Category: Life in General!

May Dupp: International Dating Superstar!

The Indecisive Eejit19 Comments

MayDupp Banner

Apparently as far as Internet dating goes I rock! The fact that, as previously mentioned, the men out number the women on the site at least 10 to 1, has abso fricking lutely nothing to do with it, so you can put the brakes on that train of thought right now!

My Inbox is full to bursting with e-mails from eligible bachelors from all over the world. I have even had some offers of marriage, although I am a little concerned as to why they need my bank details and an immediate loan of $3000. My brother Jamesy said to stay clear, something about it being a Scam thing, now I dunno about you, but I’ve never heard of that religion before. Ah well, I need a man who is a little less concerned with the contents of my bank account considering there’s feck all in it.

I actually did go on a date last Thursday afternoon. I took the advice of all my friends and work colleagues about meeting in daylight and in a public place. I briefed at least 16 people with regards to my whereabouts and provided handouts containing bulletin points of my proposed agenda. You think that was a little too much? believe me there are some rare types on those dating sites. I should know ffs, I’m one of them!

I didn’t really think the whole thing through to be honest. The plan was to go to Starbucks for coffee, keeping in mind the very casual nature of our date. We were to meet outside WH Smith and so I could pick him out from the crowd, he was to carry a newspaper under his right arm. Clearly not one of my better ideas, considering that particular shop incorporates a newsagents and as a result every man except one carried a paper under his arm. There is no surer way to alert the general public to the fact that you are on a blind date than working your way along a line of men asking each one in turn if they are ‘Barney’.

I was beginning to think as I came to the end of the line that perhaps ‘Barney’ on seeing me approach had seized his opportunity to leg it up Royal Avenue, but like a true gentleman he stepped forward and informed me he was the one I had been waiting for, which was greeted with a roar of approval from all the non Barneys. I smiled, shook his hand, and kept my face very non committal, whilst thinking, no, no, no, you are so not the one I have been waiting for. Call me picky if you like, but jeans and manure covered wellington boots were always a turn off for me on a first date.

Not wanting to let the side down, or face the wrath of Onda, I decided to proceed with the date anyway, so ten minutes later found us seated in Starbucks with our coffees and a cheeky caramel square each. My sister on hearing I was to go on a blind date had told me we needed to have a codeword for text messages, as she was worried that my date might murder me, but manage to keep it a secret by replying to my text messages. The codeword was to be ‘FFS’ and she was to text at 4pm exactly.

Now I’m not saying I wasn’t enjoying my date, I was having a good laugh and the craic was mighty, but there was no chemistry, or is it biology, you know what I mean, it’s one of those sciency type things. So at 4pm my phones bleeps and right on cue it’s my sister:

Sister: Are you ok? How’s it going?

Me: Yeah it’s going not to bad thanks.

Sister: Who are you and what have you done with my sister, I’m calling the police.

Me: It’s me ffs, everything is ok!!!

Sister: You didn’t use the codeword.

Me: FFS!

Considering the shaky start, the rest of the date went not to bad. We finished our coffees and then it was time for me to head home. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again, but he was a nice enough bloke, he even gave me his paper to read on the train.

(Some people didn’t seem to sure after my first couple of offerings, but please remember when reading these posts that May Dupp is a fictional character….I am not Internet dating so you have no need to worry about my safety, but thank you for caring!

The only part of this post which was based on real life was the text messages. That did actually happen with my Sister one time when I went on a blind date, although I can’t remember it word for word.)

Sleep typing…

The Indecisive Eejit53 Comments

The past few days have been weird around blogsphere what with everything going on. I wanted to write yesterday, but the post was in pieces and I couldn’t quite manage to pull it together, so in the end I gave up and watched a few episodes of ‘Life Unexpected’ instead.

I also wanted to start work on a new What If? piece for Jed and his blog, but again I couldn’t get anything to stick. Any suggestions for me?

