I feel like I should…..

…..write, but I don’t know what it is that I want to write about.

You see shouldn’t this be the perfect opportunity, it’s not like I can go out, hmm, not that I did that much anyway. In some ways lock down is perfect for an introvert like me, other ways not so much, I’m genuinely starting to miss looking at other faces because at the minute the only ones I see most days are the Fatherships and my own, which now my hair has taken on a life of it’s own is a scary fecking sight I tell ya!

I hate shopping just now too, but still when it comes time to take the weekly trip for the groceries there is a little bit of me wants to punch the air and after about 10 minutes of freedom I’m all giddy and stuff from the high of seeing the outside world!

But there are limits to the freedom, because as much as I joke, there is a seriousness to all of this, and there have to be limits. I have an 81 year old with Asthma to consider and as much as sometimes I want to murder him as I swiftly move towards the menopause, I love him dearly.

This situation is not ideal, we are in unprecedented times, so they keep telling me, but we have to stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking of the bigger picture. We are staying at home to save lives. That’s very important, because too many have been lost already.

So I shop and I come home. I no longer browse or idle. I follow a list and I move on.
I thank the people stacking shelves as I shop, because they are working to keep us fed and I tell them to take care, because they matter. All those key workers do, every one of them matters, so we should stay at home.

One day, hopefully, this will be over and life will return to normal, albeit maybe a new one.

My friend will tell her daughter then when she was born she wasn’t able to see anyone for the first three months of her life. We will always ensure that we have an extra supply of toilet roll. We will hug people, and reconnect, sharing stories of how we survied the life in lockdown. Families will remember their loved ones and celebrate lives cut short.

None of us will forget.


7 thoughts on “I feel like I should…..

  1. I find myself ridiculously excited to go out for the groceries until I get to the store and I remember what a nightmare it is these days. I’m grateful that we can go out, don’t get me wrong, but it gets frustrating seeing people who don’t respect “the rules” and those that fill their carts with more supplies than they almost certainly need. But so far none of my little clan have gotten sick so I can’t bitch too much. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve not left the house in over 8 weeks and it feels so weird. I imagine that I’d feel as you describe, weird and anxious to get home. I hear the streets are isolate, I kind of want to wander around in a eerie city, but I know I’ll come across fools that get too close and make me rage.


    • I’m only picking this up now, so apologies for the late reply. It’s even weirder now that things are opening again, I’m not a fan of shopping just now, too many people for my liking.
      It’s weird, my colleagues think that I miss the hustle and bustle of everything and want to get back to work, but actually I don’t, the thought of having to return and face public transport is causing nothing but anxiety, funny how the world works and how people view us.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m still shielding. 16 weeks and counting. People say to me are you not brave enough to go out yet. I don’t think bravery fights off Covid. I can imagine the anxiety of going out. I’ve got all that to come. It makes me anxious enough that though around me are taking more risks than I’d like. Hope you’re well.


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