Computer Shopping

I wonder if you can buy inspiration in a packet, you know, kinda like you can do with some sauces. Place self in casserole dish, sprinkle with sauce and place in oven at a low heat for however long it takes for ideas to form. Let’s hope someone remembers to take me out before I get crispy.

It’s been a long but short week, if that makes any sense. I’ve achieved a lot for other people, but not really for myself. It’s been nice not being at work, however nerves are already kicking in for my return on Monday.  I’ve removed some of my stress by completing tasks that needed done, which hopefully means the next time I take a few days off, I can have some to myself.

Weirdly this week, the thing that had me climbing the walls was trying to purchase a computer. I’ve had my PC for about 5 years and while it still works, when it starts up it’s like a parade of tractors advancing through my room. It’s getting slow in it’s old age too, a little like me. I’ve been keeping an eye on prices for a while and was delighted to see that Dell were offering an extra 10% off on their Inspiron computer. After discussions with the Fathership I headed onto the site to start the purchase process. Things were going well, and with the form filled in I pressed continue and was hit with an error regarding the contact telephone numbers. A little guidance was given, complete area code and then number, however despite the fact that I put the number in every way I could think of, it was not accepted.

As you can guess, I was starting to get a little frustrated at this stage, so I looked to live chat for assistance, but no, not available, despite the fact that it was  still within the opening hours. Next the telephone help line, again same thing, after enduring a message informing me of said opening hours, she says thank you and hangs up. WTF!! I’m more than tetchy at this point, and commit my problem to the help desk via e-mail.

The next day I anxiously check my e-mail for a reply. I only have a few days left to avail of the discount before it disappears and had asked how I should complete the contact number in order for the site to accept it. The gentleman replies advising me he can raise an order but not telling me how to complete the number. So I reply with the details of the computer we were after. His next reply left me gutted, the computer was out of stock. After a few more e-mail exchanges I was left still not knowing how to complete the form and with a quote for a more expensive computer. I was right royally pissed at this stage, if the stupid site had worked or the helpline’s were available like they should have been I would have my computer ordered and all. Now however, the whole process has left  me a little jaded and I am going to look elsewhere, so if you see any good deals let me know.

If I disappear, you’ll know that my existing computer has finally popped it’s clogs!

Till next time eejits…hopefully!

Who turned up the heat?

It’s been sweltering here this last few days and it’s taking it’s toll. I remarked to my friends last night that I feel like I am turning into an old lady, I’m hardly able to make it past 10.30 these days without my eyes starting to close. To someone who is a night owl, that’s a complete nightmare. To top that, I’ve been waking up at 6am, seriously WTF! that’s the middle of the night, and not good when you have to go to work and spend 8 hours in a hot office. Oh the joys, I am most definitely not a fan of summer.

The weekend went well, I had two whole days off from the chores that I usually undertake, the only problem with that is it still needs to be done. I’m off tomorrow and already my day is full of bookwork for the Fathership, and all the housework, I’m worried there are not going to be enough hours in the day.

The two days at the weekend are the first time I have stayed at my Sisters on my own since my leg injury in 2012. It was nice to not have any worries, but I still wasn’t able to shut off thinking about what was going on at home.

I bought a hedgehog, not a real live one of course, but a little bread roll that bears similarities and has picked up the name. I enjoyed it sitting in the sunshine with a chicken salad. Eventually, despite the breeze, the heat drove me back indoors.

All to soon it was time to head home and after a conversation  with the Fathership I was a little unsure what I was going home to. Initially frosty, it seemed to calm down, I think the Mothership was glad she knew where her next meal was coming from. Beans and toast it would seem, is not acceptable fodder for day to day.

I’m hoping for slightly cooler weather to come, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to survive in the soaring temperatures. Rain is forecast for the weekend, unfortunately, so are thunderstorms, there’s just no pleasing me is there.

