MFTS – This is not a game anymore

“Where did they go?” I turned round to ask Paul and then realised he was not there.

A sharp whinny drew my attention to the left, where I came face to nose with a horse. Not just any horse, but a Hungarian Half-Bred, not unlike the one I had been riding 2 minutes ago. Only this one was real and if it wasn’t this was some of the best CGI I had ever seen. Looking around, it was almost like I had been transported into the game.

On hearing footsteps I turned to be confronted by John Marston.

“You going to stand there all day, we have wolves to hunt. Buckle up bitch, it’s time for some real life Red Dead Redemption.”

~

(Written for Monday’s Finish the Story – click link for more information. If you’re not a gamer you may not get the reference, but this reminded me so much of a scene from the game Red Dead Redemption, that I had no other choice. 121 words, slap bang (kinda) in the middle. These are fun, give it a try!)

Oh Dear Delphine

Delphine - 2015-07-13-bw-beacham

Delphine always wanted to pilot her father’s plane and when he forgot his keys on her tenth birthday, she knew that taking off would be easy. By that she meant taking off out the door towards the airstrip nestled at the back of the house, the feat of making the plane fly she knew was going to be something else entirely.

There was a slight breeze blowing as she passed through the gate and finally caught sight of the yellow plane, her fathers pride and joy. It was bigger than she remembered, perhaps because she had never been this close before, only admiring it from afar, through eyes squinting at the sun.

Delphine, a book fanatic had read books on aviation from cover to cover, at a push she would probably be able to tell you how to dismantle and rebuild the plane before her, quite a feat for someone only ten years old. She knew the purpose and function of every button on the complex dashboard, how to adjust the seats, and also the location of a cleverly hidden parachute should the need a rise. Let’s hope it doesn’t she thought to herself crossing her fingers behind her back.

Raring to go Delphine walked towards the door, or where she thought the door was. A sealed unit flush with the sides, it was quite hard to spot. All to do with the aerodynamics of the plane she thought recalling Chapter 14. To her dismay however, she could not find a handle and as we all know, it’s very hard to open a door without a handle. Mentally scanning the pages in her head she could find no references to help her solve this conundrum, meaning the biggest thing Delphine experienced on her tenth birthday was frustration.

Just at that moment she heard her father call out asking her if she had seen his keys.

‘No Papa, I will help you look’ she shouted sprinting towards the house, hoping to replace the keys before he noticed.

The moral of the story, it’s always good to have brains, but you also need a dash of common sense. On this occasion it would have helped Delphine figure out that the little arc she thought was decoration, was actually the handle, flush and cleverly concealed to keep it aerodynamic too.

~

Written for Monday’s Finish the Story – check the link for all the information. 

Many thanks to Drailman for the introduction.

Okay, What if You could change!

Okay, What if? Challenge – You

What of you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Perhaps I didn’t think this challenge through before I issued it. I mean did I seriously think I was going to be able to narrow all the things I would change about myself down to just one, who was I trying to kid!

Throughout my life there have always been things I wanted to change, sometimes even my life itself. I wonder how many of us can say with all honesty that we are living the life we always thought we would. Certainly not me, some of that is my fault and some is down to circumstance, not all things are within our control. In order to change, you need to have the time and means to do so.

There are things I wish I had done, things I wish I could do, and perhaps some things I will still yet manage before my time is up. When I sit and consider everything, all paths lead to the door of confidence, which where I am concerned is firmly shut.

Confidence, or lack of is not like a bruise, it is not an affliction you can see, as such, you might be surprised by the number of people it can affect. I know I have shocked people with my admission, because apparently I appear much more confident than I actually am.

Most everything in life takes a dash of confidence to accomplish, even the most simple thing like walking into a room full of strangers.What can be exhilarating for some, can be crippling for others.

I hate second guessing myself, but it has almost become part of my daily routine. I will eventually make a decision, however I will waste time both before and afterwards fretting the outcome. Lately this has proved detrimental to both my work and my mental health. My perceived failure in my current job is shattering the small shards of confidence I had. I am not stupid, I know that I am my own worst critic, but no matter how many people tell me I am doing just fine, I do not feel like I am. I need to learn to give myself a break, I can only do what I can do.

That said, who would have thought that during this post I would show a little confidence and narrow down my choices after all, either that or I am being super smart and have more posts planned, this theme for me could be endless.

Orange/Apple Confidence

Conversations on Trains

Train

I think I have one of these faces. I like to smile, in fact I will smile at anyone whether they are receptive to it or not. It would appear that the act of smiling very often leads into the art of the awkward return smile and sometimes rebound conversation.

On an unmanned TRAIN platform in the middle of the universe:

Me: Smiles.