I’m sure it has not escaped your notice that despite my big girl bragging about changing my page and forcing it to grow up, there are little or no differences at all. Now, before you get all judgmental on me, it has NOTHING to do with me being lazy and EVERYTHING to do with me not being able to find a theme that I like as much as my current one. I tried each and every one in WordPress, on Saturday night, cos I’ve no social life thats just how I roll! In the end I gave up. I need more time to make an informed decision so that when I start the begging process with Paul regarding a new banner I know exactly what I am asking for! That said I have help on tap with regards to CSS cos my good friend from No Blog Intended passed her exam with flying colours! Well done young lady :)

This is only going to be a short post, I managed a 10 hours shift in work today, the first since I had my accident and do you know what, it felt good. The Diamond Dancer and I didn’t stop and I was amazed at how quickly the time went and the amount we were able to achieve in it.

I’d left dinner out for the olds with instructions on what to do. It seems they managed ok, apart from one phone call from the Fathership asking what number on the cooker the spuds had to be turned on to. It would appear however that unless something is able to go in the dishwasher neither of the ‘ships’ will touch it, meaning after arriving home at 9.45pm I had to start and wash the pots and pans and then prepare tomorrow nights dinner. Next time I go out, they can order in and I will leave out paper plates and cups. Problem solved!

That’s about all I can manage, I really don’t want to wake up in the morning with ‘qwerty’ embedded on my forehead because I fell asleep at the keyboard!

One last thing tho before I go, can I please (if I have not already) draw your attention to my new page entitled ‘Challenges’. On it you can find the most recent ones from Okay, What if?, Robs Surf  Report and also Steve’s Monday Music Challenge. Check them out and put in an entry, go on I dare ya!

Night night now :)

P.s The video at the top is The Crooked Kind by Radical Face. It’s my song of choice for this week. It’s been on repeat since I first heard it!

Don’t be afraid of the dark!

The Indecisive Eejit41 Comments
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Image by Jim Pennucci

Imagine WordPress is a lake, where the waters are calm and still. This morning when I opened the reader, something felt different, almost like a storm was brewing. There were ripples on the normally smooth surface of the water. Sadness, people leaving, people hurting, it kind of knocked me for six a little.

When I started blogging I have to admit I was a little scared. Sure I had experience of WordPress before, but that was on a self hosted blog that no one ever read. The first couple of months contained many days of me stumbling around in the dark trying to find my way, experimenting and generally teaching myself how to publish a post.

For the first while you hang around unseen, watching and hoping one day you are brave enough to comment on that post that you really liked. You quickly find all the ‘cool’ blogs, because those are the ones everyone gravitates to. You don’t feel worthy to be seen, so you observe from a distance, thinking, ‘when I grow up, I want to be a blog just like that one.’

You feel that every post you write deserves to be Freshly Pressed and obsessively check your e-mails in case you delete that precious message by mistake. Then when you have the time you actually check out some of the posts that have been given the award and reality slaps your resoundly about the face when you realise that if that’s the standard that is required then it’s never coming your way. As time goes on you realise it doesn’t matter anyway, there are much more worthwhile reasons to blog.

Still you hanker after the cool blogs, liking and commenting in the hopes of being noticed, because after all that’s what you are advised to do, get yourself out there and make new friends. Your pride is a little dented when after a month you have still gone unnoticed,  but a few strangers stop by to say hello.

The strangers become friends, and bring some of their own along. The craic is good and before you know it you are visiting the cool blogs less and less. You have the approval of the people that matter to you, and that’s more than enough.

One day you realise that all blogs are the same, because they are being run by humans and humans make mistakes. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than worthy, appreciate those who already think you are good enough.

Don’t be afraid of the dark, and don’t be dazzled by bright lights, it’s all the little ones that come when you least expect it that light your way! Don’t give up, they will find you.

Feeling Humbled!

The Indecisive Eejit26 Comments

-Dear-Followers

I’ve had a few new followers of late, thank you very much and you are more than welcome. My apologies for the fact that I have not been along personally to thank you, but you see I never did that with any of the old hands and I don’t want to hear any cries of discrimination. People seem to just happen along and hang around, adding bits and pieces every now and again and that’s just the way I like it. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay. There’s a great bunch of folks who visit, I’m sure you’ll get to know them soon enough.

The addition of new followers to my blog has also meant the addition of new material to my reader. I love it when people introduce themselves, because the chances are I would never have found them otherwise. For some reason, my ‘You May Like’ section usually throws up the same 4 blogs, even though I have previously indicated they were not my type of thing. If you think about it, there are over a million people on WordPress, but yet it still recommends the same ones. Perhaps I have found the best ones already, most days it certainly feels like I have, because you lot rock!