Onwards and upwards, time to kick back and catch up on some of the My Kitchen Rules I missed, whilst fanning myself with last weeks TV magazine. I’m such a classy girl :)

Hope all is well with you lot, till next time eejits!

The trip of a lifetime

MayDupp Banner

Well hello there ya rockets, did you miss me? Do you even remember me? Actually that’s a good question, who am I?

I know it’s been a while and you have to believe me when I tell you that I have been sooooo busy…..busy being ordinary. There has been no time for being fabulous, no time for handbag shopping and I couldn’t tell you the last time I went for a manicure, never mind had a man cure me.

There’s been work, and lots of it. Of course there have been diet coke moments too, Shaun the window cleaner can fair strike a pose when the sun comes out, unfortunately when he takes his shirt off, it scarpers.

The little pods have been a hive of activity, in fact after we’ve warmed up in the morning we can hardly see each other for the smoke from the keyboards. The fingers are flying and so are the fecks when thing don’t go according to plan. During the time of a big contract it’s all hands to the pump until  the tender is in.

Busy days mean quick lunches and the other week while I was at the chippy getting a battered sausage, oo er mrs, I got talking to Stuey the fish fryer. He’s a good lad, although I am a little concerned by the fact that every time he sees me he laughs. He’s been teasing me for a while, I think he likes me because I always get a little flirt and an extra scoop of chips with my fish, either that or he’s trying to fatten me up.

So whilst waiting on my sausage he asks me if I’d like to go on a little trip. I was all a dither, but seeing as I’d been off the radar for so long and the weekend was approaching I figured I had nothing to lose. So I asks him where he’s taking me and he says Iceland. Well feck me, I’m thinking that’s some place for a first date, I’m going to have to wear my big girl pants and get the lend of Onda’s muff. He told me to meet him at the chippy on Friday at 5pm.

The rest of the week passed in a bit of a blur with the pod being a flurry of gossip activity as I told everyone about my impending trip. Come Friday, I headed out of the office, dolled to the nines pulling my little travel case behind me. I got a few appreciative stares for my neon pink from head to toe snow suit, especially as it was 18c outside, but where I was headed I was going to need something to keep me warm, especially if Stuey was not up for the job.

By the time I had negotiated the pedestrian crossing and spoken to a couple of people I know I was only arriving at the chippy at about five fifteen.

Stuey: ‘Feck sake May, I thought you weren’t coming, and don’t you think you’re just a tad over dressed?’

Me: ‘I’m sorry Stuey, are we going to miss our flight?’

Stuey: ‘Miss our flight, what are you on about, we’re going to miss our bus.’

Me: ‘I didn’t even know you can get a bus to Iceland’

Stuey: ‘Oh aye, the Number 37 passes just right outside, and we can get a third off a day return too.’

It was at this point that alarm bells started to go off, no number 37 bus I had been on had ever gone via Iceland ffs, and then it hit me.

Me: ‘We’re not going on a plane are we Stuey?’

Stuey: ‘Eh no, whatever made you think that.’

Me: ‘You said you were taking me to Iceland.’

Stuey: ‘I am, we’re going to the one at the big shopping centre, I need Harry Ramsden peas for the chippy and I thought you could help me carry them back, now hurry up ffs, it closes at 6pm.’

What a twat, I’d forgotten all about the frozen food store the bus passes. It was certainly not the Iceland I had envisaged but at least they do a nice frozen chicken fried rice, so that was tea sorted!

I’m not going to be able to show my face in the chippy for weeks ffs and now Stuey actually has a reason to laugh at me. I’m certainly not the brightest pixie in the forest!



Done and dusted!

I have never been as glad to see the end of two working days in all my life. Manic is does not even come close to describing what it has been like. I hardly had enough energy left to take my laptop out of it’s case and set it up for my journey home on the train.

Going off on leave is stressful, the art of calmly clearing up all the odds and sods that need done before leaving is clearly something I have not yet mastered. I’m more of a run around in a flap, but eventually get there kind of person. I pity anyone who reads the last few e-mails I sent, I doubt they were legible. But I made it, and as a reward I do not have to think about work again until Friday….oh happy days!!

