cold – The Indecisive Eejit

GC - Halloween
It’s hard to believe that the weekend is over once again, and with it Halloween, but fear not folks, only 364 days to go till the next one!

I was looking forward to the weekend, because the past week has been the longest in creation. Whether rightly or wrongly I’ve been blaming the time change, that extra hour came in like Miley on a wrecking ball and knocked everything for shit.

Friday morning I got up grumpy, as you do, well as I certainly do anyway. I mean come on, it was early morning and there was 8 hours of work stuff to do before I could officially say it was the weekend and that’s when it started, the drip, drip drip. Sadly on this occasion it was not a tap, but my nose that was running and that’s how it continued for the whole day. I was so cold sitting in work that I had to wear a hoodie and it was a toss up between what was going to break first, my jaw from all the yawning or my neck from all the sneezing. By the time 5 o’clock came I had a nose like a Belisha Beacon and there was still the shopping to be done.

I laid on the old sympathy card with the Fathership and somehow managed to convince him to come into the store with me and push the trolley, I took a hot flush when I saw the price of the balsam tissues, the ones that are meant to leave your hooter as smooth as a baby’s butt and I had eaten a packet of breaded chicken nibblers before I even made it to the check out because I was following the rules of the rhyme ‘Feed a cold, starve a fever’.

Car loaded up we headed to a different store to check out the price of tissues there, bargin, 99p instead of £3, well that was a win win situation. I purchased a box, and that’s when it stopped, the drip, drip, drip that is. I mean WTF nose give me a break! Erm not literally though, ok. I picked my nose with a tissue, I figured that same as I had paid for them I was bloody well going to use them.

On waking up yesterday and realising there was still no drippage I had high hopes I was on the road to a remarkably quick recovery, but no, it was too good to be true as along came Mr Headache and Mr Lethargy. Saturday is my housework day, but I was so tired that at one point I considered sticking dusters all over my body and just lying down on the floor and flailing my arms and legs.

Then I took a tablet, from the bottle below, and as if by magic the housework was done, perhaps not to my usual standards, but done all the same.

concrete_pills

Today, well I feel the same. I was going to have an early night, but oh no, here I sit writing about picking my nose and eating concrete pills. Perhaps I am delirious!

On that happy note I am away to bed, I’m more tired than a big tired thing schooled at the school of tireness and I am scared that I might fall asleep at my lsj;lfIDHVORVB;ldckj…………..

The worst thing about writing about a fictional character, is where it crosses over into real life. I tempted fate with my story of May and her New Year flu, and now find myself surrounded by used tissues with snotters tripping me. Woe is me. I was even in bed at 11.30 last night, that’s sacrilege. Scarier still was that I was holed up with my Bugs Bunny hot water bottle.

How do I know I have Man flu and not just a normal one I hear you ask, and that is a very good question, for which I have a very good answer. My Xbox One arrived on Friday and it was Sunday before I even managed to get it all put together and into place. I’ve played it once, see, that’s how sick I am!

The only good thing about being in work and being sick is that people generally tend to leave you alone. A few coughs and sneezes had people creeping past my door like it was a contamination area, I mean they don’t even do that when I fart ffs! That said its a useful tool and one I shall remember on days when I cannot be arsed. Say, achooo! followed by whoops must be coming down with something, and watch them all scatter.

I’ve been told to drink plenty of fluids and being the good girl I am (what you smirking at), I generally do what I am told. The slight problem with sneezing and a full bladder is that you have to remember to cross your legs, men you just so won’t get that. It’s actually really hard to sneeze, hold up a tissue, catch snot and remember to cross your legs. Somethings gotta give. Note to self, invest in Tena ladies perhaps for the remainder of this week!

I’m hoping to be better by Thursday, as there is a trip to the cinema planned to see ‘Into the Woods’. Apart from Maleficent, this was the only other film I got even mildly excited about in 2014, just ignore the fact it was not released until 2015. Maleficent, while pretty amazing, was not as stunning as I had thought. I hope the same cannot be said for the one to be viewed on Thursday.

My drive to quit smoking it not going too bad, even though I had used Christmas money to put towards the Xbone, I figured that I can’t have everything so in order to finance the rest of it, it’s time to try and quit. The fact that I have a cold is certainly helping. If I want one I will have one, because denying myself just makes it worse, however, having one reminds me that I don’t actually really enjoy them all that much anyway. I’m not making any firm promises, but I’m certainly up for trying! Total count since Saturday is 3.

I’d been trying to keep up with my reading and since the start of the New Year I had been doing not too bad, this week though, whenever I move myself into a horizontal position and make myself comfortable I tend to fall asleep. Between that and stinging eyes, reading anything has been a bit of a task. That said, I wondered why I was squinting at the screen just now and realised it was because I need to clean 3 days of snot off the lens of my spectaculars, so that’s just what I better do.

Till next time Eejits!

P.s May never did bring me my Chicken soup ffs, she went up to the bus stop and hasn’t been seen since!