Daily Prompt: Beyond the Pale!

The Indecisive Eejit17 Comments

Daily Prompt: Beyond the Pale

When was the last time you did something completely new and out of your element? How was it? Will you do it again?
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Image from sophisticatededge.com

Seriously folks, this is so randomly boring and banal that you’re going to think to yourselves, seriously, WTF!!, did she just post that!

On Wednesday the 1st January 2014 for New Year’s Day dinner I cooked a whole chicken! Now before you all start to panic, the chicken was not alive at the time, in fact it looked quite peaceful in it’s little roasting bag, lightly dusted with herbs and spices. I did however have a minutes silence, after I saw my neighbours brood lined up outside my kitchen window  giving me the evil eye. Now before you all start to panic again, it was NOT one of my neighbours in the bag.

I have to be honest and say that while I had respect for the bird before me, I had no remorse, because if truth be told chickens, the live ones that is, scare me just a little. They seem to lay in wait around the vicinity of the back door and when I step outside they are prone to chasing me and pecking at my feet. They always seem to pick the bad leg too, because they know I cannot kick them a boot up their feathered fandangos. In my head they are saying, “Here lads, look at the drumsticks on that, attttttaccccckkkk!!!” In reality there are probably saying, “fooood, this bitch is bound to have foooooood.”

Now I know for most of you cooking a whole chicken will be the easiest thing in the world, in fact most of you probably do it with your eyes closed. I know when I do the funky chicken, everyone else keeps their eyes closed. The thing is, my Mum was a fantastic cook and she would have been the one who did all those kind of things when we were younger. In later years I cooked for myself, but I preferred things like stir fries, korma, noodles etc. Don’t get me wrong I have a healthy appetite but not even I could eat a whole chicken on my own.

The saddest things about the way my Mum’s illness has progressed is that there never seemed to be a need to learn all the cooking secrets that she knew, and now I need to know them, she is not able to teach me. Thankfully for most things I knew the basics which I was able to expand on.

Now I cook for us all everyday and I’ve been trying to experiment and try new things in an attempt to vary our daily menu, which if truth be told is the bit I find the hardest in the whole caring process to date. So you see, to me cooking a whole chicken, which was not only edible but delicious  as well, and best of all didn’t kill anyone was actually a big deal. I served it up, and looked at the plates with a huge smile on my face and thought I did that, while mentally high fiving myself.

Next, which will be another first for me is Shepherd’s Pie….and no before you ask, no Shepherd’s will be harmed in the cooking process!

Under no obligation.

The Indecisive Eejit4 Comments
obligation
Image from searchquotes.com

Obligation – an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment.

This week Jed from Okay, What if? challenged us to think about what life would be like if we had no obligations in the New Year.

It’s a very complex issue, as we have many obligations in our daily lives. I’m terrible at saying the word ‘no’, I think it in my head but it’s never what comes out of my mouth, therefore I place myself under unnecessary obligations all the time .

The biggest one in my life at the minute would have to be work. In fact for a long time everything was about work. Something changed though, I am not sure whether it was to do with the time I had to take off because of injury, a change in job, a change of office,  or simply the fact that I have more obligations at home, but I don’t seem to have the same enthusiasm I once had. I like being challenged and kept under a little bit of pressure, those are the conditions under which I thrive.

Even though, at present, I no longer do my part time job,  I still feel obligated to them. Another firm approached me about a position if I ever consider making a return, but I don’t feel like I could make the move without giving my old firm another try, even though I know the new position would be less stressful as there is a better structure of management in place.

Home life has become more of an obligation in the last year or so, although it falls more into the ‘sense of duty’ category. It somehow does not seem right to refer to looking after a parent as an obligation, it makes it seem cold and clinical .

I think it is expected  that we look after those who have looked after us. We don’t always have to like it, but its the way of the world.

We’ve been given this life, and we have an obligation to see it through to the end.

May Dupp: New Years Eve!

