Remember Me!


It’s been so long since I’ve been here I’ve almost forgotten how to post. Ok so perhaps it’s not quite as drastic as that, but it has been a long time. I was happy to note however that there have not been too many more changes to the WordPress platform since my last visit, I was a tad worried.

So where have I been? Well I’ve been nowhere but right where I always am, I’ve just been caught up and getting squashed by life. We had a couple of really bad weeks with the Mothership meaning mentally I was not fit for any kind of interaction let alone writing. Every day it seems to be that a little more of my time becomes taken up with the things that need to be done, at this rate, there will be none left.

As far as Christmas goes I’m actually in fairly good shape. The Motherships cards are all written although it would seem she does not believe me, as every time a card is received she asks me at least ten times did they get one. Wonder no more why I hate the alleged season of being jolly, my good will meter is almost empty.

I’ve missed this place, but despite wanting to write and actually sitting down to write, nothing came to mind, mainly, because there were too many other things on my mind already.

I’m behind on reading too, sorry about that, again a combination of needing space and a rekindling of my love for Cookie Jam which has been keeping me amused on the journey to work. I also downloaded Candy Crush again, something I had not played much of since my leg recuperation days. I’ve lost most of my progress though and as a result am battling my way from the beginning, ripping my hair out in the process and wondering how I ever made it through these evil levels in the first place.

I have penned many posts previously in relation to my addiction to the above game, the search terms it generates, and the fact that some people play it naked….don’t even ask, but I swear this time, I am adopting a more level headed approach……I haven’t put it on my phone…..yet!

Anyway, I just though I would drop by, let you know I am still alive and give you a mini hi five, because you are after all, really rather awesome.

I’m hoping to get back to some normality soon, so see you on the flip side!

Totally Random!

Image by twilightfan1997

Sometimes it’s all just going on in the top box, round and round in the empty space between the ears and the only thing left to do is get it out there into the open. Be forewarned of the randomness of this post, leave now and forever preserve your sanity!


I’m behind on my reading of other blogs. I keep being interrupted by annoying things like work, housework, cooking and cleaning. Ok so there might also be a little bit of Candy Crush and Cookie Crunch or whatever it’s called, but it’s pretty much the first four!

Aside from the above there is also the issue of the WordPress reader. I like it, alot, however because I follow so many blogs, posts tend to get lost. I’ll start it up in the morning and regardless of how many new posts there are, it will always say 20. When I hit load and read those 20, it automatically takes me back to the ones from the day before, meaning I miss out on all the beautific blogginess inbetween.

It’s not a life endangering problem or anything, but it is annoying. I’m really nosey, I don’t want to miss anything. So my question is, do any of you have suggestions for other readers for say the Android platform into which I could load all the blogs I love and then see them as a feed perhaps, never again missing an important post?

Wow, reading back on that I almost sound like I know what I am talking about. The truth is however that I am clueless and in need of assistance…bats eyelids!

How do you read yours? (said in my best Creme Egg voice)

Girls on GTA

Anyone who follows my blog will remember the post I did in relation to Grand Theft Auto and my likes and dislikes regarding it.

I still find the reaction I get from guys really funny. Some of them still cannot believe that girls actually game, and on hearing your voice either become tongue tied and shy, or morph into a total asshole, telling you that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and should have all your attention.

Luckily my friends just treat me exactly the same, and offer no preferential treatment just because I am of the female persuasion. They do however make allowances for the fact I am stupid and offer a fair amount of help to compensate for that.

The funniest thing to date though has to be someone joining the party chat and GTA game session I was in and on realising I was a female drove as fast as their little CGI car could travel to check me out. For badness I turned around and asked him if he thought my bum looked big in the jeans I was wearing. I mean come on, it’s a game and I built a character, I’m not going to make it a likeness now am I. I’m going to take great care to get the boobs, belly and butt I always wanted, not the ones I have!!

0_0 (1)
Does my bum look big?

