Is it Friday yet FFS!

April 11, 2014April 11, 2014 The Indecisive Eejit22 Comments

Have you ever had one of those days where you want to run away and keep on running as fast as your little legs will carry you? Yep, me too, in fact it’s been like that every day this week.

Sometimes people just expect too much of me, they want me to see myself through their eyes, and while the compliments and sentiment is nice, sometimes it just becomes another burden. Instead of lifting my spirits it dampens them, as I always feel the spectre of failure lurking close by.

Work

This whole job debacle has been preying on my mind, probably more than even I realised. Seeing as I had not heard it mentioned in a over a week I figured the whole thing had calmed down and perhaps been shelved, eradicating the need for me to make a decision. But no, just as my ass got comfy where it was, it rears its ugly head again. I’ve been told I am moving, as in do not pass go, do not collect £200, you have no choice, you’re outta your office, thanks for your time. Granted I am only moving up the stairs, but still, change is change.

50% of me likes the fact that I am being told, as it means 4 months down the line I cannot regret any decision I may have made should it prove to be the wrong one. The other 50% is like Whoa, WTF just happened! One thing is for sure, I am going to have to purchase some new clothing, my jeans and slogan tees will just not cut it in the ‘real’ world. I am going to have to become one of those women with a capsule wardrobe, I’m thinking 2 black shirts and 2 pairs of black trousers and I’ll call it a uniform, accessorizing with cheap but gorgeous scarves from Primark! The main problem with that is finding clothes I actually like and being able to pay for them.

The Ships

It would appear that the mother-ship feels I am not deserving of a social life. She seems to have forgotten that I am only 42 years of age and have a life to live.

Me: I got these little Quiches for when I am out on Tuesday.

Her: You’re out on Tuesday?

Me: Yes, and I am out tomorrow too.

Her: You’re out tomorrow?

Me: Yes.

Her: You’re going out an awful lot.

(Last time I was out with friends was about a month ago)

Me: I am entitled to a social life you know. You go out every week.

Her: Well it’s not much when I do.

Me: No but you still get out.

She seems to view me as the live in housekeeper who disappears for around 8 – 10 hours a day. Considering by this stage I’d already made the tea, cleaned up, made tomorrow nights tea, put in a load of washing and written the note for the Fruit and Veg Man all after a full day at work. Truth be told after all the preparation, I’m too feckin tired to go!

The father-ship is getting just as bad, and he doesn’t even have Dementia. I came home from work yesterday and he’d boiled eggs for their lunch. He didn’t however seem to feel there was any need to turn the pot off afterwards, which was why I came back to find the stove still on and the arse burnt out of it. The previous week he had turned the spuds on with no water and a few days after that turned on the wrong ring. Is it any wonder I’m stressed!!

Despite all this I have remained in relatively good humour, strangely.

What lies ahead!

Tomorrow night though is tea with Udders and Monkey and I can’t wait. I need some laughter to help me to forget the week that was.

Over the weekend there will no doubt be some GTA so if you’re playing online watch out, I have a lot of frustration to vent!

Happy Friday Eejits :)

Office Crimes and Misdemeanors!

August 19, 2013August 19, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit16 Comments

The Tinsel Twit will tell everyone within earshot, that she is bullied, and that the person who bullies her is yours truly.

I will tell everyone in earshot that I am bullied, and that the person who bullies me is the Tinsel Twit.

The Diamond Dancer says we are both dick heads and need to wise up!

The whole thing is hilarious to be honest. It’s a good job that all the fighting is only in jest.

The Tinsel Twit will sit like a little woodpecker for a period of 15 minutes, constantly rapping on my brain, peck, peck, peck and then when I can take no more and tell her to shut her cheeper, she starts to fake cry saying she’s being bullied. The woman is worthy of an oscar sometimes for her performances. She hides behind the computer screen, sniggering, fake crying and crossing her legs because she is on the very of edge of literally peeing her pants!! Everyone in the office then reprimands me and tells me it’s terrible how I bully poor wee Tinsel Twit, gawd love her, and I should be ashamed of myself. Then they all laugh, usually at me!

Just last week, when we (Tinsel Twit and I) came back from making coffee, we realised we had forgotten to make a cup for Speedy, so she says “She forgot about you, I’ll go and make you a cup now.” In she walks to the kitchen, hands his cup to me and says make Speedy tea, I’m away to the loo!” She’s crafty, she bullies me when no one is around.

When you were young did you ever have your lunch stolen by one of the older kids, well the Tinsel Twit is much better at it. She has perfected her craft. She’ll sit and look at your food longingly telling you how hungry she is, her stomach in synch with the scam, growling in all the appropriate places. On a few occasions she has eaten half of mine and when I have remarked that I could have eaten another, her reply was “So could I, make sure you bring more tomorrow.” How could you not laugh at that!!

Seriously though, it’s all in jest and the laughter certainly lifts the mood and makes the day go quicker!

Actual bullying in the workplace should never be tolerated, I’ve been a victim of it and it’s not very nice!

The Office Eejits!

August 16, 2013August 16, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

When you consider how much of our lives we spend in work it’s very easy to become bored with the mundane every day routine.

I have always been blessed with having fantastic work colleagues, who not only provide entertainment, but also counselling, advice, smiles and a vast array of other skills that can be called upon if required.

My main counterpart until recently was “Udders”. I have named her this, as she has a couple of features that stand out, especially with the male of the species. Aside from this though, she also has moments of being udderly ridiculous, which provides no end of entertainment for myself and my colleagues. She also has the knack of being able to cheer me up when all udders fail!

Due to office restructuring, she had to relocate to another department, leaving behind a space that few could fill. Despite the move however, she remains a huge presence in my life and has made it her life’s ambition to find new ways to torture me, thank goodness!

Monkey was another one, she abandoned us for pastures new many years ago, but has still remained in contact. She’s the baby of the bunch, the hip cool and trendy one.

Udders and Monkey are my dinner crew and there is never a dull moment. We’re like the three degrees…..of insanity!

The office I am currently in is large and spacious, with plenty of through traffic on a daily basis. My colleagues are as mad as a box of frogs, which certainly helps the days pass, however it’s getting to the point where we may have to consider putting an “Enter at your own risk” sign on the door. Anyone who is brave enough to enter is fair game, it is certainly not for the faint hearted.

The Tinsel Twit, who I mentioned before, is a little like a controllable light bulb, sometimes she can be a little dim, but when she’s on full power she will just blind you with brilliance. The best part is, that she has no idea how funny she actually is, it just rolls off her tongue as we roll about the floor laughing.

Today our big boss called in for a visit. When it was time to leave, he headed towards the door and was standing at the side of the Diamond Dancers desk, dressed from head to toe in motorcycle leathers. So the Tinsel Twit looks at him and says “You on your bike the day then?”, we all burst out laughing and the boss, after looking himself up and down says in the most deadpan voice ever, “No!” So she says “I never saw your helmet,” at which point we again erupted. Trying to make amends she quickly followed it with, “I thought it was just your quirky dress sense!”

Way to go Tinsel Twit, you’ll be getting no £10 deposit for the Christmas dinner from him!

There are so many more stories to tell and you will meet the whole crew in due course. I only hope they give you as much entertainment as they do me.

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