I am sure there are things I have not done, that will come to me in the middle of the night and wake me from peaceful slumber. I have already e-mailed myself with things that I need to remember and can think of a few more that I need to send myself when I get home.

This Personal Secretary lark is easy….SAID NO ONE EVER!!

I could see through it if I was able to go home and relax, but there is still shopping to be done and dinner to prepare and goodness knows what form the Mothership will be in considering I have deviated from the normal routine. The great unknown lies ahead.

I really want this weekend to be incident free, no let me rephrase that, I really need this weekend to be incident free. The last two have been mentally draining and I am in dire need of some rest and relaxation, excluding the housework and cooking duties that is, some things never change.

So what lies ahead? I could promise you that I am going to do all my drawings for the Cartoon Craziness Challenge and regale you every day with funny stories that will have you falling off your chairs with laughter. I could also tell you that May Dupp is going to partake of her usual weekend antics leaving a trail of destruction in her wake.

I could promise all of that, but I won’t, because I’m going to shop, eat, clean up, perhaps kill a few things on the Xbox and then go to bed and sleep. After that there might be a little more sleep, and then some sleeping thrown in for good measure.

What happens after that is anyone’s guess!!

Happy Friday my most favourite eejits!

A Lightbulb Moment!

I think WordPress had a little too much alcohol last night, because it doesn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders today. I’ve been catching up on my reading, but on most of the posts I read I was unable to ‘Like’ as the button constantly sat at loading. I’ve also noticed that likes and pictures numbers do not tally, so obviously something internally is a little askew. I am sure it will sort itself out.

followed-blog-200-1xThe first good news of the year happened last night at 3am when I went to bed, steady on you with the dirty mind, I meant I finally got my little 200 Likes badge from WordPress. See, for all those who doubted me it just proves that if you whinge, moan, beg and bride, you can get what you want! Thank you to all those who helped make it happen.

The second piece of news is that in just 105 more views I will have reached 20, 000. That’s quite a milestone and I would love to say that it’s all to do with my scintillating charm wit and personality. Sadly I think it’s more to do with the worlds shameless addiction to the game Candy Crush and the fact that I chose to write about it. None the less, I am still as happy as a big happy thing :)

The New Year and a chance conversation got me thinking about the things I want to achieve in 2014. Parts of the conversation centered around the fact that many of us wished things had been different in 2013 and in some cases that we had a life other than the one we were living. That one I could emphasise with.

Although I may not have the most exciting life, which in turn means I don’t have many exciting and wondrous tales to blog about, one thing I have been blessed with is a fairly active imagination. This last year, through various challenges I was drawn into the world of fiction, and I discovered I liked it. There is a certain freedom about being able to write exactly what you want under the guise of fiction and imagination. So I’ve had an idea, in fact I did so much thinking today my brain hurts.

My intention is to introduce another character to my blog, through whom I can vicariously live a life less ordinary. It will hopefully be humorous and entertaining. I did briefly toy with the idea of creating a second blog to undertake this adventure but I love you guys and know that you will all help and critique me if required. It’s only an idea at present, whether I can actually make it work is one thing, and how I integrate it with my blog is another.

So what do you think, good idea or bad? and have you any ideas of a name for my character, I am open to suggestions, in fact I would welcome them after my idea of Fanny Fictitious got shot down in flames.

Over to you…………

Well hello there 2014!

Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!


Is something happening tomorrow?


Ok before I start let me just say I am rocking this whole one eye on the screen, one eye on the TV thing. This laptop is the dogs wotsits! Ok now that’s out of the way, I shall begin….

Is there something happening tomorrow? Is it a special day? There are lots of little New Year posts appearing in my reader, yet the big day is not till tomorrow. Anyone would think you guys are going to be heading out or something.

