My impending new job has helped to confirm something that I already suspected. I hate shopping, specifically clothes shopping, but that of the grocery variety is creeping into a close second.
I’m a confirmed jeans and t shirt kind of girl, the last time I wore a dress was for my sisters wedding, and she is about the only person I would make an exception for. Knowing full well what I am like she was happy enough to let me wear a black dress with white embroidery. It was no shock that when the hair stylist and make up lady had finished I looked like a completely different person, almost everyone remarked on it. Despite making promises to try and be more girlie I lapsed back into my usual comfort clothes.
I know full well that my current style of clothing is not suitable for the new job. As much as I would like to rock up to a meeting with the bosses wearing a ‘Feckin Eejit’ tee shirt, it’s just not going to be allowed to happen. With that in mind I have started venturing into the ladies clothes shop environment. It is a scary and frankly disturbing world for those who are unprepared. Thankfully my cuddly frame cuts down on the number of establishments available.
The one I prefer appears to grade us ladies of the fuller figure by our shape. There is Apple, Hourglass, Busty or Pear. Until I spoke to the girls in work I was a little worried that I was a fruit salad owing to the fact that I appeared to be little bits of everything. They put me at ease by informing me that I am in fact an Apple.
- Apple or V shape (triangle downward): Apple shaped women have broad(er) shoulders compared to their (narrower) hips.[18] Apple shaped women tend to have slim legs/thighs, while the abdomen and chest look larger compared to the rest of the body. Fat is mainly distributed in the abdomen, chest, and face.
I personally think I may indeed be an apple, but there is a strong possibility I turn into a pear as your eye travels downwards.
So you’d think that now I am shopping for an actual shape that my task would be so much easier. Wrong! The genius who thought up the names didn’t seem to think it would be a good idea to put anything on the label. So there I stand in front of rows of shirts not knowing which shape they are designed for, discarding them for texture, material type, colour, length etc. By the time I have finished there is only one shirt left and actually I quite like it. Yeah I think to myself, this shopping lark is easy…..but guess what, it’s not in my size!
Back to the drawing board and on to the next shop!
I know that a lot of the trouble with clothes shopping is psychological and until I get over myself I am never going to be happy in anything other that tee’s and jeans. The thought of moving from black has me breaking into a cold sweat.
I’m going to take baby steps, a few key pieces at a time. I mean realistically, who has the kind of money required to totally transform a wardrobe in one fell swoop. It may just have to be that if they want me to take this job they are going to have to make do with a compromise on the clothes front, something like I cut the label off and wear my T shirts in side out. Sounds like a plan to me!!
The Indecisive Eejit 
My advice go to the stores find what you like, then buy it online in your size. I hate shopping too, lol. Internet shopping on the other hand… yeah, I love that. :D
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You’re right, for some reason internet shopping does feel completely different. I might have to give that a try :)
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Love this!! definitely made me laugh lol can just imagine that shopping trip ;-) good luck in the new job btw! J x
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Thank you :)
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I’m a girl and I hate shopping too. I knew I liked you!! Great humorous post. :) Cut the label and rock it, Girl.
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Thanks lol I’m thinking of getting a new t shirt printed that says “What you see is what you get” lol
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I feel your pain Juls. Shopping for clothes might just be my least favourite thing in the world.
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Oh that we had enough dosh to employ personal shoppers! How have you been anyway? Good time away.
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Lovely time abroad and of course, I come back to the UK and weather sucks! Some things never change…
Am in a bit of a writing/blogging/what’s the point of it all funk. But on the upside, the book is almost ready to go! It was kind of hard making the necessary amendments from the other side of the world.
Hope all is well with you. Clothes shopping aside of course.
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I know not long now till the 28th!!
Isn’t it kind of natural you’d feel a little burnt out with all the writing and stuff after spending time on the book. The point of it all however is to keep us entertained, believe it or not we missed you :)
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Ha. You are very sweet Juls, thank you. I’ll be honest, I’ve missed reading every one else but didn’t actually miss the writing part that much. But as you say, I think I was just a little burnt out.
