May Dupp: New Years Eve!


In hindsight deciding to pole dance on New Years Eve was not one of my better ideas, neither was using a lamp post as a substitute for the pole. But the straw that broke the camels back was the fact I picked a traffic island slap bang in the middle of Shaftsbury Square as my stage.

It is true what they say, ‘when the drink’s in, the wit is out.’ I will be forever grateful to the policeman some kind member of the public sent to assist me, for sharing that little gem of wisdom, although I still think his use of handcuffs was unjustified. Was it my fault he walked into my handbag just as I was preparing to land.

By the time 1am came I had been separated from the other members of my party posse. Happily drunk, but not to the point where I had no clue about the where, what and whys, I experienced a rush of self satisfaction when I made it into the kebab shop and was able to successfully place an order. A large kebab on pitta, all the trimmings, no sauce. Had I realised at that time that about 15 minutes later I would be using most of it to accessorize my rather delightful outfit, I might have just ordered a chip instead. Thinking about it now, that may have been why the lamp post was so slippery.

It was at this point I saw my friend Onda Poole, one of the aforementioned posse. She was halfway up a dark alley and looked to be in the midst of a struggle. Shouting her name I headed, I was going to say straight across the street, but it was more of a zig zag. Her hand moved in what I, at the time perceived to be a ‘come help me’ gesture,  but the closer I got  I realised it was meant to be more of a ‘feck off’ one. It seemed for my good friend there was more than kebab on the menu that night.

Never one to be outdone I spied the lamp post and seizing the opportunity to grab the attention of not only Onda and he with the wandering hands, but of everyone in the street, I started to climb. It seemed like such a good idea at the time and was certainly a crowd pleaser as everyone was laughing at with me. A few even started to clap their hands.

Egged on by the support I was receiving I inched my way further up the post. It was bloody freezing and I remember thinking to myself how glad I was to have worn the granny pants I had received from my Mammy at Christmas.It’s not easy trying to scale something the same size as Mount Everest whilst keeping your dignity in check. Apparently I failed as there was a roar of laughter from the crowd right after I heard some wee hood shout ‘Nice knickers!.’

It was at this point that things started to unravel, quite literally. As I turned to give the body attached to the voice a two fingered salute, I started, against my will might I add, to slide down the post. Unfortunately my woolie Christmas jumper decided to remain attached and snagged onto a huge (honestly it was) hook that I had thankfully avoided on both my ascent and now rapid descent.

It was also around this time I spotted the approaching policeman and in an attempt to distract Onda from her game of tonsil tennis and gain some much needed help I started to frantically wave my arms. I now understand why blokes call us ‘birds’, because I looked just like a mental seagull, flapping and squawking atop a lamp post.

Of course I tipped backwards and of course I was still turning at the time and of course my handbag was in my hand and in full flight when that silly policeman decided to walk into it. Now at the bottom, someone from the crowd helped me to my feet whilst copping a cheeky feel of my ample backside and there I stood, red faced and in a half top that made me look like a reject from that band Pepsi and Max, no wait that’s a drink, Pepsi and Shirlie.

A heated debate followed,with the attending Constable, as I tried to blame everyone, including the kitchen sink for the events of the evening. Even Onda, whose lips looked like they had gone 3 rounds with a plunger, came over to offer what I thought was going to be assistance. Instead she bid me a fond farewell, muttering that I had really done it this time.

The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur, I think I fell asleep as soon as they put me in my cell, but I did get a ride in a police car! :)

Well hello there 2014!

Image from Amazing Photos

Tomorrow has become today, so you know what that means right, yep, it’s New Year! It’s been a very quiet day, I remarked to my friend whilst we were having lunch that, for me anyway, it did not feel like New Years Eve at all.

Now the night has arrived I almost feel like I should be doing something, I dunno, let’s say swinging my granny pants over my head on a dance floor somewhere. The sad reality is though that I am so tired I am considering falling into bed and sleeping through the big event. I’m crafty though, I am going to type this now and schedule it for just after midnight. If you are reading it on the 1st of January (GMT) then my first foray into the world of scheduling was a resounding success.

2013 has been an up and down year for me. I had high hopes after the disaster that was 2012 that the new year was going to bring great things. In some ways it did, but it’s still been challenging none the less.

I finally admitted to myself that after the whole alien leg thing I was struggling with a bout of mild depression. In relation to the  recovery process I had been prepared for the physical pressure, but I had no idea how badly it would affect me mentally. I’m used to being able to do most things for myself, so having to take a back seat in some aspects and even rely on other people for assistance did not sit well with me. I still get extremely frustrated when there are things I can’t do, or on the days when I feel like the lower half of my body belongs to someone else. I’m learning to cope with the back pain that comes from the change to my gait, and the fact that my leg gives out at random intervals. The whole healing process is just going to take a little longer than I initially thought.

The biggest changes this year have been to my home life, with my Mum having stroke damage / dementia. Looking back it’s hard to believe I ever had a part time job. As things stand currently there is no way I would be able to return. Most days I adopt the ‘just get on with it’ attitude, but occasionally I feel it sitting very heavily on my shoulders and worrying about the future suffocates me. People tell me not to worry, but unless you are living in the situation day in, day out, it’s a rather rash statement to make. Here’s the thing though, I’m a bit of a believer in the saying ‘Things happen for a reason’, so I think there is a reason why I am here, it’s just not become apparent yet. I am extremely lucky to have good family and friends whose hands help me up when I am feeling down.

