Category: Life in General!

Fat Fingers!

The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

Unbeknown to McDogs he sort of unwittingly issued me with a challenge yesterday with regards to the Google Nexus and his post about the WordPress App.

There is no doubt the App for Android is far superior to the one for Windows Phone. Don’t judge me, my Nokia Lumia links with ease to my Xbox and I’m a gamer of sorts so get over it! It also has excellent signal strength and as I live in the sticks this is essential.

It is unbelievably easy to post from the Nexus, a sleek interface means that most functions are available. Until now I have used the Bluetooth keyboard I purchased to type posts and blog from the train, however after reading Lee’s post yesterday I was amazed that he found it easy to use the on screen keyboard to type a legible post!

So this morning I have shunned the keyboard and I am using finger power alone, I am failing miserably.

I find it awkward to type. I seem to skip right past some keys meaning broken words, spelling mistakes and frantic use of the back button.

I could certainly type a post this way but it would take me much longer than normal and I doubt you would be able to understand it. It would not be my first choice!

I really must have fat fingers!!

Geeky and Freaky – 1 versus The Geeky G4mer – 0

PS. Time to Sping Clean

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6789942482_c9817d7d95I really need to Spring Clean!

I’ve been saying it for almost a year now, especially with being off with alien leg, I had the perfect opportunity, but as usual I never got around to it.

I have a whole cupboard that has no available space at all due to the fact that it is crammed with stuff I meant to put on Ebay. Some of it has been there so long I’d probably be better trying Antiques Roadshow.

I’ve also decided that it’s time to get rid of my old PS1, PS2 and PS3 games. I have to face the fact that I am not going to play them anymore. I had always entertained the vain hope of buying a second hand PS2 and rekindling my love, but the truth is I just don’t have the time. It’s better to pass them on to someone who will get enjoyment from them.

It’s definitely an odd little collection of games. Most of them I have not even played. I guess my most prized possessions of them all have to be Shadow Hearts and ICO. 256px-Ico_cover_-_EU+JP

I searched long and hard for them both as by the time I had been made aware of their existence they were both already rare. ICO I pretty much gave up on completely, the £60 used price was a little over budget even for an enthusiast. One day in a game shop I asked if by chance they had any used copies and was informed by the sales clerk the game was to be re released. This was in 2006. ICO was the first game to actually take my breath away graphically, it was love at first sight.

Shadow Hearts proved a lot more difficult, it also had a hefty second hand price tag that I could not justify. It took a lot of auction watching, bidding and middle of the night auctions before I was actually lucky enough to pick up a copy. Then as luck would have it I ended up with two almost at the same time.  51W60BYZSBL

Other games I have loved and collected include the original Bubble Bobble ft Rainbow Islands for the PS1, I lost count of the number of hours that kept us entertained until we finally reached the end.

Pandemonium was another one, a quirky and colourful platformer.

The list goes on……

It’s sad to have to get rid of them, but times move on. There is no point in them sitting here gathering dust while someone else could be playing them.

It’s kinda like saying goodbye to little members of your family though, they have kept me company and entertained for such a long time!

Crushing the Candy Addiction!

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823492_10151473525769758_1375313889_oI’ve been staring at the screen for 15 minutes now. I even secured myself a table on the train. A window seat no less, with a view of the water.

The problem is, I can think of nothing to write. Instead of lots of smart and humorous ideas bouncing around in  the empty space between my ears, I’m thinking how long will it take the spuds (potatoes) to boil and how  can I stop myself from eating the contents of the fridge while they do.

I decided I was going to start a diet today. Actually I hate that word, let me try that again. I decided I was going to try and stop eating junk today,and now it’s all I can think about.

I’m utterly depressed at the thought of a world without crisps, or potato chips as Shady calls them. I could almost cry at the thought of never screwing upfried eggs my face while chomping on a Refresher bar, or Oooing and aaahing over a Drumstick.

Don’t even get me started on the Wine Gummies, Foam Mushrooms, the new Squashies range and the entire Fun Gums range, which has the teeth and toothbrushes and my absolute favourite, FRIED EGGS!!

Swizzels Matlow, you have a lot to answer for, you have ruined me for other confectionery!!

Chocolate I can take or leave, but I am helpless when it comes to jellies and chews! I am like the veritable kid in a sweetie shop. After 30 mins I am the kid who has had wayyy to many E numbers, hyper hyper! I can easily spend a half hour in the sweet aisle, drooling shamelessly.

But I need to stop! To exercise willpower!I need to get  grip on my sweetie addiction before I no longer have a tooth in my head and Alien Leg and her sister buckle underneath my weight!

