This morning when the train conductor told me my train was delayed and then followed it up with it’s now an express, you’ll have to wait for the next one, I just broke down and cried. I couldn’t help it, I even tried to stop it, but the tears they just kept falling!
The man looked at me in an ‘ah feck, hormonal woman alert’ kind of way! But he was wrong. I was crying out of sheer frustration.
My leg hurts, right now it hurts really bad, most likely something to do with the weather. It’s added pressure I just don’t need, I have so many things to do and my broken lower half just cannot keep up. My alleged ‘good’ leg is also now pitching a fit, probably because it’s sick and tired of taking the strain of it’s twin, I hear ya sister, I just can’t help ya!
Travel is a nightmare, a complete and utter nightmare and coupled with everything else it’s wearing me down.
Here’s the thing, life doesn’t stop just because you’re in pain, you still have to carry on with the tasks associated with the daily grind, suck up the extra physical pressure. I wasn’t however prepared for the extra mental pressure, the strain of coping with the day to day.
I’d been trying to stay so positive, reminding myself on a daily basis there are others in situations much worse than mine, and there are, but just lately it’s all started to crowd in around me just a little. I’m already in full on panic mode about the fast approaching Winter.
I have to say however that after a steady 15 minutes of free flowing waterworks I did feel somewhat better, that is until I reached work and someone made the mistake of asking if I was ok…ah feck here we go again with the leaking eyes and the hormonal stares!
I am currently sitting at my computer, typing this blog and munching on a brazil nut (apparantly they help to increase serotonin levels in the brain) whilst chanting positive mental attitude over and over again. I’m making progress, half an hour ago all I could get out was positively mental!!
I have high hopes for tomorrow. :)
The Indecisive Eejit 
I like the writing, not the pain. I hope you are doing better. Gotta love public transport when a train breaks down…boo.
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Boo indeed! Or in my case boo hoo lol Thanks x
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See on a day like this, I’d buy you a Guinness. Take it easy, we’re all pulling for you!
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You know, I’m not a big drinker but for yesterday I would have made an exception. A pint and a good old natter would have helped! Thank you :-)
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;) any time.
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Poor eejit, life’s been hard on you today, isn’t it? And people asking if you’re okay when you’re not… Yeah, that’s instant drama for sure!
Keep up the ‘get positive’ work though, because it seems as if it’s going well!
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I hope so, cos munching on all these Brazil nuts is doing nothing but making my jaws hurt! lol
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Just keep going with those positive mantras… Hopefully you’ll get through this. I know what you mean about the crying; when you’ve finally stopped and someone says ‘Are you ok?’ then it just gets worse!
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I know, it’s like just asking for the flood gates to be opened lol Thank you :)
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Seriously, frustration makes me cry on way little things than missing trains.
Don’t worry its not just you.
Have bright and shiny day tomorrow ! :)
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Many thank yous, today was much better, I made it through the whole day with not a tear shed :)
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I’m glad today was better. Once I get my own TARDIS I will let you borrow it sometimes :)
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I like that plan, can I dress up as a Dalek? lol
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No, you have to be a nice alien lol
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Lol, ok then, nice alien it is :)
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I so hear you on the chronic pain – and not only does it become unbearable physically, but it wrecks you mentally. A good healthy heaping cry is good for the system – helps let out the emotions – but it sounds like you’re struggling a wee too much lately. Could be a combo of many things – but chronic pain f*cks* you body’s ability to process pain and it does affect your overall well being and most certainly your mental health. It hasn’t been all that long for you – just over a year(?) but 1) stop dismissing your pain and injury by saying there are others worse off – of course there are – but it doesn’t change YOUR situation and 2) get thee to a doctor – your GP or someone trusted – who can help you manage your pain and your emotional state – if necessary – by all means – holistic/alternative/etc. – Find the doctor who can help you help yourself. I don’t mean to be a downer – and it’s fine if you don’t post this publicly, but GET HELP NOW. Trust me – giving yourself pep positive platitude pep-talks is not going to see you through. I know we are all different – but exposure to chronic pain constantly – does affect and run a fairly predictable course. I know – I’m well past year 10. So even though you may be feeling better now that I’m late replying … don’t blow yourself off. Please :)
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I love it when you come back, you always give good advice. My pain wouldn’t be as bad as yours, for me its more muscle and tiredness pain as I try to rebuild the muscles. It feels arthritic sometimes but they said that would happen, cold weather doesn’t help. The surgeon and physio just recommend paracetamol. I’m going to keep an eye on the anxiety and happiness meter though and if it doesn’t improve will take a trip to the quack. Welcome back, its not the same when you’re not around. Hugs for your pain x
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Ahhh …. “eejit” …. gosh – seriously …. is your name Juls? And if so, may I call you such?
Healing breaks and bones and muscles etc does take time – and yeah, the weather changes sure as hell don’t help. Not at all – I am positive that you too are now a walking wounded weather station – which, if it wasn’t so damn painful, wouldn’t be so bad. As long as you keep abreast of things – and if possible, necessary, stay in touch with the physio, he/she may be able to help with some of the pain business. And you should check in anyhow, because you’ve mentioned, you are now straining other body parts, probably not just your other leg, but your hips as well. And in the long term – the initial injury could end up giving you other problems – and we don’t want that.
Yes, please self-monitor yourself – I know it’s damn hard to ask for help – but sometimes just a wee bit of intervention goes a long way to helping stave off what can become a much heftier problem. And yeah, I worry about you – and boy, do I miss you when I’m not here. So I’m glad to be backkkkkk —– lol ——— and open for trouble ;)
Take care,
Pat
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Of course you can call me Juls, that’s a given, there was no need to ask :)
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Well …. just making sure …. sometimes we want to keep on hiding our identities here …. but it’s kinda strange to call ya Eejit, Juls :)
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