Random Game Recommendations

As if being shamefully addicted to Candy Crush was not enough, Paul, yep the twat who owns, but never writes over at Nugs321 thought it would be fun to issue me a challenge for Cookie Jam. He always knows that the best way to get me to do something is to start a sentence with “I bet you can’t….”. In this case, the challenge was to beat his current level which at the time was 35. So of course in order to prove him wrong I did just that, and became addicted at the same time.

It’s pretty similar to Candy Crush only you have to make cakes. It’s good mindless, time wasting fun, but it’s starting to interfere with my journeys to and from work as by the time I play those 5 lives and the 5 for Candy Crush and then switch back, there is precious little time to do anything else!

Quick, help me find a reader! (See Random fact No 1)

Here endeth the randomness, you may resume what you were doing :)


Unsociable Interaction!

Photograph by Jason Howie (click for more info)

Whilst traveling home on the train tonight a friend remarked about how the simple art of conversation has died out and everyone seems to be on some kind of mobile device or other. I could only hang my head in shame, as I am one of those people!

What on earth did we do before mobile phones and technology? How did we amuse ourselves? It seems like such a long time ago, it’s hard to imagine a life without gadgets.Read More »

A Lightbulb Moment!

I think WordPress had a little too much alcohol last night, because it doesn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders today. I’ve been catching up on my reading, but on most of the posts I read I was unable to ‘Like’ as the button constantly sat at loading. I’ve also noticed that likes and pictures numbers do not tally, so obviously something internally is a little askew. I am sure it will sort itself out.

followed-blog-200-1xThe first good news of the year happened last night at 3am when I went to bed, steady on you with the dirty mind, I meant I finally got my little 200 Likes badge from WordPress. See, for all those who doubted me it just proves that if you whinge, moan, beg and bride, you can get what you want! Thank you to all those who helped make it happen.

The second piece of news is that in just 105 more views I will have reached 20, 000. That’s quite a milestone and I would love to say that it’s all to do with my scintillating charm wit and personality. Sadly I think it’s more to do with the worlds shameless addiction to the game Candy Crush and the fact that I chose to write about it. None the less, I am still as happy as a big happy thing :)

The New Year and a chance conversation got me thinking about the things I want to achieve in 2014. Parts of the conversation centered around the fact that many of us wished things had been different in 2013 and in some cases that we had a life other than the one we were living. That one I could emphasise with.

Although I may not have the most exciting life, which in turn means I don’t have many exciting and wondrous tales to blog about, one thing I have been blessed with is a fairly active imagination. This last year, through various challenges I was drawn into the world of fiction, and I discovered I liked it. There is a certain freedom about being able to write exactly what you want under the guise of fiction and imagination. So I’ve had an idea, in fact I did so much thinking today my brain hurts.

My intention is to introduce another character to my blog, through whom I can vicariously live a life less ordinary. It will hopefully be humorous and entertaining. I did briefly toy with the idea of creating a second blog to undertake this adventure but I love you guys and know that you will all help and critique me if required. It’s only an idea at present, whether I can actually make it work is one thing, and how I integrate it with my blog is another.

So what do you think, good idea or bad? and have you any ideas of a name for my character, I am open to suggestions, in fact I would welcome them after my idea of Fanny Fictitious got shot down in flames.

Over to you…………

Bollox to Bakebook!

It took Lee 30 seconds to make up a new cartoon for me!

I’m beginning to dislike Facebook. My use of the word ‘beginning’ would of course imply that I liked it in the first place, however that’s not strictly true.

I’ve tolerated it, it does after all have uses, like keeping in touch with friends and family overseas.

I’ve had many a fun post or three with my good friends Udders and Monkey, silliness that kept us laughing into the wee small hours. We have also shared many a photograph that has kept others laughing into the wee small hours. It hasn’t all been bad.

Perhaps it’s me, or the mood I have found myself in lately, but these days I find I have no inclination to check news feeds, unless it’s Udders showing us all her new chest and drawers, oops I mean chest of drawers!

My news feed is littered with game requests, farm animals, what the world and his wife are having for dinner, memes about wine and people whining!
I mean for feck sake give me a break, the world is full of enough doom and gloom without me having to read all about it on Facebook as well.