Up until my injury I always worked. New Years Eve has to be one of the loneliest nights of the calendar to work in a profession where the only contact you have with the outside world is by telephone. Strangely I didn’t mind, I had after all a job to do. Everything would go crazy until about 11.30pm and then things would calm a little as midnight approached. All the drivers would go home to spend time with their families and come the stroke of midnight I would go outside and stand at the front door of the office and listen for the boats sounding their horns as the clock struck 12. Back inside and after a quick call with the folks at approximately 12.15 the phones would start to ring off the hook and it would stay that way sometimes until 5 or 6 am.

On New Years Even it’s inevitable that taxies run late. That mate you promised a lift home, well I hadn’t actually allocated any time for him, so you make me late for the person after you, and so it goes on. When being shouted, moaned and whinged at, I had to sometimes and not always politely remind people that this was also my New Years yet I had given it up to make sure they got home safe.

It’s not that I am opposed to going out by the way, no I am not opposed to it at all, I just don’t like it, so umm no, not opposed.  Ok if truth be told it’s a direct result from trying and failing so many times to date men of the Scottish variety. Old Lang Syne still manages to reduce me to tears at any good New Year shindig I attend, so best to avoid them. (Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only, I can assure my Scottish exes my heart healed just fine.)

Last year without a doubt was the best New Year ever. Owing to the fact that I was still recovering from my injury and there was no chance I was going to be getting down and dirty on the dance floor, or in work for that matter, I spent it with friends on  the Xbox. We had such a laugh, mostly due to the fact that our friend Jelly likes a wee toot of Whiskey and decided to have one or two that night. Many times I laughed till I cried.

It will be hard to top that, although if everyone is around perhaps we can try to recreate the magic. Whatever happens I’ll not be too far travelled on New Years Eve and will no doubt stop by to wish you all a happy and safe one, whatever it is you choose to do.

P.S – It took me so long to TV Watch / Write the post that it’s now New Years Eve, so for the sake of continuity just pretend it isn’t! Thanks :)

A shindig or a Soirée?

An Office Full of Eejits

You may remember in my last post I had remarked about how quiet it had been in the office of late, due to interference from…well, work. Apart from the afternoon of the 2 hour quiz which was hijacked by the Googling ‘Charades’ bandit, we have been relatively well behaved. Until today that is!

Each year the office hold a little ‘Christmas Soirée’ for a select few. Being relatively new to the office, and having missed last years due to injury, this was to be my first as an official office add on. It was also to be the first year I would partake in the Secret Santa.

The Diamond Dancer did what she does best and organised an amazing spread of nibbles and drinks (soft of course). Aside from it being Christmas, it was also Pri-Lei’s birth anniversary, and her arrival was greeted by a resounding chorus of Happy Birthday. In hindsight we were foolish and should have instead performed a mash-up. “We Wish You A Merry Birthday” could have been the coveted Christmas Number 1!

I gave Pri-Lei the worlds smallest ‘Star Wars’ Journal. She said she liked it, although when she did her eye gave a funny twitch, which made me a little suspicious as to her integrity! I could tell you her age, but I do believe, in all honesty, that she would hunt me down and kill me! Happy Birthday Pri – Lei, work is so much funnier when you are around!

After the stampede for the buffet had calmed a little and teas and coffee’s had been made, the process of dolling out the Secret Santa presents began. The task of delivery fell to me, because I was a little excited by the whole affair (I don’t get out much). It has to be said that as far as our office goes, we were pretty shit at the whole secret bit. Through careful elimination and cock-ups we had all pretty much figured out our gift givers.

My gift giver was the Tinsel Twit, who made a guest appearance at the soirée despite still being unwell. How did I know it was her I hear you ask. Mainly because when all the presents had been given out she said oh I forgot to put mine over there, doh! Oh and the fact there was a huge packet of Swizzels Matlow Drumsticks hanging out of it too was another sure sign.

