It’s all gone to……….

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I feel like I’m going slowly crazy. What an opening line that is huh, some would say I am already half way there.

You’re wondering why I feel this way aren’t you, well I mean you better be, because you’re going to find out whether you want to or not. I’m nice like that, I like to share.

Work has been crazy…..it’s like someone has been plying it with red bull, so each morning it smacks you in the face. Full on assault, every feckin day! I never seem to go home anymore thinking that’s great, I got so much done. These days it’s like WTF just happened, I am sooooooo glad this day is over.

All I seem to do is work. Work during the week and work at weekends, and to top it all off, I constantly need to work at trying to stay sane.

Even GTA has been driving me nuts ffs. I was in the other night, minding my own business doing missions and this guy decides to try and mow me down. Dude, we’re supposed to be a team, on the same side, good versus bad remember. Only his rogue little ass is trying to run all over mine and the other guys, who is actually still trying to complete the mission while all this is going on. So I grab a helicopter and I’m flying around trying to save the other non physco civilian in the room who has our captive in tow, devil dude is driving around like a maniac and I land the chopper and make mince meat of everyone. I don’t often face palm, but on this occasion I left bruises!!

I don’t have a dog, but if I did even it would have been disgusted.

I switched over to Trials Fusion after that. I used to think it was so sweet how it made little video clips for me, until I realised they were entitled ‘That’s just Wrong’ and they actually detailed my epic disasters. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Maybe I need a new pass time :)

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I am a Criminal Mastermind

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Warning – I’m going to talk about gaming, so if that’s liable to put you to sleep, I advise you to carry on about your business!

Once upon a time on the Emerald Isle a geeky gamer met three lads from various parts of the UK. It’s funny how murder and mayhem can bring people together, but that’s exactly what happens in GTA, although there is the possibility that the Irish accent charmed them just a little.

These three lads wanted to embark on a challenging and dangerous adventure and realising that the geeky one was marginally less rubbish than the random strangers the game teamed them with, they invited her along for the ride.

What ensued was two months of murder and mayhem, random deaths, her arse being blown apart by randomly launched rockets and tears of frustration, that was the lads, honestly.

Let me briefly explain the Criminal Mastermind Challenge in GTA. There are a series of heists, five in total that need to be completed. Each has around five set up missions before the actual heist takes place. There are bank robberies, prison breakouts, lab raids, drugs and finally, a $1.25 million bank raid. So you know, just a little something to get your teeth into.

It is quite possibly the most difficult challenge within GTA. None of the four person team can die during any of the parts involved, if you do, then it’s back to the start.

Somehow, against all the odds, this little group of random strangers banded together over the course of two months and became a team. They say practice makes perfect and for them that was the case as on Sunday past they finally completed the challenge.

In the very last part of the final heist not a word was spoken, in fact I’m not sure anyone even took a breath, no one wanted to jinx the mission so close to the end.

Collective deep breaths and curses could be heard when the team passed into the final checkpoint. They were finally done!

It was a long haul, but it was fun! And the payday, well that was a cool 10 million dollars. Shame it isn’t really eh!

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Week 3 of Seven Weeks of Weird!

7weirdAnd so it continues, the Wednesday Weirdness created by none other than Mental Mama herself. If you’re unsure what it’s all about, you can follow this LINK! But be afraid, be very afraid!

I’m actually beginning to think that I am not as weird as I first thought as I am having a tough time answering these questions. That said, I probably am weird, but have convinced myself that my quirks are both normal and endearing.

This weeks question asks:

Weirdest Thing You Do To Relax

Thats a bit of a weird question to ask me really, because I suffer from anxiety and also have a healthy worrying habit to contend with, so I don’t feel like I ever relax. There is always something spinning in my head.

On days when the stress all gets a little too much for me, I find the only way to release the tension is to go on a rampage and leave a trail of destruction in my wake! Doing this in real life would most certainly lead to a spell of imprisonment and shoot my anxiety levels through the roof, so I had to find another avenue through which to vent, and unsurprisingly that was GTA V!

Now I know to a lot of you this will not seem so weird, I am sure a lot of people vent theirs frustrations via gaming, but seriously, it’s the wackiest thing I could come up with.

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How did you know it was me?

Owing to the fact my disguise was so good I figured they would never realise it was me who robbed the convenience store, or stole the cars! Then I realised I was still ginger, WTF, back to the drawing board!

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Wait, are those my knickers?

My second attempt was a little more successful, however I seemed to attract the wrong kind of men.

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Starsky and Hutch eat your heart out!

My third and final attempt was totally successful! No one in their right minds was ever going to recognize me dressed as a girl, high heels and all! After many attempts I was finally able to master the Starsky and Hutch slide without showing my Knickers!! Sometimes though, not even gaming is enough to help you relax. On those days, well there is nothing else for it but to revert to the old fashioned method of sitting on the toilet and having a serious think about where your life is going!!

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Ah balls, that better not be the end of the role!

Till next week Eejits :)

 

Hump Day News Round Up!

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The above picture actually looks a little like how I did on Tuesday of this week. I had to make an appearance for a meeting, which falls under the remit of the new job. I wore a pink shirt. Let me tell you that again in case you missed it, I wore a pink shirt! Now you’ll probably not understand how much of a big deal this is for me, but it really seriously is, on a huge scale. Lets just say than when I wear anything other than black, every fecking person on the planet seems to notice. I felt self conscious and uncomfortable the whole day, but I am going to have to suck it up and get used to it, cos this will have to be the new normal!

Speaking of clothes, I was rather excited when I got an e-mail to say that the clothes store I favour was having a 50% off sale. I’m still on the lookout for a few more work shirts etc, now that I know for sure I am moving. You can imagine my disappointment when after 30 minutes of trawling I found out that the only things still in stock, in my size, are a pair of socks! I’ve heard of fur coat and no knickers, I’m just not sure how well, all socks and no suit would go down with the new boss.