When I was off with alien leg, I used to put updates on regarding the current status of my recovery. What can I say, I’m lazy, and it was the easiest ways to reach a lot of people in one swift smack of the return key, but unbeknownst to me I turned into one of those people and all it took was an off the cuff, unintentional comment from someone to make me realise. I stopped posting publically about my leg and just answered personal messages instead. I know I should not let something someone says affect me or stop me from adding a status, but I don’t want to become one of the Facebook people I myself try to avoid.

In the few times since, when I have had a lapse and posted an ‘oh poor me post’, I’ve caught myself on, slapped myself repeatedly about the face and then deleted the comment. If I really need to vent, then I have a blog for that! If I need to talk about how crap my life is, then I’ll start a new blog for that too.

So why do people do it? Why do they feel that they need to inform their followers of every bad turn they ever take in their lives. Boredom, sympathy, support, help? I have no idea, but there are very few people in the world living the lives they wished for, or hoped for, but they seem to get by just fine without having to publish it for all and sundry to see.

So, this leaves me with a conundrum, do I leave Facebook again, for like the 9 millionth time, or do I just stop reading. There are pros and cons for both.

I’d miss Udders and the fun we have, even though neither of us are feeling too funny right now. I’d miss Monkey and the pictures of her niece who is a cute as a button. I’d miss updates from friends and family overseas as they journey forth in their new lives. I’d miss all Lee’s hilarious and geeky little memes, that do actually make me laugh. I’d also miss my Indecisive Eejit page on which I share all Lee’s hilarious and geeky little memes. See told you I was lazy!

I won’t however miss:

Join us in Farmville! You’ve got ginger hair, you can be a carrot!
Join us in Farmville 2! It’s better than Farmville 1.
Join us in Farmville 3! We know where you live!
Join us in Far……..ah just feck off Farmville.
30 second updates over the course of an hour regarding the preparation of your dinner, which then turns into a chew by chew account of your consumption of it. Seriously, I’ve just stood for an hour cooking my own. I’m at my dinner limit, get over it!
Updates on how crap your life is. I know it sucks, honest I do, sometimes mine does as well, but telling us about it and hash tagging it with FML is not going to miraculously make it better.
Competitions, share and like, blah blah blah! It’s all a con, they just want more likes for their page, although I did succumb once and enter a competition for the most amazing chair on the planet! If I win it, I will retract this statement. Prove me wrong Facebook, go on, I dare ya!
Miscellaneous game requests! Do you see my name on it, do I have a high score? No? Then take the feckin hint, I don’t want to play it.
I could go on, but I can’t be bothered, I’ve worn myself out!

I think for the sake of my sanity it’s time to disappear again for a little while and just use my Indecisive Eejit page, which you can feel free to like, if unlike me you are still feeling the love for Facebook!

Ode to Candy Crush

candycrushsagalogoCandy Crush is doing my head in,
This is the worst it’s ever been,
The baffling combinations,
Are turning me 50 shades of green.

No matter how I use the sweets,
Be it stripe or be it wrap,
The bombs they come a tumbling
And turn my hopes and dreams to crap.

It’s messing with my blood pressure
In fact its messing with my life,
Absailing down Niagra Falls
Wouldn’t give me this much strife.

But I’ve now found the solution,
It will ease the mess I’m in,
Toffette has been abandoned
And my Nexus 7’s in the bin!!

Candy Crush – Sweet Search Terms II

Lots More Candy Crush Craziness!
Lots More Candy Crush Craziness!

I’m still laughing every day at the search terms that bring people to my blog with regards to Candy Crush. The whole world seriously has gone mad!

