The Devil made me do it!

Of late I’ve been picking random posts of my site to read. Mainly because I want to see if my writing has improved any at all. I used to love the What If? Challenge and tried to come up with something fun and quirky each week. This was one of my favourites, so in a fit of nostalgia, I am going to repost it.

I left the original details in so you get the idea what the challenge was. This was written in 2013, I wish my little brain could still think like this!


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This weeks Whatif? Challenge

What if you let your dark side take over?

An unfortunate event has allowed the Devil to own your soul. He has decided to give you a chance to get it back but to win it you must bring a smile to the Devil’s face with your actions. He allows you to have one full day in which you can do anything your heart desires without fear of consequences, retaliation, retribution or prosecution.

An unusual turn of events indeed. I have been pondering this one for a few days, well since Sunday, when the challenge went up. No one willingly wishes to court the Devil, so the conundrum is, how best to tackle this unfortunate event and in fact turn it to your advantage.

The Devil dislikes my body, he has no option but to use it as a host, so will spend endless hours fashioning it into a more visually pleasing and competent, super human vessel. Even without the option of choice, I will secretly marvel at my new svelte frame and flowing strawberry blond (gingerish) locks, some things it seems just cannot be amended. From the array of clothes that my new figure opens the opportunity of, I will select a black all in one jumpsuit, that clings to every curve and makes both womens and men’s heads turn. “Who are you?” they will say, awed by my presence and I shall reply, “I am the Ginga Ninja, remember my name, for it will be the ruination of many.”

Black Widow

The Devil turns his gaze from me, just for a few minutes. It seems his addiction to Starbucks coffee is just the same as any mortals. His lapse in concentration affords me the chance to substitute the list of victims he has provided, with my own.

He bids me farewell, a wry smile on his face.  It would appear he does indeed derive great pleasure from a soul in torment. I have 3 hours in which to perform 3 kills, if I am to make the Devil smile and regain my soul.

11.59 am

I slip into an apartment block just west of Sudsly Avenue. It is run down and dingy. Rats scuttle at my feet as I read the names on the mail boxes. Smiling, I mentally note the number and proceed to climb the stairs, mumbling about the fact that his nibs did not consider flying as an option, when it could have been so helpful. Stubborn bloody man.

Two henchmen guard the door, but they are no match for the Ginga Ninja and I quickly dispense of them and hide their bodies in the broom cupboard, giggling to myself about the cliché of it all.

True to his form, Bubbles the Beast McGinn is in the bath. It takes him a minute to realise I am there. “My boss sent me” I say. I am instantly recognizable as soulless, so I am not surprised by the look of shock on his face as I push his head below the water, holding it there until the beast bubbles no more.

12.45 pm

Lunchtime – Kentucky Fried Chicken for a Boneless Banquet for One – Gravy as the side. What ffs??? A girls gotta eat. This assassination lark is not easy and besides my feet are killing me in these high heeled boots!

2.30 pm

Destination downtown Dumpsville. A laundromat on the corner of Persil Place. The sign in the window asks for young female workers, promising good benefits and competitive rates of pay. Rita the Rinser has been using the same ploy for years to lull young girls into her lair. She promises them the earth before she drugs them and sells them on as either prostitutes or slaves. I spy her loading washing into a huge clanking machine and quick as lightening I am behind her. Again she can sense I am soulless and visibly relaxes, that is until I whisper in her ear, “My boss sent me” and push her headlong into the machine, setting it for boil wash.

3.05 pm

A quick call into Manicures for the Mighty. I need to look in pristine condition for my next job, the last on my list.

3.45 pm

A prestigious fashion house. In full stealth mode I hitch a ride to the top floor hidden in a rack of clothes. I see my prey hunched over, pencil in hand, sketching out the new seasons trends. Saying not a single word I snap his neck like a twig.

4.15 pm

Grabbing a Starbucks I head back to ‘Satan’s Shack’ a prestigious gambling establishment I know he with the horns frequents. Sure enough, there he is surrounded by women and being fawned over by men. I step forward and offer the Starbucks.

Me: “I’m all finished, can I have my soul back please?”

Devil: “Why would you even ask such a stupid question, you have just killed two of my most loyal staff members, how could you ever imagine this would please me.”

Me: “I thought you knew everything ffs. Every night those two pray to God to forgive them for theirs sins. Every night their excuse is the same, ‘the devil made me do it’. In the end they were going to be detrimental to your business, and besides you’re going to save a fecking fortune on bubbles and soap powder.”