Stranger: Lovely morning isn’t it.

Me: It sure is, but it’s very warm.

Stranger: You waiting for something?

Me: Yes, the train.

Stranger: It’s very warm isn’t it.

Me: Aye.

Train pulls into the station.

Stranger: Is that the train then.

Me: Yes, you getting on?

Stranger: No I think I’ll wait for the train.

Me: Ummm ok then, have a nice day!

Forgive me for being a little confused by this. There is only one line, with all trains going to the same place. I can only imagine he was waiting for a special train. I might check it out on Monday, it could lead me on a very exciting adventure.

At a table, on a moving train in the middle of the same universe.

Me: Smiles

Stranger: That’s one hell of a phone you have there girl.

Me: Smiling and laughing. That’s not a phone, it’s a tablet.

Stranger: Ach no, I wouldn’t want to be swallowing that thing.

We  both laugh at his amazing quip.

Stranger: So what are you doing?

Me: I’m writing.

Stranger: Writing what?

Me: A blog.

Stranger: A wha?

Me: A blog.

Stranger: What’s a blog then?

Me: Hmmm it’s kinda like an online diary.

Stranger: Oh. There must be some good stuff in there then.(In a nudge nudge, wink wink way)

Me: Not really, it’s pretty boring actually.

Stranger: Well it looks exciting. I might have to get me a big old phone like that and one of those there blog things.

Me: What would you call it?

Stranger: You said it was a tablet.

Me: No I meant your blog.

Stranger: It needs a name?

Me: Yes it has to have a title.

Stranger: (Thinks for a minute rapping fingers on the table) Sure I’ll name it Fido after me dog.

Me: (Laughing) Aye that’s dead on. I’ll keep an eye out for it, see ye later.

I think I  might stop smiling.

(I actually posted this before, way back in 2013, but it was kind of right for the Okay, What If? Challenge so I’ve redone it. I think there will most likely be another one too though.)

I found a fountain pen!

Modern-ftn-pen-cursive
Image by Herrfous

 

It was buried at the bottom of an old pencil case, dry as a bone and with spots of rust starting to take form on the nib. I cleaned it and changed the cartridge, but it still runs dry. It’s been neglected for too long.

I used to love writing, little notes, poems, scribblings in a jotter. It was what I wanted to do, although I was a realist and knew for certain it would never be my fortune. I was never without a notebook for any length of time, sadly not always the same one, meaning I sometimes created mash ups without even trying.

I cringe now when I read back over some of the things I wrote, all that teenage angst flowing through my body and out the nib of a pen, worse still was I was in my twenties! Teenage angst didn’t happen in the back of beyond, there were only hay bales, tractors and young farmers who allegedly did it in wellies. It was only when I moved to the big smoke that I discovered this inner me and my love for the written word.

Seriously, if you don’t believe me when I tell you how bad they were then let me prove it to you:

Be Funny

They say be funny,
I don’t feel like being funny!

I make faces in the mirror,
but that just makes me sad,
I notice yet another spot,
so now I’m feeling mad.
My Mum shouts “Dinners ready now”
perhaps things aren’t so bad,
I  go downstairs and stuff my face,
at last I’m feeling glad.

That said, reading back over them now I can remember both the situation and my feelings at the time, albeit in most cases now my heart is no longer breaking….yup…love was a recurring theme, that and loneliness.

Single Sided Love

I know she loves you.
I can see it in her eyes.
She wants to end your sentences,
but cannot find the words.
She holds you tight,
like if she lets you go,
she’ll loose you forever.
Yes,
she definitely loves you,
but you offer nothing in return.

It’s funny, when you’re younger, actually, any age, when you fall out of love you feel your heart will never mend, especially if you were not the one to actually fall out of it in the first place. You swear you’ll never do it again, and relationships become a taboo subject.

The Burden

I’ll walk up and down the street,
and they’ll say to me,
“What is it that you are carrying in that plastic bag,
that looks so heavy?”
And I’ll say
“My Heart”

Time however is a good healer and with time you become a little more comfortable and sure about your new status. I say a little, because there is always room for improvement.

Part-Time Lonely Heart

I tell everyone I am fine,
happy to be on my own.
But am I?
Sometimes yes,
sometimes no.
A part-time lonely heart.

Eventually you’ll realise there is life after love and that actually despite what you thought for the last three months the world did manage to keep on spinning. Time to get your shit together.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow,
when day breaks,
and the sun again resides in her palace,
the birds will sing,
and rejoice,
for a new day will have begun.

Written for todays Daily Prompt from the diaries of my twenty something self. There really never was much hope for me was there :)

New Year, New You?

