My impending new job has helped to confirm something that I already suspected. I hate shopping, specifically clothes shopping, but that of the grocery variety is creeping into a close second.

I’m a confirmed jeans and t shirt kind of girl, the last time I wore a dress was for my sisters wedding, and she is about the only person I would make an exception for. Knowing full well what I am like she was happy enough to let me wear a black dress with white embroidery. It was no shock that when the hair stylist and make up lady had finished I looked like a completely different person, almost everyone remarked on it. Despite making promises to try and be more girlie I lapsed back into my usual comfort clothes.

I know full well that my current style of clothing is not suitable for the new job. As much as I would like to rock up to a meeting with the bosses wearing a ‘Feckin Eejit’ tee shirt, it’s just not going to be allowed to happen. With that in mind I have started venturing into the ladies clothes shop environment. It is a scary and frankly disturbing world for those who are unprepared. Thankfully my cuddly frame cuts down on the number of establishments available.

The one I prefer appears to grade us ladies of the fuller figure by our shape. There is Apple, Hourglass, Busty or Pear. Until I spoke to the girls in work I was a little worried that I was a fruit salad owing to the fact that I appeared to be little bits of everything. They put me at ease by informing me that I am in fact an Apple.

• Apple or V shape (triangle downward): Apple shaped women have broad(er) shoulders compared to their (narrower) hips.^[18] Apple shaped women tend to have slim legs/thighs, while the abdomen and chest look larger compared to the rest of the body. Fat is mainly distributed in the abdomen, chest, and face.

I personally think I may indeed be an apple, but there is a strong possibility I turn into a pear as your eye travels downwards.

So you’d think that now I am shopping for an actual shape that my task would be so much easier. Wrong! The genius who thought up the names didn’t seem to think it would be a good idea to put anything on the label. So there I stand in front of rows of shirts  not knowing which shape they are designed for, discarding them for texture, material type, colour, length etc. By the time I have finished there is only one shirt left and actually I quite like it. Yeah I think to myself, this shopping lark is easy…..but guess what, it’s not in my size!

Back to the drawing board and on to the next shop!

I know that a lot of the trouble with clothes shopping is psychological and until I get over myself I am never going to be happy in anything other that tee’s and jeans.  The thought of moving from black has me breaking into a cold sweat.

I’m going to take baby steps, a few key pieces at a time. I mean realistically, who has the kind of money required to totally transform a wardrobe in one fell swoop. It may just have to be that if they want me to take this job they are going to have to make do with a compromise on the clothes front, something like I cut the label off and wear my T shirts in side out. Sounds like a plan to me!!