Tis the seas…oh feck off!


You may have noticed that I have not posted in, well I don’t know for how long, but it feels like forever.

I wouldn’t even know how to explain the last couple of weeks, it’s been a veritable rollercoaster of ups and downs. There have been tantrums, mini bathroom floods, periods of silence and very little breaks in between.

The run up to Christmas has started and the Mothership is already on my case about writing Christmas cards despite the fact that November has not yet ended. It’s enough to give anyone a headache.

I think I must be the worst Christmas present buyer ever, I can never think of fun and ingenious things to buy anymore, once upon a time such things would have come naturally, but now it just feels like additional stress, something I do not need.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could just programme everyone’s traits into a big machine which would then spit out the perfect gift ideas for friends and family. Even better still, what about a personal shopper!

Up until now we’ve been relatively lucky weather wise as well, its been quite mild, albeit a little windy at times, nothing to do with my arse or brussel sprouts I promise. This weekend there is the threat of snow, a piece of news that had me all a tizzy. It means the official season for the DM boots might be starting, something that is sorely going to displease Alien Leg, she’s already been pitching a fit.

But hey ho, life goes on, there’s nothing else for it.

My pre Christmas New Years resolution…to write more, wish me luck.

What about you, how’s things been?

I drank your Cappuccino!

If I was having coffee

I’ve seen the If we were having coffee posts going on for a while now, I had a look back, but I can’t find a recent one to link back to, so thank you to the person who’s idea this is. I’ve never before done one of these, but I have a few bits and bobs to share so figured that now was  as good a time as any, hide your cappuccino’s people, here I come!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that it is exactly three years ago today since I hurt my leg. It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed, most days it still feels like yesterday. While swapping things over on my mobile phone, I came across notes I had made on Evernote regarding my progress, how far my leg was bending, how physio was going and some pictures of Alien leg. At the time I thought I would never be the same, in some ways I was right, I’m not the same, I can’t do a lot of the things I used to and I have to live with pain, but I am walking and as normal as I will ever be. It goes to show that the things that knock you off your feet are just steps that need negotiated. Even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time, we get up and we get on, and we adapt to the new situation.

If we were having coffee I’d probably be on my second cup by now and half way through a caramel square, because that’s how I roll. I’d have my phone out and I’d be showing you the stats on my blog, completely amazed at the fact I have reached 900 followers. You’d probably tell me that clearly those people lead very boring lives if they find me interesting and I’d totally agree, but I’d tell you that I love them all, and they have made life more livable on more than one occasion.

You’d also notice and point out the fact that I had now moved on to a piece of cake and I’d tell you that’s because I am hungry. I had amazing plans to make some nice stewed steak with carrots and gravy but it didn’t quite work out. Being polite you’d ask me why and I would tell you that my crock pot was broken so I had to order a new one which arrived on Friday. I was quite excited and eagerly opened the box, which was rather large for a slow cooker, only to find a suitcase. I actually had to ask the Fathership if my eyes were deceiving me because I couldn’t quite believe it myself, but sadly they were not, it was most definitely a bright blue suitcase. W T absolute F! I can’t cook in that says I and gets straight on the phone. Needless to say it’s going back and I am going hungry!

Last but not least I’d tell you that I saw the RAF Red Arrows for the first time (that I can remember) in my life. Quite a sight. The Mothership may forget many things, but never the men in the red planes. Even though she hated us (the Fathership and I) because we took her out of her normal routine and could hardly see them, because they were quite small and hard to follow from where we were, when she saw the signature smoke trails she cried and waved. She was never going to let on she enjoyed it though or was happy we took her, she was way to pissed off for that. Sometimes you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t, so all you can do it try and hide from the aftermath!

It’s at this point I’d pay my bill and ask you same time next week?

Back to reality…

Back to Work

This is kinda how I feel about going back to work tomorrow, I am a little bit traumatised to say the least. Why oh why did I ever think I was going to like the idea of going back on a Friday….seriously….WTF was I thinking!

I was rather unproductive on my three days off, well apart from one where I went to visit some friends, that actually felt like the first slice of normality I have had in a long time and cheered me up me no end.

