I thought it was bad enough the other day when the drunk gentleman swindled me out of the most gorgeous salad ever in my favourite lunch box, but today I find out he has also got me into trouble with the law.
There I was sitting at my desk minding my own business, flicking through a magazine, working, when I glance up and see a Police Constable talking to my boss, who was rather alarmingly pointing in my direction. I work in a little pod of four people. A quick glance under the desk confirmed there was nowhere to hide. If only I had brought my biggest handbag with me, everything fits in it, including the kitchen sink.
As he’s sauntering towards me I’m wracking my brains trying to think of anything that I could have done that would lead me to be in trouble with the law. Remembering I was out on Saturday night with Onda makes my blood run cold, as I realise there could be any number of things. Fear sets in and I am on the verge of jumping up and screaming ‘It was me’ while holding my wrists out to be cuffed, when I catch myself on and quickly sit on my hands, adopting a look of pure innocence. Batting my eyelids just makes me look like I have an annoying tic so I decided on this occasion to refrain.
Policeman: Good Morning Miss, would it be possible to have a word?
Me: It wasn’t me.
Policeman: What wasn’t you?
Me: Whatever it is you think I did, I didn’t, it wasn’t me.
Policeman: I see. So it wasn’t you who kindly donated your salad to a gentleman in the park the other day.
At his use of the word kindly my ears pricked up and my imagination went into overdrive. Perhaps I had been on one of those hidden camera shows and I was now in line for 20% of the old drunks hidden fortunes.
The quest for fame is a dangerous one.
Me: Oh aye, that, well yes that was me.
Policeman: Ah ha, so it was you?
Me: What was me?
Policeman: That thing I thought you did, that you said you didn’t, it was you.
I felt like I had been slapped repeatedly about the face so confusing was the conversation.
Me: Eh, yes, it’s a fair cop.
Policeman: Your name please?
Me: May
Policeman: May what?
Me: May Dupp
Policeman: Are you trying to be funny?
Me: No, why?
Policeman: I’m expected to believe your name is May Dupp?
Me: You can believe what you wish, but it’s May Dupp not made up. It was given to me by my Mammy.
Policeman: I see.
Me: You seem to see at lot of things.
Policeman: Well I certainly see your name going on a ticket for littering.
Me: But I didn’t litter.
Policeman: You left remains of your lunch in the park. Is this your lunch box?
Me: It might be.
Policeman: This lunch box with the sticker on the back that says ‘Mays Big Box?’
Oh bollox!
Me: But I left it with the elderly gentleman, I shared my salad with him. I can’t be blamed for him leaving it behind.
Policeman: (Raises eyebrow)
Me: Yep, that’s my lunch box.
Policeman: And this Miss Dupp is your ticket.
Me: Thank you PC….?
Policeman: Plod.
Me: I’m glad you find this funny, just give me the damn ticket!
So the moral of this story is, never give your big box to a stranger without removing the sticker first.
The Indecisive Eejit 
*LOL* Noted! :) Cher xo
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Yes, make sure you learn from my May Dupp mistakes :) lol
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Aye! Got it! *LOL* Cher xo
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Reblogged this on The Indecisive Eejit and commented:
Oh May. Whatever will be next!
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It always best to start the conversation with a parent or a policeman without the words It wasn’t me. Kind of challenges them to prove otherwise. I think that may have been the downfall and the sticker just added to it.
By the way, that picture in the post is quite scary. I think you might have got a little too much lift and be headed for a messy disaster!
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Fair point with regards to the picture, thats a lot of head for a little toilet! lol
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LOL…just when she thought she was safe……
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Sadly the long arm of the law stretched all the way through the office! But I shall learn from my mistakes, I hope. ;)
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Roflmao —– s’okay …. can’t stop …. need to breathe.
Bloody ‘ell May – you certainly have talent for trouble ;0
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I am a veritable Misadventure magnet, but I suppose somebody has to do it! :) x
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Lol —- misadventures turn into life’s most precious (and hilarious) moments and memories – usually after the fact, mind , and a couple of pints ;)
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5 a day my arse!
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Your arse does 5 what a day? and might I say that is one busy backside you have right there!!
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It’s been on a number of talent shows
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Damn, I can’t believe I missed that! I am sure it was a sight to behold lol
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Simon Cowell was speechless
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Tut tut May? Littering?! That’s deplorable. ;)
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But, but, but……….
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ahahahaha, do something nice and it’ll cost ya :lol:
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I know right!? Next time I eat on the run! lol
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I love it! Where have you been all my blog?
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Stuck inside the head of an Irish Eejit, who by the way says ditto with regards to you. She is glad we have all finally become acquainted! :)
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Oh May, ROFL over the sticker on your box — still, I bet my box is bigger than yours!
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Oh I say, this could lead to a game of I’ll show you yours if you show you mine, only I am afraid Mme Ross may win by belting me about the face with her frying pan! :)
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Lol you must have met Mme. Ross!
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Lol I am sure she is gorgeous inside and out if you chose her to fall in love with, but I’m also sure she’d protect you…with a frying pan lol
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Well, yeah I don’t doubt it. But I was referring to my lunchbox, it’s a big green one, long enough that a full-size Thermos can snap into the top of it.
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Oh my, that is a big lunch box you have!! ;)
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*blush* :)
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