The Joys of Modern Travel – Part 6!

June 27, 2013January 6, 2015 The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

There are four seats just inside the door of the train labeled for pregnant ladies and possibly disabled persons. I’ve been looking at the little drawing for days and am having trouble figuring out exactly what it is, although there is no doubt about the pregnancy one, unless of course it’s for someone with a beer belly and I am totally mistaken.

Usually I avail of one of these seats, they have a little more leg room for the days when Alien leg decides she does not want to bend! I do of course move should someone more deserving come along!

This morning I was beaten to it by a couple who were obviously in the middle of a marital spat as they opted not to sit together, but take one set of two each. Fair enough thinks I, they are older and more deserving so I pottered on and managed to shoe horn myself into one of the smaller ones.

It took a minute or two coaching an appropriate bend out of Little Miss Awkward but eventually I got settled and pulled out the tablet to avail of the excellent free WIFI services!

Just as I was about to open up my WordPress Reader and get knuckled into the morning offerings the conductor says “Sorry folks, I have to ask you to move into the next carriage. We have school children coming aboard and we need to seat them all together”. I swore inwardly. Somehow I managed to heave myself back up, bones a creaking and moved down a little asking the conductor if I was allowed to sit in the chairs at the bottom of the carriage as there were still some seats available. Thankfully he said yes, although that may have had a lot to do with the stricken look on my face.

I like kids. They are cute, funny little individuals, who make you smile.

I don’t however like 50 of the wee beggars all at once, screaming at the top of their voices because they are super excited about being on a train. At one point I was going to stand up and start singing “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round” in a bid to get them to join in and hopefully stop the wailing. Instead I stuck in headphones and jacked up the volume. They were only going two stops anyway.

The journey continued. Music blaring. Kids blaring. Headache starting.

Two stops later we’re approaching the station where the kids are due to depart and I see them lined up on the platform, the most feared group to travel on the railways, the ones who make even the conductors quake in their steel toe capped boots…..The Gangsta Granny Brigade!!

Armed with their free passes, red lipstick and deadly handbags they line the platform and flatten anyone within zimmer frame distance.

Get out of Grandma's way or pay the price! — Get out of Grandma’s way or pay the price!

If you’ve read my blog before you will remember in Part 4 , I had a mini rant about people barging on and off trains. The Gangsta Grannies are the worst offenders. They didn’t just get old, they got fiesty and they are prepared to fight for the right to enter trains before everyone else has had a chance to exit. I’ve seen a fair few young men and women too for that matter get a good skelp with a handbag.

So the teachers are trying to get everyone organised to get off. The kids are jumping up and down squealing with excitement. The grannies are flailing their handbags around like human windmills and knocking kids awry like pins in a bowling alley and the conductor is descending the stairs to the depths of despair. It was all pretty good fun actually, and evil me, it brought a smile to my face!

Eventually everything got sorted and I have to say my heart did melt a little at the sight of all the kids in a line with their colourful little waterproof coats and wellie boots, all smiles and waving at us as we left them behind.

I didn’t listen to anymore songs after that on the old Ipod. I was to busy silently chuckling, while listening to the conductor rant about the Gangsta Grannies and how they would mow down anyone in their path.

He did however make a valid point, if the younger generation were to barge on through like that the GG’s would be the first to complain!

Respect has to be earned!

Alien Leg – Part 5

June 25, 2013June 25, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit1 Comment

Previous Post!

Let‘s go back a little in this story. I feel I need to provide some information with regards to my injury.

The Patellar Tendon runs from the kneecap to the Tibia, the bone under your Knee. The rupture meant I had in effect severed this tendon, removing it from the knee cap, resulting in me losing the ability to straighen my leg and my knee cap to be lodged about 3 inches higher than it normally was.

The repair involved the surgeon, making a incision of about 6 inches vertically up the knee, drilling 3 holes in my kneecap and basically sewing the tendon back onto it.

Recovery involves the tendon healing and scar tissue forming to help everything re attach. That’s it in a nutshell, well to the best of my knowledge anyway, I never got very detailed accounts.

