Spam!

Until I dipped a toe into the lake of Information Technology, I thought Spam was something you put between two slices of bread!

Spam (shortened from spiced ham) is a canned precooked meat product

When I set up my first e-mail address, and then my first blog I realised there was a whole new type of spam I had never even heard of, processed meat had an evil twin!

“Spam is the use of electronic messaging systems to send unsolicited bulk messages, especially advertising, indiscriminately”

Currently in my junk mail folder I have 6 emails which are as follows:

  • 80% off Viagra – Hmm not going to be much good to me unless I want a stiff neck! Tablets get stuck in my throat a lot, I blame hayfever!
  • Are you getting these???? –  this is some chick who keeps asking me am I getting her e-mails because she wants to give me free passes to her porn show – No luv I’m not, you’re at the bottom of the dung pile, and as lovely as I am sure you are you’re just not my type, as in you are not male!
  • Herbs for Weight loss –  They saying I’m a little rounder than I should be?
  • Outrageously Cheap Wine – I actually might need some. I’m a little traumatised by the previous e-mail calling me a fat fecker.
  • Top sale in Viagra – Perhaps I should start a little import / export here, I never was able to pass up on a bargain! And if I have two e-mails about it, it must be good stuff.
  • Free Lifetime Pass to Sex Whenever you want – To sex whom? Is it kind of like a Get Out of Jail Free card as in you produce it when you need to? I’m pretty sure I would get arrested if I walked up to some random bloke on the street and said here mate I have a Free Lifetime Pass to Sex whenever I want and I want to Sex with you and proceed  to drag him back to my lair.

Receiving spam is kind of annoying, but funny. I’ve been offered some strange shit in the 15 odd years I have been online, and it’s given me a laugh or two.

Now it’s happening here as well. I was all excited today thinking, hey someone liked something, because I had so many comments. Then I noticed the red spam beside it, ffs!

I had an interesting argument with myself for about 5 minutes with regards to the merits of ignoring the spam and putting the comments on anyway…..my reasoning was,  any comment is better than no comment. I mean if you peek through your fingers you can almost block out the promises of penis enlargement, unless of course you feel you may benefit from them in which case click away to your hearts content!

Good sense prevailed and after I had thoroughly read each and every one in the vain hopes of finding something sensible I sent them all to the trash can. I’d rather have comments because  someone found something interesting, funny or had something to say rather than because I am a blue pill popping, fat, sex addicted alcoholic.

The End!

2 thoughts on “Spam!

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