Candy Crush Catastrophe!

img004I’m beginning to think that Candy Crush is a bigger epidemic than bird flu!

The number of hits I have had has been staggering, the wording of search terms amusing.

I have had hits from all over the world all asking the same thing, Candy Crush quests, why am I addicted to Candy Crush, more lives, new sweets…..its never ending! I’m starting to worry for the world as a whole, that we are being sucked into a huge sweetie coated vortex!

What if they start to send out subliminal messages via the game. Unwittingly we will be cast under a blanket spell, at the mercy of the kings at King.com. Candy Crush Zombies will start to appear in multi coloured clothing, chomping their way through everything in sight,  excreting striped, wrapped and spotted candies.

People will re name their houses things like, Chocolate Barn, Caramel Cove and Gingerbread Glade.

Tofette will become the most popular girls name ever.

Seriously people, it’s a game! Admittedly it is a very amusing and addictive one, but it is a game none the less.

People have racked up huge bills buying lives, boarding tickets and other candy crunching accessories. If you have Facebook you DO NOT have to pay for anything, you just need to have patience. One of the charms on my app costs £27.99. I was so horrified I removed my details from Play just in case I would accidentally hit the button and purchase one, I certainly would never intentionally pay that amount of money, I couldn’t afford to pay that amount of money!

It’s also made us very antisocial. We don’t sit around and talk anymore. We tap, sigh, point and poke away the hours. I’ve known couples to converse via text or even worse via Facebook.

Am I a Candy Crush addict? I’d say no, but isn’t that what all addicts say. I like to play to pass time, but not to waste time. My removal of mysself from Facebook and subsquetly out of my CC family has not caused  me any anxiety or extra grey hairs. I play my 5 lives and am quite content to wait until they refresh. I do however refuse to pay to board the mode of transport required to take me to the next level, for that I may indeed have to swallow my pride and return to Facebook.

My point, I don’t want to be a Candy Crush Zombie, I can take it or leave it, can you say the same?

Candy Crush…the continuing saga….

candycrushsagalogo
I may be approaching the stage where I spontaneously combust.

I think Level 285 has me beat. I’ve been playing for what seems like weeks and I am getting nowhere! Usually I can see some kind of progress, some chink of light leading to the end of the tunnel! Not this time, the black out curtains are completely drawn, there is nothing but darkness and despair ahead of me on my Candy Crush journey and I am losing the will to partake of my 5 lives!

My trauma is like a mushroom of despair, fanning over my friends. I may even be suffering from Candy Crush depression. I no longer send lives, I have adopted the If I am not going to progress then neither are you attitude. It’s all I can do to not stamp my feet and throw my teddy out of the pram.

Too add to my situation I discovered a grey hair on my head, I definitely did not have that when I was on level 284! I am doomed……..

Last night I had a nightmare that I was being squashed between a striped and a wrapped Candy, they were choking the life out of me. Then spotty fish came and I had palpitations and fell out of the bed!

I rang the CCCS this morning, I was desperate. I found their number in the Yellow Pages. How was I to know they were all about free debt advice, I thought it stood for Candy Crush Counselling Services and not Consumer Credit Counselling Services. She informed me they are now called Step Change. I apologised profusely and said yes I understand, I am going to have to make steps to change as well or Candy Crush will be the death of me.