I googled pretty much everything to try and gain a better understading of what was happening, and more importantly, going to happen.

Back to the story…..

The rest of Saturday passed in a bit of a blur. I was still a little woozy from the earlier Rice Crispie incident. My friends came to visit, bringing with them smiles, helium filled baloons and Haribo!

I slept better that night, I’d eaten a little and I was so tired I even managed to block out the middle of the night chatter from my ward companions.

Sunday morning brought about a shift change and a new nurse, however the Sister was still in attendance. The new nurse was brilliant, she promised she would try and get me released later in the day. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to get home and into my own bed.

Under her watchful gaze I managed to make it to the rest room all by myself, she did however follow me with a wheelchair in case of emergencies.

Satsified that I was walking she arranged for me to go and be fitted with my leg brace, which was to be my constant companion for the next 3 months or so. I’d walked relatively ok in the post surgery one so I had high hopes that the new one would be the same.

I was placed into a wheelchair with alien leg on a little platform to keep her up and safe. A lovely porter, who just happened to be a gamer came to collect me and we chatted about consoles and what was hot or not in the gaming world as we sped through the corridors to the Fracture Clinic.

Once there, it was out of the chair and onto a higher one, kind of like a dentists chair. The two gentlemen who had cut me out of my cast the previous Tuesday, removed the temporary brace, all my bandages, checked my wound, put on a smaller dressing and then fitted me with the new one.

Back into the wheelchair and my friend is back, push push, more chit chat and within the space of 45 minutes I was back at my bed. I was worn out, kinda hard to believe really considering I hadn’t done anything!

My nurse was all business trying to get me sorted out to go home, tablets and injections were ordered. I was given a box of Laxido (in my head pronounced Laxidoooo to help you poooooo) just in case, as I had not been able to….well you get the drift!

It worked not to bad actually, because the sight of the box, and all the injections I was to take with me were enough to scare the shit out of anyone!!

They decided I could go home. Not that I was glad or anything, but I started packing straight away!

I changed out of the pink nightshirt, and back into my cow print pj bottoms and started to walk down to the toilet. It was going to be a long journey home.

Panic set in, I couldn’t walk in the new brace. My earlier freedom of movement was gone. Now when I stepped forwards my leg felt like it was being pulled in about 5 different directions and I was thinking this brace can’t possibly be on right. I was in quite a bit of pain, so much so I was beginning to wonder had I somehow hurt myself again. I called over the Doctor on duty but he wasn’t to sure about how leg braces were supposed to work. I asked “Do you think it’s ok” and his reply was “Aye it should be”. Now there’s confidence for you.

Feck it I thought, I don’t want to be here another night, I want to go home, so shut up and ship out! and thats what I did!

To be continued….

The Curse of Pinball FX!

June 24, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit4 Comments

I had to take an impromptu day off today, good old NIR were having a strike!

I had high hopes for how the day was going to go. As usual that took a turn up a different path that I intended.

I got pretty much everything done, except my mini spring clean. I find that as things change I need to prioritize my time a little better. I have to change things up a little to fit in the chores and the tea making. So between doing the dishes, washing, the VAT and preparing the tea I had this little two hour window left in my day before I actually had to start to cook. My intention was to organise my working space a little better. What actually happened was I sat down with a coffee for a quick game of X-Men on Pinball FX 2. My quick game lasted two hours and my working space is still organised chaos!

Way back when at the start of the Alien Leg saga, just after surgery, Pinball FX was all I played. I didn’t have to think too hard and it was fun figuring out the mechanics of the tables. You meet some weird people on the multi-player though, right Jelly!! He says I stalked him, I certainly did not, well maybe a little, I was starved of company. It was through him I met Shady, almost a year ago! How have they stuck me that long :)

For a long long time I was the leader in Pinball, my name was up in lights and I wore the goofy crown, with an equally goofy grin on my face!

Juls imagined she was jumping up and down on Jelly's head! — Juls imagined she was jumping up and down on Jelly’s head!