Image courtesy of memespp.com
Image courtesy of memespp.com

What if you could relive any year of your life starting on New Year’s day?

That was the question Jed asked for last weeks Wednesday’s What If?, but as he quite rightly pointed out, it is cryptic, as it would mean you would have to relive every day of every year from that point on.

It’s a tempting prospect, the thought of being able to pick a point in your life and essentially start again, and a hasty decision could turn it into a reality. Shake hands with the little man at the door, nod your agreement and it’s all systems go. However, on further inspection, it is perhaps not a decision that should be taken lightly.

Everyone has bad days, weeks, months, and sometimes at the end of a year there is the temptation to say I’m glad that year is over, I hope the next one is better. Perhaps that is because we, especially me, have a tendency to focus on the bad things and forget about all the other amazing little things that happened to actually keeps us moving towards the beginning of the next shiny bright New Year.

If you returned to erase the bad, you would also erase all the people you met, all the love you received, all the happiness you gave sometimes with just a smile aimed at a stranger, and there is no guarantee that the same bad thing will not happen again, only at a different time.

That said, if you played this scenario right, you may just be able to turn it to your advantage:

  • Ever been tempted to try plastic surgery, save up, give it a go, and then if you don’t like the results just rewind time and spend the money on something different.
  • Relationship going down the skids? Save yourself the heartache and rewind time and forget that he / she ever existed.

These are only a couple of ideas from the millions that are floating around in the empty cavity that exists between my ears.

If, however, you are asking me what I would do, well then it’s simple. I’ll stay just as  I am thanks, there were times it was tough enough getting though the last 40 odd years on this planet, I’m not sure that I want to relive them.

Sometimes the best moments are left as memories.

Digging for Roots wearing DM boots!

In this week’s Weekly Writing Challenge, tell us about what makes you, you.

Although I studied Biology at school and by some complete miracle eventually passed it, my knowledge of the human body and what it comprises of is very limited. That said, apart from the tiny birthmark beside my left eye and the 6 inch scar on my kneecap, I am, for the most part, just like every other person on the planet. So what does make me, me?

We’re told we inherit things from our parents, my Mother gave me a splash of red hair and no doubt a little of the fire in my temper also. My father, well he gave me heartburn and anxiety, but sadly thought it unnecessary to pass on some of his laid back demeanor, when not suffering from the second affliction.

I am an extremely simple, yet complex individual. One of these days I will sit down with the latter and have a discussion about why we are the way we are. Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, but sometimes your own advice, as directed by following your gut instinct, is the only one you should heed.

I am a daydreamer and a wistful thinker always staring into a glass that is half empty instead of half full. I have imagination, but I lack the concentration to align the two to make something amazing…one of these days.

I am lonely sometimes, but yet I am surrounded by many people who care for me. It’s hard to make people understand when you cannot understand yourself.

I worry. It is not a choice as some people seem to think, because do you not think if I had the choice I would stop. It’s an affliction and sometimes it is crippling. Yes, of course I could take tablets, but isn’t that a little like papering over the cracks?

I like to make people laugh and sometimes, for all the ills mentioned above, laughter is the best tonic.

There are many things that make me the person I am, but I am nothing special. I’m just trying to navigate life as best I can. Sometimes, it gets a little rocky, and there are days when I don’t think I can go on, but I do, because I have to.

There are many people in this world and each one is unique, which in turn makes me unique, that in itself is a reason to smile.

Those Salad Days

The Daily Prompt asks:

Is there a period in your own personal life that you think of as the good old days? Tell us a story about those innocent and/or exciting times (or lack thereof).

It would be really easy for me to say that ‘the good old days’ were those before my leg injury and the onset of the Motherships dementia, but that would be a lie, because even back then things were far from perfect.

It would be really nice to say that it was the days before crippling worry and anxiety, but I can’t remember a time without them, and sadly my memory is not what it used to be.

I’d love to tell you it was my school days, but I was bullied. Retaining puppy fat and being somewhat ginger into your teens is a tough cross to bear. Hang in there though my ginger friends, because when you reach a certain age people will be matching your hair to the colour charts on the side of a box of hair dye because they admire it so much. Little do they know that these days mine is enhanced courtesy of one of those very same little boxes.

There is one constant though, life is shit, and it has lots of ups and downs, but everyday, there are still reasons to smile, even if you are so deep in shit that you can no longer see the tops of your wellies, there are still reasons to smile. For me, those are the good old days.

For my friends who ran barefoot with me on beaches and carried me home when I was drunk (thank feck I have strong friends). For the ones who made me laugh until a wee bit of wee came out and cried with me to acknowledge heartbreak. For the people I have loved and lost, whose memories will never die and for the nights under starry skies where you are thankful to be alive to witness it. For all my friends and family, a million and one reasons to smile.