I will limit myself to only having sweets at the weekend. A treat on a Friday night….I mean after a long hard week it’s no less than I deserve. I just hope that shop still has the offer on the party buckets!! ;)

drumstick

(Click the link at the top of the page to visit the Swizzels Matlow Website and discover all the dreamy deliciousness for yourself!)

Bring Me Sunshine!

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Isn’t a touch of sunshine lovely. It’s been such a bad winter it seemed like we would never see it again.

Normally I’m a rainy type of girl myself. I love the shorter days and being warm and snug inside while the rain and wind batters the windows. But today the sunshine has even brought out the best in me.

Due to my injury last July I missed most of the summer, it was spent fretting over leg related issues. It passed in the blink of an eye and before I knew it Winter was upon us. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t miss a whole summer of not having to mow the lawn, nope, no complaints there.

But sunshine definitely makes you feel more energised. It gives you a boost, not unlike a good kick up the hole to be honest. People break out their shorts and t shirts, eager to make the most of them on what could potentially be the only day of sunshine, you can just never tell.

I love the smell of fresh cut grass, laundered sheets blowing in the wind and bar be Que’s. I’m not sure I appreciated them before my lost summer.

That said give me a couple of weeks. Sunshine also brings the dreaded heat rash and the mild hay fever I didn’t have until my  middle 30’s. Yay for getting older.

It’s to rain again tomorrow so all I can say is, lets make the most of today.

Planes, Trains and Bloomin Computers!!

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In order to get to work I’ve decided I am going to make myself a pair of wings or a little plane and learn to fly! It should be easy enough if I can fashion the right equipment because I am pretty good at getting myself in a flap!
 
No guard at the station this morning again, and one monthly ticket required so I once again had to alight at a manned station to purchase same. Due to the price rise I knew it was going to be a little more expensive than last month, but I have to say I still buckled slightly at the knees when she said £150. To be fair even she looked sheepish, so much so that I felt the need to console her, “It’s all right, I checked this morning before I came out, so I knew how bad it would be” was what I said. “At least Dick Turpin wore a mask” was what I thought.
 
I went and bought myself a coffee and proceeded to play Candy Crush for the 30 minutes while I waited for the next train to arrive.
 
Where do computers come in I hear you ask. Well if you cannot already tell, I am a little on edge this morning. That would be due to lack of sleep, which in turn has to do with my computer.
 
Computers are a marvellous invention, of that there is no doubt. When they work they are nothing short of fantastic. When they don’t they make you want to bang your head repeatedly off a wall.
 
Yesterday I made the fantastically ill informed decision to format mine. For months it’s been skipping music and generally getting slower. After about an hour of use the mouse starts to act like it’s swallowed a 2 week supply of Diazepam all in one go. It’s there, but in body only. Apparently my hard drives are healthy and so is my ram but still it persists to get on like a goat!
 
At 1pm, after everything was backed up I proceeded to Alt and F10 while booting up the PC. Nothing. Three more attempts, still nothing. Ok plan B says the very knowledgeable Paul, your boot sector is obviously corrupted, F12 and use your back up discs.  Righty ho, F12, first disc in and away we go. This is not as bad as I thought, I’m thinking to myself and 45 minutes later it says it’s been successful. Yipee, get everything reinstalled and lets blog. Then it starts to update, update some more and sure enough there’s another couple of updates on the side for good measure.
 
Fast forward 1 hour and 30 minutes, time to reinstall my Anti Virus. I’d been on the net, checked it was networked etc and all was fine. After copious amounts of pressing next and agreeing to various terms and conditions Internet Security was finally installed, just the last little bit, fill out the online registration and we’re good to go.
 
NO INTERNET, LOCAL ACCESS ONLY!! WTF!! Eh, what’s going on here, I had internet 5 minutes ago. I then tried to open up the security program to tweak some settings in case it was the firewall that was being a funny bugger, but like my mouse it was there in body only. Each click brought me back to the registration screen, only I couldn’t register cos yep, you guessed it, I have no fecking internet. I then tried to uninstall the program and the whole thing locked up.
 
In a panic I rang Paul, giving off bucket loads and he says you’d be better to start again. I swore an awful lot, like an awful, awful lot but deferred to his superior knowledge and trotted off to reinstall. That was at approximately 5.15pm.
 
At 7.30pm it was busy installing update 17 of 120. At 10.30pm we had progressed to 50 of 120. Eventually at 12.30am it was done.
 
