Remember Me!

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I sort of feel like I need to provide an explanation with regards to my absence, when in reality I probably don’t. Even I was caught a little off guard this time when WordPress informed me it had been 23 days since my last post. I’d love to tell you I have been having a whale of a time, but why sugar coat it, things have been pretty shit to be honest, there is just no any other way to say it.

This whole Dementia thing is proving really stressful. We’ve had the worst month ever due to tantrums, constant crying, hospital visits, in fact you name it and we’ve probably dealt with it.

It’s becoming apparent that 9 out of 10 times I am the only person on the Motherships radar meaning she will essentially ignore everyone else and come to me for assistance. It’s like having a shadow and it’s exhausting. She leaves me with virtually no free time at all until I eventually put her to bed. I wanted to write last night but I was so tired I was unable to string a sentence together.

So that’s where I have been, every night I come home from work and step into the cocoon of caring that is so intense it almost makes you forget there is a world outside. Returning to work on a Monday after a weekend spent here feels like I’ve been away for a month, not two days and I am less than rested. As much as I dread work sometimes, I am glad of the escape.

Things are happening though, there is talk of Carers coming in to assist and a mild tablet that will hopefully bring calm, but we are doubtful it will make any difference and we certainly cannot tell the Mothership for fear of a reaction of explosive proportions. We will just have to wait and see. My Sister has been down every weekend which has been great and taken the pressure off.

But still, I am living on my nerves, and they are frazzled!

Apart from that there is nothing, not a fecking thing can I tell you that will in anyway entertain or amuse you. I just wanted to update you.

I read when I can and comment when I can, but less than perfect WiFi on my train journeys is a bit of a hindrance. Just know I am still alive and well and usually around somewhere :)

44 thoughts on “Remember Me!

  1. Bless you. It’s really tough I know. Hubby Dearest gran had dementia and bipolar and most of the time when she was going through bad phases it was only hubby or me who she would talk to. She wouldn’t open the door to the rest of the family…

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  2. you already know, but reminders are always good to hear; no matter how long life keeps you away, your friends will be at the ready.

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  3. We’re always happy just to hear from you, Juls! I’m so encouraged that there may be help on the horizon……even a small bit of help would go a long way, I’m sure! Fingers crossed for you and sending hugs your way as always!

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  4. Take care of you Juls. It’s a rough road you are on, accept all the help you can get and that includes drugs, after all it’s important you maintain some functionality simply for your own sanity which I can see is being well and truly tested.

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  5. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you to be on high alert every moment of what is ‘down time’ for most of us. That you keep us updated about how life is for you is humbling and I love that you feel this is a place of trust. Love and hugs for you and the family :) Linda

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  6. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My mother is suffering from dementia that’s getting worse by the day as well, but luckily she has enough money to afford a retirement home. I couldn’t handle her and the kids as well on my own. Still, I know how hard it is just from her visits. Hang in there! And try your best to get some rest, even if it means taking a hotel room for a weekend and leaving the responsibility to someone else. As I keep telling myself, you’re no good to anyone if you wind up in the hospital yourself.
    *hugs*

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