There was much laughter as one by one gifts were opened. I got lots of class Penguin things and also stationary, for which I have a bit of a fetish! As we went round in the circle there was also drink, DVD’s, shopping bags, Bonsai tree’s, socks, nipple vijazzles (don’t even ask) and frilly Merry Christmas knickers.

Last but not least came The Adorable Yeti, the only male in the office to partake of the Secret Santa. I thought I was excited but the bearded one took it to a whole other level. Each time he placed his hand into the gift bag and pulled out an item from inside he let out a big “Yeyyyyyyyy” which was then followed by lots of laughter from us. When he pulled out two tins of air freshener there was an even bigger roar of laughter. Last to come out of the bag though, was some fart putty, his Secret Santa knew him well, considering The Adorable Yeti is renowned for his amazing trouser trumps!

Fart Putty
The infamous ‘Fart Putty’

Needless to say  the rest of the afternoon in the office was a musical extravaganza, as each toot from the fart putty was followed by the bass of The Adorable Yeti’s laugh.

They might be eejits, but they are great craic!

Who did you say you were again?

Image by George Eastman House

So the other day, something very strange happened.

Still feeling a little glum after all the trauma of the card writing and the last minute frantic gift buying I decided I needed a time out and a little peace and quiet, so I headed into a well known coffee franchise and rewarded myself with a hefty serving of cappuccino. It seemed I had underestimated the peace and quiet aspect though, as a great number of other Christmas Shoppers had also elected to rest their weary legs. As luck would have it I found a small table tucked away in the corner, and there I sat mindlessly stirring my coffee while contemplating life in general.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Snapping out of my daydream I looked up to see a gentleman of around 60 years of age smiling down at me.

“No, sit away, let me just move my stuff. Nice beard and tache by the way, is that left over from Movember?”

He laughed, a nice tinkling kind of laugh. “No, that’s pretty much there all year round.”

“It’s cool, it’s so white, it’s almost like snow!”

Again he laughed. “Indeed. So what’s with the long face?”

This time I laughed, “You do realise that’s what the bar man said to the crocodile when it asked for a pint.”

“Ah, the old ones are the best. Seriously, why so glum?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Meh. Just not loving the Christmas vibe at the minute.”

“Any particular reason why?”

“None specifically, just lots of different little random ones, money, time, stress…go me, bah bloody humbug!”

He appeared thoughtful for a minute, “Hmm, are you not excited to see what Santa has brought you for Christmas?”

It was at this point that the mouthful of coffee I happened to be savouring left me and met in tiny droplets all over the gentleman’s face. “I’m sorry, that was unintentional, but I mean come on, Santa, what age do you think I am?”

“I think you are never to old to believe in Santa Claus, he, after all, believes in you.”

“Does he indeed. Well that’s good to know.”

“I note the sarcasm young lady, but he never gave up on you the year you hunted the house high and low looking for your Christmas presents. Come Christmas morning you still got the cabbage patch doll you asked for.”

“Yeah, that is true….wait a did you……”

“And he never forgot you the year you tried so hard to find out what your presents were, that your parents told you if you didn’t stop harping on they were going to sell you at the market.”

I laughed, “Yeah there is that too….hang on here…..”

“And he didn’t forget you the year you thought he had delivered your presents to your Sister. The look on your face when she pulled the football gloves you had asked for out of her stocking, oh how I….ahem, I mean oh how Santa must have laughed.”

“Wait just a minute, you said I…….”

“Anyway I must go, it’s been lovely to chat.”

“Wait I didn’t catch your name?”

“Well it’s Kris my dear, Kris Kringle and it’s been lovely to meet you.”

“It’s been nice to meet you too Mr Kringle,” and with that he was gone.

Funny thing is, the name is really familiar but I can’t think where I know it from, I’m sure it will come to me. It’s weird, but the Christmas cappuccino must have been just what I needed, because ever since that day I have been really looking forward to Christmas!

Written for the Okay, what if? Challenge, “What if you could have a conversation with Santa.”