have the satisfaction of saying I tried!

So the genre for this month is: Genre Haiku Challenge: Science Fiction

The Arrival

Flashing lights approach

Ripping past shining bright stars

Hurry they’re here!

This may be my first and last venture into the world of Haiku!

What if you could be thankful?

November 29, 2013May 1, 2020 The Indecisive Eejit19 Comments

Thank You - Frelon — Image by Frelon (Pierre C)

What if you could tell anyone that you were thankful for them or something they had done to make a difference in your life?

Here’s the thing, there are a lot of people in my life (outside of my blog) who I am both extremely thankful for and to. If I were to list them all, it would be the longest post in history and you would be asleep by the second paragraph. Names and incidents would hold no meaning for you, so therefore would not hold your interest.

So lets see if this does:

Dear Indecisive Eejit,

I know you were previously known as ‘The Geeky G4mer’ but I’m pretty sure everyone has forgotten about that now, we have all come to love your new name, it seems to suit you better.

Thanks for coming along when you did, you were just in the nick of time to save me from the brink of insanity. I think I’d gotten a little bit lost along the way and you helped to give me focus and direction. You pushed me and with your guidance I have been able to achieve things I never thought would be possible.

I’m not known for sticking at hobbies or pastimes, I’ll try it for a while, but usually when the going gets tough I bail out. You were smart though, you had a way to combat that and keep me interested. You brought some amazing people to help me, who added their hands to yours and assisted with lifting my spirits.

Every like and comment, whether it be from followers or strangers is like a little pat on the back, urging me forward, keeping me going. Followers are like a shake of the hand. They mean business, they want to stick around. They acknowledge your crazy traits, but still love you anyway. Mind you, you brought me some right loopy ones yourself, but I like that.

You’ve reminded me that reading can be fun and informative. I’ve discovered people with similar problems to my own, who but despite it all remain upbeat and a positive influence for others.

I’m learning every day, geography made easy, just by figuring out where people live. Language, through reading and observing translations. Art appreciation, through photographs and cartoons and even writing. The broadening of my musical horizons and much much more. I would never have managed all this on my own.

I might not get time everyday to like or comment on every post I read, for some posts there is nothing to be added, but I do try and keep up with everything as much as I can.

I’m thankful every day that I have you, even though I might not get to see you every day. You’ve been good for me, you’re helping me find my funny.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to you, and all those other wonderful people you introduce me to everyday…you’re amazing!!

Juls x

Prompted by the Okay, What if? weekly challenge, which can be found here! (there is also a link in the side bar)

Simply Irresistible

November 27, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit19 Comments

I want to go to bed. I’m so tired I’m in danger of waking up where I sit!

Well go to bed then I hear you cry! Well I was, and then I saw todays Daily Prompt.

Daily Prompt: Simply Irresistible

Tell us about the favorite dish or food that you simply cannot turn down.

My weakness is Creme Eggs, I absolutely love them, in fact their arrival is much more anticipated than that of Santa Claus!

Every year between the 1st of January and Easter day these little bundles of gooey goodness make an appearance and my life is complete. It’s a short lived love affair, as after the Easter Bunny has been and gone, the eggs depart and hibernate until the next new year!

I could never understand why more often that not my work colleagues would have a Creme Egg waiting for me at afternoon tea break. I just thought they were being exceptionally nice. Eventually I figured out it was because Creme Eggs gave me something akin to a legal high! Once the ‘E’ Numbers kicked in, I kicked off, a whirling dervish of one liners.

The cold turkey however was not so pleasant, so I had to be sensible and limit my intake, while pleading with my work colleagues to offer me no more temptations!

So now the question I know is on all of your lips! How do I eat mine. Well that’s simple, I’ve even included step by step instructions:

Make sure you are in possession of a Creme Egg. If possible try to con someone else into buying it for you. These ones definitely taste better.
Ensure before you begin the unwrapping ritual that your Creme Egg is at room temperature.
Once said Creme Egg is in your hand stroke it lovingly, before gently starting to unwrap the colourful silver foil. Both you and the egg know that you are, at some point going to bite it’s head off (for once nothing to do with hormones), but you can at the same time show it some respect.
When the silver foil is halfway down, wipe up any drool that seeing the egg in a semi naked state may have induced.
Swiftly bite off the top of the egg, savouring the chocolate taste that has not assaulted your senses for the last 8 months. Prepare for phase 2.
Dip your tongue into the gloopy gooey goodness that is at the heart of each and every Creme Egg. Slurping and dribbling is optional, each to his own.
Devour the remaining egg in one swift snap of the jaws whilst trying to hide the embarrassment you feel that others have witnessed this rare moment of intimacy you just experienced.
Get over the embarrassment and buy a second egg for later. Practice makes perfect :)

Steves Monday Music Mix – Week 6!

