Heinz – The Indecisive Eejit

I was never really a collector of anything. There are no dead bodies in my back garden, or stamps in my cupboard, well not that I am aware of anyway. I do however have a few nifty badges and broaches that I gathered up over the years, my favourite being a little pair of sunglasses.

If I invited you into my living room / little office, the things that would draw your attention, would most likely be my penguins. I liked penguins, but I wouldn’t have said I loved them. It all started because one year my Sister bought me a penguin for Christmas, but liked it so much she decided to keep it for herself. every year after that, as a joke, she and I bought each other something with a penguin on it, whether it be small or large. I guess word got around and then other people started to buy me penguins and now I have a lovely little collection and the like has grown to love.

IMG_20140124_152739-1 (400x243) — My new penguin umbrella purchased yesterday!

It came to my attention yesterday however, that I also seem to have a mini fetish for mugs. The purchase that sparked this realisation, a Heinz Tomato Ketchup mug that was reduced in the sales to £2 and has ‘Hot Dawg’ in bold letters on the side. I have a little thing for Starbucks mugs too, so every time my sister goes away she brings me one from the location of her visit. The one I use the most at the minute though is my Geeky G4mer one that Lee had made for me, which has my old banner and tag line printed on it.

The standing joke in the office though it my unabashed love for all things stationary! Every time someone hands me something new I experience a little joygasm, I just can’t help myself. Pens, pencils, sketchbooks, notebooks, in fact anything at all and I’m as happy as a bee.

In my head I am organised and efficient, and promise that every new notebook I buy will have a purpose. The reality though is very different and the poor things usually get regulated to a shelf or a drawer within 3 weeks of purchase. I’ll go cold turkey for a while, not allowing myself to enter any premises where anything vaguely stationary like is sold. Eventually I give in.

Thinking about it, running a stationary store would have to be my dream job. I’d have the weirdest but coolest collection of things ever and people would travel from all over the world to buy what I was selling.

Ah….if only!

Daily Prompt: From the Collection of the Artist It’s the year 2113.

A major museum is running an exhibition on life and culture as it was in 2013. You’re asked to write an introduction for the shows brochure. What will it say?

Hello Humans,

My name is Wee Geek. I am a Robot and I will be providing the introduction to your interactive brochure today.

Many things have changed since the year 2013, there are few left who can even remember it.

It is hard to believe that vehicles once ran on fuel. Who would have thought that such a simple thing as a Heinz Baked Bean held the power to propel both us and our vehicles. And to think all it took was for Ms Anita Fart to recognise and harness that potential and power. The rest as they say is history.

This was a year in which people still used Ipod’s and other MP3 devices to listen to music. The Imusicbubble system did not come until much later and as we all know totally revolutionised the music industry. Could you imagine having to give up your bubble and it’s endless music list to insert two little mini speaker type things into your ear? I think not. But this is exactly what happened way back then.

2013 was also the year that MicroSuperHard started it’s rise to become the number one gaming system in the universe. The first half of the year saw Microsoft, as they were known then, fighting a hard battle with Sorry, formerly known as Sony in regards to their XBox One console release. After customer protests, it was well documented that MicroSuperHard had to back track on some of their original design plans and policies, however this was to be the turning point for the brand. In later years the changes on consoles were implemented, but handled in a much better way and received with delight by their now loyal devotees.

Does anyone remember the camera? I didn’t think so. Before the advance of Digital Eye Image Processing and our ability to take a photograph with our eyes, this was the device they used. Optical and Digital Zoom, pixels and lenses were still used, but did not come close to the kind of technology we have today.

The modern house of this era contained something they called a “Kitchen” described as a room or part of a room used for cooking and food preparation. They remained a feature until late in 2027 when the Tea Time Tablet was invented, removing the need to cook from everyone.

There are lots more exhibitions within the museum for you to see, I have only touched on a few of the main ones.

However before you go, the point of most importance is the fact that we are here at all, the fact that we have managed to survive. For many people in 2013 it seemed like the whole world had gone mad, there seemed to be endless fighting, wars, bombings and global warming was fast becoming a problem, things were spiraling out of control.

At their wits ends, the various Governments of the world were at a loss as to how to fix these growing divides as there did not seem to be a common thread to bind them all together. However, one day by pure chance an Aide to the then Prime Minister was reading a blog entry on WordPress from someone called The Geeky G4mer. In this post about Candy Crush was mentioned the possibility that subliminal messages were being broadcast to anyone who played the game, and also that it seemed the whole world was addicted to this sweet swapping saga. Seeing potential in this strange and random suggestion the Aide brought it to the attention of the PM and the worst fears of this lowly blogger became true. Using a subliminal messaging system forwarded via certain levels in Candy Crush the Governments were able to calm and control their populations ensuring that peace was restored to the land.

It has also allowed you to be able to visit us today and we hope you enjoy your stay at The Geeky G4mer Galley.