Devil: (sniggers) “Dam, you made me laugh, and by the terms of our agreement I must give you back your soul. Get out of my sight, I never wish to lay eyes on you again.”

Me: “Suits me. Any chance I can keep the body till the morning though?”

Devil: “GET OUT!!”

I figure my svelte figure could disappear at any second, so I decide to make as much as I can of the little time I have left and head to my local pub ‘The Pearly Gates’. Peter my favourite barman is on and after greeting me with a smile he pushes a pint of water across the bar to me.

Peter: “Busy day huh?”

Me: “Sure was. Is the boss happy?”

Peter: “Delighted, he’s been after those two for a while, however he did mention the fact that you deviated from the original plan and added in an extra assassination. There were only meant to be two.”

Me: “Yeah I know,”

Peter: “So enlighten me. The first two I can understand, but the third one has left me a little confused as well.”

Me: (shrugs shoulders) It was just for fun, and pretty simple really, the devil wears Prada.

 

 

Everything works out in the end – FFF39

There’s light above me, but even though I reach out I cannot touch it. 

Sun rays penetrate the water and under any other circumstances I would admire their beauty. 

I feel weightless, yet I continue to sink, the story of my life surrounding me, notebooks, photographs and letters, everything documented, but never to be seen. 

Before all this happened, when you still loved me, you would have told me everything works out in the end. 

Not this time I think to myself as I look down at the concrete boots you have fastened around my feet. 

This is my end. 


Love the song choice this week from Matt over at The Book Blogger for this weeks Flash Fiction Foray. I’m really enjoying these challenges, I love just listening to the music and seeing where it takes me. It might help  too, if you listened to the song while reading, you might understand better where my wonky little mind was wandering to.

This week after a little tweaking I think I once again came in on 100 words. 

If you would like to try this for yourself, you can find all the information in relation to this weeks challenge HERE

For more information about the Flash Fiction Foray event itself, click HERE

 

 

New World Coming – FFF38

For this weeks Flash Fiction Foray  Matt over at The Book Blogger very kindly used my music suggestion. Considering I had put it forward you would have thought I would have had a clue what to write, but no, it’s going to be as much of a surprise for me as it is for you.

If you would like to join in, clicking the link at the start of this paragraph will take you to this weeks challenge, or clicking HERE will take you to all the relevant information you require.  It’s only 100 little words :)

Here is my entry.

Music filled the forest as the mist crept ever closer, it’s cold fingers reaching from the sky to the very blades of grass beneath Polly’s feet.

‘I don’t like this’ said Teddy. ‘We’ll only go a little further.’

‘It has to be around here somewhere’ said an exasperated Polly.

And it was, it was just around the bend, a little door at the foot of an old and withering tree, with pebbles for a path.

‘Are you ready Teddy,  because once we go through, we can never come back?’

‘I’m ready, there’s a new world coming and it’s not good.’

 


I’d a couple of ideas for this one, I may or may not do another one. In the end though I chose my preferred characters, Polly and Teddy who I have had adventures with before. 

It’s not as easy as it first appears this malarky, but after much thought and editing as far as I know I came in right on the 100 words!

Getting to know me

I’ve seen the ‘Get to know me’ type challenge doing the rounds for a while now, but never really paid much attention. I’m not usually a fan of tag type prompts / awards, mainly because way back when I first started I had a few issues with Akismet thinking I was a pain in the arse robot or something else sinister. If you’re interested you can read why I choose to be an Award free blog here.

It’s interesting that I should choose to pick this up and complete it now, but after the last four years I too am trying to get to know myself. So I thought I would share.

There are a set list of questions which I will answer, however I have left out the part where you are supposed to tag others. It’s an interesting little exercise so if you think you might like to join in, please feel free to do so.

1. Who are you named after?

No one is the short answer. I used to be miffed because most of the ladies in my immediate family had ‘Elizabeth’ in their name and I didn’t, I’m just some randomer. I did ask the Fathership once if he knew why I was named Julie, but even he can’t remember. Shall we just go with the I’m unique line?

2. Do you like your handwriting?

Sometimes. Others say they like it and would class me as a very neat writer, I think it’s a bit all over the place. I can easily waste three or four pages in a book writing and re-writing until I am happy with the final result.

3. What is your favourite lunch meat?

Hmmm, that’s tricky and I’m not sure I could narrow it down to just one, so lets go for chicken, with a salad, or bacon with toast and a poached egg! Vegetarians please look away, but I do like Ox tongue too with salad, which everyone else thinks is gross!