The Indecisive Eejit17 Comments

MayDupp04

In hindsight deciding to pole dance on New Years Eve was not one of my better ideas, neither was using a lamp post as a substitute for the pole. But the straw that broke the camels back was the fact I picked a traffic island slap bang in the middle of Shaftsbury Square as my stage.

It is true what they say, ‘when the drink’s in, the wit is out.’ I will be forever grateful to the policeman some kind member of the public sent to assist me, for sharing that little gem of wisdom, although I still think his use of handcuffs was unjustified. Was it my fault he walked into my handbag just as I was preparing to land.

By the time 1am came I had been separated from the other members of my party posse. Happily drunk, but not to the point where I had no clue about the where, what and whys, I experienced a rush of self satisfaction when I made it into the kebab shop and was able to successfully place an order. A large kebab on pitta, all the trimmings, no sauce. Had I realised at that time that about 15 minutes later I would be using most of it to accessorize my rather delightful outfit, I might have just ordered a chip instead. Thinking about it now, that may have been why the lamp post was so slippery.

It was at this point I saw my friend Onda Poole, one of the aforementioned posse. She was halfway up a dark alley and looked to be in the midst of a struggle. Shouting her name I headed, I was going to say straight across the street, but it was more of a zig zag. Her hand moved in what I, at the time perceived to be a ‘come help me’ gesture,  but the closer I got  I realised it was meant to be more of a ‘feck off’ one. It seemed for my good friend there was more than kebab on the menu that night.

Never one to be outdone I spied the lamp post and seizing the opportunity to grab the attention of not only Onda and he with the wandering hands, but of everyone in the street, I started to climb. It seemed like such a good idea at the time and was certainly a crowd pleaser as everyone was laughing at with me. A few even started to clap their hands.

Egged on by the support I was receiving I inched my way further up the post. It was bloody freezing and I remember thinking to myself how glad I was to have worn the granny pants I had received from my Mammy at Christmas.It’s not easy trying to scale something the same size as Mount Everest whilst keeping your dignity in check. Apparently I failed as there was a roar of laughter from the crowd right after I heard some wee hood shout ‘Nice knickers!.’

It was at this point that things started to unravel, quite literally. As I turned to give the body attached to the voice a two fingered salute, I started, against my will might I add, to slide down the post. Unfortunately my woolie Christmas jumper decided to remain attached and snagged onto a huge (honestly it was) hook that I had thankfully avoided on both my ascent and now rapid descent.

It was also around this time I spotted the approaching policeman and in an attempt to distract Onda from her game of tonsil tennis and gain some much needed help I started to frantically wave my arms. I now understand why blokes call us ‘birds’, because I looked just like a mental seagull, flapping and squawking atop a lamp post.

Of course I tipped backwards and of course I was still turning at the time and of course my handbag was in my hand and in full flight when that silly policeman decided to walk into it. Now at the bottom, someone from the crowd helped me to my feet whilst copping a cheeky feel of my ample backside and there I stood, red faced and in a half top that made me look like a reject from that band Pepsi and Max, no wait that’s a drink, Pepsi and Shirlie.

A heated debate followed,with the attending Constable, as I tried to blame everyone, including the kitchen sink for the events of the evening. Even Onda, whose lips looked like they had gone 3 rounds with a plunger, came over to offer what I thought was going to be assistance. Instead she bid me a fond farewell, muttering that I had really done it this time.

The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur, I think I fell asleep as soon as they put me in my cell, but I did get a ride in a police car! :)

The time is near….

The Indecisive Eejit11 Comments

keep-calm-we-re-nearly-there

The last couple of days I’ve been working on my idea for my fictional character. I have a name, a banner and half of the first post done, so hopefully before too long you will be able to see it for yourselves.

I have a few people to thank though, without whom I would not have been able to get this random and probably ridiculous idea off the ground.

Lee from Geeky and Freaky who no matter how random my ideas are always supports and encourages me.