Retry internet security. Same thing. No Internet, local access only. I didn’t get angry, I didn’t get mildly annoyed. I didn’t even swear. I simply went to bed because I was thoroughly pissed off.
 
I’m going to tackle it again when I get home and if it doesn’t play ball I am going to kick it up and down the lane, well as much as my good leg will allow anyway.

Freshly Pressed, Freshly Stressed but I am Impressed!

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I am in awe, total awe, of a lot of the posts I read on Freshly Pressed, so despite how it might first appear when you read the post title I am indeed glad it exists.

By far the best post I have read so far was Nickle Lauritzen and the Afterlife on One Boy’s Way of Knowing, it actually brought tears to my eyes. I made Paul read it too and all he could say was “Wow”. Other people will be able to tell you in big fancy words how fantastic it was, I wish I could, but that is just not me. I can simply tell you from the heart it was wonderful and urge you to read it. I am certainly grateful to Freshly Pressed because it allowed me to find and read it.

So I’m in awe! Everyday I read things that make me laugh, make me sad, make me think, make me confused, make me ask questions and last but not least make me jealous.

I want to be able to write like that. I want to be able to make people feel all the different emotions I do and leave it so they want to come back and see if I can do it all again. Sadly I can’t, and I am just going to have to put up with that fact, but secretly it bothers me. I always joke that I want  NGE on my gravestone, which stands for Not Good Enough. I’m not putting myself down when I say that, despite what you might think. What I mean is, I am great at lots of different little bits and pieces of things but I don’t excel at anything.

So I started a blog which guess what, yep it’s all little different bits and pieces, just like the cluttered workings of my brain.

I did have a debate with myself about this, and also about the blog title, because not everything will be about gaming, but I decided I like the name, it sums me up and I can write whatever weird and wonderful stuff I want on here. It’s not going to appeal to everyone, it may not even appeal to anyone but it’s a good way to store my memories, a veritable patchwork quilt of my madness.

So I shall let the content of Freshly Pressed stress me no more, I don’t have to be brilliant like the amazing people featured there. For all the thousands of brilliant writers out there,  are hundreds like me who are happy to be the blanket behind the stars!

The Joys of Modern Travel Part 5!

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The powers that be in NIR have obviously stumbled upon and read my previous Joys of Modern Travel 1 & 2, because they mention the price of tickets.

I had a relatively lovely week of travel, all on time, a seat everyday, nothing to complain about…..yes I know, for you it’s boring…for me it was just all lovely, rainbows, singing bluebirds the whole heap until I heard on the news one day that the price of tickets is rising 5%!!! I’m telling you, it was all I could do not to cry! and I mean cry as in tears cry, not cry out in anger.

I’m not stupid, I know the cost of everything rises, and they are saying this rise is not even in line with inflation and I also appreciate this is the first rise on some ticket types for a long time, but when everyone is already finding it hard to make ends meet is it a good idea and just when you are starting to encourage people to use your service are you not kind of shooting yourself in the foot?

They say you are better using their cheaper options, weekly, monthly’s etc. Of course a season ticket is the best option, but who in this day and age has a spare £1500 lying around to shell out all at once. There is also still the option of a third off a day return on tickets after 9.30 in the morning, but that does not suit if you are going to work!

It’s now going to cost me £1800 a year to travel, and for that I cannot even catch a direct train, I have to change on every single one. I can’t remember the last time I had a pay rise.

Customer satisfaction remains high as customers appreciate the many improvements we have made to our fleet, technology, ticketing together with innovative promotions and we look forward to  seeing more people try the bus and train over the coming weeks and months

This is true, I’d be a liar if I said I did not love the new trains and the fact that they do not break down. I also love the free WIFI service, but I’m wondering now is it really free, or is that where the bulk of my 5% is going. I’ve not seen any innovative promotions that are aimed at regular working people. How about offering a 6 month season ticket, or buy 3 months get one half price, I’ve love you long time if you would do that!

Sometimes I also wish they would consider other ticketing options. My monthly on the train runs from one date to another, i.e. if I bought it today it would run out on the 28th May, problem is I only very rarely use trains on the weekend, and I don’t always travel everyday of the week either as sometimes I am lucky enough to get a lift, so I’d prefer a ticket like they have on the buses, a 40 journey one, which I could probably make last an extra week or so.

Sad thing is there is no choice, we just have to manage and pay it somehow if we want to travel to work!

Spam!

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Until I dipped a toe into the lake of Information Technology, I thought Spam was something you put between two slices of bread!

“Spam (shortened from spiced ham) is a canned precooked meat product“

When I set up my first e-mail address, and then my first blog I realised there was a whole new type of spam I had never even heard of, processed meat had an evil twin!