Guys are weird though. They HATE being beaten by a girl. Unbeknown to me while I was addicted to Trails Evolution the crafty buggers all crept past me. One day out of the blue I started getting these automated messages telling me my score had been beaten, with little add on’s like “Who’s the king of the pinball tables now b$tch”, even Shady’s cousin’s at it. It’s not even like they beat me by a couple of thousand points, we’re talking millions ffs!

So hence my two hour foray onto X Men today. If I can get back on top of that table, I’ll manage to kill two birds with one stone, metaphorically speaking of course!

I got irritatingly close to my own best score, however nowhere near theirs.

I had to turn it off before I did damage to the TV with the controller! Me…game rage….never!!

I WILL NOT be beaten though. I will once again reign supreme, it’s just going to take a little longer than I had hoped.

I have to get my title back, the feckers have beaten me at everything else!

Daily Prompt – Ha ha ha!

June 23, 2013July 14, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

Better late than never for Fridays Daily Prompt.

Tell us a joke! Knock-knock joke, long story with a unexpected punchline, great zinger — all jokes are welcome!

My favourite joke!

It’s late and a man and his wife are heading to bed for the evening. After turning off all the lights and heading up the stairs, brushing his teeth and all the usual bed time routine, the man is just about to remove his dressing gown when there comes a knock to the front door.

Not impressed he reties his dressing gown and stomps down the stairs flinging open the front door.

There stands a man who says to him “Here mate, you couldn’t give us a push could you?”

“Give you a push! Have you any idea what time it is, I was just about to go to bed, go on about your business and don’t bother me again” and with that he shuts the door.

He returns upstairs to find his wife in the bedroom with her arms folded, a rather stern look upon her face.

“Shame on you Jimmy” she says. “I’d like to think if you were stuck or broken down at this time of night someone would help you, and not slam the door like you just did. Now go back and give that fella a hand!”

Now bordering on angry, Jimmy again descends the stairs, flings open then front door and shouts “Hey lad, where are you?”

“Over here on the swings” came the reply!

Daily Prompt: Ha Ha Ha (dailypost.wordpress.com)

Life is a Lottery!

June 22, 2013July 14, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit7 Comments

Fingers crossed for the Geek!

A while ago I started playing the lottery online. It was so much easier, deposit £10 and get your tickers for the next 4 weeks, no temptation to purchase a sneaky scratch card.

I don’t even really like playing the lottery. I used to buy lucky dips every now and again and that was about it. About 6 months ago Shady and I picked 6 numbers and I’ve been playing them ever since. It’s almost got to the stage I am scared not to play in case the dam numbers come up, with a lucky dip you would never have that worry.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I wouldn’t want to win millions and millions of pounds. I don’t believe that money can buy happiness, it’s brought me nothing but misery, my own fault of course.

First things first I’d have to buy his nibs a ticket from the USA to Dublin cos that’s the cheapest direct flight, I might be a millionaire, but I’m still going to be sensible. We’d bum around Dublin for a while checking out the sights and supping pints of Guinness before we headed North.

I’d pay all my bills so I did not owe anyone in the whole wide world a single penny.

I’d give money to my family for them to spend as they pleased. If I won enough I’d pay off a few mortgages to make life a little sweeter.

I’d give Lee £10,000 to spend on gadgets and technology. I’d also give him a box of tissues, he tends to drool over shiny electronic items! He uses tissues for other things too but you really do NOT want to know!

I’d buy Paul a TV licence so he didn’t have to watch programs 7 days behind the rest of us. I’d have to be creative about how I helped him out. Were I just to hand him a wad of cash he’d head to the pub darts in hand! Worse still, he might buy a pub!!

I’d buy a medium sized house, that would have a games room. Shady and I have had so much fun talking about how we’d kit it out. We never usually get much farther than pinball tables, lots of lovely pinball tables. There’d be a wall of TV’s with one of every kind of console attached. A full sized, sit in Sega Rally and OutRun, a huge jukebox, a pool table and an air hockey table. Shelves all around the room would house my recently purchased collection of game character models, my Final Fantasy collection being the first to reach completion.