Paul from Nugs 321 who slags me off, but still manages to help with all my banner woes as he does. I find the pictures and he brings it all together with awesome text and details. If you need a new banner he can be contacted via his Facebook page HERE. He’s not too much of a diva and charges reasonable rates, unless like me you’re one of his best friends and he owes you a few favours! Ladies, he’s available and will offer discount if you flirt. Gentlemen, I don’t think that will work for you to be honest, but you’re welcome to try.

I had put out a request on my last post to see if anyone had some ideas for a name for this new creation of mine. I wanted to make sure that no one was in any doubt this was a fictional character so I was essentially looking for a name to reflect that. I had a couple of good suggestions, especially Belinda Loggins (Bloggins) from El Guapo and Fictitious Franz from Green Embers. However there was one, that for me stood out above all the rest because it perfectly summed up what I was trying to do. Steve from Steve Says.. came up with ‘May Dupp’, so simple yet so effective and it is the one I have chosen to use! Thanks to you all for your assistance and participation, and well done Steve :)

I spoke to Udders on Thursday too and informed her that there was a chance she would be my sidekick in a few posts. I challenged her to come up with a name for herself. After many colourul and some explicit suggestions which I had to reject on the basis that I like the G ish rating my blog has, she settled on the name Onda, as in Onda Pull. I may have rolled my eyes, but I also laughed.

So all the posts for the fictional May Dupp will have their own banner and there will be a new category for her also.

I can only wish that my life was as fabulous and exciting as hers will hopefully be….fingers crossed!

A Lightbulb Moment!

The Indecisive Eejit25 Comments

I think WordPress had a little too much alcohol last night, because it doesn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders today. I’ve been catching up on my reading, but on most of the posts I read I was unable to ‘Like’ as the button constantly sat at loading. I’ve also noticed that likes and pictures numbers do not tally, so obviously something internally is a little askew. I am sure it will sort itself out.

followed-blog-200-1xThe first good news of the year happened last night at 3am when I went to bed, steady on you with the dirty mind, I meant I finally got my little 200 Likes badge from WordPress. See, for all those who doubted me it just proves that if you whinge, moan, beg and bride, you can get what you want! Thank you to all those who helped make it happen.

The second piece of news is that in just 105 more views I will have reached 20, 000. That’s quite a milestone and I would love to say that it’s all to do with my scintillating charm wit and personality. Sadly I think it’s more to do with the worlds shameless addiction to the game Candy Crush and the fact that I chose to write about it. None the less, I am still as happy as a big happy thing :)

The New Year and a chance conversation got me thinking about the things I want to achieve in 2014. Parts of the conversation centered around the fact that many of us wished things had been different in 2013 and in some cases that we had a life other than the one we were living. That one I could emphasise with.

Although I may not have the most exciting life, which in turn means I don’t have many exciting and wondrous tales to blog about, one thing I have been blessed with is a fairly active imagination. This last year, through various challenges I was drawn into the world of fiction, and I discovered I liked it. There is a certain freedom about being able to write exactly what you want under the guise of fiction and imagination. So I’ve had an idea, in fact I did so much thinking today my brain hurts.

My intention is to introduce another character to my blog, through whom I can vicariously live a life less ordinary. It will hopefully be humorous and entertaining. I did briefly toy with the idea of creating a second blog to undertake this adventure but I love you guys and know that you will all help and critique me if required. It’s only an idea at present, whether I can actually make it work is one thing, and how I integrate it with my blog is another.

So what do you think, good idea or bad? and have you any ideas of a name for my character, I am open to suggestions, in fact I would welcome them after my idea of Fanny Fictitious got shot down in flames.

Over to you…………

Well hello there 2014!

The Indecisive Eejit11 Comments
Designs-for-Kids.-Happy-New-Year-2014-n-4-780x780
Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!

 

Is something happening tomorrow?

The Indecisive Eejit19 Comments

NewYearsEve

Ok before I start let me just say I am rocking this whole one eye on the screen, one eye on the TV thing. This laptop is the dogs wotsits! Ok now that’s out of the way, I shall begin….