“Spam is the use of electronic messaging systems to send unsolicited bulk messages, especially advertising, indiscriminately”

Currently in my junk mail folder I have 6 emails which are as follows:

  • 80% off Viagra – Hmm not going to be much good to me unless I want a stiff neck! Tablets get stuck in my throat a lot, I blame hayfever!
  • Are you getting these???? –  this is some chick who keeps asking me am I getting her e-mails because she wants to give me free passes to her porn show – No luv I’m not, you’re at the bottom of the dung pile, and as lovely as I am sure you are you’re just not my type, as in you are not male!
  • Herbs for Weight loss –  They saying I’m a little rounder than I should be?
  • Outrageously Cheap Wine – I actually might need some. I’m a little traumatised by the previous e-mail calling me a fat fecker.
  • Top sale in Viagra – Perhaps I should start a little import / export here, I never was able to pass up on a bargain! And if I have two e-mails about it, it must be good stuff.
  • Free Lifetime Pass to Sex Whenever you want – To sex whom? Is it kind of like a Get Out of Jail Free card as in you produce it when you need to? I’m pretty sure I would get arrested if I walked up to some random bloke on the street and said here mate I have a Free Lifetime Pass to Sex whenever I want and I want to Sex with you and proceed  to drag him back to my lair.

Receiving spam is kind of annoying, but funny. I’ve been offered some strange shit in the 15 odd years I have been online, and it’s given me a laugh or two.

Now it’s happening here as well. I was all excited today thinking, hey someone liked something, because I had so many comments. Then I noticed the red spam beside it, ffs!

I had an interesting argument with myself for about 5 minutes with regards to the merits of ignoring the spam and putting the comments on anyway…..my reasoning was,  any comment is better than no comment. I mean if you peek through your fingers you can almost block out the promises of penis enlargement, unless of course you feel you may benefit from them in which case click away to your hearts content!

Good sense prevailed and after I had thoroughly read each and every one in the vain hopes of finding something sensible I sent them all to the trash can. I’d rather have comments because  someone found something interesting, funny or had something to say rather than because I am a blue pill popping, fat, sex addicted alcoholic.

The End!

Somedays you just know!

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I should have known my day was not going to go according to plan. Usually how it starts is how it’s defined!

I stepped on the scales this morning! Big mistake. No matter were you hope the marker will stop on the scales it always seems to go that little bit further. You step off and remove any article you think is contributing to the weight gain and step back on and the dam needle still rises to where you do not want it to be. Short of performing colonic irrigation on myself and hammering out the fillings in my teeth I was just not going to get the answer I wanted. So off I walked swearing to myself that I would have to cut down while throwing a packet of crisps into my bag to have with my sandwiches at lunch time. Scales – 1, Willpower – 0.

Fast forward a few hours and I’m trying to set up Microsoft Outlook onto my friends laptop for her. So here’s the thing, you buy Microsoft Office which as we all know is not exactly cheap, but you then have the ability to create power points, spreadsheets, write reports,  and e-mail, along with a few other bits and pieces. You then further support Microsoft by using Outlook.com, the new name for Hotmail, but if you want to set up Outlook the office version to check for your Outlook.com mail you’re pretty much screwed. After about a half hour of trying, stress levels rising I hit Google to do a little research and found out I had to install a plug-in. Found that and installed it and went through the process of setting up the mail, and fair enough it worked but it almost creates a second little inbox. I mean come on, why can it not just be a matter of putting in your settings and seeing everything in the main area.

Perhaps in later versions of Office they addressed this problem, however after having paid for the program once I personally would be reluctant to shell out for a later version as I am sure would my friend.

The next piece of equipment to almost get booted around the yard was an Epson printer. There are many arguments for and against using compatible cartridges as opposed to the real thing so you can imagine my displeasure when after shelling out for originals the printer decides it wants to reject them. Feck, arse and bollocks said I, repeatedly. What started out as a simple head cleaning exercise almost made mine explode!

Maintenance > Nozzle Check > You need to clean the heads > head clean…..waiting……waiting…..waiting some more…..unable to recognise cartridge(s) – Black. You have got to be fecking kidding me!

So I changed the black, and then it told me it could not recognise either the black or the yellow. It was around about this time that Paul decided to phone me, I bet he now wished he hadn’t as I went into a full on tirade about Outlook and printers, I’m sure you can imagine how it went. In the end when he had stopped laughing he calmly told me to replace the yellow and all would be right with the world, and it was. Dam the man for always being right. The point is though my yellow was not empty so I had to waste half a cartridge to get the bloody thing to work. Sort your shit out Epson or it’s compatibles from now on for me!

