It’s been five years! 

We were having a chat in work today and my wonky leg came up in conversation, mainly because it’s being a bitch. I’ve only just realised, while pondering life on the train home, that today is the 5th anniversary of my accident.

I hate being in pain, I often remark that from the waist down I need to be erased and then redrawn. I have one knee with a knee cap displacement (unless its moved since it’s last MRI) and one with three holes drilled in it to facilitate a severed tendon being reattached. If I were my knees I’d feckin hate me. Most days I know they do hate me.

I have a feeling the pain is only going to get worse, but I was warned of this, so it’s not like it’s a surprise or anything. I continue my exercises even though the pain now shoots to my hip. I try not to curse when my leg gives out for no reason and I try not to cry on the nights I’ve had to stand for long periods of time and the pain is unbearable. I’m getting old. It sucks. But it’s life.

I’ve quit smoking, it’s bad for the cartlidge that remains in my knees.

I’m eating healthier, to try and lessen the load that the sisters grim have to carry.

I will exercise, but I can’t right now until this current flare up of pain passes. This has been the worst one in a while.

I’m working on not blasting out ‘ya feckin fecker’ when my knee gives way and I jolt my back to keep myself upright. I’ve actually done this on a crowded platform, it’s extremely embarrassing.

I’m still walking, and that’s a blessing because when I initially found out I had severed my patellar tendon from my kneecap, my anxiety ridden brain had me convinced my life was over. It wasn’t.

It’s certainly different. There are things I miss, like full mobility. I hate cleaning the inside of cupboards, but now I wish I was able to. I hate not being able to walk down stairs unaided and I hate that I look like that the poster ‘Evolution of ape to man’ when I go from a sitting to a standing position.

This post is a reminder and a celebration.

It’s a reminder that things can change in a heartbeat and never be the same again, but that they could always be worse. I think of some of my friends, both in real life and here who are dealing with pain and sickness on a daily basis, but doing it with humour and grace.

It’s a celebration of coming out the other side and knowing that despite the fact that there is pain, there’s still life.

There’s more to be thankful for than not.

Happy birthday Alien Leg : )

 

40 thoughts on “It’s been five years! 

  1. I didn’t know about your alien leg Jules. I’m not sure if happy birthday is the right thing to write…but happy-continuing-to-kick-ass-despite-knees-birthday has quite a good ring to it.

    *sending virtual wine*

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  2. You poor ol’ thing Juls! But go Alien 👾 Leg, even if it’s a pain, it’s getting you around! And you’re right, always someone much worse than off… Hard to remember at times though!

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  3. I hate pain. I avoid it with a passion. Mine is in my neck, so yes I’m a pain in the neck, as if you didn’t already know that. getting old sucks, though you are still a youngin. But like you I believe it will get better it has to, it can’t get any worse, but keep on doing all the things you have to do to make your life bearable so you can tell the little ‘fecker’ he ain’t gonna win.

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  4. I am so sorry to read about what you are going through Juls. It will be nice to read a future post where you say that your leg is back to normal and that the alien has returned to its own planet, never to return.
    Big hug. Ralph xx 👽💥💫🌝👍💝

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  5. Pain seems to be the main topic on my brain at the moment (I also just wrote a pain-related post)! Only because as a mum it’s one of those things in my kids I am so helpless about and one of mine has had it quite bad for the past five months with no doctor’s solutions yet. Wouldn’t life be so wonderful without it? Thanks for sharing so bravely.

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  6. Argh – man the masts and set sail on the daily sea of what now? Pain – chronic pain TOTALLY sucks – crap and damn it and all the other lovely swear words I could and would happily throw in here, but it would be impolite.
    But yeah, adapt and adjust, and try to to the small things that can help alleviate some of the discomfort – and you know, part of pain effective pain management is actually allowing all the mixed feelings to be self-acknowledged; you are completely right – there are others who deal with far worse etc. but trust me, denying the truth of your feelings in the moment doesn’t help – of course, screech squawking like a mad parrot on a crowed platform or anywhere public in a sudden outburst, with no visible cause or reason is hard to explain – but heh, pain – sneaky bastard, will always out itself. It’s just that the flushing face and rushing blush does nothing but add to the whole “why me and why now?” scenario – so yah, I get it.
    Anyhow – happy hobbly birthday – and remember, ice packs are our friends, make it your mantra – hahahaha – perhaps this is penguin revenge? 😉 *sigh*

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    • I must get the ice pack on the go again. You go through much more pain that me, probably just by knowing me lol
      I almost wish I hadn’t written the post, it’s like my leg played up in response lol
      We’ll get there, good times are coming for us :)

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      • LOL – pain is a right bitch – it will always arrive in un-timely fashion – here’s hoping you feel better soon – nothing like weird weather and barometric pressure to add to it all – so step carefully my friend (((((((Eejit))))))

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