And forget the 28th, my dear. We’re going to print on Tuesday! Hopefully the eBook will be out next week too.
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Woohoo!! Can’t wait, I have ordered Tena ladies for the release date lest I pee my pantaloons with laughter on the journey to work :)
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Hahaha. Hopefully they won’t go to waste! I am trying to get out of my funk but will most certainly do some sort of shameless promotional post for the eBook. I cannot believe it’s almost out there!
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I hope you still love us when you’re famous and feeling the knee of all them dolls on the Good Morning sofa lol
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Haha. As if Juls. As if… Id just be happy if people pick up the book.
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Pick it up?? It’s pre ordered dahling! lol
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Oh wow. Thank you muchly my dear!
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Welcome to the office world!
Don’t let it suck your soul out.
If you can…
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I already work in an office, but it’s a little more relaxed regarding clothes etc. But yes, it can suck the life out of you when you’re not looking. That’s never gonna end well lol
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I don’t like shopping either. It’s rather inconvenient, I think. I thought I was the only female to feel that way.
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It appears there are quite a few of us. I shall have to think of something smart to call us lol
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Undoubtedly you’re quite beautiful. Accentuate that and transform your wardrobe one outfit at a time. If you must do black, wear something bright that you not only can live with, but that you like. It will give you confidence. The moment you let loose your worries about what other people think of you, you have the opportunity to realize your awesomeness — after all, they didn’t give you this job for no reason.
The most useful thing I have learned about self-confidence in recent times is that the reason we tend to be our worst critics is that we are experts on ourselves. You know every curve and metric of your body and so maybe you feel uncomfortable dressing in ways that might attract attention; I grew up a fat kid, so I totally get that. But I promise if you allow yourself to rock the aesthetic factor and be open to compliments you will find that you have more going for you than you give yourself credit for.
In short: don’t be such an eejit, Eejit!
;)
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I don’t take compliments to well, but I will say thanks…you made me blush..but I think perhaps you are wearing rose coloured spectacles.
You’re right I am being an eejit and I know it. I’m so used to being in dark clothes that I hate seeing myself in anything lighter. At this stage of the game though I will be happy to find anything because clothing is between seasons. It may have to be black plastic bag couture!
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Rose-colored? Depends on who’s looking (and criticizing.) Like autos, we humans are an alarmingly disgusting lot under the hood, and at the same time the majority of us are very beautiful while at the same time coming in many shapes and sizes; the older I get, the more apparent it becomes, and it’s not loosening standards of aesthetic appeal. You can’t fool me with your cartoon avatar, Juls.
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I’m beginning to realise that, you’re always one step ahead of me, but that’s good :) I need you to keep me on my toes lol
You do however realise you are rather fine inside and out right lol
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Lol I’ll take it and thank you very much! :D
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I hate clothes shopping, it’s an ordeal! Clothes are always a different size, length, width etc, depending on which shop you go in, and there’s all these rules and stuff.
I have this rule, when in doubt black and white for formal/work occasions. White shirts (or any bright colour) with black long sleeved cardigans are slimming. and comfy! I’m the same as you, the only thing I’m remotely girly about is my hair, and that’s not the everyday case, just for the “I suppose I should do my hair to go outside” case, when I really have to.
As someone who doesn’t really have a shape (Even though I’m definitely a healthy weight now), I can’t offer you much advice on that, apart from, not having a shape is just as difficult as having one. I think I’m an athletic body type, so I’m slim but with muscles, meaning a top that fits me in the chest, does not fit my arms, and I end up wearing baggy stuff because that’s what fits my arms. Also I have problems with any type of lower cut top, I always have to wear a top underneath them because apparently my chest is too high up.
