Looking back

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When I think about my time here, now going on for nine years, I can see that I have changed so much over that time. There’s been a lot, recovery from the alien leg incident, the Motherships dementia and her eventual passing and also all of the things relating to my own mental health.

The past couple of years have brought a new set of challenges, illness, COVID and changes to and the loss of some friendships. That’s one thing about life, it never stops and it is always changing, whether we are prepared for it or not. I turned 50, just a number I know, but still a significant one in terms of life, because while things have not always been a bed of roses, existing for half a century is certainly something to celebrate right? In my head I still feel like I am 18 years old and I get a little bit nervous when I am expected to adult, but somehow I manage to bumble my way through it.

Even though I am not here often, I love this place. It has always been a bit of a refuge for me, reading what my friends have to say on their blogs and also what they choose to comment on mine. We never really understand how our words might affect others, but there is no better feeling when someone stops by to tell you, as recently happened to me. Those words were something I needed to hear at that time, so thank you Joe for commenting on my about page, it means more than you know.

I tell myself I should write more, I know I should, but sometimes it feels like I just write the same things over and over. Occasionally I will read things that I have already written and I think, holy cow, did I write that. Other times I can remember exactly how I was feeling at that time, the moment, the place and perhaps even the music I listened to as I tried to formulate my thoughts into something legible.

I was never big on the whole social media side of things, that’s just not me, and as life changed I didn’t have the same time to put into it as I had at the start. That said, in the beginning I had no idea how much time writing a blog and trying to further it would take, that was certainly a wake up call.

I have met some of the most amazing people and there are also others who are no longer with us. People who made us think, or made us smile and undoubtedly left an empty space in either our heads or our hearts.

This is a fantastic community and there are no set rules as to what your place in it should be. Don’t try to be someone else, because the weight of walking in someone else’s footprints will be a heavy one. Just be you, be true to yourself and write what your heart desires, it will always resonate with someone, even if they do not stop by to tell you it did.

Thank you for still being here with me, despite the fact that I am not with you as often as I would like :)

16 thoughts on “Looking back

  1. Hi Jules, lovely to see you again. think of 50 as half a hundred.
    I like your admission that in your head you still think you’re 18. My head tells me that too but my body is in serious conflict with my brain.
    Stay well, this covid thing is dragging on down here, we have been in lockdown for several weeks with little chance of things changing in the next month.

    Like

    • Hey Michael, good to see you. Yes the old COVID thing sure does rumble on, that said, for me, I like the new norm, it suits my introvertedness.

      Yes my body feels about as far from 18 as possible. Weird thing is, with the weight loss that came with being sick I am probably looking better in that way on the outside than I ever have, but the inside is screaming lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is a curious thing what people comment on – as far as posts go. I have found over the years, they are more likely to common on really “safe” posts, such as photos of puppies, and gardens, and less likely to comment on more controversial posts. Someone should do a study!

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    • I agree totally, although I have always been lucky with regular visitors commenting on my posts I do find that new visitors are more prone to do as you suggest. It would have to be someone much smarter than me who does the survey, I am after all an eejit :) lol

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I enjoyed reading this very much and Happy Birthday.
    You are doing better than I am with your writing, I haven’t been able to get the words out in almost two years. Like you, I enjoy coming here and reading the wonderful things others post.
    Have a wonderful day.

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    • I would still love to write more, I think about it all the time, I just never do it. My life is not so exciting that I have lots to share.

      Thanks for stopping by, I hope all is good with you and I look forward to some of your words soon hopefully :)

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      • It’s been two years since I was able to write anything until last week. My younger sister, Pat, died 9/3 so very unexpectedly and I was scheduled for surgery 9/7.
        I had my surgery as scheduled because Pat would have been upset with me if I postponed.
        After surgery,the words came to me and I was able to write and speak at her memorial service.
        What I’ve learned from your writings is that no matter what the challenges may be each day you give it your best and keep going.
        Thank you and be well.

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      • It’s funny what unlocks the words, and I find that sometimes they come easier when it is not something easy that needs to be written about. That must have been a very difficult time for you and I am sorry for your loss. Huge hugs for you.

        I once read a quote and I perhaps even posted it, perhaps on this blog or another one I used to write on which said something along the lines of write what scares you, I wish I could remember it all because at the time I thought it was really good.

        I know for sure I am my own worst enemy because I cannot get past the what will people think when they read this situation, but I also know that for figuring things out writing is the best thing for me, so it’s a bit of a catch 22 I guess. One day I hope to be able to write without fear.

        Liked by 1 person

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