4. Longest relationship?

That’s a hard one to answer when it was on and off over a large number of years. Condensed it probably wasn’t that long.

Without doubt the most difficult relationship I have had is the one with myself, that one I am still working on.

5. Do you still have your tonsils?

Why yes, yes I do

6. Would you bungee jump?

Hell no. Let me be more specific as to the reasons why. The main reason is black eyes from the potential bounce back from the boo……you get the idea. Secondly, my dodgy knees would probably just come apart, now wouldn’t that be a shock for those left on the platform, my DM boots hitting them in the kisser.

7. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Generally yes, as I tend to wear boots a lot. Converse and the like probably not so much, those just get prised off with the toe to heel manoeuvre.

8. Favourite Ice Cream?

Chocolate, with Malteasers pushed down into the middle of it. Chop Pop if we’re going for the lolly variety :)

9. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Generally their footwear, being an introvert anything above the ankle is usually out of bounds if I don’t know then. Other than that, it would be if they wear a smile.

10. Football or baseball?

Neither. If you were forcing me to watch a sport it would most likely be rugby, there is something quite appealing about that game, or at least the men that play it ;)

11. What colour pants are you wearing?

Now is this UK ‘pants’ or American ‘pants’ because believe me they are two very different things. I’m going to guess that you’re not being rude and do in fact mean trousers. They are grey and black with Animal from The Muppets all over then. Don’t judge, it’s is a Sunday, the day for lounge wear.

12. Last thing you ate?

Please refer to question 8, it was a Chop Pop. Don’t tell my Doctor though, I’m supposed to be cutting down!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

Oh black all the way. That’s just the kinda girl I am.

14. Favourite smell?

It’s not my bottom burps that’s for sure. Let’s go for freshly cut grass or clean linen.

15. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

I prefer texting! But it was probably the Fathership.

16. Hair colour?

Strawberry Blond / light brown / gingerishly going grey probably.

17. Eye Colour?

Blue, but this week people tried to tell me they were green. So many in fact that I was starting to think I had been wrong all my life. But no, I checked, they are blue!

18. Favourite foods to eat?

At the minute Spring rolls from my local take away, oh they are sooooo good. That said, you just can’t beat a chicken dinner with all the trimmings.

19. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings. Scary movies do bad things to my blood pressure and sleep pattern. I’m of a certain age now though that even happy endings usually require tissues on standby.

20. Last movie you watched?

Miss Perigrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be, but I still loved it.

21. Favourite holiday?

I haven’t had one in the last 20 years so I don’t know. My memory is shocking. Edinburgh was always one of my favourite places to go, so I shall say that. The Fathership and I are hoping to go for a weekend at some point this year.

22. Beer or Wine?

Neither, I’m not a drinker. Coffee or water are my two main drinks these days.

23. Night owl or early bird?

Night owl, although the older I get there is less of a gap between the two. Sometimes I want to go back to bed about 10 minutes after waking up :)

24. Favourite day of the week?

Probably Sunday. Saturday is reserved for housework, Sunday is the day I actually try and not have to do very much at all, even though that rarely happens.

Did I cover everything? If not and there is still something you would like to know, then please ask? Within reason though, not even I can tell you next weeks winning lottery numbers.

 


If you would like to participate yourself, here is a list of the questions that you can copy and paste.

1. Who are you named after?
2. Do you like your handwriting?
3. What is your favourite lunch meat?
4. Longest relationship?
5. Do you still have your tonsils?
6. Would you bungee jump?
7. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
8. Favorite ice cream?
9. What is the first thing you notice about people?
10. Football or baseball?
11. What color pants are you wearing?
12. Last thing you ate?
13. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
14. Favorite smell?
15. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
16. Hair color?
17. Eye color?
18. Favorite foods to eat?
19. Scary movies or happy endings?
20. Last movie you watched?
21. Favorite holiday?
22. Beer or wine?
23. Night owl or early bird?
24. Favourite day of the week?

Whiteout Wednesday #7

The blossoms of love form a mist.

Romantic.