There would be a secret panel in the wall to conceal my little fetish room. Wall to wall stationary. Paper, pens, notebooks, journals, memo blocks, post it notes……I might need a tissue myself soon! What can I say, I’m a freak! I LOVE stationary, it makes me all google eyed!

Whats the reality?

I’d probably win a tenner and lose the ticket on the way to cash it in!

But a girl can dream!

If money was no object, what would you buy?

Super Soundtracks!

June 21, 2013July 14, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit3 Comments

I love music.

I love it for the way it makes me feel and how it can change my mood.

One of my bosses says that my music makes him want to go and find razor blades to slash his wrists. I can see where he is coming from, I do have a preference for all things melancholy.

Despite this though I have a very varied collection of all kinds of everything and I am always open to new ideas. My In My Music Bubble page gives a fair indication of the current play list.

I tend to chop and change though, I’ll play something for weeks or even months on end and then forget all about it. I make myself weird little play lists like, Chilled, Sad, Dance and Cleaning to name but a few. Each contains just the right amount of songs with a suitable beat for the task in hand.

One thing I keep coming back to though is soundtracks. I LOVE them and rarely tire of them. It’s something about the mix of the music and how it can transport you, different styles and beats blending seamlessly into one. I’ve happened across soundtracks to films I have never even seen, meaning I have to rely on my imagination to supply the visuals. So here, in no particular order 5 of my favourite movie soundtracks:

	Red Planet This was a bizarre little find. We used to have this music store that every so often would put on a sale where you could buy 4 CD’s for £10. I used to buy them and then sell them on Ebay. More often than not I made no profit. I decided to have a listen to this one before I sold it, fell in love and needless to say it’s been on my shelf ever since. I think I did see the movie, but it obviously was not that memorable. Best Track: Canto XXX – Emma Shapplin
	Shopping Shopping in this film is in the form of Ram Raiding. I saw this movie one Saturday night at a friend’s house. We’d all been like, you want us to watch a film about Shopping, wtf! It was nothing like we imagined. I loved both the film and the soundtrack. Best Tracks: Water Pistol Man – The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, Why don’t you take me – One Dove and Heaven or Hell – Salt ‘n’ Peppa
	Sucker Punch With regards to the film, I liked it, but I didn’t love it. The soundtrack however was different. Old songs got a new funky twist making them just that little bit more sinister than before. Best Tracks: Sweet Dreams – Emily Browning, White Rabbit – Emiliana Torrini and Tomorrow Never Knows – Alison Mosshart.
	Gladiator Not to be confused with the original soundtrack, this is actually entitled More Music from the Motion Picture and it’s much better than its predecessor. I didn’t watch Gladiator until a couple of years after it had been released because I thought it wouldn’t be my type of thing. It completely blew me away and I was annoyed I had waited so long. Best Track – Now We Are Free – Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard
	Avatar I love this soundtrack. I also loved the film. There are parts that are truly uplifting, but also parts that can make you sad when you remember which part of the film they came from. Best Tracks: Climbing Up Iknimaya and Jake’s First Flight– James Horner

This is only a few of the many soundtracks I like. If you have any suggestions for ones I should listen to I’d love you to leave me a comment. I like being introduced to new music!

A 360 Degree Turn!

June 20, 2013June 20, 2013 The Indecisive EejitLeave a comment

I read a lot of stories this morning on the way to work, but the one that brought the biggest smile to my face had to be What’s Your Tag’s post (which I reblogged) about Microsoft’s reversal of some policies in relation to the new Xbox One.

Let’s be honest here, I still can’t afford to purchase one, well not for the time being anyway. I just don’t have that kind of money to spend right now, but I am a little less glum about the prospect should my little 6 year old decide to pop it’s clogs mid game with an awesome rendition of the red ring of death.

It’s comforting to note that Microsoft are actually listening to their fan base and attempting to put right some of the issues that made us feel wronged. I do however wonder how much of it was, “I can see their point” as opposed to “Uh oh, they are going to leave”.

Who cares, no matter how you look at it, it’s a result.

I’m wondering if I can hoodwink you all into clicking a nifty little Paypal button and making donations to a “Keep the Geek Gaming Fund”. Only messing, saving is much more fun and I’ll hand myself a healthy serving of satisfaction when I purchase one!

It made you what??

June 18, 2013June 18, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit4 Comments

"Juls never got the hang of First Person Shooters" — “Juls never got the hang of First Person Shooters”

No one ever quite believes me when I tell them I cannot play FPS (First Person Shooter) games. More often than not they laugh when I tell them it’s down to suffering from motion sickness. I can see them looking at me like I am clearly not right in the head, and to be fair most of the time that is indeed true, but this time I am being totally serious.

I first noticed it whilst taking Medal of Honor: Frontline for a test drive.

One of my mates had this huge 42 inch TV which in 2002 was a rarity as far as I can remember. He hooked up the PS2, switched everything on and I was in geeky heaven, until the game started.

The first section was called “Your Finest Hour” or something like that, it was my worst hour.

The game starts with you storming onto Omaha Beach. Being a first person shooter you can see the end of the gun as it rises and falls to simulate your movement as you advance. On the huge screen everything was exaggerated and within 5 minutes I had turned green and handed back the controller.

What is Video Game Motion Sickness?

Motion sickness caused by video games, sometimes called simulator sickness, is caused when there is a disconnect between what your eyes are seeing and what your body is feeling. The most common theory (taken from many medical websites) about why you get sick is that your body thinks that you have been poisoned and you are hallucinating the movement that you are seeing but not feeling, so you get nauseous and (if you don’t stop playing right away) vomit in order to flush the toxins from your body.

I was a little miffed at not being able to play, but no big deal I thought, it’ll pass, I was happy enough watching. Nope! Couldn’t do that either, the waves of nausea just kept coming. So we changed the game.

I never was a big lover of war games anyway so the fact that I was unable to play them didn’t really worry me all that much, but then it started happening with other games. I’d have to take a break from Tomb Raider sometimes when I was lost and running around in circles because I was getting as dizzy as Lara was.

There are plenty of games I have played and also plenty more I still have to play, however there are some that I feel I have missed out on that I would at least like to have tried. Oblivion is one, I purchased it but never progressed that far. The BioShock series however, is one of the ones I am most annoyed about, I like the idea and the look of it, I just can’t play it.

Battlefield 3 strangely enough I was able to play in multiplayer but not in career mode. Now when I say “play” in Multiplayer I mean the sequence of events was as follows, Spawn, stand up, die. Respawn, stand up, die and so it went on.

Grid is another one, I never race in it, but as a group we were all fond of the Demo rooms. I can play for so long and then I start to get nauseous.

Getting motion sickness while playing videogames affects a lot of people, yet it seems almost like a taboo to talk about among gamers because you might not be seen as “hardcore” since you can’t play certain things.

Oh no! I’m not hardcore, ah well sh1t happens!!

Apparently Ginger is meant to be pretty good for counteracting motion sickness so I have my cure sussed! The only way for me to progress is to eat copious amounts of ginger! Life as a non hardcore gamer can be tough sometimes!!

Entertaining Journeys!

June 16, 2013January 6, 2015 The Indecisive EejitLeave a comment

The last couple of days travel has been interesting to say the least.

Friday night my Sis and I headed into the big smoke for a dander around and a cup of coffee. When it came to heading home time we walked up for the train, found ourselves a table and made ourselves comfortable.

There was a gentleman sitting in the table across the aisle from us, but neither of us really paid him any attention. That is until he picked up his phone and decided to make a call. Trains vary between different places, but the space inside a carriage would be relatively uniform across the board. My point, well it’s far to easy to hear a conversation, I personally hate making calls on a train. It’s easier still when the caller is making no attempt to be private.

So there we were minding our own business, chatting away to each other when this guy says to the person he was calling, and not particularly quietly either, “How’s your shite”. My sis and I just looked at each other in a quizzical, did we just hear right kind of way. We had, so of course we started to laugh. Unabashed he carried on, a full conversation about bowel movements and how it was good when they returned to their normal colour and how you had to check the consistency and that was only the start. By this time my sister and I had both lost it, you know how it is, the harder you try not to laugh, the more you do. He had to know we were laughing at him, infact by this time he was laughing too, we’re just not sure if it was at us laughing at him or with the person on the phone.

By this point I had actually turned around in my seat to face the window in an attempt to calm myself down and stop laughing but nothing was working, my sides were starting to hurt and tears were streaming down my sisters face.

Thankfully my phone rang and it was Shady. I was never so glad to get a call in my whole life. I haven’t even had a chance to tell him about this yet, but because I was talking to him I was able to tune out the other guy and eventually calm down.

He wasn’t even embarrassed. I said to my Sister afterwards that I bet there wasn’t even anyone on the phone.

Today I get on the train to go home, (it must be something about that line), and there is a guy merrily chatting away. I figured he was with his kid, this being fathers day and all. I could hear him saying of course I’ll teach you to fly and to be fair I was a little bemused by this until I realised he was on his own and was actually talking to a little model Concord airplane that he kept repeatedly tapping against his forehead.

I think I’ll need a little bit of time to recover before I take that train line again!!

Candy Crush – Sweet Search Terms II

June 14, 2013July 14, 2013 The Indecisive Eejit2 Comments

I’m still laughing every day at the search terms that bring people to my blog with regards to Candy Crush. The whole world seriously has gone mad!

I have to be truthful and say that of late I have not been playing as much. This is for a couple of reasons:

Level 347 is a complete and utter bubbling pile of dung! (Wait, did I just experience a rush of Candy Crush rage). Normally when you’re stuck or have been stuck on a level for a while you can at least see little flashes of hope. Not on this level, it’s a hope sucker extravaganza. It’s got so bad that I don’t even really want to try any more.
Since I started the whole blogging thing I’ve been adding witty, smart, entertaining and educating people to my Blogs I Follow list and they have been amusing me on my journeys to and from work! (Note to Blogs I Follow: Posting your pennings around 8am GMT would be just perfect for me, if you could thrown in a couple around 5.30pm too, better still! )

So here are some more Sweet Search Terms:

Candy Crush Rehab – You know I started out way back when thinking this was funny, but now I am starting to think there actually are a few (million) people out there who might indeed need to be collected by men in coloured, candy stripe clothing and taken for some counseling.
I have no photographs of my friends on Candy Crush – You’ll probably find that’s because no one will set it down long enough in order to take one.
Candy Crush Saga Subliminal Messages – See!! I’m not the only one who thinks this is a world wide conspiracy to fry our brains from the inside out. I don’t know about you lot, but I should be ok. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to fry fresh air!
Candy Crush Flu – I’m thinking the symptoms are more anxiety, self loathing related. You’re feeling anxious because you cannot get past a level and you’re full of self loathing because you cannot quite believe something as stupid as a game is making you feel anxious. It’s a vicious circle that is sending you subliminal messages at the same time. Step away!!
Why I feel depressed after playing Candy Crush – Because you’ve just realised you have wasted valuable minutes, hours and days of your life and you can’t quite understand why you suddenly have this strange desire to go to McDonald’s for a Bacon & Cheese Burger with extra Gherkins!
Telephone number to contact Candy Crush – 0800 H-E-L-P-M-E-P-L-E-A-S-E
Do you get aids playing Candy Crush – Even though there is bodily contact, heavy breathing and twiddling of knobs, I am pretty sure the answer is NO!
Can I connect Candy Crush to Facebook without anyone knowing – Shame on you! Face your addiction.
Why my mouse could not play Candy Crush – I’m not really sure why this was. Did you set the device the right way up in the cage and make sure it was not covered with sawdust? I’m at a bit of a loss, because clearly your mouse is more intelligent than you!
Can I play candy crush naked – Two things bother me about this. Why do you feel the need to ask, you complete and utter exhibitionist. If you want to let it all hang out, you work away! Secondly why did it lead you to my blog. I SWEAR I have never played Candy Crush naked, I would never subject poor little Tofette to something like that!