In 2013 I started blogging. The Geeky G4mer became The Indecisive Eejit and I found a little space on blogsphere where I was happy. I could never have imagined how much of a lift it would give me when on the 31st March 2013 I published my first post entitled ‘Ach what about ye’. In all honesty I had no intentions of staying, I figured it would be just another one of my fly by night ideas, but then a wonderful little thing known as interaction happened.

People started liking and commenting and following and as I got to know them all a new little group of friends formed, not to replace, but to compliment those I already had.

There have been days when the forecast has looked bleak and one of you has added a ray of sunshine. You all, have been an immense help to me, giving me a reason to keep on with my writing, offering me encouragement, sympathy, love and hope. I honestly do believe I would not have made it through unscathed without your support.

So to all of you, Internet friends, real life friends and my family, I wish you nothing but the best for 2014. Set your expectations low, but aim big.

Pri-Li sent me this via Facebook and I just had to share, because it summed up this Eejit and her followers perfectly:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every numpty can read, but look at you havin a go!
This is a sentimental time of the year.
Please send an encouraging message to fucked up friends, just as I’ve done.
I don’t care if you lick windows, or occasionally shit yourself.
You hang in there cupcake, you’re fuckin special, you’re my mate!
Look at you smiling at your phone!


Is something happening tomorrow?


Ok before I start let me just say I am rocking this whole one eye on the screen, one eye on the TV thing. This laptop is the dogs wotsits! Ok now that’s out of the way, I shall begin….

Is there something happening tomorrow? Is it a special day? There are lots of little New Year posts appearing in my reader, yet the big day is not till tomorrow. Anyone would think you guys are going to be heading out or something.

Up until my injury I always worked. New Years Eve has to be one of the loneliest nights of the calendar to work in a profession where the only contact you have with the outside world is by telephone. Strangely I didn’t mind, I had after all a job to do. Everything would go crazy until about 11.30pm and then things would calm a little as midnight approached. All the drivers would go home to spend time with their families and come the stroke of midnight I would go outside and stand at the front door of the office and listen for the boats sounding their horns as the clock struck 12. Back inside and after a quick call with the folks at approximately 12.15 the phones would start to ring off the hook and it would stay that way sometimes until 5 or 6 am.

On New Years Even it’s inevitable that taxies run late. That mate you promised a lift home, well I hadn’t actually allocated any time for him, so you make me late for the person after you, and so it goes on. When being shouted, moaned and whinged at, I had to sometimes and not always politely remind people that this was also my New Years yet I had given it up to make sure they got home safe.

It’s not that I am opposed to going out by the way, no I am not opposed to it at all, I just don’t like it, so umm no, not opposed.  Ok if truth be told it’s a direct result from trying and failing so many times to date men of the Scottish variety. Old Lang Syne still manages to reduce me to tears at any good New Year shindig I attend, so best to avoid them. (Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only, I can assure my Scottish exes my heart healed just fine.)

Last year without a doubt was the best New Year ever. Owing to the fact that I was still recovering from my injury and there was no chance I was going to be getting down and dirty on the dance floor, or in work for that matter, I spent it with friends on  the Xbox. We had such a laugh, mostly due to the fact that our friend Jelly likes a wee toot of Whiskey and decided to have one or two that night. Many times I laughed till I cried.

It will be hard to top that, although if everyone is around perhaps we can try to recreate the magic. Whatever happens I’ll not be too far travelled on New Years Eve and will no doubt stop by to wish you all a happy and safe one, whatever it is you choose to do.

P.S – It took me so long to TV Watch / Write the post that it’s now New Years Eve, so for the sake of continuity just pretend it isn’t! Thanks :)

The holiday is over!

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” ― Edith Lovejoy Pierce

I did it, tonight I watched the last episode of Greek. On both Friday and Saturday night I wrapped myself in my new fleece Geek blanket and had little mini TV marathons. By today I had left myself with just one little episode to watch. I was going to save it until New Years Eve, but I just couldn’t wait. All along I had been watching it thinking that there were more series and it was only a matter of time until they would appear. Imagine how sad I was when I consulted IMDB and realised that the episode I had just watched was the last one ever.

It left me with a dilemma, what to watch next. I like the idea of the program Dracula that is currently playing on one of the Sky channels. It’s not so much that I like men with pointy teeth and high collars, it’s more to do with the fact that I like lusting after Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I’d seen an introductory offer for Now TV which would give me the ability to watch the entertainment channels both live and on demand for £4.99 a month. I figured what’s to lose, if worst comes to worst then at least I can watch Dracula. Wrong! Only the last two episodes are on there and looking through the catalogue there is not that much else I would want to watch. Needless to say it’s getting cancelled at the end of the first month, but not before I watch Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew, because he is quite pleasing on the eye too, whilst teaching ordinary people to street dance.

Tomorrow it’s time to return to work and as sad as I am, I am also a little bit glad. I’ve been thinking 5 days is a little to long in the pressure cooker that can sometimes be my home life. That said I am looking forward to getting another day off on Wednesday.

There are still a couple of days left over which I can ponder my New Years Resolutions if indeed I choose to buckle and make some.  I’ll not get too stressed about it, I’ll just try and get through work and to the end of 2013.

The quote says it all really, for all of us who write, we have clean fresh pages and the choice is ours as to what we fill them with.

The countdown begins………..