Daily Prompt: Life Line ft Billy & Seamus

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Daily Prompt: Life Line

You’re on a long flight, and a palm reader sitting next to you insists she reads your palm. You hesitate, but agree. What does she tell you?

Being the weekend and on the lookout for something different to do Billy and Seamus decide to take flight to Dublin for the day.

Not having had the sense to book tickets in advance, the two lads find the Enterprise already packed when they board at Central Station.

Not to be deterred they sit down at a table that is currently occupied by only one person, a middle aged lady.

Billy: “Here Mrs, do you mind if we sit here? “

Lady: “Not at all son, make yourself comfortable, we’ve a long way to go.”

Billy: “Thanks a bunch. “

Seamus: “Aye thanks Mrs, that’s while decent of ye.”

Billy: “So are you off to Dublin for the day an all then?”

Lady: “No son, I’ve a show to do down there.”

Seamus: “A show? Are you a singer? “

Billy: “….ah go on an sing somethin for us will ye?”

Lady: (laughs) “No I’m not a singer. I tell fortunes.”

Billy: “Ah get away with ye, I’ll be thinking ye have crystal balls next, only that’s impossible on account of you being a woman an all.”

Lady: “Indeed. No crystal balls here I’m afraid.”

Billy: “All that shoite freaks me out just a little to be honest. Unless yer gonna give me the lotto numbers I don’t think I wanna know. Imagine if you told me that in the next 30 minutes I was gonna be tatey breed ffs.”

Lady: “Tatey breed?”

Billy: “Aye, tatey breed…..deed.”

Seamus: “He means dead, you know as in kicked the bucket…”

Lady:  “….ahh I see.”

Billy: “If you don’t have crystal balls, so to speak, how do you tell someone’s fortune then?”

Lady: “I use hands.”

Seamus: “Ah feck sake Billy sure we’re fine, nothing to be scared of here, we’re no use to her. Thank feck for that.”

Billy: “You’ve lost me…..”

Seamus: “Well we’re male for starters.”

Billy: “Right?”

Seamus: “An our names are Billy an Seamus.”

Billy: “I’m still not following…..”

Seamus: “Ahh feck Billy, do you no get it. She’s a Pam reader!”

Billy & Seamus: Work Experience Day

B&S BannerIn an attempt to increase his skills and get Seamus back into work, the dole office send him on a one day work experience to an office supplies company.

Later in the pub the lads are discussing the days events.

Billy: Well Seamus how did you get on the day then?

Seamus: Aye, no to bad, the craic was mighty. The boss was a bit of an eejit tho.

Billy: How so?

Seamus: Well,  here be’s me to the boss, where do you want this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap.

Billy: Right?

Seamus: ‘An he says pop it over there in the corner. It took me four feckin hours!!

NB: Many thanks to Fiona McK who texted me this gem last night, I had to pad it out a little but the punchline had me literally laughing my ass off! She gets the credit for this one :)