Life in General!

Summertime Blues

The Indecisive Eejit23 Comments

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Thank goodness for post scheduling, because without it this week it’s unlikely there would have been anything from me. And before you get your knickers in a twist I know I only scheduled one, but that’s 100% better than none.

It’s been a funny, weird and strange month and I am having trouble trying to make sense of it all. I feel like I have been turned upside down, tipped out and then put together the wrong may. I’m still me, I’m just not quite the same as I was before.

I hate change and it’s takes me a little while to adjust to anything that is not the norm. Where home life is concerned we need to keep things as routine as possible, it’s the easiest way to avoid arguments, and it seems to have spilled into my life as well. When I heard about the new job I was torn as to how I felt, in my heart of hearts I knew that I was in a rut and needed a change, but if the truth be told I didn’t want the stress of having to learn something new. I get enough stress on a daily basis dealing with the Mothership.

I’m sure I’ll find my feet, I always do. Four weeks in and if you were to ask me how I was getting on, I would tell you that it’s 50/50. I’m struggling with the constant stream of work that comes my way because I hate being in the position where I don’t know what I have to do with something. It’s disconcerting going from knowing a job inside out to not knowing it at all. I want to learn everything yesterday, but I am smart enough to know that is not possible. I’ve never done a job like this before, but I forget that I had never done any of the other jobs before either and I had to learn them too.

The other half of me feels alive, and challenged and eager to get stuck in. For the first time in a long time I look forward to going to work and the days fly by because concentration eats away at the minutes and the hours. I have a lot of learning to do and I am sure I will make many mistakes but hopefully I will get there.

There have been a lot of ups and downs.

Monday came, and my friend rang to tell me his Dog had passed away. I loved that dog. He always came to greet me when I went to visit, lay at my feet when I worked at the computer, stood guard with me when I hid behind the garage for a smoke and constantly nudged my bad leg, even though I put my good one forward, but I didn’t mind because he was my chum.

I stood in my office and cried, because that was one more thing that had changed and it was one thing too many. I cried for Casey, the loss of my old job, my lack of experience in the new one and just life in general. Clearly that was what I needed, because after standing in my new office which doesn’t feel like mine, dressed in clothes that make me feel uncomfortable, crying my lamps , I felt calm.

I’m on a rollercoaster and all I can do is hang on and hope for the best!

Onwards and Upwards!

RIP Casey, you were this womans best four legged furry friend and it won’t be the same without you!

P.s Mama I have NOT forgotten about my 7 weeks of Weird it will be done :)

23 thoughts on “Summertime Blues”

  1. I am so with you on how you’re feeling right now of there being just one thing too many to deal with. You wouldn’t believe how things have been going for me lately and I spend most of my nights in just absolute sheer frustration mode ready to give up, ready to quit. But you know, even with the horrors I’ve been dealing with lately, it has commanded so much brain power that it actually is invigorating in a way….invigorating and exhausting! Am sure we’re only given so much because we can handle it and once we’re through to the other side, we’re gonna be alot better off in the end. I hope anyway! Fingers crossed for both of us!

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    • It never occurred to me until you wrote it that that is why I have been feeling so tired at night. It’s almost like I run around all day in a state of high alert and I don’t breathe until I leave the office. Invigorating and exhausting…that’s pretty much spot on. I hope things settle for us both soon :)

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  3. Keep hanging in there. You’re doing awesome! It sounds like your new job is really challenging you, which imo is a good thing. It’s when it stops challenging you that you should worry.

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  4. Honey, do not worry about it one tiny little bit. I’m not a stickler for rules or deadlines or any of that other nonsense. You’ve got a lot going on in the “real” world, so why the hell make this one hard for no reason? Do what you need to do to keep Juls running smoothly, we’ll just hang out with a cuppa until you come back to join us with a new funny story. *hugs*

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  5. R.I.P., sweet Casey. The humans who crossed your path are better for it.

    Sounds like you’re doing okay with the new job, though. I’m glad you’re keeping things in perspective — before you know it, this new different thing will become a comforting routine. And having a job you look forward to is so important!

    And you hush about my twisted knickers. How twisty my knickers are is nobody else’s business. Or something.

    :)

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  6. Yes my dear, change is an awful thing at first and if you’re really lucky it gets better. Like you, I have to keep things as close to the same as I possibly can around here or things just go haywire. Chin up love, it’s all gonna be OK … or so I was told :D

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  7. Struggling to post this as cat has decided she is in major purr mode….

    ((((Juls))))))

    Yup, the roller coaster that has us wildly plunging then climbing slowly — at least you have some control — hang on to the safety bar — and let go with the screams, or tears, when you need it. It’s what keeps us sane (okay – pseudo sane) and able to carry on.

    I have every confidence in you — if you feel stimulated and excited about the new job, despite all the unknowns and uncertainties, then that’s a good thing. Too much routine (and yeah, I normally love it and get really grumbly if it’s not my way) is not good. Shaking the tree is often just what we need – because life is never the same – always cycling — and so should we, within reasonable limits.

    Hang in there girl — and I’m sorry about the loss of your friend’s furry pal – your chum and mate too.

    It’s hard to lose a friend who loves unconditionally and really asks for little in return.

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    • I know I will probably get there in the end, it just seems like I have such a long way to go. It does feel good being challenged though and I feel like my old self….motivated! Sad thing is, between the new job and life at home there is little spare time for my other passions, like blogging. I am going to have to try and tie everything together somehow so I have time for everything :)

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      • Yes, find the balance in the craziness wars. But, as you get more comfie in the job, you’ll feel less stressed and tired, and I’m sure you’ll be able to find a way or 3 that works for you. In the mean time, just strip it down to essentials — where you need to engage in the blogging world the most, do it; where you need to cut back, do it. People will understand, after all, we have lives to live!

        Cheers :)

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  8. I always hate starting new jobs, too, where you don’t quite know what you’re doing. Also sorry on the loss of your doggy friend…always so sad.

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  9. I’m sorry to hear about Casey, such things can be very sad…

    And I wish I could go shopping with you, I’m sure we could find something good for you to wear that will also feel good, and not just look good :). Good luck on the job!

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