I have to be truthful and say that of late I have not been playing as much. This is for a couple of reasons:

  • Level 347 is a complete and utter bubbling pile of dung! (Wait, did I just experience a rush of  Candy Crush rage). Normally when you’re stuck or have been stuck on a level for a while you can at least see little flashes of hope. Not on this level, it’s a hope sucker extravaganza. It’s got so bad that I don’t even really want to try any more.
  • Since I started the whole blogging thing I’ve been adding witty, smart, entertaining and educating people to my Blogs I Follow list and they have been amusing me on my journeys to and from work! (Note to Blogs I Follow: Posting your pennings around 8am GMT would be just perfect for me, if you could thrown in a couple around 5.30pm too, better still! )

So here are some more Sweet Search Terms:

  • Candy Crush Rehab – You know I started out way back when thinking this was funny, but now I am starting to think there actually are a few (million) people out there who might indeed need to be collected by men in coloured, candy stripe clothing and taken for some counseling.
  • I have no photographs of my friends on Candy Crush – You’ll probably find that’s because no one will set it down long enough in order to take one.
  • Candy Crush Saga Subliminal Messages – See!! I’m not the only one who thinks this is a world wide conspiracy to fry our brains from the inside out. I don’t know about you lot, but I should be ok. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to fry fresh air!
  • Candy Crush Flu – I’m thinking the symptoms are more anxiety, self loathing related. You’re feeling anxious because you cannot get past a level and you’re full of self loathing because you cannot quite believe something as stupid as a game is making you feel anxious. It’s a vicious circle that is sending you subliminal messages at the same time. Step away!!
  • Why I feel depressed after playing Candy Crush – Because you’ve just realised you have wasted valuable minutes, hours and days of your life and you can’t quite understand why you suddenly have this strange desire to go to McDonald’s for a Bacon & Cheese Burger with extra Gherkins!
  • Telephone number to contact Candy Crush – 0800 H-E-L-P-M-E-P-L-E-A-S-E
  • Do you get aids playing Candy Crush – Even though there is bodily contact, heavy breathing and twiddling of knobs, I am pretty sure the answer is NO!
  • Can I connect Candy Crush to Facebook without anyone knowing – Shame on you! Face your addiction.
  • Why my mouse could not play Candy Crush – I’m not really sure why this was. Did you set the device the right way up in the cage and make sure it was not covered with sawdust? I’m at a bit of a loss, because clearly your mouse is more intelligent than you!
  • Can I play candy crush naked – Two things bother me about this. Why do you feel the need to ask, you complete and utter exhibitionist. If you want to let it all hang out, you work away! Secondly why did it lead you to my blog. I SWEAR I have never played Candy Crush naked, I would never subject poor little Tofette to something like that!

Candy Crush Catastrophe!

img004I’m beginning to think that Candy Crush is a bigger epidemic than bird flu!

The number of hits I have had has been staggering, the wording of search terms amusing.

I have had hits from all over the world all asking the same thing, Candy Crush quests, why am I addicted to Candy Crush, more lives, new sweets…..its never ending! I’m starting to worry for the world as a whole, that we are being sucked into a huge sweetie coated vortex!

What if they start to send out subliminal messages via the game. Unwittingly we will be cast under a blanket spell, at the mercy of the kings at Candy Crush Zombies will start to appear in multi coloured clothing, chomping their way through everything in sight,  excreting striped, wrapped and spotted candies.

People will re name their houses things like, Chocolate Barn, Caramel Cove and Gingerbread Glade.

Tofette will become the most popular girls name ever.

Seriously people, it’s a game! Admittedly it is a very amusing and addictive one, but it is a game none the less.

People have racked up huge bills buying lives, boarding tickets and other candy crunching accessories. If you have Facebook you DO NOT have to pay for anything, you just need to have patience. One of the charms on my app costs £27.99. I was so horrified I removed my details from Play just in case I would accidentally hit the button and purchase one, I certainly would never intentionally pay that amount of money, I couldn’t afford to pay that amount of money!

It’s also made us very antisocial. We don’t sit around and talk anymore. We tap, sigh, point and poke away the hours. I’ve known couples to converse via text or even worse via Facebook.

Am I a Candy Crush addict? I’d say no, but isn’t that what all addicts say. I like to play to pass time, but not to waste time. My removal of mysself from Facebook and subsquetly out of my CC family has not caused  me any anxiety or extra grey hairs. I play my 5 lives and am quite content to wait until they refresh. I do however refuse to pay to board the mode of transport required to take me to the next level, for that I may indeed have to swallow my pride and return to Facebook.

My point, I don’t want to be a Candy Crush Zombie, I can take it or leave it, can you say the same?