Every moment, every event, every interaction, a memory that can be added into the album entitled ‘The Good Old Days’.

~Written for the Daily Prompt: Salad Days

 

 

Ready or not, here I come Cosmic Musicology Test!

voyager-gold
Steve’s still got one big ball!

Ok I am going to have to have words with Steve, because not only do I think he has a new site, but I think this is this weeks test. If not then oh well, I don’t remember these questions so I will do them anyway.

If you would like to join in, host or even make question suggestions please click HERE for all the information you will ever need.

A quick run down of the rules is as follows: 

For each test Steve (at the above link) will post 3 new questions so…

(1) Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle
(2) Say the questions aloud and press play
(3) Use the song title as your answers
(4) NO CHEATING

Title your post “Cosmic Musicology: …” and link back to the latest page.

Post your response in the comment section of that week’s page.

This Weeks Questions and Answers

How was your day?Busy Guy by Hans Zimmerman, The Holiday Soundtrack – I had a quick look there and thankfully all my lady bits are in order, so now we have established that I am not a guy, I can confirm that I was indeed busy today. My boss is off at the minute, so I am trying to get some of the lengthier tasks done. I’ve worked at this one for about 3 days and I am almost done. A small sense of achievement…..I think so :)

What do you want to achieve this week?By your side by Lifehouse – I’ve decided I am never going to be by anyones side, apart from my friends and family that is. Love doesn’t exist, it just makes you embarrass yourself and happy endings are something you get for an extra five bucks at a massage parlour, or so I’ve been told.

Do you enjoy your job?Only if… by Enya – I was curious as to what the answer to this question would be. Pretty good really. I enjoy my job only if I can make cups of coffee, smile, laugh and hopefully make others smile and laugh. Only if I can go home at five o’clock preferably feeling like I have accomplished something. Only if they keep paying my wages, in exchange for my promise to work as hard as I can. Only if I can cherish the two days of my weekend before I go back on a Monday and only if people promise not to ask me how my weekend was if I have a face like a bulldog sucking a wasp as that usually means it didn’t go so well. Only if I still have a job to enjoy……….

What does the Comic Musicology Test say about you….only one way you’ll find out…..get on it like a car bonnet!

P.s Steve, thanks to one of your posts I purchased Sia – 1000 Forms of Fear, I’m loving the song Fair Game, although it has not yet trumped Hunger of the Pine (Alt-J)for most listened to.

Cosmic Musicology Test – Hooray Hooray

voyager-gold
One of Steve’s Golden Balls!

I stole Steve’s big golden ball, rolling it down the road was a bit of a nightmare, but I made it home and I don’t think anyone saw me. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes him to notice. This can only mean one thing, yes indeed, it’s a new edition of his Cosmic Musicology Test. 

A refresher of the rules:

For each test Steve will post 3 new questions so…

(1) Go to the music player of your choice and put it on shuffle
(2) Say the questions aloud and press play
(3) Use the song title as your answers
(4) NO CHEATING

Title your post “Cosmic Musicology Test: …” and link back to this test’s page.

Post your response in the comment section of that week’s page.

Have a look at the archives or click on “Cosmic Musicology” in the category cloud on this page to see all previous tests.

Any suggestions for future questions will be welcomed by Steve!

For more information, to submit ideas for future questions, to host your own or just general feedback go to Cosmic Musicology Test.

This weeks questions: (oh and my answers): 

1. Christmas or New Year?Angel sung by Andrea Begley – That’s got to be Christmas then, because that is what Angels remind me of. New Year is more of an angle, as in the angles you have to get yourself into to either receive or duck the New Year advances of the drunk men wearing beer goggles!

2. Halloween or Fireworks Night?Barbara Streisand by Duck Sauce – I don’t really get the difference between these two. I guess here Fireworks night is not such a big deal and both are really just an excuse to get your bangers out…..or is it sparklers. Regardless, I’m picking Halloween, a party in full blast, this song at full volume, and some random drunk in the corner snoggin a pumpkin, what could be better…Just for clarification I have no experience of this, honest!

3. Summer or Winter? – Paradise by Coldplay – The name of the song would suggest it would be summer right? Long sandy beaches, clear blue seas and plenty of sunshine. For me paradise is a cold night where you are warm inside and can hear the rain and wind batter the windows. All snug and wrapped up, cup of coffee in hand and a good DVD to watch. One condition tho, there must be no ice or snow to be seen :)

Now it’s up to you, if you too would like a shot at Steve’s golden ball, feel free to add your own answers into the mix. You can find all the information you require HERE!