Today was a trip to the hospital with my Dad to visit an Opthalmic surgeon, who asked me if I wanted to look through his eye machine..oo er Mrs! I did take him up on his kind offer, however I couldn’t see much, but then neither could the Fathership, hence the reason for his visit. He’s got something that is both really hard to pronounce and spell, so I am not even going to try but here’s my easier explanation as I interpreted it:

  • The fathership has an alien being in his eye.
  • It was small, but now it is growing and spreading a little red blanket across the cornea.
  • Dr Who? (no he’s not called that, I just don’t know his name) is going to blast and scrape the beastie before burning it out by the roots.
  • Mass clean of eyeball and off you go.

I either fainted or tuned out, I am not sure, but that’s the general jist of the whole thing. Sorry if your squeamish but there was no way I was suffering this shit alone.

Being back in the hospital reminded me of the whole Alien Leg saga and the countless hours I wasted waiting for appointments. The system seems to be that you are alloted a time for your appointment, but there is a three hour buffer around it. I’m not complaining though, because the service today and back then was first class as always.

It’s funny looking back now though, as I said to the Fathership today, I am never going to forget the accident because I am reminded of it every time I take a step, however it’s no longer the major trauma that it once was. It seems like it happened in another lifetime, the reality is, it was only two years ago. Eventually you have to file it under ‘Feck it’ and carry on.

The Mothership has an appointment on Monday so I am expecting a turbulent weekend as the stress starts to build, but I can always live in hope.

I still have no C³ drawing done, but then neither has anyone else so I’m not feeling too guilty and I will attempt to get it done before Sunday. I’ve had a sneak peak of Mama’s on Bakebook though and it’s looking mighty fine, I can’t wait to see the finished product.

Well that’s about it, I am totally wrecked and need some sleep, I have to be up early to sellotape the sides of my mouth up into a smile for the start of the working day!

Goodnight eejits :)

Alien Leg – Part 6 – The Last Stand

Image by Stuart Caie
Happy Birthday Alien Leg!

Dear Alien Leg

Happy birthday! You are one year old today!

This is going to be the last post I write about you, I’ve decided that you are what you are and I am just going to have to live with it. Things could have been a whole lot worse. 

We’ve had a rough year you and I.

I found that being with you through your recovery left me feeling a little depressed, I’m still trying to shake it. It’s hard to go from being fit and healthy to bolloxed in the space of 30 seconds. Harder still to be housebound for 6 months when you’re used to working two jobs. 

I’m reminded of your existence every day. I’m always in some degree of pain or discomfort, always wary and now even your twin has started acting up because she is fed up taking all the strain. To think she was always the problematic one when we were younger, you not so. Now look at you ffs! 

Your cousins, the Hip sisters are not so happy either. They say you two are not pulling your weight and passing a lot of the work to them. I’m just praying you all figure it out, so that someday soon we can all work together as a team. 

We met some interesting people on our journey though didn’t we. We’ll not forget the help they gave us because we couldn’t have managed without them. 

Looking back  9 – 10 months, I didn’t think I would be able to do what I am now. I know there are still a lot of things we can’t do and there are some things we’ll never be able to do again, but that’s just the way it is and I’m trying to find a way to accept that. It’s proving a little harder than I thought though. 

Usually in letters there is a bit about how you wouldn’t change anything etc, but I can’t say that, because if I could go back 12 months and never have met you in the first place, of course I would. No offence intended of course!

Even though they have said you might never get better, I still think, and hope there is room for improvement. They say though that we are certain to get a visit from Uncle Arthritis and that Cousin Cartilage might have us in hospital again in the years to come. We’ll just have to cross all those bridges when we come to them. 

I’ve left you a present on the dressing table. Cod liver oil capsules with a hint of Glucosamine. I know they aren’t very pleasant, but they are meant to help, so lets give it a shot. 

I’ll try and remember to get in touch in about 6 months time to see how things are going. In the meantime I hope you continue to improve and try and have a word with your twin and tell her to give me a fecking break.

Be good and stop giving me so much pain if you can, I’d appreciate it!

Much Love

Juls x 

(Image by: Stuart Caie – Click picture for more info)