I’ve just been told there is no chicken for my tea, ffs, I’ve been looking forward to chicken korma all day.

The point of this story is that I have completely fallen out with myself now and I am away to sit in a dark cupboard and have a serious think about where my life is going, that said after my foray onto the scales this morning knowing my luck I’ll get feckin stuck!!

The Joys of Modern Travel Part 4!!

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There seems to be a bit of a theme developing here, however I am aware that at some stage I am going to have to change the record and move on! Not tonight though, there are a few words still to be spoken.

Mini Rant Number 1

Anyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I have recently undergone knee surgery. Actually anyone who doesn’t know me would probably also be able to guess that there is something not quite right with me, but for the most part now I am back on my feet and walking, I look relatively normal. I no longer have to avail of the use of a crutch or walking aid. Good news you say, and yes considering the state I was in 7 months ago it certainly is.

However is it not so good when trying to travel by train.

The other morning, the the trauma of having to walk from the car park to the train platform had really taken it’s toll! Ok, slight exaggeration, my leg was a little sore so I needed to sit down..happy now! So I’m the first person on the platform, but pretty soon others start to filter out.

So over the speaker comes the announcement about the next train leaving Platform 1, blah, blah, blah. I gather myself together, make sure I have all my belongings and step forward on the platform. After almost 20 years travelling back and forth I am a pretty good judge of where the train usually stops, for the carriage I want anyway and sure enough it slows down. Now on these new fangled trains opening the door is almost a two person operation. The doors are so wide that the button to open them is a fair bit to the left of the door. A kind gentlemen who is a little closer to the left hand side than I, steps over to hit the button and my bad leg and I step forward to grab the rail and hoist ourselves onto the train. Then out of nowhere comes this…well I was going to call her a young lady…but…this young lass just barges in between us both and onto the train, actually pushing us out of the way slightly. I’m not a violent person in any shape form or fashion, but right at that moment I had a clear vision in my minds eye of me pulling her by the pony tail and hauling her ass back off the train.

It happens at other times too. The train pulls into the station and the people from the platform are trying to barge their way past the throng trying to come off. Now I’m no rocket scientist but would it not make sense to let it empty a little before you try to embark, increasing your chance of finding a seat ffs! In fact would it not be a common courtesy to just wait until the others disembark!

Mini Rant Number 2

Which leads me nicely into my second foray into rantdom! Seats.  Some days there are just not enough of them.

Now that is not exactly the rail company’s fault. I mean unless you have physic powers how would you ever be able to know how many people are going to travel. Ok sure, look at peak times and try and address those issues! But for the most part you can always get a seat somewhere.

Unless of course someone has placed their bag, coat, mobile phone, briefcase, hat, scarf and kitchen sink on the spare seat beside them. I mean, hellllooooooo did you pay for that extra seat?? Cos see if you didn’t, get yer shit picked up and make way for the irate woman with the bad leg who wants to sit down!! And you can stop giving me that pinched face look too, you only bought a ticket not the whole dam train!

Mini Rant Number 3

And last but not least, access onto the platform itself!

As a result of said knee surgery I am at present unable to descend stairs. I can climb up them, albeit with a lot of effing, blinding, grunts and groans but for some reason going down eludes me.

The station I depart from at home time is underneath a bridge…sort of. Being unable to do the stairs I have to walk about 50 yards further and head down a ramp which I am guessing they class as a wheelchair ramp. My advice,  if you’re in a wheelchair avoid it at all costs, that fecker is steep. You lose grip or your brakes fail and you’re on a one way ticket to tracksville! Anyone hanging onto the back of you is going to fly like a kite! Go another 50 yards further on and down through the car park, it will be a much more pleasant journey, I promise! That’s what I now do.

I never realised until I hit that hill how much of a toll surgery had taken on my muscles. I was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place, finding it really difficult to hold myself back and scared witless I was going to topple forward. I eventually made it down but I was practically doubled over hanging off the hand rail. People had joked with me when I went back to work about me carrying walking poles and I had laughed and said I’ve just got rid of crutches, but I could have done with them that day! Obviously as the days go by and the more I walk the strength returns and I shall soon use the hill as exercise, but I will proceed with caution and take a parachute!

I’ve lust let Paul proof read this post and his response was that I am going to get known as a train hater. To which I replied, I’m not a train hater though, I love the train, it’s just paying for it and some of the other passengers are the problem :)