I always did pretty much live on the Internet, right from the first time my sister let me have a go on her laptop and introduced me to ICQ. I spoke to people all over the world and nothing would do but I had to get a computer of my very own to explore this new world I had previously known nothing about. Over the years I have made some amazing friends, met some complete wankers, learned new skills, honed old ones and many other things that I would never have managed were it not for easy access to the World Wide Web.

Despite how I come across I am actually quite a shy person, most likely due to low self esteem, so hiding behind the screen of a computer suits me just fine. I do love going out with my friends and if I feel comfortable with you I will open up, but I hate that moment of having to meet someone for the first time, or walking into a crowded room. People who know me would tell you that they find this weird. They say I am the life and soul of the party and strangely, they find me funny. I love that, but it bemuses me at the same time.

So you see this little space of mine on the Internet, has given me a lot to be thankful for. I have been fortunate enough to meet amazing people, with more coming along every day. I’ve shared their stories, their journeys, their happiness and heartache. I’ve been in total awe of the strength people show in the most dire of circumstances and how despite everything they continue to write, offering those who follow hope and a lifeline. I’ve giggled at the sexploits of others, yes Sean, this time I do mean you, take a bow! and I’ve even been educated, probably more than I ever was at school.

I don’t get time to comment on every post I read and the ‘Like’ button along with Translink’s free Wifi have been a tad temperamental of late, but I try and read as often as I can to keep up to date with everyone’s goings on. So don’t think that just because I have not liked or commented on a post that I have not read it. Even after all this time I still get stuck for things to say, so I choose not to comment. Sometimes nothing else needs to be said.

There has been so much going on here too, what with working full time, being later home at night and the cooking every day now, that I don’t have the same amount of time I used to. I want to be writing all the time and my mind is a hive of activity with ideas for this site and also for posts on Okay, What if?, where I now guest post, it’s just that when I finally get everything done my brain goes, ‘seriously you want me to remember all those things you were thinking about? How about a big slice of feck away off” and the great ideas I had vanish into the ether.

thinking-please-be-patient-thecuriousbrain.com_
Image from simplelifestrategies.com

In fact it’s doing that right now, reminding me it’s bed time and that I’ve not been sleeping the best. Funny things brains, ingenious inventions, you can be as thick as shit, but the old top box still rules the roost!

Anyway all I wanted to say was, thank you for following me, for putting up with me and for sticking around. I am so glad to have met you all!

 

How Till Speak Norn Iron!

The Indecisive Eejit15 Comments

Norn Iron Speal
I’m reposting this for those that missed it first time round!
There are lots of different variations of all languages. I love how quickly people pick up little phrases after only speaking to me for a short period of time. I laughed my head off the first time Shady told me he was “Feckin knackered”.

Paul will berate me sometimes because he says people won’t understand some of the phrases and slang I use and Lee has to ask me to slow down, to be fair I do have a tendency to ramble.

So in an effort to make the whole thing a little easier I have compiled a list of some of the most popular phrases. Feel free to use it for translation if there is ever something in one of my posts you cannot understand. This is only a few of a vast array, I will no doubt think of others and have to add them at a later date.

A Rough Guide to Norn Iron Speak!

 

Saying

 

Translation

Eejit

 

Yes it does mean an idiot in most cases, however if I said to you “You’re a fecking eejit”, I would mean it as in you’re a headcase, or a laugh. Idiot doesn’t necessarily mean stupid here, it can also mean funny!

 

Ach What About Ye.

Hello. How are you doing.

 

Aye

Yes

 

Catch Yerself On

Wise up.

 

Yer Having a laugh!

You cannot be serious.

 

Shut Yer Bake

Shut up or close your mouth. Bakebook = Facebook

 

Feck away aff!

Go away. Quickly.

 

Giz a buck at ye!

You look hot today. Would you like to come in for coffee.

 

Keepin Dick

Keeping a look out.

 

Away fer a feg!

I’m off to have a cigarette.