I’ve jumped on the Bloglovin bandwagon. I’d signed up ages ago, but just never got around to doing anything with it. In all honesty I’ve still not done anything with it except follow a few friends. I like the idea that you can add any blog you wish, regardless of whether they have signed up or not. Well at least I think that’s how it works.

I’m glad I’ve found it, because I’ve been having a problem with the wordpress reader for a while. It seems to only show me 20 new posts and no more, so I’ve been missing quite a few. I’ve switched a couple of the photography blogs I follow over to Bloglovin, as due to the volume of posts they were dominating my reader. So don’t panic, I’m still stalking you :)

Last night on arriving home I was ready to commit murder! You’ll be aware from my recent posts (if you actually read them!) that I have spent the last 3 weekends getting the house ready for my Aunts visit. Things were looking up, and my stress levels had almost returned to an acceptable level. Walking into the house last night changed all of that, I really did resemble this:

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What the absolute f**k!!

I said nothing, not a word, and believe me, that’s when I am at my most deadly. I did however bang pots and pans and  sigh a lot, because although some arguments are just not worth pursuing, there is still a need to show disapproval.

The Mothership had started to tidy the good room, which over the course of the last year has become her new dumping ground, since the upstairs room was at that stage pretty much full to bursting. Let me translate ‘tidy’ for you, in this house it means carry the stuff from said room you wish to cleanse and dump the shite it contains onto any available surface that has been previously cleared and decluttered. When I calmed down, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to cry or bang my head repeatedly off a brick wall. In the end I did neither, I had a shower, a strong coffee, loaded GTA V and basically shot the shit out of anything that moved. Weirdly, I did feel a little more relaxed come bed time.

Needless to say I have another weekend of cleaning in front of me, more than likely revisiting places I have already done. Gotta love Dementia, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.

Finally…….

It seems my Sister, after reading my blog, has been practicing her Haiku skills. Her first attempt certainly made me laugh, so I just had to share it. Here is her Haiku of the day –

Sitting on the train
Enveloped in a fart cloud
Of my own making.

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of those on the Northern Ireland Railways Belfast Departure who may not make it home alive, unless of course they had the foresight to pack a gas mask this morning.

Happy Hump Day Eejits :) x

 

Totally Random!

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Image by twilightfan1997

Sometimes it’s all just going on in the top box, round and round in the empty space between the ears and the only thing left to do is get it out there into the open. Be forewarned of the randomness of this post, leave now and forever preserve your sanity!

Reading

I’m behind on my reading of other blogs. I keep being interrupted by annoying things like work, housework, cooking and cleaning. Ok so there might also be a little bit of Candy Crush and Cookie Crunch or whatever it’s called, but it’s pretty much the first four!

Aside from the above there is also the issue of the WordPress reader. I like it, alot, however because I follow so many blogs, posts tend to get lost. I’ll start it up in the morning and regardless of how many new posts there are, it will always say 20. When I hit load and read those 20, it automatically takes me back to the ones from the day before, meaning I miss out on all the beautific blogginess inbetween.

It’s not a life endangering problem or anything, but it is annoying. I’m really nosey, I don’t want to miss anything. So my question is, do any of you have suggestions for other readers for say the Android platform into which I could load all the blogs I love and then see them as a feed perhaps, never again missing an important post?

Wow, reading back on that I almost sound like I know what I am talking about. The truth is however that I am clueless and in need of assistance…bats eyelids!

How do you read yours? (said in my best Creme Egg voice)

Girls on GTA

Anyone who follows my blog will remember the post I did in relation to Grand Theft Auto and my likes and dislikes regarding it.

I still find the reaction I get from guys really funny. Some of them still cannot believe that girls actually game, and on hearing your voice either become tongue tied and shy, or morph into a total asshole, telling you that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and should have all your attention.

Luckily my friends just treat me exactly the same, and offer no preferential treatment just because I am of the female persuasion. They do however make allowances for the fact I am stupid and offer a fair amount of help to compensate for that.

The funniest thing to date though has to be someone joining the party chat and GTA game session I was in and on realising I was a female drove as fast as their little CGI car could travel to check me out. For badness I turned around and asked him if he thought my bum looked big in the jeans I was wearing. I mean come on, it’s a game and I built a character, I’m not going to make it a likeness now am I. I’m going to take great care to get the boobs, belly and butt I always wanted, not the ones I have!!

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Does my bum look big?

Random Game Recommendations

As if being shamefully addicted to Candy Crush was not enough, Paul, yep the twat who owns, but never writes over at Nugs321 thought it would be fun to issue me a challenge for Cookie Jam. He always knows that the best way to get me to do something is to start a sentence with “I bet you can’t….”. In this case, the challenge was to beat his current level which at the time was 35. So of course in order to prove him wrong I did just that, and became addicted at the same time.

It’s pretty similar to Candy Crush only you have to make cakes. It’s good mindless, time wasting fun, but it’s starting to interfere with my journeys to and from work as by the time I play those 5 lives and the 5 for Candy Crush and then switch back, there is precious little time to do anything else!

Quick, help me find a reader! (See Random fact No 1)

Here endeth the randomness, you may resume what you were doing :)

 

Grand Theft of my Senses!

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All this fuss over a bus shelter…WTF!!

I started playing GTA V, mainly because three of my bestest Xbox chums asked me too. I didn’t think I’d like it, but figured I would give it a shot anyway, there was nothing to lose. I tend to try games before I purchase them in order to check to see if I will or will not suffer motion sickness, but no one was relinquishing their copy so I dived straight in and purchased a cheap one from Ebay.Read More »