The flowers white and star-shape; prolong the charm, producing a certain plumpness that was fashionable in plants

Katherine’s flower has stuck throughout the centuries.

~~~~~

I have no clue if I have done the Whiteout challenge correctly, but for my good friend who runs it I at least thought I would try :) Michael and his 10ft celery also piqued my interest. 

If you are interested too, please check here for all the details required to join in! 

Whiteout Wednesday 

MFTS – This is not a game anymore

“Where did they go?” I turned round to ask Paul and then realised he was not there.

A sharp whinny drew my attention to the left, where I came face to nose with a horse. Not just any horse, but a Hungarian Half-Bred, not unlike the one I had been riding 2 minutes ago. Only this one was real and if it wasn’t this was some of the best CGI I had ever seen. Looking around, it was almost like I had been transported into the game.

On hearing footsteps I turned to be confronted by John Marston.

“You going to stand there all day, we have wolves to hunt. Buckle up bitch, it’s time for some real life Red Dead Redemption.”

~

(Written for Monday’s Finish the Story – click link for more information. If you’re not a gamer you may not get the reference, but this reminded me so much of a scene from the game Red Dead Redemption, that I had no other choice. 121 words, slap bang (kinda) in the middle. These are fun, give it a try!)

Much more than I imagined!

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Power of Words by Antonio Litterio

Dear Mr Charisma,

On Monday whilst perusing my reader I came across your prompt for that day. It was entitled ‘Imagine‘. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a prompt that inspired me, but strangely yours did. For the first time in a long time I didn’t worry or plan what I was going to write, I just sat down and wrote. It was a short little piece that came straight from the heart and said everything that I needed it to say. I posted it, pinged back to your site, went to bed and thought no more of it for a day or so.

On Thursday morning when I awoke and checked my phone, it said I had 50 e-mails. I wasn’t that concerned as my mobile likes to play tricks on me sometimes, pretending I am more popular than I actually am by doubling and sometimes tripling up on e-mails as they come in.

I’m still at that stage in blogging where I like to see if anyone has liked what I have written, I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t care, but I’m easily pleased, I am as happy with one as I am ten. I think to date my record for likes on a single post was around 20 ish for something I have written, so I thought with the doubled up e-mails I perhaps had 25 and I was more than happy with that.

I had to go to work so I didn’t pay too much attention. I’m not much of a morning person, I need to get up and get out as quickly as possibly, because usually everything is left till the last minute.

I remember the time almost exactly, it was 8.20 am on the morning of the 17th April, whilst sitting on a train bound for Belfast that I discovered that each of the 50 e-mails I had received were genuine. I can only describe the look on my face as that of a fish as I looked around for the hidden cameras with my mouth opening and closing pretty much like…well..a fish!

I smiled and then I smiled some more. 50 people liked a post I had written. That’s pretty huge in my little word.

Throughout the day I got more e-mails, notifying me of more likes and new followers. In the middle was one saying that you, Don Charisma had reblogged my post and everything fell into place.

I guess you are wondering why I am writing this post, well you see it still has to do with the theme of your prompt.

When I first started blogging just over a year ago now and before I had met some of the awesome people that I have, I used to imagine what it would be like to be ‘Freshly Pressed’. I used to look at blogs that had over 300 followers and be in complete awe.

As time wore one I realised that none of that was important to me, I was perfectly happy to be just me, I considered myself extremely lucky to have met the people I did, and after seeing some of the other blogs out there I realised I was never going to win any awards for my writing, and I was ok with that too.

I smiled all day on April the 17th 2014, because of you. You took the time to reblog my little post, sharing it with your extended family, who then took the time to stop by and tell me they liked it. Some of them have even decided to hang around and they are more than welcome.

I received 117 likes on a simple little post. To some, who perhaps get this number day and daily that would seem normal, to me, well I still can’t quite believe it and I am truly humbled.

I don’t need to imagine anymore, because you Mr Charisma, have made me feel like I have been freshly pressed and to you and your followers, I am very grateful.

 

The Indecisive Eejit :)

NB – I had to do a little edit because I got my dates mixed up! Yes I am an eejit :)

 

 

The Devil made me do it!

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This weeks Whatif? Challenge

What if you let your dark side take over?
An unfortunate event has allowed the Devil to own your soul. He has decided to give you a chance to get it back but to win it you must bring a smile to the Devil’s face with your actions. He allows you to have one full day in which you can do anything your heart desires without fear of consequences, retaliation, retribution or prosecution.