 

Alright Mucker

Hi mate

 

Lamps

Eyes – “I cried my lamps out at that film”

 

C’mere wee lad

Come over here young man

 

Spuds

Potatoes. “I need to get home and get the spuds on.

 

Yer Ma

Your Mother

 

Cheeky wee skitter!

Cheeky little imp

 

You’re heeds a marley

You’re not thinking clearly

 

Knackered

Tired or worn out.

 

Till

To. “I’m away till the shops”

 

The craic’s mighty / It’s great craic

Wee

It’s a good laugh. It’s great fun.

We say this with everything. Would you like a wee come of tea? Oh come in for a wee minute?

Comments welcome with variations of your own funny phrases!

 

A tiny bit of titivation!

The Indecisive Eejit15 Comments

page-under-construction

Gentlemen I don’t want you to get excited here, titivation, I am sorry to tell you means to make decorative changes. I know how flustered some of you become at the mere mention of anything titi related!

So I’ve been feeling lately that my blog needs to grow up a little. I’ve already made minor changes to the fonts, but I guess the most noticeable would have to be the banner, which is not going anywhere, so any further changes I make will have to fit round it.

I bit the bullet and went for the custom design option, although I have to be truthful and say that the whole CSS thing is lost on me, I do however like the fact I can now change fonts, backgrounds and colours.

I’ve been road testing a few new themes and giving each one a new coat of paint as I go, but nothing feels like home yet, well certainly not as comfortable as the one in which I currently reside. Perhaps like me, my blog is not ready to grow up.

Watch this space!!

 

I need the Zzzzzz’s

The Indecisive Eejit16 Comments
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Zzzzzzzzzzzz!

I didn’t sleep very well last night. For some strange reason I kept waking up thinking I was going to be sick. I put it down to nerves, due to the fact my first ever post was about to be published on Okay, What If? and also my impending visit to the works physio.

When I woke up this morning I had notifications that there were 10 likes on my newly published piece so that lessened that worry. Thank you to all my new followers from this week, it’s good to have you on board. Thank you to Jed, who has enough faith in me to let me loose on his awesome blog, and thank you also to all of you for supporting me, it means a lot.

The good start to the morning slowed the washing machine that had somehow become lodged in my stomach during the night. No longer on spin cycle I had wound down to a steady rinse, which through my awesome powers of deduction (I was only worried about two things) I concluded had to be the visit to the physio.

I needn’t have worried, again good news. She says the strength in my leg has greatly improved, I have also gained about another 5 degrees on my range of motion which I didn’t expect as usually where you’re at after 12 months is where you stay! She explained the back and hip pain I am experiencing are normal due to the fact there has most likely been a change to my gait and I am over compensating. So yes I’m still going to be sore, but at least there is improvement!

We got to discussing life in general and I was talking about how although I had expected the physical pain with my injury I wasn’t prepared for how it would effect me mentally. She asked about home life and such things and was kind enough to suggest that perhaps another referral might be a good idea so I could go and just chat with someone and perhaps let off some steam. I might actually consider it, watch this space!

IE News Banner

  • Check out my new page entitled Challenges.The sidebar was getting a little crowded so I moved all the useful information to a page of it’s own. You can find all the information for Jeds Okay, What If Writing Challenge, Steve’s Monday Music Mix and Robs Haiku Challenge. If you have a challenge you would like added bear in mind before you ask that I can be bribed with either stationary or confectionery unless you’re super rich and want to make it monetary! :)
  • Remember a while back I was boasting about my love for my new netbook, so much so in fact I had already bought it a Valentine card. Well it would appear that it has a dark side. For the first time ever I carried the laptop into work with the sole purpose of blogging on my journey home. Imagine my horror, and we are talking large scale horror here, when after getting myself all settled and beginning  to type I started to experience motion sickness. I tried to ignore it at first but when it reached the stage where I wanted to projectile vomit, I shut everything down and closed my eyes for the rest of the journey. Fingers crossed it was just a one off, but in case it wasn’t, I have been pointed in the direction of the nearest chemist to buy sea bands! My suggestion of B&Q for a bucket was not received very well!

So there you have it. The above was meant to be ‘News in Brief’, but I was too tired to photoshop the words onto a pair of knickers so you’ll have to make so with an old picture.

Night Night now :)

The time is near….

