sick – The Indecisive Eejit

Normally I am not a fan of the sunshine, but today it feels nice.

I’ve been feeling rubbish this last few days, it resulted in me being sent home sick on Friday, in fact being driven home. The whole corridor hearing me huey was definitely not a highlight of my career and not something I’d like to repeat either. Those toilets are very fecking low.

Aside from the vomiting there was this overwhelming sense of tiredness. I got into bed on Friday and slept away the whole day. Clearly I needed it, but man I was pissed, I had so many things I wanted to do at the weekend. As a consequence nothing got done, but hey shit happens, literally.

Lamenting my lost weekend I returned to work yesterday. It was fine once I got over the initial anxiety of returning.

It’s hard to believe that in just a few short weeks Summer will be over and the kids will be returning to school. It’s been so busy in work I hardly saw the time pass and virtually no days off has meant there has been very little merriment as well. Look at me pretending I’m all exciting and stuff.

I like September and getting out and about while it’s still relatively nice but the roads are perhaps not as busy. I’ll have to try and talk the Fathership into some adventures.

For now though it’s about knuckling down and getting things finished. It’s going to mean the loss of a few more weekends but it needs to be done. I can’t wait until my new work colleague is able to cover for a couple of days so I can avail of some leave, she managed great when I was sick so we’re on the right track.

I’m still thinking about the blog and what I’m going to do with it. I’ve read a few posts this week from people who have, for one reason or another, decided to call time on their blogs. I wonder sometimes if it is a stage we all go through, where what we started no longer becomes fit for purpose. I love my blog, but I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago when I began.

Each day I worry that there are not enough ideas in my head to keep me going, but somehow I still manage to make posts, so I guess that’s something right!?

Well my stop is next, unbeknownst to you, you were on my journey to work with me, that said you’ll not be reading this until my journey home, which is when I will have time to badly proof read and publish it.

I hope your day was a good one Eejits :)

After my earlier post and much discussion in the office about my new shoes it got me thinking. I have been back in work almost 5 months now and although I am far from being better, I am also much improved.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I very rarely “Always look on the bright side of life”, I tend to worry more about where I am going as opposed to how far I have come.

It’s been almost a year since my accident. Eight months ago I would never have imagined being where I am now. I thought my world had ended.

My next appointment is in a weeks time and I dread it. What if I go and they tell me they have found something on my scan and I have to go for more surgery. What if my now slightly higher than before kneecap is not right and has to be realigned. what if, what if, what if…..

I realised today I have pretty much lived my life from one appointment to the next. I can’t make plans. It’s a weight on my shoulders.

Aside from the fact of more surgery, there are other things to consider. More sick leave means going onto half pay again. Bills still need to be paid. It could also mean warnings from work.

But I can walk, that is the main thing here. Sure I may have a limp or not be able to do all the things I previously did, but I am walking. I’ve been through the toughest 7 months of my life and come out the other side.

I need to breathe and remember it is a long road to full recovery. There are many people fighting different battles and they do it with a smile because there is always hope.

Picture credit Bryce Johnson – click picture for more info