November 25, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit4 Comments

This week I thought I’d be a good girl (boo, hiss) and name the challenge what I’m suppsed to!

Wow! Week 6 already, how the time flies. The great Steve changed his pic, so of course I had to steal it, that’s him up above strutting his funky stuff. Click on the picture to be taken direct to the page for this weeks challenge!

So as always, lets start with the rules:

Each week Steve will post 3 new questions so…

(1) Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle
(2) Say the questions aloud and press play
(3) Use the song title as your answers
(4) NO CHEATING

Title your post “Steve’s Monday Music Mix – Week…” and link back to that week’s page.

Post your response in the comment section of that week’s page.

Now for this weeks questions:

What is your first thought on waking up? – You can read all about it – Emeli Sande – You know that’s pretty accurate, if I’ve written the night before, one of the first things I do is check to see if I have any e-mails, which hopefully means someone somewhere liked it. Secondly, if I don’t have to get out of bed just yet, I go straight to my reader and try and catch up on what the rest of you have been up to!

All your life you have wanted to tell someone what? – Lonely Road to Absolution – Billy Talent – Erm, if it’s all about the forgiveness, then yep I need to seek some of that, hey don’t judge, I never said I was always a good girl ;)

When you are angry, what do you scream? – All in my head – Kosheen – Yeah, I pretty much do keep it all in my head, sometimes though there is a little to much going on and that causes brain leakage, when that happens I usually shout feck rather loudly :)

If you would like to try Steve’s quiz for yourself, either click on the picture of him doing the funky chicken, or click here!

Feet Up!

November 25, 2013November 25, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit24 Comments

I do love a Monday off, that one extra day tagged onto the weekend.

For once I’m doing nothing of any importance. I’m going to spend the day cleaning up the clutter than seems to gather round me during the week, well after I finish this post and watch ‘The Hotel Inspector’ that is. I like her particular brand of ballsy! Couple that with the fact I’ve put my back out and you’ll forgive me a little R ‘n’ R!

Last night Udders and I had the pleasure of attending ‘Le Maison De La Monkey’ for a slap up Sunday dinner! All I can say is ‘Wow’ and when are we going back! That was a meal and a half. I had to stop myself from licking the plate. The highlight of the whole night however, had to be the sight of Udders, Monkey and Rugette with their arses in the air. Yep, someone broke out the Twister Mat. There is photographic evidence, but I thought I would spare you from that!

Christmas is coming, and it’s coming far to fast for my liking. There are only a few weeks left and there is so so much to do. The task I dread the most is the writing of all my Mother’s cards, same as she is no longer able to herself. My own friends tend to fall by the wayside a little, because after writing so many I just can’t face any more. Last year the task was made easier because I was at home anyway nursing Alien Leg, but this year I am going to have to fit it in between being back at work full time, cooking and cleaning. Doesn’t leave much time left over! I figure if I guzzle down the rescue remedy we’ll be fine. Fingers crossed!

I have to be honest and say I am not a big Christmas fan. I do love all the lights and the decorated trees, but for many it’s a huge money sucker. I pity parents who feel they have to follow trends when buying presents for their children. Consoles and technology may look like nothing left under a tree, but they cost an absolute fortune and there is no doubt that peer pressure plays a part. I sure wouldn’t want to be paying Santa’s credit card bill!

Still though, as the time gets closer, it’s almost impossible to not get caught up in the festive season. One sniff of cinnamon up the nostrils, the gentle tinkle of a sleigh bell and the twinkle of fairy lights is enough to soften the heart of this Grinch!

I’m cutting down with regards to the presents though, it’s meant to be the time of Peace and Goodwill, not crying in the corner because you can’t make ends meet! Thankfully there are very few of my friends I buy for, we’ll all content with nice cards, anyone want to write mine? *smiles sweetly*