The Indecisive Eejit11 Comments

keep-calm-we-re-nearly-there

The last couple of days I’ve been working on my idea for my fictional character. I have a name, a banner and half of the first post done, so hopefully before too long you will be able to see it for yourselves.

I have a few people to thank though, without whom I would not have been able to get this random and probably ridiculous idea off the ground.

Lee from Geeky and Freaky who no matter how random my ideas are always supports and encourages me.

Paul from Nugs 321 who slags me off, but still manages to help with all my banner woes as he does. I find the pictures and he brings it all together with awesome text and details. If you need a new banner he can be contacted via his Facebook page HERE. He’s not too much of a diva and charges reasonable rates, unless like me you’re one of his best friends and he owes you a few favours! Ladies, he’s available and will offer discount if you flirt. Gentlemen, I don’t think that will work for you to be honest, but you’re welcome to try.

I had put out a request on my last post to see if anyone had some ideas for a name for this new creation of mine. I wanted to make sure that no one was in any doubt this was a fictional character so I was essentially looking for a name to reflect that. I had a couple of good suggestions, especially Belinda Loggins (Bloggins) from El Guapo and Fictitious Franz from Green Embers. However there was one, that for me stood out above all the rest because it perfectly summed up what I was trying to do. Steve from Steve Says.. came up with ‘May Dupp’, so simple yet so effective and it is the one I have chosen to use! Thanks to you all for your assistance and participation, and well done Steve :)

I spoke to Udders on Thursday too and informed her that there was a chance she would be my sidekick in a few posts. I challenged her to come up with a name for herself. After many colourul and some explicit suggestions which I had to reject on the basis that I like the G ish rating my blog has, she settled on the name Onda, as in Onda Pull. I may have rolled my eyes, but I also laughed.

So all the posts for the fictional May Dupp will have their own banner and there will be a new category for her also.

I can only wish that my life was as fabulous and exciting as hers will hopefully be….fingers crossed!

A Lightbulb Moment!

The Indecisive Eejit25 Comments

I think WordPress had a little too much alcohol last night, because it doesn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders today. I’ve been catching up on my reading, but on most of the posts I read I was unable to ‘Like’ as the button constantly sat at loading. I’ve also noticed that likes and pictures numbers do not tally, so obviously something internally is a little askew. I am sure it will sort itself out.

followed-blog-200-1xThe first good news of the year happened last night at 3am when I went to bed, steady on you with the dirty mind, I meant I finally got my little 200 Likes badge from WordPress. See, for all those who doubted me it just proves that if you whinge, moan, beg and bride, you can get what you want! Thank you to all those who helped make it happen.

The second piece of news is that in just 105 more views I will have reached 20, 000. That’s quite a milestone and I would love to say that it’s all to do with my scintillating charm wit and personality. Sadly I think it’s more to do with the worlds shameless addiction to the game Candy Crush and the fact that I chose to write about it. None the less, I am still as happy as a big happy thing :)

The New Year and a chance conversation got me thinking about the things I want to achieve in 2014. Parts of the conversation centered around the fact that many of us wished things had been different in 2013 and in some cases that we had a life other than the one we were living. That one I could emphasise with.

Although I may not have the most exciting life, which in turn means I don’t have many exciting and wondrous tales to blog about, one thing I have been blessed with is a fairly active imagination. This last year, through various challenges I was drawn into the world of fiction, and I discovered I liked it. There is a certain freedom about being able to write exactly what you want under the guise of fiction and imagination. So I’ve had an idea, in fact I did so much thinking today my brain hurts.

My intention is to introduce another character to my blog, through whom I can vicariously live a life less ordinary. It will hopefully be humorous and entertaining. I did briefly toy with the idea of creating a second blog to undertake this adventure but I love you guys and know that you will all help and critique me if required. It’s only an idea at present, whether I can actually make it work is one thing, and how I integrate it with my blog is another.

So what do you think, good idea or bad? and have you any ideas of a name for my character, I am open to suggestions, in fact I would welcome them after my idea of Fanny Fictitious got shot down in flames.

Over to you…………

Well hello there 2014!

The Indecisive Eejit11 Comments
Designs-for-Kids.-Happy-New-Year-2014-n-4-780x780
Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!