Me my skillz and I


I thought it about time that I put finger to keypad and lay down some observations for my challenge over at Jed’s site Okay What If?

In the latest challenge which you can view HERE, I asked:

 Okay, What if you went to bed one night and the next morning you awoke to find you were able to do three things that you couldn’t the night before. That can be anything, new skills, new talents, give it your best shot.

As I am sure you can imagine the options are endless, skills that could make me rich, popular and successful to name but a few. Me, I don’t want any of those things, I’m perfectly happy being ordinary thank you very much.

So smarty pants, you quite rightly ask, what would your new skills be. Well if you hang around just a little longer I shall tell you.


By this I don’t mean my fingers on my desk to express irritation, any Eejit can do that, I mean drumming of epic rock band proportions with actual drumsticks. I found out many years ago that the rapping of pencils on a bean tin while providing a nice little rhythm didn’t quite cut it.

I’ve always been fascinated by the rhythm and beat that someone with skill can extract from a drum kit. I was lucky enough in my younger years to have a friend in a band who excelled in this art. I was allowed to try a few times but the result was nothing short of horrendous, making the very foundations of the barn in which we were housed shake.

Sadly it quickly became apparent that while I liked rhythm, I didn’t fecking have any. It was then that my hopes of becoming a professional drummer were abandoned.

Sign Language

I would love to know sign language. I once had a friend whose parents were deaf and it was mesmerising watching him converse in what to me felt like a secret language. It amazes me that in schools they teach foreign languages yet do not offer something that could be more beneficial to every day life. I have a qualification in French but I’ve never been to France. I have however met people with hearing impairments who I wish I could have conversed with, but was unable to.

That said, there is nothing stopping me trying now, despite the fact that my brain does not retain information like it once did. My friends daughter, the little girl who I adore can sign makaton and she is only four years old, I have been trying to learn little bits and pieces but I’m only up to a few words.

If you’re not sure how much better my learning of sign language as opposed to French would have been, then watch this video, yes it’s an advert, but just look at the reaction being greeted with sign language gets.

Sketching / Driving

Ok I realise that is actually two more skillz, but I’m balancing between what other people would want for me and what I would want for myself.

I can’t drive, it’s not something that I am proud of and I feel for others around me it is one of my biggest let downs. I just don’t have the confidence and even though I try to explain my feelings on the subject, no one ever really listens. I was never a great passenger after being involved in a couple of accidents, but what clinched the deal for me was later being involved in one where there was a fatality, albeit that it was not as a direct result of the collision. Perhaps someday I will pluck up the courage, but for now I get the shakes just thinking about it.

Of course, if I were to go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning just automatically knowing how to drive it would be amazing, but I would also have to receive an injection of confidence along with that injection of knowledge.

For me I’d love to be able to sketch and draw properly. I can doodle away to my hearts content, in fact I am quite adept at telephone doodling these days.


But I’d love to be able to draw more than silly characters and eyes, don’t ask, I appear to have a bit of a thing for drawing eyes and half faces with wild hair. On days when the train WiFi is being an arse I’d love to sit and sketch away while listening to music on the pod. For now though I’ll just have to keep doodling.

What would your skillz be? There is still time to tell us :)


The Future Challenge

Loopy Future]

Ok so the fact that I have done a few challenges does not mean I am fair game for offers of more. I am still not a fan, half times I don’t even get time to do my own. Occasionally though I will complete one and this one placed before me by Edwina from Edwina’s Episodes is one I shall attempt because she’s lovely and always very supportive of me. It’s the start of the post and I have not yet decided if I will inflict the pain on anyone else yet. Probably not, I am scared of repercussions.

The Rules: 

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  • Link back to the challenge creator, Dreams and Movie Screens so she can track your progress – Done.
  • Share 5 things about your future (jobs, kids, marriage, travel etc). Then one day you can look back and find out how psychic you really are.
  • Tag 5 bloggers and put them up to the challenge.

Thank you Edwina, mumble mumble groan groan and all that malarky, you probably thought I hadn’t read the post, but I had, it’s just taken me this long to get around to it. It’s a good job I like you young lady! :)

My Future

When I first read this nearly two weeks ago I had no idea how I was going to answer. Present life these days is not so great, the ups and downs of looking after someone with dementia can prove challenging, so when I think of the future I am quite honestly filled with dread. To wish for easier days is pretty much pointless as there is no cure as yet for this horrible disease. so what do I write, let me see:

  • To feel confident in my job – One day, I would like to be able to deal with the challenges that work throws at me without fluttering towards the ceiling every time the shit hits the fan. A year on and I still feel like the new girl, but I suppose in part that is because the job itself is always changing. Every time I turn around they are giving me something else to do.
  • To wean myself off peanut M&M’s so that hopefully one day I will lose some weight and take much needed pressure of my poor knees. Getting a new bra might help with that too, you have no idea how much things sag when you get older :)
  • To perhaps get a tattoo – I have no idea what, where or when or even if ever, but it’s something I keep mulling over. It will be interesting to find out if my future self grows a set of balls.
  • To keep entertaining people. I’ve struggled with blogging this last while and spoke to someone with similar feelings yesterday. I’ve wondered at times over the last few weeks if this is even something I want to continue, but it is, so I hope that The Indecisive Eejit or something similar exists in my future.
  • To be financially stable. If only I had told myself that many years ago :)

I hate passing on challenges as I know everyone is as busy as me, however on this occasion I am going to pass it on to one person, because over the last couple of months she has already made changes and I am genuinely interested to see what she thinks might be in her future, don’t hate me Bipolar Calico, over to you!

