Candy Crush…the continuing saga….

I may be approaching the stage where I spontaneously combust.

I think Level 285 has me beat. I’ve been playing for what seems like weeks and I am getting nowhere! Usually I can see some kind of progress, some chink of light leading to the end of the tunnel! Not this time, the black out curtains are completely drawn, there is nothing but darkness and despair ahead of me on my Candy Crush journey and I am losing the will to partake of my 5 lives!

My trauma is like a mushroom of despair, fanning over my friends. I may even be suffering from Candy Crush depression. I no longer send lives, I have adopted the If I am not going to progress then neither are you attitude. It’s all I can do to not stamp my feet and throw my teddy out of the pram.

Too add to my situation I discovered a grey hair on my head, I definitely did not have that when I was on level 284! I am doomed……..

Last night I had a nightmare that I was being squashed between a striped and a wrapped Candy, they were choking the life out of me. Then spotty fish came and I had palpitations and fell out of the bed!

I rang the CCCS this morning, I was desperate. I found their number in the Yellow Pages. How was I to know they were all about free debt advice, I thought it stood for Candy Crush Counselling Services and not Consumer Credit Counselling Services. She informed me they are now called Step Change. I apologised profusely and said yes I understand, I am going to have to make steps to change as well or Candy Crush will be the death of me.

Candy Crush


Candy Crush is taking over my life!

It all started in the middle of Phase One of leg rehab! I had a series of leg strengthening exercises to do while lying on the bed! There is only so much surfing the net and reading the news you can do, so one day I made the mistake of accepting an invite from Facebook in relation to Candy Crush. It became my new guilty pleasure, strengthening my muscles while crushing multi coloured candies whiled away the boring hours.

It’s entertaining but it can also be extremely frustrating, I have lost count of the number of times I have wanted to smash my tablet against the wall, mind you I have also had that feeling while playing the Xbox too, my poor poor controller. I’ve not yet followed through on either, but I’m smart enough to never say never.

There are levels that you can breeze through and there are levels that have taken me two weeks. I’m adept at begging for tickets to board the train and extra lives. It’s infuriating when you run out just as you think you are getting somewhere. I’ve been so desperate to play on I’ve moved my tablet on 24 hours just to get 5 more lives, then 24 more and 24 more. When I eventually returned it to the original date the little timer had had a nervous breakdown and told me I could not have another life for 2354783 hours! Uninstall and reinstall, all back to normal.

I’m currently at level 275 and I’m starting to panic that I may run out of juicy levels to play! I think having to cope without Candy Crush would be worse than trying to give up cigarettes. What else would I do on my daily train journeys.

Everyone should try this game at least once, but I urge you to exercise caution. Be prepared to kiss goodbye to valuable minutes, even hours of your life!

Any problems contact me for Candy Crush Counselling! I accept payment in Candy Crush Currency…errm I mean Google Play Vouchers!! lol It’s a good job I’m only joking cos I’d be no help whatsoever, you’d be better calling Ghostbusters!!