Well hello there ya rockets, did you miss me? Do you even remember me? Actually that’s a good question, who am I?
I know it’s been a while and you have to believe me when I tell you that I have been sooooo busy…..busy being ordinary. There has been no time for being fabulous, no time for handbag shopping and I couldn’t tell you the last time I went for a manicure, never mind had a man cure me.
There’s been work, and lots of it. Of course there have been diet coke moments too, Shaun the window cleaner can fair strike a pose when the sun comes out, unfortunately when he takes his shirt off, it scarpers.
The little pods have been a hive of activity, in fact after we’ve warmed up in the morning we can hardly see each other for the smoke from the keyboards. The fingers are flying and so are the fecks when thing don’t go according to plan. During the time of a big contract it’s all hands to the pump until the tender is in.
Busy days mean quick lunches and the other week while I was at the chippy getting a battered sausage, oo er mrs, I got talking to Stuey the fish fryer. He’s a good lad, although I am a little concerned by the fact that every time he sees me he laughs. He’s been teasing me for a while, I think he likes me because I always get a little flirt and an extra scoop of chips with my fish, either that or he’s trying to fatten me up.
So whilst waiting on my sausage he asks me if I’d like to go on a little trip. I was all a dither, but seeing as I’d been off the radar for so long and the weekend was approaching I figured I had nothing to lose. So I asks him where he’s taking me and he says Iceland. Well feck me, I’m thinking that’s some place for a first date, I’m going to have to wear my big girl pants and get the lend of Onda’s muff. He told me to meet him at the chippy on Friday at 5pm.
The rest of the week passed in a bit of a blur with the pod being a flurry of gossip activity as I told everyone about my impending trip. Come Friday, I headed out of the office, dolled to the nines pulling my little travel case behind me. I got a few appreciative stares for my neon pink from head to toe snow suit, especially as it was 18c outside, but where I was headed I was going to need something to keep me warm, especially if Stuey was not up for the job.
By the time I had negotiated the pedestrian crossing and spoken to a couple of people I know I was only arriving at the chippy at about five fifteen.
Stuey: ‘Feck sake May, I thought you weren’t coming, and don’t you think you’re just a tad over dressed?’
Me: ‘I’m sorry Stuey, are we going to miss our flight?’
Stuey: ‘Miss our flight, what are you on about, we’re going to miss our bus.’
Me: ‘I didn’t even know you can get a bus to Iceland’
Stuey: ‘Oh aye, the Number 37 passes just right outside, and we can get a third off a day return too.’
It was at this point that alarm bells started to go off, no number 37 bus I had been on had ever gone via Iceland ffs, and then it hit me.
Me: ‘We’re not going on a plane are we Stuey?’
Stuey: ‘Eh no, whatever made you think that.’
Me: ‘You said you were taking me to Iceland.’
Stuey: ‘I am, we’re going to the one at the big shopping centre, I need Harry Ramsden peas for the chippy and I thought you could help me carry them back, now hurry up ffs, it closes at 6pm.’
What a twat, I’d forgotten all about the frozen food store the bus passes. It was certainly not the Iceland I had envisaged but at least they do a nice frozen chicken fried rice, so that was tea sorted!
I’m not going to be able to show my face in the chippy for weeks ffs and now Stuey actually has a reason to laugh at me. I’m certainly not the brightest pixie in the forest!