Magazines and the media and stuff will convince you that there’s an ideal size or appearance for women, that’s bull crap, don’t judge yourself by unrealistic bull crap photoshopped ideals. I’ve been many weights including a size 0 (When I was ill), there is no perfect shape, because I couldn’t get clothes to fit then either and it was utterly horrid!
Own your body, I don’t know what you look like, but I know you’re a beautiful person, anyone who reads your blog will also see that, real life is not much different, we’re just told that outside beauty is important, but hardly anyone really believes it.
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I couldn’t agree more on all of that! I’d been thinking the same as you too, with regards to the black anyway for work. Simple pieces that I can then accessorize, hopefully cutting down on the clothing bill.
There is no perfect shape, the hardest thing (for me anyway) is falling in love with the shape I already am. :)
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Hey Girl – you CAN rock anything!
I agree with Rob’s wise comments – and if I can make a suggestion – honestly – because although I’m not getting promoted to anything other than possible the “completely disabled list” (fecking health!) I have recently been shopping – online and in store. Now a really great piece of advice – find some local or close to local stylist place where they are qualified and have “your colors” done. Seriously. It will tell you what “season” you are – which will go a huge way of helping you break out of “black is best” comfort zone.
Years ago I had mine done – and hated the outcome “Light spring” but when I used this as a guide, it was helpful. As you age, your colors can change – and since you’re in the prime of your life, I’d suggest doing it again. I too used to live by the “black is best” but the truth is – few can truly carry it off.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about – try this site. I found it awhile back – and did my colors again – and man, I’m rocking it now. TOTAL and Complete confidence boost. Seriously.
http://www.prettyyourworld.com/
As for shape – listen, give yourself a break. Look for classics and basics from which to build your wardrobe. The “fun” elements come from adding accessories, i.e. scarves, prints etc. But you need good quality foundation pieces. And that’s the start.
Take heart Juls – you can ROCK anything!
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Thanks for such a great reply. I will deffo check out the website because to be honest I need all the help I can get right now, although I am not going to buy a thing until the job is 100% confirmed.
I am however, my own worst enemy as people suggest colours and tops and I’m like ‘nope’ without even trying them. When it gets to the stage I actually have to go and buy, well them I am going to have to force myself to try new things. You will probably hear me scream all the way over at your house lol
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Lol —- as she runs around looking for ear plugs!
Listen -I so understand – and it’s really hard to step out of the fitting room – like no way eh?!!!1
But when it comes to branching out to colors – once you have a handle on your colors, you can always start small – you know – a lightweight scarf or something in that particular shade or close to it – and that can go so far into easing your transition, to let’s say, a top or shirt. No one says you have to go whole shebang – because even if it’s all appropriate – size, fit, style color – but it’s so far out of where you’ve been hiding – well then even if twelve million tell you look bloody brill – you won’t feel comfortable – and you won’t wear it. So start with basics and fundamentals – and work your way to where you’re like “shopping – eh, no problemo – can whip that off in an hour!”
good luck -you can rock it!
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Oh, I am another one that loves my jeans and comfort clothes! I hate shopping out of my usual comfort zone! I love what you said about the makers not putting the shapes (apple, etc.) on the tags. I also hate that they keep discontinuing every look that fits into my criteria (i.e. comfortable, not too frilly, not too bright, not too masculine, but not too dark, in the right size, etc.). It is just a totally overwhelming task trying to figure it all out. Hang in there with it and I’m sure piece by piece you’ll end up looking great in a way that’s still you with maybe just a bit more panache!
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I hope so, I never knew moving from jeans and T shirts into something a little more sophisticated could be so stressful. I mean seriously, who make shirts for voluptuous ladies like myself with no sleeves, do they not know that unharnessed bingo wings can kill people ffs!! lol
(Liking your style by the way so I shall be a new follower :) )
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Oh, thank you! Glad to have you on board and glad to be on board with your excellent blog! And yes, totally agree….sleeveless for the voluptuous had to come from someone brainless. It’s not even like we’re asking for couture clothes…just something livable that looks a bit on the I-made-an-effort side!
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