Okay, What if You could change!

Okay, What if? Challenge – You

What of you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Perhaps I didn’t think this challenge through before I issued it. I mean did I seriously think I was going to be able to narrow all the things I would change about myself down to just one, who was I trying to kid!

Throughout my life there have always been things I wanted to change, sometimes even my life itself. I wonder how many of us can say with all honesty that we are living the life we always thought we would. Certainly not me, some of that is my fault and some is down to circumstance, not all things are within our control. In order to change, you need to have the time and means to do so.

There are things I wish I had done, things I wish I could do, and perhaps some things I will still yet manage before my time is up. When I sit and consider everything, all paths lead to the door of confidence, which where I am concerned is firmly shut.

Confidence, or lack of is not like a bruise, it is not an affliction you can see, as such, you might be surprised by the number of people it can affect. I know I have shocked people with my admission, because apparently I appear much more confident than I actually am.

Most everything in life takes a dash of confidence to accomplish, even the most simple thing like walking into a room full of strangers.What can be exhilarating for some, can be crippling for others.

I hate second guessing myself, but it has almost become part of my daily routine. I will eventually make a decision, however I will waste time both before and afterwards fretting the outcome. Lately this has proved detrimental to both my work and my mental health. My perceived failure in my current job is shattering the small shards of confidence I had. I am not stupid, I know that I am my own worst critic, but no matter how many people tell me I am doing just fine, I do not feel like I am. I need to learn to give myself a break, I can only do what I can do.

That said, who would have thought that during this post I would show a little confidence and narrow down my choices after all, either that or I am being super smart and have more posts planned, this theme for me could be endless.

Orange/Apple Confidence

What if I spoke my mind?

Image by: alexisnyal

In response to this weeks Okay, What if? Weekly Writing Challenge. – What if I spoke my Mind!

I’m terrible at speaking up, I always have things to say, but more often than not I back down as I am not a fan of confrontation.

Jed’s theme for this challenge reminded me of an incident that happened on the train last week. It is an occasion where I wanted to speak my mind, but aside from that it also made me realise how two people can view the same situation in different ways.

I remember the morning in question, because I was debating doing the change over at the first station where the train turns into an express. It was a busy morning and there were already people standing in the aisle’s and doorways. I glanced back and decided not to bother, I had a seat and blog reading was particularly good that morning.

The conductor was moving down the train towards the doors right behind my seat as the train had already pulled into the station. People were trying to get off by wading through the crowd trying to get on. It was a bit of a human traffic jam.

A lady (and I use that term very loosely) entering the train obviously spied the empty seat beside me and pushed against the crowd to reach it. In doing so she met the conductor trying to go the other way and pushed towards him too, until he eventually said something along the lines of, can you let people get off first.

Having experienced first hand, trying to leave a train against the flow, I thought the lady pushy and rude, I’ve blogged before about how I feel it is polite to let other passengers leave before entering a train.

I said nothing. What I wanted to say was, “Seriously, have you no patience, like none at all. Could you not have waited until everyone was off. You practically shoved the conductor out of the way.”

It’s funny how when something happens, you become aware of someone, who you would normally never have paid any attention to. Subconsciously you place yourself on guard.

A couple of stops later this lady picks up her mobile and phones someone. I don’t usually listen to other people’s conversations, although on a train, sometimes it is extremely hard not to.

Obviously the person she was talking to was either a partner or family member, who also it would seem works for the transport company who run the trains. She told them that she felt like putting in a complaint against the conductor because he was rude and also because of the way he pushed her to the side. I believe she said that she did not like the way he had laid hands on her. She told the person on the phone she had the staff number and they were obviously going to try and obtain the name of the conductor.

I swear she had to know I was listening, because a couple of times I turned and gave her the look, the ‘are you for fecking real’ look! I was actually getting quite annoyed and wanted to jump up and down yelling ‘what the absolute f*ck!!!’ See how cross I was, I never use the word absolute, I can’t even spell it ffs.

I had not witnessed any of the things she said, and my perception of the incident was totally different. I thought she was the one who was rude and pushy and if I’d had the balls to speak my mind I’d have told her that an all!!

For more information on this Challenge and to follow Okay, What if? click the picture below: