Category: Daily / Weekly Prompts!

Daily Prompt: Life Line ft Billy & Seamus

The Indecisive Eejit4 Comments

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Daily Prompt: Life Line

You’re on a long flight, and a palm reader sitting next to you insists she reads your palm. You hesitate, but agree. What does she tell you?

Being the weekend and on the lookout for something different to do Billy and Seamus decide to take flight to Dublin for the day.

Not having had the sense to book tickets in advance, the two lads find the Enterprise already packed when they board at Central Station.

Not to be deterred they sit down at a table that is currently occupied by only one person, a middle aged lady.

Billy: “Here Mrs, do you mind if we sit here? “

Lady: “Not at all son, make yourself comfortable, we’ve a long way to go.”

Billy: “Thanks a bunch. “

Seamus: “Aye thanks Mrs, that’s while decent of ye.”

Billy: “So are you off to Dublin for the day an all then?”

Lady: “No son, I’ve a show to do down there.”

Seamus: “A show? Are you a singer? “

Billy: “….ah go on an sing somethin for us will ye?”

Lady: (laughs) “No I’m not a singer. I tell fortunes.”

Billy: “Ah get away with ye, I’ll be thinking ye have crystal balls next, only that’s impossible on account of you being a woman an all.”

Lady: “Indeed. No crystal balls here I’m afraid.”

Billy: “All that shoite freaks me out just a little to be honest. Unless yer gonna give me the lotto numbers I don’t think I wanna know. Imagine if you told me that in the next 30 minutes I was gonna be tatey breed ffs.”

Lady: “Tatey breed?”

Billy: “Aye, tatey breed…..deed.”

Seamus: “He means dead, you know as in kicked the bucket…”

Lady:  “….ahh I see.”

Billy: “If you don’t have crystal balls, so to speak, how do you tell someone’s fortune then?”

Lady: “I use hands.”

Seamus: “Ah feck sake Billy sure we’re fine, nothing to be scared of here, we’re no use to her. Thank feck for that.”

Billy: “You’ve lost me…..”

Seamus: “Well we’re male for starters.”

Billy: “Right?”

Seamus: “An our names are Billy an Seamus.”

Billy: “I’m still not following…..”

Seamus: “Ahh feck Billy, do you no get it. She’s a Pam reader!”

Daily Prompt: Everything Changes ft Billy & Seamus

The Indecisive Eejit9 Comments

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Daily Prompt: Everything Changes

Walking down the street, you encounter a folded piece of paper on the sidewalk. You pick it up and read it and immediately, your life has changed. Describe this experience.

“Billy what’s that by the side of the road?”

“Don’t de so feckin lazy an go an look for yerself, can ye not seem I’m busy here.” 

“Aye. Busy doing nothing ya big lump.”

Seamus picks something up off the ground.

“It’s a note.”

“Aww happy days Seamus, please tell me it’s a £20 note, I could do with a pint.”

“No Billy, it’s not that kinda note. It’s a Doctor’s note. They found your missing brain cell.”

“Ha feckin ha.  Seriously though what is it?”

“It’s an invitation to the Europa Hotel for your man that tends the fires down at the forge works.”

“Ye mean wee Sooty, on account of the fact the wee bugger looks like a chimney sweep, always covered from head to toe in the stuff from the arse of the fire.” 

“Aye that’s the one.”

“C’mon we’ll take it down to him, sure we’re not doing anything else anyway.”

Billy and Seamus reach the Forge Works and ask to speak to Sooty. 

“Alright lads. Youse lookin for me?”

“Aye Soot…..”

“Ye can call me Joe.”

“Aye Joe, we found this here invitation addressed to you, it’s for the Europa Hotel.”

“Ye did not. Feck that’s brilliant. I thought I’d lost it and wasn’t going to be able to go. I’ve won a prize and that’s where I’m supposed to collect it. Thanks so much. Here take this £20 and buy yourselves a couple of pints, my way of saying thanks.”

“Ach no we couldn’t………”

“Look I insist, you have no idea how grateful I am.”

“Well thanks very much indeed. Glad to help.  Looks like you shall go to the ball after all Cinder fella.”

NB: Wracked my brain for half a day and couldn’t think of anything else. Yvette don’t you dare shout, I promise not all posts will be BIlly & Seamus related! :)

What ya wanna do?

The Indecisive Eejit23 Comments

Daily Prompt: A to Z 

Create a short story, piece of memoir, or epic poem that is 26 sentences long, in which the first sentence begins with “A” and each sentence thereafter begins with the next letter of the alphabet.

Decision making Norn Ireland style.

Ach look at that sunshine. What should we do today?

Belfast will be chocker block, not sure I fancy it to be honest.

Chippy tea anyways, no matter where we go, ok?

Do you not think you could do with losing a couple of pounds ya big gorb.

Eh? What you on about, sure my body’s a temple.

Ffs, it’s certainly the size of a temple. (laughing)

Give my head peace will ya, you know what I mean.

Here. What about getting one of them new fangled trains up to Portrush?

I’m skint. I’ve enough for a dander round and me chips and that’s about it.

Job seekers not come in yet then?

Kiss my arse, ya cheeky shite.

Listen, we need to make a decision here, cos the day’s marchin on.

My minds a blank. I can’t think of anything to do at all.

Nor me.

Ok so what’s our options?

Portrush or Belfast, that’s all we’ve come up with so far.

Quite a choice there, just not sure I fancy either. I’d love to do something different.

Right ye are, so think of something then ya gormless eejit.

Shusssh, I’m getting the old brain in gear as we speak.

Thought I smelt burnin!

Up yours! At least I’m trying.

Very trying, that you certainly are.

Wait i’ve got it…

Xray vision?

You know that place where all the animals are…ahhhh…Bellevue…?

Zoo? Aye thats a good un, let’s go, I’ve got enough to get us both in.

The Geeky G4mer Gallery!

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Daily Prompt: From the Collection of the Artist It’s the year 2113.

A major museum is running an exhibition on life and culture as it was in 2013. You’re asked to write an introduction for the shows brochure. What will it say?

Hello Humans,

My name is Wee Geek. I am a Robot and I will be providing the introduction to your interactive brochure today.

Many things have changed since the year 2013, there are few left who can even remember it.

It is hard to believe that vehicles once ran on fuel. Who would have thought that such a simple thing as a Heinz Baked Bean held the power to propel both us and our vehicles. And to think  all it took was for Ms Anita Fart to recognise and harness that potential and power. The rest as they say is history.

This was a year in which people still used Ipod’s and other MP3 devices to listen to music. The Imusicbubble system did not come until much later and as we all know totally revolutionised the music industry. Could you imagine having to give up your bubble and it’s endless music list to insert two little mini speaker type things into your ear? I think not. But this is exactly what happened way back then.

2013 was also the year that MicroSuperHard started it’s rise to become the number one gaming system in the universe. The first half of the year saw Microsoft, as they were known then, fighting a hard battle with Sorry, formerly known as Sony in regards to their XBox One console release. After customer protests, it was well documented that MicroSuperHard had to back track on some of their original design plans and policies, however this was to be the turning point for the brand. In later years the changes on consoles were implemented,  but handled in a much better way and received with delight by their now loyal devotees.

Does anyone remember the camera? I didn’t think so. Before the advance of Digital Eye Image Processing and our ability to take a photograph with our eyes, this was the device they used. Optical and Digital Zoom, pixels and lenses were still used,  but did not come close to the kind of technology we have today.

The modern house of this era contained something they called a “Kitchen” described as a room or part of a room used for cooking and food preparation. They remained a feature until late in 2027 when the Tea Time Tablet was invented, removing the need to cook from everyone.

There are lots more exhibitions within the museum for you to see, I have only touched on a few of the main ones.

However before you go, the point of most importance is the fact that we are here at all, the fact that we have managed to survive. For many people in 2013 it seemed like the whole world had gone mad, there seemed to be endless fighting, wars, bombings and global warming was fast becoming a problem, things were spiraling out of control.