Is there something happening tomorrow? Is it a special day? There are lots of little New Year posts appearing in my reader, yet the big day is not till tomorrow. Anyone would think you guys are going to be heading out or something.

Up until my injury I always worked. New Years Eve has to be one of the loneliest nights of the calendar to work in a profession where the only contact you have with the outside world is by telephone. Strangely I didn’t mind, I had after all a job to do. Everything would go crazy until about 11.30pm and then things would calm a little as midnight approached. All the drivers would go home to spend time with their families and come the stroke of midnight I would go outside and stand at the front door of the office and listen for the boats sounding their horns as the clock struck 12. Back inside and after a quick call with the folks at approximately 12.15 the phones would start to ring off the hook and it would stay that way sometimes until 5 or 6 am.

On New Years Even it’s inevitable that taxies run late. That mate you promised a lift home, well I hadn’t actually allocated any time for him, so you make me late for the person after you, and so it goes on. When being shouted, moaned and whinged at, I had to sometimes and not always politely remind people that this was also my New Years yet I had given it up to make sure they got home safe.

It’s not that I am opposed to going out by the way, no I am not opposed to it at all, I just don’t like it, so umm no, not opposed.  Ok if truth be told it’s a direct result from trying and failing so many times to date men of the Scottish variety. Old Lang Syne still manages to reduce me to tears at any good New Year shindig I attend, so best to avoid them. (Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only, I can assure my Scottish exes my heart healed just fine.)

Last year without a doubt was the best New Year ever. Owing to the fact that I was still recovering from my injury and there was no chance I was going to be getting down and dirty on the dance floor, or in work for that matter, I spent it with friends on  the Xbox. We had such a laugh, mostly due to the fact that our friend Jelly likes a wee toot of Whiskey and decided to have one or two that night. Many times I laughed till I cried.

It will be hard to top that, although if everyone is around perhaps we can try to recreate the magic. Whatever happens I’ll not be too far travelled on New Years Eve and will no doubt stop by to wish you all a happy and safe one, whatever it is you choose to do.

P.S – It took me so long to TV Watch / Write the post that it’s now New Years Eve, so for the sake of continuity just pretend it isn’t! Thanks :)

The holiday is over!

The Indecisive Eejit1 Comment

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” ― Edith Lovejoy Pierce

I did it, tonight I watched the last episode of Greek. On both Friday and Saturday night I wrapped myself in my new fleece Geek blanket and had little mini TV marathons. By today I had left myself with just one little episode to watch. I was going to save it until New Years Eve, but I just couldn’t wait. All along I had been watching it thinking that there were more series and it was only a matter of time until they would appear. Imagine how sad I was when I consulted IMDB and realised that the episode I had just watched was the last one ever.

It left me with a dilemma, what to watch next. I like the idea of the program Dracula that is currently playing on one of the Sky channels. It’s not so much that I like men with pointy teeth and high collars, it’s more to do with the fact that I like lusting after Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I’d seen an introductory offer for Now TV which would give me the ability to watch the entertainment channels both live and on demand for £4.99 a month. I figured what’s to lose, if worst comes to worst then at least I can watch Dracula. Wrong! Only the last two episodes are on there and looking through the catalogue there is not that much else I would want to watch. Needless to say it’s getting cancelled at the end of the first month, but not before I watch Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew, because he is quite pleasing on the eye too, whilst teaching ordinary people to street dance.

Tomorrow it’s time to return to work and as sad as I am, I am also a little bit glad. I’ve been thinking 5 days is a little to long in the pressure cooker that can sometimes be my home life. That said I am looking forward to getting another day off on Wednesday.

There are still a couple of days left over which I can ponder my New Years Resolutions if indeed I choose to buckle and make some.  I’ll not get too stressed about it, I’ll just try and get through work and to the end of 2013.

The quote says it all really, for all of us who write, we have clean fresh pages and the choice is ours as to what we fill them with.

The countdown begins………..