An unusual turn of events indeed. I have been pondering this one for a few days, well since Sunday, when the challenge went up. No one willingly wishes to court the Devil, so the conundrum is, how best to tackle this unfortunate event and in fact turn it to your advantage.

The Devil dislikes my body, he has no option but to use it as a host, so will spend endless hours fashioning it into a more visually pleasing and competent, super human vessel. Even without the option of choice, I will secretly marvel at my new svelte frame and flowing strawberry blond (gingerish) locks, some things it seems just cannot be amended. From the array of clothes that my new figure opens the opportunity of, I will select a black all in one jumpsuit, that clings to every curve and makes both womens and men’s heads turn. “Who are you?” they will say, awed by my presence and I shall reply, “I am the Ginga Ninja, remember my name, for it will be the ruination of many.”

Black Widow
The Ginga Ninja looks a little like this!

The Devil turns his gaze from me, just for a few minutes. It seems his addiction to Starbucks coffee is just the same as any mortals. His lapse in concentration affords me the chance to substitute the list of victims he has provided, with my own.

He bids me farewell, a wry smile on his face.  It would appear he does indeed derive great pleasure from a soul in torment. I have 3 hours in which to perform 3 kills, if I am to make the Devil smile and regain my soul.

11.59 am

I slip into an apartment block just west of Sudsly Avenue. It is run down and dingy. Rats scuttle at my feet as I read the names on the mail boxes. Smiling, I mentally note the number and proceed to climb the stairs, mumbling about the fact that his nibs did not consider flying as an option, when it could have been so helpful. Stubborn bloody man.

Two henchmen guard the door, but they are no match for the Ginga Ninja and I quickly dispense of them and hide their bodies in the broom cupboard, giggling to myself about the cliché of it all.

True to his form, Bubbles the Beast McGinn is in the bath. It takes him a minute to realise I am there. “My boss sent me” I say. I am instantly recognizable as soulless, so I am not surprised by the look of shock on his face as I push his head below the water, holding it there until the beast bubbles no more.

12.45 pm

Lunchtime – Kentucky Fried Chicken for a Boneless Banquet for One – Gravy as the side. What ffs??? A girls gotta eat. This assassination lark is not easy and besides my feet are killing me in these high heeled boots!

2.30 pm

Destination downtown Dumpsville. A laundromat on the corner of Persil Place. The sign in the window asks for young female workers, promising good benefits and competitive rates of pay. Rita the Rinser has been using the same ploy for years to lull young girls into her lair. She promises them the earth before she drugs them and sells them on as either prostitutes or slaves. I spy her loading washing into a huge clanking machine and quick as lightening I am behind her. Again she can sense I am soulless and visibly relaxes, that is until I whisper in her ear, “My boss sent me” and push her headlong into the machine, setting it for boil wash.

3.05 pm

A quick call into Manicures for the Mighty. I need to look in pristine condition for my next job, the last on my list.

3.45 pm

A prestigious fashion house. In full stealth mode I hitch a ride to the top floor hidden in a rack of clothes. I see my prey hunched over, pencil in hand, sketching out the new seasons trends. Saying not a single word I snap his neck like a twig.

4.15 pm

Grabbing a Starbucks I head back to ‘Satan’s Shack’ a prestigious gambling establishment I know he with the horns frequents. Sure enough, there he is surrounded by women and being fawned over by men. I step forward and offer the Starbucks.

Me: “I’m all finished, can I have my soul back please?”

Devil: “Why would you even ask such a stupid question, you have just killed two of my most loyal staff members, how could you ever imagine this would please me.”

Me: “I thought you knew everything ffs. Every night those two pray to God to forgive them for theirs sins. Every night their excuse is the same, ‘the devil made me do it’. In the end they were going to be detrimental to your business, and besides you’re going to save a fecking fortune on bubbles and soap powder.”

Devil: (sniggers) “Dam, you made me laugh, and by the terms of our agreement I must give you back your soul. Get out of my sight, I never wish to lay eyes on you again.”

Me: “Suits me. Any chance I can keep the body till the morning though?”

Devil: “GET OUT!!”

I figure my svelte figure could disappear at any second, so I decide to make as much as I can of the little time I have left and head to my local pub ‘The Pearly Gates’. Peter my favourite barman is on and after greeting me with a smile he pushes a pint of water across the bar to me.

Peter: “Busy day huh?”

Me: “Sure was. Is the boss happy?”

Peter: “Delighted, he’s been after those two for a while, however he did mention the fact that you deviated from the original plan and added in an extra assassination. There were only meant to be two.”

Me: “Yeah I know,”

Peter: “So enlighten me. The first two I can understand, but the third one has left me a little confused as well.”

Me: (shrugs shoulders) It was just for fun, and pretty simple really, the devil wears Prada.