At their wits ends, the various Governments of the world were at a loss as to how to fix these growing divides as there did not seem to be a common thread to bind them all together. However, one day by pure chance an Aide to the then Prime Minister was reading a blog entry on WordPress from someone called The Geeky G4mer. In this post about Candy Crush was mentioned the possibility that subliminal messages were being broadcast to anyone who played the game, and also that it seemed the whole world was addicted to this sweet swapping saga. Seeing potential in this strange and random suggestion the Aide brought it to the attention of the PM and the worst fears of this lowly blogger became true. Using a subliminal messaging system forwarded via certain levels in Candy Crush the Governments were able to calm and control their populations ensuring that peace was restored to the land.

It has also allowed you to be able to visit us today and we hope you enjoy your stay at The Geeky G4mer Galley.

Daily Prompt: Flip Flop

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Flip Flops
Image by Bermi Ferrer

Daily Prompt: Flip Flop
Think of a topic or issue about which you’ve switched your opinion. Why the change?

Ok so I know I am really late on this, as the Daily Promt was on the 18th July, but hey, better late than never.

The reason it caught my eye in the first place, is because the thing about which I have switched my opinion, is infact the Flip Flop itself.

I’d never been much of a fan until I discovered a specific pair. They were a little more expensive than run of the mill Flip Flops that sold for a couple of quid in most retail outlets, and left you with blisters where the toe post nestled. Oh no! these were super flip flops, cushioned and most definitely built for comfort with a little flair thrown in for good measure. So good were they infact, that when a friend tried them on, she immediately went home and ordered herself a pair as well.

It was a match made in heaven, perhaps even love at first slip on. I thought we were destined to be together forever.

I’d love to tell you at this point, that my flip flops and I traveled all over the world together, seeing sights, eating at fancy restaurants and generally pounding a path across the universe, but, that would be a lie.

In fact the only trip my Flip Flops and I took, was on the living room carpet on the 6th July 2012. My souvenir, a ruptured patellar tendon.

I didn’t give it much consideration until later that evening when I was lying on a hospital gurney, leg in plaster from ankle to thigh and the Nurse said to me, “You know those are the worst things you could wear on your feet.”

So here’s the thing, I tripped because my toe caught at the bottom of my trousers, but, had I not have been wearing the flip flops then it may never have happened. It could also have nothing to do with the footwear at all, and they are just an innocent bystander, framed for a crime they did not commit, but her suggestion changed my relationship with my beloved flip flops forever.

There was none of the usual heartache that follows a breakup. The flip flops were relegated to the bin (they were done anyway) and I spent the next 6 months learning to walk properly again barefoot.

The other day I found a pair I had bought for going on holiday, which should have been the day after I tripped. I didn’t look at them with the same love and devotion I once had, infact I needed to get rid of them, so I took them to work and a colleague decided to buy them, even after I told her she did so at her own risk.

My love affair was well and truly over, never to be rekindled.

NB: After I had been back at work about a month or so I heard about a work colleague who tripped in a supermarket, breaking her leg in four places. Guess what she had on her feet! And no before you ask, it was not the colleague I sold mine to!

Daily Prompt – Ha ha ha!

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Better late than never for Fridays Daily Prompt.

Tell us a joke! Knock-knock joke, long story with a unexpected punchline, great zinger — all jokes are welcome!

My favourite joke!  

It’s late and a man and his wife are heading to bed for the evening. After turning off all the lights and heading up the stairs, brushing his teeth and all the usual bed time routine, the man is just about to remove his dressing gown when there comes a knock to the front door.

Not impressed he reties his dressing gown and stomps down the stairs flinging open the front door.

There stands a man who says to him “Here mate, you couldn’t give us a push could you?”

“Give you a push! Have you any idea what time it is, I was just about to go to bed, go on about your business and don’t bother me again” and with that he shuts the door.

He returns upstairs to find his wife in the bedroom with her arms folded, a rather stern look upon her face.

“Shame on you Jimmy” she says. “I’d like to think if you were stuck or broken down at this time of night someone would help you, and not slam the door like you just did. Now go back and give that fella a hand!”

Now bordering on angry, Jimmy again descends the stairs, flings open then front door and shouts “Hey lad, where are you?”

“Over here on the swings” came the reply!

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