Farewell for now Facebook!

6637390653_08fd4611fb_nI deactivated Facebook today. I make it seem like it was such a hard thing to do. Really it wasn’t. I have no cold sweats.

With me it was a bit of a love / hate relationship. I have to hold my hand up and say I have been one of those people who when we’ve taken a funny picture has said, hurry up, get that posted. Some of our posts have been legendary, the kind of laughing that ends in tears, I have some extremely witty friends!

But on the other side I hate all the inane status posts. “I’m putting the dinner on”,  “Nom Nom my dinner was lovely”, “Doing the dishes”. I mean seriously come on, who cares.

Anyone who has read my blog previously will know I play Candy Crush. It gives me something to do on my long train journeys to and from work.That said I am very conscious about not forwarding requests to the non Candy Crushers on my list as I myself know how frustrating it can be to get literally thousands of requests for games you don’t play. BEWARE Bakebook buddies, if I come back  any more Farmville requests and it’ll be a mow down and not a hoedown!

It’s been about 10 hours since the big delete and I have to be honest and say I miss it, but not for the reasons you might think. I miss that I no longer have  pictures for my contacts in my phone and for the fact that I will either have to rejoin or pay for plane tickets in Candy Crush if I want to progress. I’ll miss it for keeping in touch with friends and family overseas, but there is always Skype.

I won’t miss all the little behind the scenes privacy changes that you didn’t find out about until after your details have been plastered all over the net. I won’t miss my location being tagged.  I won’t miss having to dodge people that I just don’t want to add because I know they will be offended by some of our unbelievable stupidity (we forget what age we are sometimes).

How long will I last? Who cares!

Image courtesy of Harco Rutgers

Candy Crush – Sweet Search Terms!

Candy Crush

I just love checking out the Search Engine Terms on my Stats Page. Some of them are hilarious, but none more so that the Candy Crush ones, so my sweet addicted pals, here is my take on your searches:

  • Candy Crush – Do you really have to wait 24 hours between quests? : No you don’t! You initially get 5 lives, you lose one every time you fail a level. You gain a new life every 30 minutes (on my app anyways), however if you are connected to Facebook you can hound your friends until they eventually send you one just to shut you up.
  • Candy Crush for Xbox? – Not out yet as far as I know. Not even sure if it ever will be. Please don’t release it on another platform or I’ll be a total lost cause!
  • Candy Crush 7 Windows Firewall Setting? – Say wha?! is there something I am missing here, can it be played somewhere else on a PC bar Facebook?
  • Candy Crush Mistakes – The biggest mistake of all is ever starting to play the damn game!
  • Candy Crushing Equipment – Usually your teeth are the best weapon, however your dentist is going to be none to happy! With regards to the game, I have noticed additional tools are not available on the Apps, however when the game is played via the PC you can get various Candy Crushing aids to help you on your quest, one, funnily enough being a set of teeth!
  • Candy Crush Depression – I’m suffering it at the minute for two reasons. The first is I am again stuck, level 323 this time, it’s a total nightmare. It makes me want to jump up and down, curse, scream and bounce my shiny Google Nexus against a wall. The second reason is, when I reach the end of this pathway there is a Spanner. I can go no further. No more Candy Crush. FFS. Well not until they build the next levels anyway.
  • I think Candy Crush may be taking over my life – If you’re worried enough to Google it then you are probably correct. But admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Welcome to the fold!
  • Tickets to Candy Crush – Ask your friends or buy them. Remember though buying things can be VERY costly. It might not seem like much at the time but it all adds up. I personally pester people on Bakebook.
  •  Addicted to candy crush saga, wanna learn how to make a candy crush cake – So am I! I don’t wanna learn how to make a cake though, sorry, but I’ll certainly help you eat that bad boy!
  • Goodbye Candy Crush. Before it’s to late. Uninstalled – This one has to be the winner! It’s so dramatic. Wonder how long they lasted.

Keep them coming, I love having a giggle at the things people search for which ultimately leads them to my Blog!

Picture Credit – Ian Hughes (click the picture for his link)